Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Someone somewhere needs to articulate the lost quality of life

732 replies

Gguin · 17/12/2021 15:18

Firstly, I am not saying I think there shouldn't be restrictions as needed, masks, reduced social contact. I do. Just to reemphasise that, to prevent people misreading the title, I support and abide and have abided by restrictions, both statutory and advised.
I also hated every single second of the lockdown. I hated what it did to friends. I hated the disregard of single people. I hated the criminalisation of social lives. I hated the lost opportunities for young and not so young people to build or change their lives. I hated the paranoia and judgmentalism. I hated the NHS worship and everyone else can go hang.
And yes I hate this feeling, somewhere between anxiety, depression and a grinding underlying fear of future regret on all that has been lost. I drove past a pub in rural Ireland where I live today and it was shut, boarded up and probably will never reopen. The sign "craic agus ceoil" (laughter and music) was worn and frayed, like a relic of the times when we were able to enjoy themselves with abandon.
All I would like as the latest chapter of shit unfolds is for someone, somewhere to actually articulate the sadness of all the lost opportunities. The friends that have never been made, the months and years spent indoors, the catastrophic toll on mental health and above all this awful feeling that the many of the very things that make life worth living are so expendable and in some quarters, not even mourned.

OP posts:
Lesina · 17/12/2021 15:22

Couldn't agree more. The lockdowns and the on going threat of future restrictions has taken an immense toll on society. I think that the damage that has been done will reach many years into the future. It is an incredibly sad thing.

Newgirls · 17/12/2021 15:24

Agree

I think not having a government we can trust has compounded the feelings we all have. Other countries have been more united in their approach. Ours has added to the stress and drama.

AnyFucker · 17/12/2021 15:27

Totally agree

Take a photo of that sad, dilapidated pub sign. It sums up where we are. What is harder to encapsulate is how the fuck we got here.

LadyIckenham · 17/12/2021 15:27

Absolutely agree.

Can I add to your list the emphasis on children being 'resilient'. They really need the opportunity to be sad for the things they have lost.

It also bothers me how much I try to stop them looking forward to things in case they don't happen.

Someone really does need to articulate it.

VikingOnTheFridge · 17/12/2021 15:32

@LadyIckenham

Absolutely agree.

Can I add to your list the emphasis on children being 'resilient'. They really need the opportunity to be sad for the things they have lost.

It also bothers me how much I try to stop them looking forward to things in case they don't happen.

Someone really does need to articulate it.

Yes, anyone still bleating on about children being resilient is beneath contempt.
freshcarnation · 17/12/2021 15:33

Yes

secretllama · 17/12/2021 15:36

Agree. I hate people speaking for me that "as long as we're healthy thats the main thing". Just no. It isn't the main thing to me if it means at the detriment to all the things you've mentioned.

QuentininQuarantino · 17/12/2021 15:37

Absolutely agree with every word you have said. Also we’re the family abroad so the isolation and lost familial relationships make my heads ache. Watching m‘y nieces lovely connection with my parents when my own dc have barely met them hurts like hell.

EileenGC · 17/12/2021 15:43

I support and abide and have abided by restrictions, both statutory and advised.

I also hated every single second of the lockdown.

Perfectly said OP. I agree, I’m a big supporter of all the measures brought in to try and resolve this situation as quickly as possible, but I’ve come to allow myself the need to feel sad and mourn everything we lost and were prevented from doing.

It’s just not the same anymore, and the solution isn’t just lifting restrictions, which I’d absolutely love. We need to talk about what has happened and how it has affected us. Even those who haven’t experienced the death of a loved one, those who kept their job and are still healthy… people have suffered in so many more ways, and for some the trauma is real and all-encompassing.

CorrBlimeyGG · 17/12/2021 15:45

I hated the NHS worship and everyone else can go hang.

I hated that everyone fell for the clapping shite. The government did fuck all to help NHS workers, but stand on the doorstep for five minutes once a week yomping like a seal and all is forgiven! I think it made a fair few Tory voters feel better about themselves too, that and donating a fiver to some old bloke walking round his garden.

