Has the pandemic changed your personality?

[Amrapaali]

After two years, I look back and see I have become more blase and nihilistic. In 2019, I would have described myself as upbeat and optimistic. I am still cheerful enough but have become cynical and more hard-headed about things.

On the plus side, I am not shy or reticent any more. I used to be painfully self-conscious and think thrice before talking about anything to anyone. Now I am more outgoing. I was confident pre-pandemic but down the line I have grown more into this confidence, become more easy in my skin.

No idea why- more time spent at home in my own company? Or just become more gobby cos desperate for social interaction? Or probably a combination of old age, peri-menopause and thinking "sod it . Life is too short. I don't care what anyone thinks about me"

Anyway I like it and hopefully these traits hang around way past the pandemic.

Have you changed at all? Personality-wise?

I certainly have less patience for flakey friends. If you don’t bring me joy you’re gone! Life to short for messing round with obligations when you don’t want go or see anyone.

Yes, it has made me more grateful.
This pandemic has had very little effect on me, mentally, physically and emotionally, so l am lucky.

Lost lots of friends but am happier! Those I've lost were parents of friends of the children from primary school and I should have faded them a long time ago. Those I have left are much nicer.

I don't think it has, but I do get very cross about pandemic-related issues - mask refusers, vaccine avoiders, Covid deniers.

I think I've become very blank and nothingy.
I could feel myself shutting down to everything except immediate family when the first lockdown was announced and don't know how to reopen myself.
I don't know how to make plans for things anymore, but I'm so blank that it doesn't bother me!

@Moonface123 that is very interesting. So you reckon you are the same person today that you were in say, late 2019?

@CMOTDibbler

And not just being a dick about it, but if people didn't send me a text/personal message/card when both my parents died within 30 days of each other, y'know, I don't owe them anything

That terrible Dibbler! How dreadful of them. The thing is, they won't even realise how you feel.

I too lost my parents within a month of each other in the pandemic, but everyone who knew did send me their thoughts by some means or other. However, last Christmas I realised there were 9 people (more distant friends) whom I hadn't informed, so I enclosed a letter with their Christmas card. Seven of them acknowledged the news in one way or another. The other two didn't - and this year have just sent the usual card with we are so well hope you are too. I simply can't think the same of them I'm afraid. There is no way I couldn't have contacted someone giving me news like that.

As for my personality change - well I think it has exacerbated those parts of my personality which made me less sociable. I always did have shopping deliveries - well whatever I could delivered as I hate going shopping - but now I even pay the window cleaner and the milkman via bank transfer so have even less personal contact. I get a hairdresser to come to my house to cut my hair. I think I'm becoming even more of a recluse than before and the pandemic has enabled me.

I have never been worried about offending anyone, and I will speak my mind.

Now i tend to love winding someone up for the sake of seeing them getting offended 😂😂

@MrsDThomas

I have never been worried about offending anyone, and I will speak my mind.

Now i tend to love winding someone up for the sake of seeing them getting offended 😂😂

And that's another reason I avoid people though not much gets a reaction from me tbh.

I can feel myself changing even more than when I posted here before!

Got a Christmas card from someone saying "would you be up for a walk in the park, I'm trying to go back to normality a little bit".

Just thought, no, fuck off. You can have your house refurbed but wouldn't meet indoors in summer?

To quote from a different thread - you don't pay my rent 😂

I expect less of people, as in, it no longer surprises me in the slightest when they are thoughtless or selfish. So many of my family and friends have shown themselves to be only interested in supportive relationships going one way.
I have a greater appreciation than ever of people who are just good company and are prepared to make an effort to spend time with others. Conversely, I can’t be bothered at all with those who bang on about “their little family”- they can stew in their own juice and continue to do so when they need help. They won’t be getting it.
I’ve learned that I am more resourceful and self-reliant than I thought, and that this is an incredible shield against unhappiness.
And there is a very small number of people in my life who are truly wonderful, and I am incredibly fortunate to know them.

I'm just tired. Physically, emotionally and mentally tired. I'm a nurse and have worked throughout the pandemic and will continue to do so. I had the misfortune of getting infected with the virus in January and I have symptoms of long covid which affect me daily. Aching, swollen joints, heartburn, wheezing, fatigue and overwhelming anger at times - I am not, and never have been, an angry person.

So yes, I am no longer the funny smart woman I was and I miss her.

