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Original poster

Has the pandemic changed your personality?

54 replies

Amrapaali · 20/12/2021 13:51

After two years, I look back and see I have become more blase and nihilistic. In 2019, I would have described myself as upbeat and optimistic. I am still cheerful enough but have become cynical and more hard-headed about things.

On the plus side, I am not shy or reticent any more. I used to be painfully self-conscious and think thrice before talking about anything to anyone. Now I am more outgoing. I was confident pre-pandemic but down the line I have grown more into this confidence, become more easy in my skin.

No idea why- more time spent at home in my own company? Or just become more gobby cos desperate for social interaction? Grin Or probably a combination of old age, peri-menopause and thinking "sod it . Life is too short. I don't care what anyone thinks about me"

Anyway I like it and hopefully these traits hang around way past the pandemic.

Have you changed at all? Personality-wise?

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Sausage222 · 20/12/2021 13:55

I take peoples sh*t less now. Which isn’t a bad thing.

Before I was a people pleaser. Now if someone irritates me I let them know.

And I’ve probably become less patient and empathetic…mainly down to my own covid stresses mean my fuse is shorter…I’m trying to reverse these changes!

CMOTDibbler · 20/12/2021 14:00

Not my personality, but I have realised how little people care, and instead of being someone who'd do a favour for anyone I'm much more respecting of my time

CMOTDibbler · 20/12/2021 14:02

And not just being a dick about it, but if people didn't send me a text/personal message/card when both my parents died within 30 days of each other, y'know, I don't owe them anything

motheroflions · 20/12/2021 14:09

The pandemic has put so much pressure on me. I am so fucking tired. I never stopped working through the pandemic, despite trying to home school the kids, my marriage took on massive strain and I feel like I am on the edge of a nervous break down.

I feel like most people do not give a shit about anyone else despite me being in a role that I have to invest time, energy and emotions in other people. I feel like people have drained the life force from me.

I dont see my lovely friends as I am either wrapped up in work, trying to spend time with my kids or just too fucking tired.

Prepandemic I had energy and really enjoyed the little I had made, now I feel like I am in chaos

The pandemic has undoubtedly changed me.

Turkishangora · 20/12/2021 14:11

I've seen them light about some so called friendships and am working on letting them go. I've realised I need a hell of a lot of quiet time and have withdrawn from making a lot of social arrangements. I think I used to have a packed diary because of fomo but now it's busy with more solitary things or just me and immediate family. People have shown their true colours this pandemic.

gorgeousbimbam · 20/12/2021 14:18

@motheroflions I totally agree. And with working and the children I don't know when I'll have the time and space to ever recover. I feel really scared that this is it until I am somehow signed off work for months, resignor something else drastic even though we can't afford for me to not work. I just don't know how to recover and can't believe that I'm still totally crushed by the events that were a long time ago now. Flowers for you

MiniTheMinx · 20/12/2021 14:54

Yes, I find myself not giving a shit about many things and people. Before I would have cared at least enough to have an opinion, and at least enough to do the basic curtesy of considering others, even those I wouldn't consider friends. Now I care for myself, my family, my friends and I'm struggling to not feel cynical and distrusting of others.

leavingtime · 20/12/2021 15:03

I live alone and now feel even more isolated since the pandemic began. Some people have indeed shown their true colours. A couple I would put myself out to visit regularly told me over the phone they were enjoying being in lockdown/not having visitors and would like it to continue.

Since then [over a year ago] there has been no contact...I get their ansaphone when I've rung, no Christmas card and I can see they are in the process of moving away [house on rightmove] and not told me and probably won't tell me any new address. Fair enough.

I have no idea what I have done, not a clue. However I have adjusted and care less. I'm even more used to living on my own... they obviously don't appreciate what it is like to be in a house alone every day/evening/night... and I feel cynical and resigned and philosophical. It's been tough anyway as I don't see family as much either. Certain people have used this situation to reject others...thus proving they were being hypocritical previously. Better off without this type of personality.

Original poster
Amrapaali · 20/12/2021 15:44

Flowers for you @leavingtime

It is hard being alone. I am generally introverted and find it has been easy shutting myself off. Trying my hardest to put myself out there

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DaisyNGO · 20/12/2021 15:49

Not sure if I am using the right terminology

But friendships have gone and I will now look at future friendships only in terms of practicalities.

fourdayholiday · 20/12/2021 15:52

I think largely wfh must have had an impact. Positive one, not having to commute daily.

