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Original poster

I'm not getting home for Christmas, am I?

103 replies

Opus17 · 27/11/2021 15:43

I know no one can actually answer this for me.

But I just want to go home for Christmas. I'm from the UK, live in the EU. I've followed all the rules, I was pregnant when covid hit, my son was born in summer 2020. I've stayed home, I've kept my distance, I've worn masks, I've accepted two trips home being cancelled, I've understood it was necessary. I haven't seen my family in 2 and a half years (only my mum once). The rest of my family haven't met my son (16 months). I want to go home. I want to hug my family. I want them to meet my son. I feel teary at the thought of this new variant stopping me from being on that plane in 3 weeks.
I have friends but none of them live here (three very good friends moved away just before the pandemic within a year of each other). I just miss being around my family / friends, it's starting to really get me down now and whenever someone mentions Christmas, I just get a lump in my stomach cause I won't get excited until I'm sitting on the plane.

I'm fully vaccinated. So is my husband. I still breastfeed, so my son should have some antibodies hopefully. We are isolating in the run up to our flight to keep us and everyone safe. We are being as responsible as we can because I'm desperate to come home. I just want to sit in my mum's living room and chat. I want to see my auntie and cousins and play stupid games. I want to visit my dad and his wife, my sister and my brothers. I know this might seem insignificant and silly with how serious the situation is, and I know this. But being apart from my family for so long is unusual and I guess I'm just struggling a bit now.

I've watched people fly all over the place to visit family or go on holiday, and it just seems ridiculously unfair that we could be in some sort of lockdown / have a travel ban when it's my turn. Yes, this all sounds very self-pity, but I promise I haven't been like this until now. I just feel ridiculously sad about it all.

We've had our flights booked for months, obviously if they weren't yet booked, I don't even know if we'd be booking with what's going on now. I'm buying some British treats for Christmas (quality street, matchmakers, mince pies, Christmas pudding) just in case we are stuck here again.

I just needed to get it out somewhere. Thank you for reading this far.

OP posts:
Fairylights25 · 28/11/2021 12:13

I think we all have much bigger things to worry about to be honest.

Kokeshi123 · 28/11/2021 12:24

The rest of my family haven't met my son (16 months). I want to go home. I want to hug my family. I want them to meet my son. I feel teary at the thought of this new variant stopping me from being on that plane in 3 weeks.

OP, I'd really think about just jumping on a plane now?
I know you said that you DH would have to come later due to work and there's a risk he might not be able to come at all by that point and then you and he would have Xmas separately.
But you and your DH will have so many Xmases together in all the years to come, and he has chances to be with your toddler and watch him growing up all the time.
Your own family will never get the opportunity to see your son at this age again.
Do you not think it might be worth the risk of spending Xmas without your husband (but with your family)? Have you talked to your husband about this? He might encourage you to go! Mine definitely would, if this was the situation. He'd want my parents to see their grandchild, and he'd be worried about my mental health.

Kokeshi123 · 28/11/2021 12:25

I think we all have much bigger things to worry about to be honest.

Piss off and go start your own thread about how people with family abroad are selfish, then. This thread is about the OP's situation.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 28/11/2021 13:14

I think we all have much bigger things to worry about to be honest.

I genuinely don't.

Schulte · 28/11/2021 13:51

Being able to see your loved ones is a HUGE thing. OP, I hope you find a way. Flowers

HeartvsBrain · 28/11/2021 14:06

Sorry Opus I have just seen this, and only had time to read your posts. I am a bit worried about you saying you might have to be away from your husband for a month if you come over here before your DH - surely it could turn into a lot longer than one month, depending on lock-downs etc? I wouldn't risk coming without my DH, but as long as you have thought about the risks of any worst case scenarios, and are sure that you would be ok with that, then you will be making an informed choice (presumably you would discuss all the possible ramifications with your DH, before reaching a decision).
Anyway, Good Luck Opus, I do hope that you can all come over, and that you have a wonderful time x

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 28/11/2021 15:07

@Fairylights25

I think we all have much bigger things to worry about to be honest.
Well piss off to another thread, or preferably off MN, & worry about them there then, instead of being nasty on here!

@Opus17. If I were you I'd get on the first flight I could with DS. Come & see your family!! I'd take the calculated risk that DH could come before Christmas, but if not, we'd cope. DS won't expect Daddy to be at your parents like he does at home. They can FaceTime etc. Your parents won't be around forever & they haven't met DS.. DH has had a lot of time with him & is much more likely to have many more years with him than your parents.

