FFS I'm so upset with DS. Am I over reacting?

[MagicWorkout]

All of this household is double vaccinated, as are GPs.

DS1 (20 yo) has a GF 18y2m whonis not vaccinated (needle phobia). Her parents, both single jabbed, I know not why, tested positive yesterday.

In line with current guidance which says those under 18y6m don't need to isolate, GF has not isolated and DS has not stayed away. I get it, they're in love and want to be together.

Anyway, the inevitable has happened and she now has cough and a positive test.

DS saw her yesterday afternoon.

As we're all vaccinated, hopefully any illness will be mild, but I'm so cross that I'll probably (if I get it) have to take time off work and cancel social plans for the next couple of weeks. Even if I don't get it, I feel I should tell friends of the potential risk, who may choose to stay away. The same for DS2 who has fragile MH and for whom more isolation will be very bad news.

Am I being unreasonable to think DS1 should have sacrificed his social life once he knew of a specific risk, to protect mine and DS2's?

I know I'm very on edge about this as DH died earlier in the year (the reason for DS2's MH). I'm just hanging in there and the prospect of losing someone else (like my Dad) is just too much to bear.

OTOH DS1 lost his dad too and is entitled to enjoy life and we're all vaccinated so should be OK.

Also, what is the actual risk of DS1 and the rest of our household getting it when double jabbed?

Sorry for your loss OP. I think you are overreacting (although if I’m honest I’d find the lack of full vaccinations irritating), and IIRC you’ve posted about your son/his girlfriend/them spending time together on several occasions from various angles. I wonder if you’re projecting your feelings about the wider situation onto them a bit?

if you test negative and are double jagged you dont need to worry afaik

if you are double jabbed surely you dont need to self isolate?

you are entitled to feel upset op.
it is a shame but let it go,

Teenagers suck

I’m sorry for your loss. As both your sons are young, they were presumably vaccinated recently so hopefully will be ok. It’s all a bit random.

My ds (15) had COVID (before jabs available to his age group) and none of the rest of us got it. 2 adults double jabbed and 1 16 year old single jabbed.

@MrsLargeEmbodied

if you are double jabbed surely you dont need to self isolate?

I would if I have a positive test

I think you’re overreacting. Covid is endemic and if you don’t get it this month, chances are you’ll encounter it next month or in six months time.
You can’t expect your children to give up their lives just in case. Sorry for your loss

I’d be irritated too. With him, and with the whole single jab situation.

My DS16 tested positive and is now out of his isolation period. We would have had a lot of close contact with him in the days prior to his positive test but none of us caught it from him. We all had PCR tests and did regular LFTs to keep an eye on things.

We allowed DD to continue going out and seeing friends but warned everyone she was mixing with that we had a positive case in the house. She had to go to school in any case so it would have seemed bonkers to confine her to the house after being at school all day.

DH and I limited our contact with the outside world - only going out for walks in the fresh air.

I was very worried as my DD13 is immunosuppressed so confined DS to his room for the full 10 days and didn't allow anyone other than him to to use the main bathroom.

Sounds like your DS and his GF followed the government rules and this is how it's going to be from now on - rightly or wrongly.

I didnt get it from my 18 year old daughter, neither did her 15 yesterday old sister who was not then jabbed and shares a room with her. Im immunosuppressed. We all had to share a bathroom too. Took precautions with anti bac wipes but not much else we could do.

I tested positive 3 weeks ago. I had been intimate with DH, shared a bed with him and then had dinner with with my parents all in the 48 hours before my symptoms and test.

Following the test I shared a bed with my 2 year old and cared for her as well as my 5 year old. Didn’t distance from them at all.

No-one caught it from me. I caught it from work, classroom where 12 children all tested positive within 48 hours of me teaching them.

I would tell your Ds to stay at his girlfriends house to not bring it home. There's a high chance he could have it. But if he does get it and he's at home, changes are you will be fine. I totally get the frustration with work though. Can he get a test and stay in his room?! I wouldn't expect a child to isolate in room it at 20 it's feasible.

YANBU.

Once the parents tested positive he should have stayed away. It's not like you were asking him to give up his social life forever, you'd expect the daughter to get it and so he'd be staying away for maybe 12 days.

Hard to say what your risk is, on average its 25%. Make him isolate from you unless he has a negative test.

@Buzzinwithbez

It makes no sense that anyone can mix freely with people with covid if they are vaccinated or under 18. I don't think you can really be frustrated with your soon for following confusing and illogical advice, though it might have made sense for him to stay with his GFs family until you can be sure he's clear.

Yes, the rules make no sense, it should be the same rule for all. You could have sent him to her house. Though, except for the elderly or extremely vulnerable who take particular care, almost everyone else is likely to catch it at some point anyway.

I was going to say YABU but then I read that you lost your DH and now I think your feelings are misplaced but probably perfectly natural given your grief. So sorry that you're going through this.
Basically though you don't need to isolate but maybe avoid socialising or going to crowded places for the next week. There is no reason that you'll get it. My DS tested positive and I didn't get it.

It's getting a bit like trying to avoid a common cold, which is what covid will end up like once our immune systems have all learnt to deal with it.

Not all. DS1 won't die from the common cold, but he will from Covid.

Did he catch it and are you ok?