My sister is a Covid denier

[Mol1628]

I don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve struggled with her behaviour since the pandemic began. She’s denied covids existence. Refused to believe any of it. She even lost her job because she wouldn’t wear a mask.
She’s been going to protests and still meeting with a new group of friends who she’s met through a local resistance group.

At Christmas we all did LFTs and made sure we were well enough before we met up. She refused. My parents are too soft on her and let her stay over despite my dad being vulnerable.

Christmas Day at parents she said she had a dry throat but it was caused by the wood burner. Boxing Day she said she was fine and she came to our house. Towards the end of Boxing Day I noticed her voice was sounding hoarse. She refused to take a test. My mum asked her to go home but she wouldn’t (she’s been staying over at their house for Xmas) then she got more sick the next day and my dad now feeling poorly.

My husband felt a bit rough today. Took a LF as no PCR tests available. Positive straight away. My dad took a test too and he is also positive.

Sister still refusing to take a test and refusing to leave my parents house.

Am I being unreasonable to say I never want her at my house again? It’s not that she’s given us Covid, it’s the complete disregard for other people. She’s been selfish this entire time. She refused to wear a mask for my grandads funeral and made my mum cry with her behaviour on that day. I feel like this is the final straw and I want to cut contact with her now.

I don’t care if she does or doesn’t believe in Covid, but her complete disregard for other people is something I don’t feel like I can get past.

Sounds like she's just got no empathy, which explains the seemingly callous disregard for others.

Has she been tested for autism?

@User135644
Get away with your ableist shite.

This isn't really about covid. It's about autism. Covid is just what brought it to the point where it can't be ignored.

You're not going to be able to influence her behaviour. She's not going to change and no amount of explaining your point of view or calling her out on things will help her see your side. It's exhausting. I'd suggest quietly/subtly staying out of her way until covid is over. I say quietly because any other approach will upset you, upset your parents and achieve nothing.

OP’s sister doesn’t have an autism diagnosis. Posters - and OP - are speculating and making assumptions about people with autism.

@MoltonSilver

This isn't really about covid. It's about autism. Covid is just what brought it to the point where it can't be ignored.

You're not going to be able to influence her behaviour. She's not going to change and no amount of explaining your point of view or calling her out on things will help her see your side. It's exhausting. I'd suggest quietly/subtly staying out of her way until covid is over. I say quietly because any other approach will upset you, upset your parents and achieve nothing.

It has nothing to do with autism.

@Bizawit

But I’m not sure that she has behaved so badly? She’s just set boundaries around what she chooses to do and not to do because of Covid. It sounds like the rest of you in the family are angry because she refuses to conform to your expectations of how she should behave, based on your own opinions and values around covid; without respecting the fact that she has a different perspective and different boundaries to you. I personally think it’s a bit nuts to believe that Covid doesn’t exist / is a conspiracy , but plenty of people don’t support Covid restrictions for a range of legitimate reasons. It’s terrible that we have got to the point where we can’t accept that there is more than one way of looking at a situation, and that we think we can demand other people conform to our expectations in terms of what medical tests / Procedures they undergo/ what they where on their own bodies , etc. and that we are prepared to fall out with our own family members because of this.

But she stayed in the parents home knowing she was ill! There's nothing reasonable about that. Even if it's not Covid, if you feel ill in someone's home, the decent thing to do is go back to your own place and not expose people to any more illness.

And OP has said the sister also behaves unpleasantly in other ways.

I appreciate there's a range of views on covid and restrictions but the core behaviour here is unacceptable.

It has to do with appalling behavior. Those of you trying to minimize or blame autism, stop.

Making their Mum cry at their Father / father in law’s funeral for goodness sake. I would quietly withdraw from your sister’s life. Block her on your phone and social media. Take a break from her nonsense. If she comes to her senses you haven’t completely burnt your bridges.

If you took covid out if the equation and it was a nasty diarrhea/vomiting bug, I can imagine she would have acted in the exact same way. Passing it on and refusing to leave to prevent parents getting any worse.

Selfish entitled arsehole - I doubt v much I would be able to tolerate being in her presence for quite some time, nor want to expose my children to that sort of behavior

@IcedCoffeeMilkshake

I am just going to shoehorn a request that people not automatically equate lack of empathy with having autism. It;'s laze, offensive and usually inaccurate and it is trotted out with boring relentlessness on these sorts of threads.

The OP's sister might just be a selfish fucker. Many people are selfish fuckers.

Absolutely. The moment I read about how much of a dick the sister was being I wondered how long it would be before someone came on and suggested autism. People are selfish dicks because they’re selfish dicks, not because they are autistic. DH is autistic, is triple jabbed and always does LFTs before seeing my parents or his because he cares deeply about them and doesn’t want to put them at risk. He has challenges to overcome, for sure, but not caring about others isn’t one of them.

The sister is just a selfish Covid denier who is stupid to boot.

Thankfully we are on day 6 now and looks like we are all coming out the other side including my dad thank goodness.

My parents have said we would have caught it anyway and as long as we are all ok that’s all that matters.

I’ve told them that I can’t forgive, forget and I won’t be minimising her behaviours. And I am protecting my immediate family from her toxic behaviours. And they can make whatever decision they want but I’ve made my choice.

For those saying it ish fault. I absolutely accept we shouldn’t have seen her when I knew what she was like. I didn’t however think she would go as far to conceal the fact she wasn’t feeling well, refuse to take a test or leave when asked to, and then not even ask how we were or offer any help. Yes I was naive. Only thing I can do now is remove her from my life so I don’t have to suffer the consequences of her behaviours anymore.

Thanks everyone for your opinions and experiences. It’s so sad that it’s come to this and that Covid has destroyed so many relationships in this way.

Sorry your family are the same. It’s infuriating when you try and do the right thing and be considerate but always take the weight of what’s happened.

Let us unpack this for clarity.

Sister isn't bothered about COVID, unjabbed and untested. Got a sore throat and completely fine otherwise.

You and family, very bothered about COVID, jabbed and tested. Got a sore throat and completely fine otherwise.

Your parents not particularly bothered about COVID, jabbed and tested. Got a sore throat and completely fine otherwise.

This is a drama of your own creation.

@TheNoonBell

Let us unpack this for clarity.

Sister isn't bothered about COVID, unjabbed and untested. Got a sore throat and completely fine otherwise.

You and family, very bothered about COVID, jabbed and tested. Got a sore throat and completely fine otherwise.

Your parents not particularly bothered about COVID, jabbed and tested. Got a sore throat and completely fine otherwise.

This is a drama of your own creation.

I don't think you read the same posts as I did.

I note you omitted that she refused to leave the house when asked.

It is sad but it’s your sister who has destroyed her relationships, if it hadn’t have been COVID it would have been some other thing. Wishing you the very best OP.