Personally I think the new variant will be everywhere in Europe at much the same time, so not a lot of point in closing the boarders. DH will be able to be much more flexible with his travel if there's only him coming too.

bwfcchick88 · 28/11/2021 15:37

Really feel for you. I haven't seen my dad since December 2019 so totally get where you're coming from.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 28/11/2021 17:21

Anyone living overseas needs to get used to the idea that winter trips just aren't going to happen, and visit in the summer instead

This is so insensitive
We lived, worked and travelled for many years in a global economy that ran partly on global mobility

No one could have predicted this , I certainly didn’t
No one I know did

For people to not appreciate or emphasise how battering it’s been for so many people to be totally unable to see loved ones

Did I know when I split with my ex that the kids would never see him ? No of course not
And I have to live with it , and a very upset child

Schulte · 28/11/2021 17:52

There are so many of us in similar situations and really suffering… how do people still not understand? This ‘it’s your own fault for moving abroad’ attitude is just awful. Being far away from family is already hard in normal times, let alone in a pandemic. Moving abroad is not some frivolity done on a whim fgs.

Schulte · 28/11/2021 17:53

@Thisisworsethananticpated sorry about your situation too SadFlowers

immersivereader · 28/11/2021 17:56

Same here mate. Live in Canada, cancelled two trips back to the UK since covid. 3 years since my family saw the kids.

Sucks.

LizzieSiddal · 28/11/2021 18:02

I can understand why the OP doesn’t want to come without her DH. What happens if she gets here and Germany announce they are closing the border with the UK? She might not get home for weeks/months.

OP it must be very hard but could you make firm plans for the summer? Infections rates will be much lower then, you’ll be guaranteed a holiday with your family.

happylittlevegemites · 28/11/2021 18:06

I have no words of wisdom, but lots of sympathy. Haven’t seen my parents in 2.5 years. We were hopeful they’ll be let out of Australia for a trip next year, but the new variant is making that seem less likely. I didn’t sign up for an ex-pat life that didn’t involve me being able to travel home.

SoftPillow · 28/11/2021 21:15

@Opus17

I was one of those ppl yesterday advising you to go early.

I found out today that my darling granny is dying. And I can't be with her. I haven't seen her since before Covid. How I wish I had gone, I was going to go next year if possible.

Please, go whilst you can, see you family. Give them a hug, a really big one.

BrilloSolar · 28/11/2021 22:57

@Lottapianos Is there more going on within your family in Ireland that means you've not seen them in 2 years? Like extremely vulnerable family members?

Because we're a family split across England and Ireland and we've travelled across both ways a number of times in the last 2 years. Not at the very height of lockdown, but certainly inbetween.

Lottapianos · 29/11/2021 09:54

Brillo, the spring and summer this year was taken up by my in laws both being very ill and then FIL dying. We decided to visit my family for Christmas so didnt arrange to visit this Autumn. They don't visit us, it's always down to us to travel to Ireland

I don't think it's that unusual, several people on this thread said they haven't seen family for a similar length of time. I'm feeling pretty sick at the thought of it not happening though

ColinTheKoala · 29/11/2021 09:57

What happens if she gets here and Germany announce they are closing the border with the UK

there will probably be another way around, eg via Ireland. I would take the chance and go.

Fairylights25 · 29/11/2021 10:38

I can't see the point in ANY borders being closed, the new variant is everywhere already. We appear to be months behind its spread.

If the vaccines hold out, we could be fine in a week or two
If the variant turns out to be a milder form of covid and unlikely to cause a problem we could be fine in a week or two.

It is too early to panic, there are still plenty of reasons to hope we can all still travel.

Caspianberg · 29/11/2021 10:42

The boarders don’t actually close btw. Well they didn’t the last lockdowns. They close to tourists, but for op she will be no doubt a British citizen and a German resident so travel between uk and German is possible as she has a permanent right to be in either country. I looked this up because my mother was very ill during first lockdown and Ds was only 3 weeks old when I potentially had to travel. The embassy said they would have granted emergency travel documents for Ds who had no passport yet if we had needed, we would have just had to quarantine both ends of travel

Schulte · 29/11/2021 12:54

That’s good to know, thank you. And I agree all these calls for stricter border measures are futile if we already have the variant spreading in the community.

the80sweregreat · 29/11/2021 12:57

Even if this new variant evades the vaccines , if it is only mild and less symptoms than delta and people are not ending up in hospital etc then this might not the Armageddon that some are predicting ?
I'm living in hope here !
I guess it's just a waiting game for a few weeks

roses2 · 29/11/2021 13:07

I guess it's just a waiting game for a few weeks

The problem is in 2-3 weeks everyone who has family abroad is jetting off to see them and can't wait until the day before to change their ticket and re-book. People with travel plans need to know ideally 1-2 weeks before 18th December when peak travel starts.

Lottapianos · 29/11/2021 13:22

'The problem is in 2-3 weeks everyone who has family abroad is jetting off to see them and can't wait until the day before to change their ticket and re-book.'

Exactly. Measures will be reviewed in England on 18 December. I need to cancel my hotel booking by 15th! Will just have to wait and see what the next week or two brings

'I'm living in hope here !'

Ditto! Smile

QuentininQuarantino · 29/11/2021 13:57

And the next announcement is after overseas last posting dates… Shock

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