Something just occurred to me

[Lifeisnteasy]

For so many people, this will be their last Christmas without them realising car crashes, sudden illness, accidents, violence.

Yet we’re being told by so many people that it’s ‘just one day’ and that covid takes priority as usual.

I know there aren’t any restrictions as such, but I’m getting so fed up of this competitive Puritanism where people make out special events and socialising are indulgent luxuries that we should happily forgo for the sake of ‘the public’ or ‘the NHS’.

Feeling down today.

I’m so sorry to hear that @badlydrawnbear your situation was exactly the kind I’m thinking about. The hidden cost of all this. How only some people seem to matter. Hope you manage a peaceful Christmas week 💐

We are rubbish at death in this country, as had been said upgrade it's an absolute and yet we are so lucky in this country that we have the healthcare/infrastructure to enable so many who might otherwise die to live.

I agree about just getting in with things but seeing friends who work in the NHS literally broken (and knowing treatment for some is delayed as but enough staff/staff being redeployed) means I accept that we need to adjust what we do, not so much to shield those that are vulnerable, but more to preserve care and treatment for those that need it.

If the NHS were a limitless resource I would absolutely crack on, sadly it is anything but

@Lifeisnteasy

For so many people, this will be their last Christmas without them realising car crashes, sudden illness, accidents, violence.

Yet we’re being told by so many people that it’s ‘just one day’ and that covid takes priority as usual.

I know there aren’t any restrictions as such, but I’m getting so fed up of this competitive Puritanism where people make out special events and socialising are indulgent luxuries that we should happily forgo for the sake of ‘the public’ or ‘the NHS’.

Feeling down today.

It's rough. With the stupidest offenders, I find a derisive snort is very helpful.

Half my family live a long haul flight away. We only ever see them in the summer because that's when the holidays are longest. I haven't seen them in person since the start of covid. Unless you're super religious, I don't see why Christmas is the be all and end all.Family is important, seeing them is wonderful - but why get hung up on what day of the year it is? If you haven't seen them for ages, and you love them, then it's special and memorable whenever it happens. Bring gifts! Eat turkey! Enjoy! I think it's sensible to try to have a get together at a different point in the year if you can, the way things are at the moment, because who knows what next year will be like, and as you say, you never know what tomorrow will bring. Here's hoping I get to see my family again soon, we can have Christmas in August for all I care.

@badlydrawnbear I'm sorry. Wishing you and the family a peaceful Christmas.

But that's exactly the sort of thing I'm thinking about. There are no guarantees. That everyone will still be happy and healthy next Christmas.
We have to start living again, we can't keep life being on hold.

... And I wish I hadn't opened this thread..

This year we can make our own judgement on this, just like in 2019 and before when we visited elderly relatives and potentially brought colds and flu. I'm midway packing us up to go to my parents, ok procrastinating

Thing is OP, that has always been the case. I’m sorry it’s hitting you hard today but the truth is any day could be our last.

That’s not to say we haven’t had/got extra stressors resulting from this pandemic but it’s always been true that you never really know what the future holds.

One of the main things missing from our approach to covid has been a real, concrete awareness that we all, 100% of the time, are on a terminal trajectory. That knowledge is what allows us to put risks of other kinds in perspective so we can make good choices about them.

Exactly.

The thing about lockdowns/restrictions is that they aren't a pause button. It's time that you won't get back.

@Cornettoninja

Thing is OP, that has always been the case. I’m sorry it’s hitting you hard today but the truth is any day could be our last.

That’s not to say we haven’t had/got extra stressors resulting from this pandemic but it’s always been true that you never really know what the future holds.

But back in 2019 we weren't being told to limit contacts and think about whether they were essential or not. And we don't really know what's essential as none of us know how long we have.

We actually didn't see MIL and FIL for Christmas in 2019 for all sorts of sensible practical reasons. We'd planned to have Easter with them but were in lockdown by then and so couldn't. They both died (not covid) in 2020 so that's it for us

But back in 2019 we weren't being told to limit contacts and think about whether they were essential or not. And we don't really know what's essential as none of us know how long we have

But you know who and what is important to you presumably? That’s what you prioritise.

