I'm not getting home for Christmas, am I?

[Opus17]

I know no one can actually answer this for me.

But I just want to go home for Christmas. I'm from the UK, live in the EU. I've followed all the rules, I was pregnant when covid hit, my son was born in summer 2020. I've stayed home, I've kept my distance, I've worn masks, I've accepted two trips home being cancelled, I've understood it was necessary. I haven't seen my family in 2 and a half years (only my mum once). The rest of my family haven't met my son (16 months). I want to go home. I want to hug my family. I want them to meet my son. I feel teary at the thought of this new variant stopping me from being on that plane in 3 weeks.
I have friends but none of them live here (three very good friends moved away just before the pandemic within a year of each other). I just miss being around my family / friends, it's starting to really get me down now and whenever someone mentions Christmas, I just get a lump in my stomach cause I won't get excited until I'm sitting on the plane.

I'm fully vaccinated. So is my husband. I still breastfeed, so my son should have some antibodies hopefully. We are isolating in the run up to our flight to keep us and everyone safe. We are being as responsible as we can because I'm desperate to come home. I just want to sit in my mum's living room and chat. I want to see my auntie and cousins and play stupid games. I want to visit my dad and his wife, my sister and my brothers. I know this might seem insignificant and silly with how serious the situation is, and I know this. But being apart from my family for so long is unusual and I guess I'm just struggling a bit now.

I've watched people fly all over the place to visit family or go on holiday, and it just seems ridiculously unfair that we could be in some sort of lockdown / have a travel ban when it's my turn. Yes, this all sounds very self-pity, but I promise I haven't been like this until now. I just feel ridiculously sad about it all.

We've had our flights booked for months, obviously if they weren't yet booked, I don't even know if we'd be booking with what's going on now. I'm buying some British treats for Christmas (quality street, matchmakers, mince pies, Christmas pudding) just in case we are stuck here again.

I just needed to get it out somewhere. Thank you for reading this far.

@Fairylights25

The only one that might affect you is how cavalier the UK approach to Covid management has been

I burst out laughing at this! We are likely to be the only European country along with Sweden to remain out of lockdown! Thanks to our 'cavalier' but world class scientists (didn't see any vaccines coming out of Ireland to save the world btw but you can save your thanks for another day) whom had the very good sense to open everything up in the middle of the summer when infection rates were low and the weather was on our side, to take the pressure off the winter. But hey don't let the actual facts stand in your way earringsandLipstick

Noting that ireland is already talking about more restrictions or are they just blindly following the EU like sheep as they normally do tagging along for the ride?

Hilarious.

Here's some facts for you about UK mishandling:

https://www.irishtimes.com/opinion/how-groupthink-in-its-covid-response-led-the-uk-to-disaster-1.4701527

According to the House of Commons' report published in October, which this article is about, the Government completely mishandled the crisis.

With two notable exceptions – the skill and resilience of health workers and the successful British vaccine programme, which started early and raced ahead of other national schemes before it was eventually overtaken by the rest of western Europe – the report makes for grim reading from start to finish. It describes how the UK had prepared for the wrong pandemic (its planning was inflexibly focused on a flu pandemic, and it failed to learn lessons from the Sars, Mers and Ebola outbreaks); how the country’s test-and-trace operation was an expensive shambles; and how over-centralised, opaque decision-making got in the way of effective action.

Had the UK instituted its lockdown even a week earlier than it did, it would have reduced the total death toll by at least half, according to Prof Neil Ferguson of Imperial College Londonn^.

From mid-October, an article addressing the concerns of European countries about the high rate of UK cases, and its impact on other countries, including Ireland

www.theguardian.com/world/2021/oct/21/uks-neighbours-criticise-covid-policies-as-cases-begin-to-surge-across-eu

Hope that helps you with er, facts.

@Opus17

Thanks for the lovely replies so far, and I'm sorry to hear about those of you in the same situation. It really is awful.

We sadly can't fly yet due to DH's work. (I've looked into this and his work is awful and won't let him work remotely). He's working up until December 20th, and I could fly without him but he's German so if the UK close the borders, then he won't be able to come over and we'll be spending a month apart.

@TheYearOfSmallThings There's just so much chatter of closing borders again and restrictions, I'm worried about our flights being cancelled or of closing of borders again

So come on your own with your son?

You could have come this summer to be fair.

@OnceuponaRainbow18

England also won’t accept a vaccine if not done by NHS… even if it’s the Pfizer or one recognised here!

That's not true, it seems

www.gov.uk/guidance/countries-with-approved-covid-19-vaccination-programmes-and-proof-of-vaccination

Always good to check these things.

@EarringsandLipstick

It happened to my fil last week, double jabbed in Spain with Pfizer, negative pcr on arrival, called by track and trace and had to isolate for 10 days and miss flight home. We called 119 and checked about 10 times as couldn’t believe it

@EarringsandLipstick

Sorry I meant won’t recognise them in regards of not having to isolate if a close contact

I'd take the chance of going before him and possibly not seeing him for a month. Surely that's the best option, you haven't seen your family in so long but have spent all that time with your dh.

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@EarringsandLipstick

Sorry I meant won’t recognise them in regards of not having to isolate if a close contact[/quote]
Well that's just sensible isn't it?

That's the guidance here too - close contacts have to self isolate regardless of vaccination status. (If I'm understanding your point correctly)

@EarringsandLipstick

I’m in England, close contacts don’t have to isolate it double jabbed or under 18 years old

@wildseas

I lived abroad for a long time so I totally get the need to go home when you haven't done it for so long.

