My sister is a Covid denier

[Mol1628]

I don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve struggled with her behaviour since the pandemic began. She’s denied covids existence. Refused to believe any of it. She even lost her job because she wouldn’t wear a mask.
She’s been going to protests and still meeting with a new group of friends who she’s met through a local resistance group.

At Christmas we all did LFTs and made sure we were well enough before we met up. She refused. My parents are too soft on her and let her stay over despite my dad being vulnerable.

Christmas Day at parents she said she had a dry throat but it was caused by the wood burner. Boxing Day she said she was fine and she came to our house. Towards the end of Boxing Day I noticed her voice was sounding hoarse. She refused to take a test. My mum asked her to go home but she wouldn’t (she’s been staying over at their house for Xmas) then she got more sick the next day and my dad now feeling poorly.

My husband felt a bit rough today. Took a LF as no PCR tests available. Positive straight away. My dad took a test too and he is also positive.

Sister still refusing to take a test and refusing to leave my parents house.

Am I being unreasonable to say I never want her at my house again? It’s not that she’s given us Covid, it’s the complete disregard for other people. She’s been selfish this entire time. She refused to wear a mask for my grandads funeral and made my mum cry with her behaviour on that day. I feel like this is the final straw and I want to cut contact with her now.

I don’t care if she does or doesn’t believe in Covid, but her complete disregard for other people is something I don’t feel like I can get past.

I would cut her off forever tbh. I couldn’t deal with that level of stupidity.

@Mol1628 I think you’ve been perfectly human, of course you wanted to believe that your own sister would, at a minimum, keep away with cold/flu symptoms knowing that you were all taking covid seriously and taking precautions.

It’s like taking a dog over to a house where you know someone really doesn’t like them/is phobic. You might think the dog is a slobbery softy but it’s not what you think that matters it’s about making someone else feel uncomfortable and taking away their choice.

Some people's mental health means they deny rather than accept facts/data even if right in front of their face.

Not a lot you can do about her stupidity. Your parents have made their own bed and are adults so if they want to pander to her so be it. You can distance yourself if you wish/ignore/block or use evidence (probably ignore it though).

@IcedCoffeeMilkshake

I am just going to shoehorn a request that people not automatically equate lack of empathy with having autism. It;'s laze, offensive and usually inaccurate and it is trotted out with boring relentlessness on these sorts of threads.

The OP's sister might just be a selfish fucker. Many people are selfish fuckers.

Totally.

There are many selfish, ignorant people. They are just that - selfish and ignorant.

@Lessofallthisunpleasantness

Trouble is this new variant is really a pretty mild cold so will probably add fuel to her fire.

Isn't it only 'a mild cold' for the triple jabbed? A friend of mine is triple jabbed and feeling really poorly. Colds can still make you feel proper shite, don't forget

@Mol1628

I don’t know what to do anymore. We’ve struggled with her behaviour since the pandemic began. She’s denied covids existence. Refused to believe any of it. She even lost her job because she wouldn’t wear a mask. She’s been going to protests and still meeting with a new group of friends who she’s met through a local resistance group.

At Christmas we all did LFTs and made sure we were well enough before we met up. She refused. My parents are too soft on her and let her stay over despite my dad being vulnerable.

Christmas Day at parents she said she had a dry throat but it was caused by the wood burner. Boxing Day she said she was fine and she came to our house. Towards the end of Boxing Day I noticed her voice was sounding hoarse. She refused to take a test. My mum asked her to go home but she wouldn’t (she’s been staying over at their house for Xmas) then she got more sick the next day and my dad now feeling poorly.

My husband felt a bit rough today. Took a LF as no PCR tests available. Positive straight away. My dad took a test too and he is also positive.

Sister still refusing to take a test and refusing to leave my parents house.

Am I being unreasonable to say I never want her at my house again? It’s not that she’s given us Covid, it’s the complete disregard for other people. She’s been selfish this entire time. She refused to wear a mask for my grandads funeral and made my mum cry with her behaviour on that day. I feel like this is the final straw and I want to cut contact with her now.

I don’t care if she does or doesn’t believe in Covid, but her complete disregard for other people is something I don’t feel like I can get past.

is your husband still well enough to get hold of this idiot by the back of her neck and the seat of her pants and literally throw her out the door of your parents house? how dare she behave in such away to infect your family! she needs removing right now, tonight, and sent packing home! let her stupid idiotic friends take care of her when she finally does become ill,

FROM NOW ON NO MASK OR TEST DONE INFRONT OF YOU, THEN NO CONTACT AND STICK TO IT she has made your parents ill

Please don’t fall out with your sister over covid. This situation has divided too many people

@Bizawit we’ve taken this approach with her for almost two years. All that’s happened is everyone has suffered but her.

YADNBU incredibly selfish behaviour. How old is she. I'd refuse to have her at any event she was in charge of. I sympathize, I have a family member like this, though not a close one luckily. I can just about put up with the anti vax nonsense but it's either Vax or test for me. If you won't do either (my family member won't, even wrote to the kids schoolmsaying she would sue them if they lat flow tested her kids - she thinks they give you cancer) - see you in a couple of years.

