Someone somewhere needs to articulate the lost quality of life

[Gguin]

Firstly, I am not saying I think there shouldn't be restrictions as needed, masks, reduced social contact. I do. Just to reemphasise that, to prevent people misreading the title, I support and abide and have abided by restrictions, both statutory and advised.
I also hated every single second of the lockdown. I hated what it did to friends. I hated the disregard of single people. I hated the criminalisation of social lives. I hated the lost opportunities for young and not so young people to build or change their lives. I hated the paranoia and judgmentalism. I hated the NHS worship and everyone else can go hang.
And yes I hate this feeling, somewhere between anxiety, depression and a grinding underlying fear of future regret on all that has been lost. I drove past a pub in rural Ireland where I live today and it was shut, boarded up and probably will never reopen. The sign "craic agus ceoil" (laughter and music) was worn and frayed, like a relic of the times when we were able to enjoy themselves with abandon.
All I would like as the latest chapter of shit unfolds is for someone, somewhere to actually articulate the sadness of all the lost opportunities. The friends that have never been made, the months and years spent indoors, the catastrophic toll on mental health and above all this awful feeling that the many of the very things that make life worth living are so expendable and in some quarters, not even mourned.

I agree totally and feel this needs to be acknowledged more widely.

Spot on OP. You articulated what I've been feeling and thinking perfectly so thankyou.x

Just, yes. Yes, yes, yes.

My favourite bar has never reopened. It closed at the end of March 2020 and not only did it never reopen, the inside of it is frozen in time. The staff clearly didn't clear up on the last night it was open, when me and DH were there. The beers we drank are still on the blackboard and the glasses we drank out of are still on the table we sat at.

Of course it was already quite frayed and tense by then. But every time we walk past we look in and remember all the brilliant times we had there - all the pre and post gig drinks, meeting new people, works drinks, Christmas Saturday afternoon cocktails. It sums up everything we've lost somehow.

You are spot on. I'm heartbroken. It's exhausting. I'm wrestling with fear about going down to London on the train tomorrow to visit family. I was so looking forward to it. All the fun and spontaneity once again being sucked out of life, to be replaced by gnawing fear, guilt anxiety. Fed up with it I am!

Can I add to your list the emphasis on children being 'resilient'. They really need the opportunity to be sad for the things they have lost.

Well said.

It’s all mentally very draining

Of course it was already quite frayed and tense by then. But every time we walk past we look in and remember all the brilliant times we had there - all the pre and post gig drinks, meeting new people, works drinks, Christmas Saturday afternoon cocktails. It sums up everything we've lost somehow.

It's like a different world. Not surrounded by aggressive yellow posters, no one way systems or worrying about if you could sit here, or if you had to wear a mask there, or if you were 'allowed' to 'mix' with other groups.

Like I said, maybe all this has been necessary. But the cost is enormous, and not easy to calculate.

I think there are no guarantees in life. We are tiny things on a tiny planet in infinity. We are exceedingly lucky that we have what we actually do and its far from total shit, so I don't agree, OP. But I can understand people feeling as you do, for sure. It's just that my brain works in odd ways!

YANBU. The spontaneity has gone out of absolutely everything. And paradoxically, planning for the future has also gone out of the window.

its far from total shit

That's where you're wrong.

The world changes all the time. No point longing for a past that has gone. Obviously the pandemic will be over, but it will never be "2019" again. 2019 is a world that no longer exists.

I agree.

It's like a different world.

The time before now seems so carefree.

It’s all so shit isn’t it? I’m double vaccinated and will be getting my booster next week but where I live I’ll still need to isolate for a week if I’m even in a restaurant or cafe at the same time as a positive case. I have leave and can do some work from home but not everyone is in that position,

I was slightly apprehensive about going to my work Christmas lunch but do you know what? It was fucking awesome. We laughed so much and did shots at the end of the meal. Then went for cocktails after. The staff at the restaurant weren’t wearing masks (against regulations) and I didn’t even care. In fact I was secretly happy about it because for a few hours we could forget the pandemic existed. Had to much to drink and had a splitting headache by the time I got home but I regret nothing

It is stressful , the carefree days are gone now :(
It is sad and I do feel for those who work in hospitality who were hoping for a normal Christmas and to make some money too
I feel a bit down and not at all christmassy !

You’ve put it very well. I have been thinking the same, and I’ve abided by every rule. Had covid twice. I just feel like the joy has been sucked out of life; all I do is work, cook, clean. None of the pleasures I used to enjoy really. I don’t want covid again and I don’t relax when I’m in indoor groups, especially now with Omicron. I have been trying to think of mentally consuming enjoyable activities to keep me busy over the Christmas break since I will no longer be seeing my family. Things like getting back into practising a musical instrument , a craft project, etc etc.

I’ve been waiting for creative types to produce something to encapsulate these strange times we’re living through. I can only think of Banksy’s recent work.

Where are the equivalent of the 80s comedians who laid into Thatcher? Spitting image is still going but not mainstream now.

We only have distraction entertainment like Strictly and IACGMOOH

Perhaps it’s just too depressing?!

My sadness isn't so much at what we've lost because we will get it back, it's at the fact that our young children think this is normal. Even my 8 year old can barely remember pre-covid times. His school recently had their Christmas concert. Each class did their bit seperately to avoid mingling and had it recorded and then they were all spliced together to look like a full school consert and the video was sent out to parents. He can't remember what it feels like to perform in front of an actual audience.

@Newgirls

Agree

I think not having a government we can trust has compounded the feelings we all have. Other countries have been more united in their approach. Ours has added to the stress and drama.

There have been riots in lots of countries because of government decisions.

I am fed up of this government for many reasons, but most other governments have not had it easy.

I agree with a lot of what you say, OP. But I can't help but also think of the lives saved by the measures that have (in my view necessarily) been taken. The loved ones I might have lost who are still here.

And I'm grateful that I am still here too. Six months into covid I was diagnosed with cancer. Still having treatment now. So grateful the NHS has been able to treat me. It's been pretty tough on my primary aged kids in particular, as you can imagine.

I find it hard to read people saying that all the little things that make life joyful have been taken, that is way ott imo! It's a really, really difficult time for sure but there is still joy, hope, love, kidness. Music and laughter can still be found. I'm not sure anyone wants my advice, but for what it is worth: find that joy if you can x

Agree 100% I'm an in full fuck it mode right now. To the point I've quite at peace with myself that I'd rather live life properly for a few weeks than live longer for this utter shite. Because this isn't living its just existing.

Also we’re the family abroad so the isolation and lost familial relationships make my heads ache. Watching m‘y nieces lovely connection with my parents when my own dc have barely met them hurts like hell.

This. Its awful isn't it? I have a niece and nephew back home who I have never met. Nearly every weekend my parents go to see them and they will have Christmas together. I feel like me dh and dd just aren't part of that family anymore

Can we never mention the bloody world wars again, or the Blitz?

Completely agree. It's little things like never having had the housewarming we wanted because we moved just before lockdown, or not making the most of being able to enjoy the bars and restaurants or cinemas etc in our new town. But also big things like my child never having had a year of school without Covid restrictions, limitations and testing etc.

It hasn't been a pause, we've really lost the last 2 years and we won't get them back ever. I think you've articulated the sadness about how expendable they've seemed really well.

Also agree with a PP about distrust in the govt making it all the more bitter