Called stupid for cancelling plans. Am I?

[SonofAGum]

DH and I are supposed to be meeting up with friends tomorrow evening with our DC. There are covid cases in my DC primary school. DH is clinically vulnerable (not extremely).

Our friends also have DC with cases in school. They are carrying on as normal and are meeting with various households over the coming weeks. Understandably.

Last year, one of my DC had covid and we were in isolation over the entire Christmas period. I’d prefer not to have a repeat.

We have expressed a wish to change our plans until DH has been boosted over the weekend and so we don’t have to risk isolation. Friends are not happy and have said we are being stupid. I’m now second guessing our decision.

Should we just go?

It takes 10 to 14 days for your body’s immune response to the vaccine to work.

No, you’re not being silly. You are being very sensible.

Don’t go OP. Ignore what they say, they’re the stupid ones and probably not really great friends?

@TheKeatingFive

Do what's right for you, accept that others will have a different view.

That's the advice OP's 'friends' need to take.

They sound rude. Particularly as your DH is CV. Even if he wasn't, it's sensible not stupid being cautious.

It's your choice over what level of risk you're comfortable with. Real friends would respect that.

Given their attitude OP, I'd definitely prioritise the Boxing Day event over meeting up with these so called friends.

Well if they are going to call you stupid then I'd not call them friends any more tbh..

It's ok to trust your gut instinct on this one. We potentially have a few weeks of madness ahead, I feel it's better to be out of it and safe. I just went out with friends a few nights ago but am cancelling things now. 1-2 weeks after being boosted I'll relax a lot more. And even in a couple of weeks time we'll know a lot more and hopefully be able to see this variant really is more mild.

@Tealightsandd - absolutely agree.

And no you are not. I know 4 different people (not in same family etc) doing PCR tests and hoping they are OK for christmas. It is so stressful for them.

If someone called me stupid, I don't think I'd want to be friends!

I’ve bailed out of my work Xmas do tomorrow night. I’m not really worried about actually being ill (I’ve had Covid and was lucky to have it very mildly), just worried about getting it and having to isolate over Xmas which would ruin our plans. I’ve still got to work right up till Xmas day, but other than that, I’m avoiding seeing people just to keep Xmas itself safe. Once Xmas is done, I’ll be happy to start mixing again.

Everyone has different levels of acceptable risk depending on their own unique circumstances and feelings. Your friends are very stupid to not understand this.

I wouldn't be happy if a friend cancelled the day before, or did you cancel earlier in the week? You'd also have to postpone until new year if having a jab at the weekend.

Nobody is stupid for doing what they think is right in these sort of situations. People who are stupid are those who:

• go along with things they don't agree with because of what other people say
• try to guilt others in to doing what they're not comfortable with

Do whatever is best for your family. Ignore friends opinions.

you are not stupid and they are unpleasant and unreasonable "friends"

You really need to do what's right for you. We have now have plans to see five lots before Xmas and four Xmas day/after. Currently looking at what we can make safer/cancel. Just suggested a distanced walk with one lot, they agreed straight away. DH thinking it's not a good idea to see his three siblings and family after Xmas as well.

Sympathies. I got called a 'snowflake' by my DH because I don't want to go shopping in the nearest big city this weekend.

Shopping - the last weekend before Christmas - wouldn't be my cup of tea at the best of times, but not during a pandemic and with a 40 min train journey there and back. Cases are still quite low where I am up north but no point in taking pointless risks.

I've told him if he wants to go he's on his own.

Sympathies. I got called a 'snowflake' by my DH because I don't want to go shopping in the nearest big city this weekend. how nasty!

Everyone I know is cancelling stuff for exactly the reason you mention- not so much fear of covid as fear of screwing up Christmas for themselves. It's literally what Chris Whitty is telling people to do.

Obviously personal choice but absolutely a reasonable one.

@Bubblty

Sympathies. I got called a 'snowflake' by my DH because I don't want to go shopping in the nearest big city this weekend. how nasty!

Yes, I was very pissed off! If he goes and by any chance catches the virus, obviously I'll look after him but he won't be getting any sympathy!

I’m a fairly hardened life has to carry on person however I would never comment or call someone else’s choices stupid. It’s absolutely rife currently round here lots of people are being selective about plans. Your ‘friends’ don’t sound very nice.

Do what is right for YOU and anyone who calls you stupid is being unreasonable and unkind, particularly if your DH has vulnerabilities.

@ArblemarzipanTFruitcake I wouldn't. And I'd make it clear to him he's on his own isolating in our garage if he gets it.

No You are not stupid, it's better to be safe than sorry, you don't want to be Ill or spoil your Christmas. X