I definitely appreciate nature more, and also my own area.

Hbh17 · 20/12/2021 15:55

No, I've always been grumpy and anti-social 🤣

Squashpocket · 20/12/2021 16:01

I think that the lockdown over winter basically stripped my life back to the bare minimum and I learned what things I need to keep my mental health intact. I'm now not afraid to prioritise those things, whereas before I probably gave too much of my self and worried about what people thought too often.

I found out I don't need to see my mother, she makes me more miserable. I also found out I desperately need the company of other mothers for my sanity. I also need to keep a tidy home - I have a cleaner now for the first time.

I think it gave me a deeper sense of self knowledge and I'm more confident and peaceful because of it.

I also learned what the signs of burn out feel like to me and how better to deal with them, rather than stuffing it down and cracking on.

user1471538283 · 20/12/2021 16:12

I too am exhausted. I've worked through it all, had to move because of neighbors, supported friends and bf and I feel close to tears.

People have shown their true colors and I'm never forgiving some of them.

2020isnotbehaving · 20/12/2021 16:28

Ye me spent 6m without any human contact at all when shielding. Could have in theory bubbled up but everyone else was already doing with someone else. Can’t say exactly what’s changed but I do feel different. Think people take human contact for granted especially when you are in a couple or have kids and people can’t comprehend what it’s like to have none at all

Akire · 20/12/2021 16:29

I mean physical contact obviously had plenty of virtual met ups but not same as a hug or a touch.

Original poster
Amrapaali · 20/12/2021 16:42

@Turkishangora Ah yes the dreaded FOMO! I used to suffer crippling fomo - but not enough to do anything about it obviously Grin

Now if I hear of or see friends having meet-ups without me I literally couldn't care less. I just think "Meh. Party on people!" and move on. SO liberating..

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Original poster
Amrapaali · 20/12/2021 16:45

@CMOTDibbler sorry to hear about your parents Flowers

Who doesn't send a simple text of condolence? Just a little "Thinking of you. Hope you are okay". These people make me so angry. Were they brought up in a lab or something? Angry

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motheroflions · 20/12/2021 16:48

[quote gorgeousbimbam]@motheroflions I totally agree. And with working and the children I don't know when I'll have the time and space to ever recover. I feel really scared that this is it until I am somehow signed off work for months, resignor something else drastic even though we can't afford for me to not work. I just don't know how to recover and can't believe that I'm still totally crushed by the events that were a long time ago now. Flowers for you[/quote]
I fee exactly the same. And yes finding time to recover - when? I feel like I need to get in bed and sleep for a very long time. Flowers

DaisyNGO · 20/12/2021 17:39

I also have a lot less patience
I've just had mum on the phone banging on about croissants and what she couldn't get in the shop.

I now just listen and then say "can I go now?"

Sausage222 · 22/12/2021 10:11

We all seem to have similar thoughts… can you imagine going back to how you were? It has this changed your permanently?

Enzbear · 22/12/2021 10:21

Took some things like holidays abroad for granted.
Before I would be completely Hmm about conspiracy theories but on this occasion I now think there is definitely something 'off'
Appreciate even more than I did before, how lucky I am to have my DH, ds and friends. Wouldn't have survived without them.

poinet · 22/12/2021 10:26

In 2019 I was happy, woke up excited (despite not living a very exciting life) had people I could turn to. I found joy in everything.
The last two years have successfully beaten it out of me. At one point I was suicidal, I'm only here because of DC and DCats. Have isolated myself from the world and have no desire to rejoin it.

changingstages · 22/12/2021 10:53

Yes, for good and bad.

I'm much more aware of what's important to me. Less likely to do things for the sake of it, but because I really want to or because they will be really useful. Also I appreciate some things much, much more - dancing with other people was one thing I was quite surprised to realise I really missed and I went to a wonderful party a few months ago where I danced with my friends until the early hours and it was such a pure joy.

On a less positive note, I feel, most of the time, very dulled by it all. And when things are bad or uncertain my concentration levels are awful. I'm still to put enormous amounts of brainpower and extra hours into work projects which used to be fine but these last few months I have struggled terribly to multi task properly and have found some deadlines almost impossible.

Original poster
Amrapaali · 22/12/2021 12:23

Yes agree with feeling of dullness. Like a blunt knife. Getting harder and harder to find the spark

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