Yes. Not in a good way. I’ve become a lot more introverted and have a low mood a lot of the time. I miss my old life desperately and it is probably never coming back.

I am more resilient, quicker to laugh and full of gratitude for what I do have.

But I’m very angry with those in power. My swearing has probably got worse too.

I don’t think I have much to give anymore. I’ve been used up. Before covid I had had a really tough decade, my daughter died, my mum died, I nearly died, two of my kids were diagnosed with autism. Friends fell away. I was diagnosed with a few pretty yucky chronic autoimmune conditions. My partner proved himself to be someone I can’t turn to or trust again, although we are still together.
So all this fuss over wearing masks etc that some people I know have made just makes them seem silly really. We don’t get to pick and choose our life. And for lots of us much of it is pretty difficult. I don’t want to compare, that’s not what I mean, but it has shown a gulf of lived experience that’s difficult to bridge at times.
As a consequence I’m quieter. I don’t feel the need for any drama, I don’t engage with it at all, and that confuses people who are genuinely surprised their nice life has gone a bit tits up, and who need to shout about it and push against it. I understand their need, but I feel like I’ve been in chaos and uncertainty for a while, so maybe it confuses me people are so surprised when life turns upside down.
On the up side, my kids are gorgeous, I have a lockdown veg patch, and I know I actually like and trust my small group of friends. And I know where my edges are. Sometimes I’m unexpectedly happy, I really see beauty again, usually in nature. When I can I will travel again. That’s plenty.

Not really, if I'm honest. If anything, lockdowns and social distancing have enabled my existing introverted and anti-social tendencies to thrive unchallenged.

Yes, I realised while I love some of the flexibility and ease of WFh, I really need to socialise in person.
I also don’t want my entire life to revolve around work and need to explore my interests - first time I’ve realised this in about 20 years.

@ArblemarzipanTFruitcake

Not really, if I'm honest. If anything, lockdowns and social distancing have enabled my existing introverted and anti-social tendencies to thrive unchallenged.

This is how I feel too.

It hasn't changed my basic personality and I've pretty much always found most other humans exasperating anyway. I have deliberately stopped contact with several people who have displayed particularly selfish or entitled behaviour over the last couple of years though and at least two more drama llamas with views so different from mine they might as well be aliens will be disappearing from my social circle this year. I can't make them understand the consequences of their actions so the easiest option is to remove them from my life.

I already had made a lot of adjustments anyway though. I hate crowds, most shopping and noise, so we already got most things delivered, and I already was mainly working from home and making extensive use of IT to do so.

What has been interesting is watching rampant extroverts suddenly struggling with the world when for 40 odd years of my life I was expected to just put up with the world they created and was criticised when I struggled.

I will never forget walking along the seafront where we live (small seaside town, far from wealthy) in lockdown one and being astonished at how incredibly clean the air smelled suddenly.

I have lots of sympathy for many of those who have lost livelihoods in the pandemic but I am also even more furious and contemptuous than before at the obscene self entitled wealth of those raking it in at the top of the pyramid and not giving back to society.

I'm less optomistic and more cynical.
I became very angry at the injustice and lack of logic of many rules and the social costs of them. I then became very numb and lost all ability to look forwards to things and feel excitement. That has crept back somewhat since August but is currently fragile again.

I need other people but it's socially hard to get going again. I'm at the stage of life where my social life was hardly dynamic, but it's really hard to get those embers going again.

My soul feels starved without practical ways to nourish it.

I am more negative and have lower empathy levels. More angry and irritated generally.

My young adult daughter has. Yesterday she announced:

"I am SO done with caring what people think of me".

Which is a huge turnaround for someone who, until fairly recently, suffered from chronic anxiety and was a desperate people-pleaser.

I feel like the lights have been dimmed for months on end. I miss adventures and exploring and planning.

The relentless disappointments have been really hard to deal with.

I don't think permanent working from home has done anything good for workplace relationships either. It's created virtual cliques and made it so difficult for new people to integrate and learn. Fine if you're established in your career, rubbish if you're just starting out.

@BogRollBOGOF you've put that perfectly

I have a bit. Before I was happy to stay indoors and let things pass me by. Now I'm more likely to go to stuff and make the most of things. I had very bad anxiety at the start of the pandemic and I challenged that by arranging my own wedding. We got married in September. I think I have become a bit more of a people though because I'm scared of being lonely.