Don't understand this attitude

[bigbabs]

Was having a chat with a colleague about Christmas plans and they said with a little smirk that they just weren't going to test before going to their family for Christmas even though several attending are older, vulnerable relatives.

I was a bit taken aback. Colleague got very defensive, said we can't live like this forever and that I need to 'give my head a wobble and stop being controlled.'

In this situation surely the only people you are cheating are your family. If you've put yourself at risk in the days or weeks before Christmas then make a conscious choice not to take a test just because the result may well be positive, you aren't be clever or rebellious. And if you do end up testing positive afterwards and giving it to an elderly relatives how do you square that with yourself morally?

Like everyone I am sick of the restrictions but when it comes to keeping people safe, especially my own family, I will try and do it even if that means missing out. Is she right or am I missing something?

Just don't engage.

There is something to be said for "people are so afraid of dying, they've stopped living". It's been almost two years now. But everybody's circumstances and risk profile are different. There isn't much point in testing tbh if a person is determined not to abide by the result.

@VikingOnTheFridge way in the wrong? How? I didn't challenge her or tell her she was wrong. We simply were discussing our plans and I said intended to test. If anything it was her who became rude and offensive. But that's usually the case with people who do this sort of thing.

Im as sick of this as everyone else but surely the sensible thing would be do a simple test so that everyone involved can make an informed decision. It the people at risk would rather not know then that's different. I'm not sure I'd be able to relax personally though.

Surely it’s up to the vulnerable members of a family to ask people to test. I’m not testing, I don’t want to know if every sniffle is covid

[quote bigbabs]@VikingOnTheFridge way in the wrong? How? I didn't challenge her or tell her she was wrong. We simply were discussing our plans and I said intended to test. If anything it was her who became rude and offensive. But that's usually the case with people who do this sort of thing.

Im as sick of this as everyone else but surely the sensible thing would be do a simple test so that everyone involved can make an informed decision. It the people at risk would rather not know then that's different. I'm not sure I'd be able to relax personally though. [/quote]
You have said you were taken aback, and that your colleague was defensive. You evidently conveyed your attitude or she'd have nothing to be defensive about. And you were all the way in the wrong to imagine you're better placed than this family, despite not having all the information, to decide what's best for the vulnerable members. That is, the whole basis of this thread. It's good that you now sort of admit it would be different if the family members prefer this, but you had no business making the assumption in the first place.

@Flaxmeadow

...my elderly and confused relatives are saying to us ATM, just come on over, and they even say we can go in the house. But NO WAY, even after LFT are we going to get anywhere near them. We will probably deliver presents into the garden and even then, we are nervous about doing that

Well that's sad.

I do tests but I know my parents in their 70s won't as they said they've had their jabs and they can't be bothered with testing. They can't understand the instructions and my dad said it's all too complicated for him.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Do people actually say “give your head a wobble” - missing point entirely

Thought the same

@Thewiseoneincognito

The I don’t see the point of testing and I don’t test echo chamber strikes again I see.

Hi Hester and Pootle 👋🏼

I have literally never said either of those things. I had Covid in August and I found out because I tested. I had a cold last week and was due to go on a Christmas meal so I tested. It was negative so I went.

Stop making things up.

Hester you went for dinner with a cold?

A pp said they don't test every sniffle. We do, but don't use tests when feeling 100%. Elderly parents don't mind, have never tested and are all triple jabbed.

Yes I did. It was a mild one. I'd had Covid a couple of months before. The tests came back negative. And no one there has had Covid since.

@VikingOnTheFridge she has a lot to be defensive about. The smirk, instant insult and personal attack on my views says a lot. Of course im not better placed than her to say what the dynamic of her family is. It's totally their choice.

Just like you're not better placed than me to talk about how I 'evidently conveyed my attitude'. I was there. You weren't.

I disagree with her views and she clearly disagrees with mine.

[quote bigbabs]@VikingOnTheFridge she has a lot to be defensive about. The smirk, instant insult and personal attack on my views says a lot. Of course im not better placed than her to say what the dynamic of her family is. It's totally their choice.

Just like you're not better placed than me to talk about how I 'evidently conveyed my attitude'. I was there. You weren't.

I disagree with her views and she clearly disagrees with mine. [/quote]
The entire premise of this thread was you thinking you were better placed than her to assess her family dynamics. You're now saying you aren't, which is good, but in that case what is your disagreement with her views?

As for not being placed to talk about conveying your attitude, the fact that you felt moved to start such an arrogant thread and it had to be spelled out to you why you were completely overstepping is very telling. But yeah, sure, you managed to conceal every bit of that face to face and it was all her...

Is she not testing "in case she gets a positive"? (Implied: She thinks she might) Or is she just not testing because she doesn't routinely test/doesn't think it would be positive anyway so what is the point?

Those are different things. The first I can see is a selfish and irresponsible attitude, which might be hard to understand. The second is just a difference in approach, it might be hard to understand if you find it hard to understand that people have different thought processes in general

@HesterShaw1

Yes I did. It was a mild one. I'd had Covid a couple of months before. The tests came back negative. And no one there has had Covid since.

I wish people would stay home with colds when possible, but I guess it depends what you mean by mild.

Yes it does. By mild I mean it was the remains of a runny nose and a few sneezes.

If people stayed in every winter (or summer) every time this happened, no one would ever go out.

It's discriminatory and should not be allowed.

@RavingAnnie

It's discriminatory and should not be allowed.

Here ends the thread 😂

I have never tested before meeting someone and don't plan to.

I would imagine most of the British public doesn't eithier contrary to what people say on this thread.

In going to test with the hopes of getting out of family gatherings if that makes you feel better

@Horst

In going to test with the hopes of getting out of family gatherings if that makes you feel better

Apparently there's some trick with lemon juice for that situation!