In your position I would look to change your flight and fly out earlier with your son. Husband follows on the 20th, driving if air travel is too hard.

Worst case scenario and your husband can't join you then you fly back to Germany just before xmas so that you can all have xmas together there.

I would say the actual worst case scenario is borders close and she can’t return and he misses out on an undermined time of his child’s life.

It’s an awful situation.

I’m sorry you haven’t been able to see your family OP. I hope something works out.

earrings you can not making sweeping generalisations for at least two or three more years, only then will we have the clarity, the data and the oversight to make any kind of serious conclusion. This pandemic is far from over.

I might add that since July we have all enjoyed a normal life, parties, weddings, holidays and glorious days together and will continue to enjoy the same this Christmas. I believe the UK were spot on to release the lockdown measures when they did, and it has saved thousands of lives in terms of getting medical help/operations/suicides and improved general mental health. It is NOT all about covid for goodness sake.

I think most of us have found a way to live with this, I am quite happy with both the infection rate and the death rate here. We are at 98% antibodies and are on the verge of total herd immunity, so yes I am cool with the decisions, and proud of our amazing vaccines!

I think the irish times are the only people that are actually listening to the idiotic rantings of Neil Ferguson these days, he went off piste years ago! A firm pinch of salt at his doom mongering and speculation is the general feeling here.

I share your worry and frustration OP, I'm in your situation but in reverse. I am in the UK, and desperate to get to my Grandad in northern Germany for Christmas. He doesn't fly, and he's been alone for so long. I have no advice other than, I would if I was you, consider flying out earlier you and son, and if husband cannot join you, you fly back for Christmas with him there as I assume your son may be dual-national? It's shit, and you're allowed to be sad and angry about it. Just because others have it worse doesn't mean your feelings aren't entirely valid!

Breaking news that Boris Johnson has said the new SA variant is going to reduce the effectiveness of the vaccines.

You would be well advised to fly home now op after hearing this breaking now on Sky.

OP, I really feel for you. I was separated from my family for some of it, nothing like you, but enough to know how hard it is, and how everything else seems insignificant. There is a press conference beginning now - watch it if you can? - you may get the lie of the land and that may help you plan. I'd be tempted to take the risk and come on ahead I think. I suspect even if UK/Europe borders close it will be quite short term, while they sort out new systems or whatever. Hope it works out for you.

“this all sounds very self-pity, but I promise I haven't been like this until now.”

So basically you’re a covid NIMBY. Fully behind all these bs restrictions until the moment they affect you personally. They’re never going to go away until enough people stand up and refuse to comply. If not you’re part of it yourself.

Still reading, thank you to those of you with kind replies. Just keeping my fingers crossed really.

Very reluctant to fly home alone. If it weren't for DS, I would in a heartbeat. But DS dotes on his dad (lockdown has meant they have a fantastic bond) and I think DS would be lost without his dad for a month if worst case scenario happened. (He went to the cinema one night and wasn't home and ds just searched the flat for him for over an hour).

@TatianaBis summer wasn't an option. In fact, there have been no direct flights from this city to my home city (or a nearby city) since before the pandemic. Which is also why my family haven't managed to get across. Flights with 1 or 2 changes were ridiculously expensive so it just wasn't feasible in the few short months there have actually been flights. Even now, the direct flights don't start until early December and stop again early January.

Hope you get to visit your family.

But for next time. Summer is probably a better time. End of August.

Less likely to be any restrictions or lockdowns.

@Opus17, I really hope you make it. I haven't seen any of my siblings for at least 2 years. Last one was in Nov 2019. Didn't go anywhere o see anyone last Christmas, All sibs live abroad, all in different countries, DM lived 6 hours drive away in the UK, I am very, very fortunate that my DM moved to my village earlier this year. She and I are so looking forward to DSis and her DC coming for Christmas (from France). Everything crossed that she, and you, make it.

Yes, watching Boris now. Been having dinner together so just switched it on.

Sorry to hear all your situations too everyone. I'm reading and feeling with you all.

Does it have to be a month? Why not come for a long weekend or a week with DS just to see your family? And then if you get to come again at Christmas that’s a plus.

Can you not get a train to another city with direct flights? Or to a nearby city in the U.K. and get a train at this end?

@TatianaBis there are direct flights from December for us. I'm going to think about it again and discuss it again with DH. So far we'd now need a PCR before day 2 and isolate until it's negative. This isn't the end of the world.

'The only one that might affect you is how cavalier the UK approach to Covid management has been

I burst out laughing at this! We are likely to be the only European country along with Sweden to remain out of lockdown!'

Think about what you've written there @Fairylights25

I also know how you feel. DS 31 and I live in the same city but he's CEV and would die if he caught even a mild form of Covid. His hospital has forbidden him to have visitors. He was allowed out to a restaurant for his birthday, taxi there and back and every precaution taken, and he's now allowed out to Tesco every day for exercise, but he has to remain socially distanced even in the street. I haven't seen him even on a video call since February 2020, because video calls make him anxious. His illness causes many mental health issues.

We don’t know as we can’t mind read, but hopefully they are looking at this far earlier and hopefully can stop the spread much faster than they did with Delta

Hopefully people will do ask asked with masks, and getting jabbed and bolstered

At the moment you would need to PCR test on day two and need to isolate until you get the results. You sound as if you are being careful. As long as you have somewhere to isolate when you come in then hopefully you will be able to come and see your family

My worry is what Boris said 'if a close contact of someone suspected of having omicron you'll have to isolate for 10 days. But as they are currently sequencing a really small percentage of tests, how do they know who is suspected of having omicron... I worry that a positive case on a flight will automatically result in whole flight being isolated.