IcedPurple · 17/12/2021 16:01

Yes I agree. There is an air of tension, uncertainty and lack of spontaneity in everything nowadays. My life of less than 2 years ago, when I used to travel internationally every few months, meet up with friends casually, enjoy a bit of banter at work, and where people just seemed to be able to enjoy life, now seems such a very long way in the past.

Maybe these 'measures' have been necessary, but let's not pretend they haven't come at enormous cost.

Bonheurdupasse · 17/12/2021 16:02

Agree agree agree

ForensicFlossy · 17/12/2021 16:02

100% agree

Frederica852 · 17/12/2021 16:04

You've just put into words everything I've felt since this all started but couldn't work out how to explain
Thank you

Cyw2018 · 17/12/2021 16:06

During last winters lockdown, at the start my DD (3 last Feb) would wake up in the morning and ask what we were doing, playgroup/swimming/softplay/zoo/playdate etc, it would break my heart having to say no, no, no over and over again to her totally reasonable request, until eventually after several weeks, she just gave up asking Sad

FourTeaFallOut · 17/12/2021 16:08

Agreed. I think the measures to date were necessary but the cost was enormous but not evenly distributed across society.

I think we should be able to talk about it without accusations of speaking in bad faith.

AnyFucker · 17/12/2021 16:12

What we have all lost brings me to tears and it is certainly true it has not been equitable across the board

wizzyblue · 17/12/2021 16:14

Agree. I have never suffered with my mental health - but the last couple of months feel like something has shifted in me and I just feel sad and anxious about anything and everything and wondering when it's all going to end.

There was a "Thank you NHS" sign I used to pass everyday painted in bright colours which has gradually faded, peeled and the corners have detached, it just looks sad. I feel like that's what life is like now - faded and sad.

vickyc90 · 17/12/2021 16:19

Totally agree I've gave up caring about COVID but my resilience and resolve has just gone. What's the point on getting up everyday and going out to work if we can't spend the money and enjoy life. I would rather have a short happy life than live to my 80s avoiding COVID

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 17/12/2021 16:20

Oh I hear you completely OP! It makes me desperately sad. There are children growing up now who can't remember life pre-Covid.

It feels like all the little things that make life joyful have been taken away from us.

LookslovelyinSpringtime · 17/12/2021 16:24

I feel the same.

movehimintothesun · 17/12/2021 16:25

Totally agree with you OP, you have summed the overriding feeling of... hopelessness? Apathy? up well. 🤗

DobbyTheHouseElk · 17/12/2021 16:26

AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY

I feel we are living a strange half live. We get to do all the shitty things. But the fun things have all gone.

No one in the Dobby house wants to put up the Christmas tree because it’s a sign of another Christmas not spent having fun and relaxing.

I weep for my children who had everything taken away and now are scared to be near other people.

I weep for my parents who were so social and have become isolated and elderly, my sibling abroad who is trapped in country and can’t get home.

My niece and nephews who no longer know who I am, I’m a floating head on the iPad.

I weep for my friends who no longer want to come in for a coffee, we have odd conversations on the doorstep and speak about meeting up “properly soon”

I weep for family members who no longer want big gatherings in their homes and have cancelled all the big family parties.

I weep for everyone in the world who’s lives have changed and no one seems to think it matters as long as we are “safe”

IcedPurple · 17/12/2021 16:28

@GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal

Oh I hear you completely OP! It makes me desperately sad. There are children growing up now who can't remember life pre-Covid.

It feels like all the little things that make life joyful have been taken away from us.

Not only the little things.

Life now is just about staying 'safe' and 'protecting' the health service. Normal human interaction and behaviour has literally been criminalised. And the not so merry go round of restrictions, relaxations, then more restrictions, is so draining after nearly 2 years. Even when you're free to enjoy certain 'non-essential' activities, you never know when they'll be taken away from you again.

Tamtam86 · 17/12/2021 16:34

TOTALLY AGREE. It really breaks my heart to think about everything we have lost.