@Bizawit I'm not sure you are directing that comment to the correct sister.

@Bizawit they have already fallen out with her due to the OP’s sister’s outrageous behavior.

But cutting close family out of your life forever is a major step I agree. If the sister was already toxic before the pandemic, I probably would use the current situation as a reason to cut ties. But if she was previously ok I would tread more carefully. I read a scientific journal editorial where the delusions of COVID deniers were presented as so strong, they were compared with the lack of facial recognition experienced by patients with dementia. That’s a strong claim.

Imagine having a delusion that feels so real to you that you’d risk a much loved parent’s life, or making them very sick. Imagine it being so real to you that you would upset your relatives at an already upsetting formal occasion like a funeral. Imagine your delusion meaning that you lose your job, your savings, some of your old friends. Having to use a food bank. It isn’t normal and is possibly pathological. It’s this thought that stops me giving up on my friend. That she can’t entirely help her behavior, that it’s a disorder. I make the choice not to spend time with her but I haven’t totally cut her off for this reason. Whilst there’s a chance that she isn’t just being a twat.

Cut all ties with her OP, she sounds like a proper C U Next Tuesday.

Karma will get her one day and you don’t want to be around to deal with the fall out from that. Some people are beyond help unfortunately. Hope everyone makes a swift recovery.

Incredibly selfish and unfortunatly mine is the same!

@Thewiseoneincognito You know I said that to my mum. She’s ruined two christmases now with her behaviour. I don’t want to let her ruin a third one for the sake of keeping the peace.

@LivingDeadGirlUK oh no! What are you going to do about it? It’s just an awful unbelievable situation isn’t it.

[quote Mol1628]@Thewiseoneincognito You know I said that to my mum. She’s ruined two christmases now with her behaviour. I don’t want to let her ruin a third one for the sake of keeping the peace.[/quote]
I have said this alot in real life and on MN. Everyone tiptoes around the most difficult person in the room. It's simply not on. Put your foot down. Disengage. Your parents have been trained by her to cater to her, That is their problem, sadly. You do not have to follow or keep the peace or cater to her anymore.

I hope your parents recover well. very best of luck.

[quote Mol1628]@LivingDeadGirlUK oh no! What are you going to do about it? It’s just an awful unbelievable situation isn’t it.[/quote]
There is nothing I can do, she actually took a test but when it came up positive and my parents asked her to go home she went, but has now been visiting all her mates and spreading it about!

to be honest it your own fault. You knew what she was like, you knew her views so you knew the risks. So did your parents.

You're passing the buck.

I'm not justifying her behaviour but she had a hoarse voice which is not a covid symptom.

There's nothing to say your sister even gave it to you all.

@IcedCoffeeMilkshake. That’s exactly what’s happening! I called her up on some other poor behaviour the last day I saw her (because I was already fed up of her !) she snapped at my son and I said hey he’s done nothing wrong don’t speak like that. And she put a pouty face on like a three year old because I had dared to say something. Overall, the atmosphere has been extremely unpleasant and you’re right. We don’t have to cater to her anymore.

Oh wow @LivingDeadGirlUK that’s awful and so very similar to what is happening here. It’s scary how the pandemic has brought this out in people isn’t it. I hope you’re all ok.

[quote Mol1628]@Thewiseoneincognito You know I said that to my mum. She’s ruined two christmases now with her behaviour. I don’t want to let her ruin a third one for the sake of keeping the peace.[/quote]
Two Christmases?

Are you feeling any better today?

Yes two christmases. since the start of the pandemic her behaviour has made things very tense and difficult. Last Christmas she was kicking off about the restrictions and all sorts just making the environment very unpleasant.

But I’m not sure that she has behaved so badly? She’s just set boundaries around what she chooses to do and not to do because of Covid. It sounds like the rest of you in the family are angry because she refuses to conform to your expectations of how she should behave, based on your own opinions and values around covid; without respecting the fact that she has a different perspective and different boundaries to you. I personally think it’s a bit nuts to believe that Covid doesn’t exist / is a conspiracy , but plenty of people don’t support Covid restrictions for a range of legitimate reasons. It’s terrible that we have got to the point where we can’t accept that there is more than one way of looking at a situation, and that we think we can demand other people conform to our expectations in terms of what medical tests /
Procedures they undergo/ what they where on their own bodies , etc. and that we are prepared to fall out with our own family members because of this.

*wear not where

Suggest it’d be helpful to take the ‘we’ out of this.

You and your parents may well make different choices, which is fine. They are competent adults.

You alone can’t determine what you ‘let’ happen as regards the future, eg next Christmas, if this involves your sister and parents, only take decisions for yourself and (with your partner, if you have one) your nuclear family.

What @IcedCoffeeMilkshake said. Being autistic might make it harder for you to pick up on social clues. It doesn’t make you an arse.