@Cornettoninja

But back in 2019 we weren't being told to limit contacts and think about whether they were essential or not. And we don't really know what's essential as none of us know how long we have

But you know who and what is important to you presumably? That’s what you prioritise.

But you can’t when restrictions and rules are in place?

OP - forgive me if this is overstepping, but I used to think like this a lot when my depression was untreated. If you feel you need to, never be afraid to speak to someone.

@Lifeisnteasy when are you talking about specifically? Past, present or future? Currently you’re free to do as you please and have been for the majority of the year, last christmas we were restricted (whatever your feelings were about it) and we’re currently in a period of uncertainty because we don’t really know what’s round the corner but we’ve had hints that could point either way.

Currently you’re free to do as you please and have been for the majority of the year

That very much depends where you are and what plans people have / had.
Scotland is limiting contact to 3 households, nightclubs closing for 3 (who knows how many weeks), pubs need to be booked max two hour slots, kids wearing masks in school for a year and a half, unis still majority online. This is not normal.
My holiday is cancelled it was cancelled last year, rebooked for this, I've had to tell my kids it wasn't happening.

Agree. Near where I am there was a massive fire that almost completely destroyed a block of 24 flats last Wednesday. One confirmed descended and two still missing. No one could predict that, and so close to Christmas it must be heartbreaking for the families, especially those of the two sadly unaccounted for.

Desceased, apologies for my disrespectful autocorrect there.

My wedding has been delayed twice and now indefinitely put on hold
I haven’t seen my dad who lives abroad since the end of 2019
Covid ruined my maternity leave
I now work from home where I used to love a sociable and active work life
Endless PCRs and isolation with my toddler has given me severe health anxiety, crashed my attendance at work & meant I have spent so many weeks sat inside exhausted and miserable
The degree I was doing part time has been utterly derailed by the sheer amount of time I have spent at home isolating or with a sick child

I hate what covid has done to my life

I feel the same. I'm not saying we should have done nothing about COVID but so much quality of life has been lost (and is being lost) and will it be worth it in the end?

OP EVERY day could be your last day. Live life accordingly (without being a dick to others)

And that’s not to mention my relationship with DP which has deteriorated due to the stress of everything and the fact we no longer have separate lives
The cancelled plans and weekends away
No holiday since 2018 (I was pregnant at the end of the year)
Not seeing friends
Not seeing family
My chronic illness being exacerbated by stress and not being able to access appointments
I’m so done with everything
There will be so so so many others out there like me, the effect on our lives is disregarded as long as others are ‘kept safe’
I was happy to stick to the rules, have my vaccine. But I’m at the end of my tether now

@coochyboochy

I feel the same. I'm not saying we should have done nothing about COVID but so much quality of life has been lost (and is being lost) and will it be worth it in the end?

I don’t think so, no. It’s convenient for everyone to ignore the overall impact as it is unquantifiable and insidious.

to everyone having a shit time.

While we're in a sombre mood, there's a bit in Tess of the D'Urbervilles that always gives me chills:

“She philosophically noted dates as they came past in the revolution of the year. Her own birthday, and every other day individualized by incidents in which she had taken some share. She suddenly thought, one afternoon, that there was another date, of greater importance than all those; that of her own death; a day which lay sly and unseen among all the other days of the year, giving no sign or sound when she annually passed over it; but not the less surely there. When was it?”

'Sly and unseen', brrr. 😱 Once it occurs to you, you can never un-think it.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Ooooooh 😮

It makes the point well doesn’t it. Life is death, death is life, we all ‘have more Christmases’ until we don’t.

Well I don’t disagree and I think everyone has been impacted to some degree. It’s not uniform though. The point that (in this case) this will, unknowingly, be the last Christmas for many still stands and always does for any point of celebration or importance at any time. That’s not exclusive to this pandemic. It makes things harder for sure but not completely impossible. The choice is what you do with that information and how you let it colour your life.

I don’t know, maybe it’s how you consider the pandemic that makes the difference for me. This isn’t something being ‘done’ to us, it’s ‘happening’ to us iyswim? It’s a very long winded disaster.

Compare this Christmas to last year, we aren’t in the same degree of restrictions etc but covid is still impacting massively. None of the measures taken or available for consideration have ever been about solving covid completely, just attempts at minimising the impact it can have. That’s worth something imho although people will disagree I’m sure.