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Covid

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Original poster

Husband doesn't want to get vaccinated - but I do

102 replies

melonhead · 30/08/2021 01:05

I'm not vaccinated yet but plan to be this week, it's causing big problems at home as my husband would rather isolate to avoid catching it than get vaccinated. He has real concerns as he takes certain autoimmune medication, he is 50.
Of course I am my own person and can decide for myself, but we generally discuss life issues and agree. He doesn't want the children to go back to school for the first couple of weeks until we see if there's a spike. I want them to go back and be careful, they're 9 and 6.
How are you handling it when you don't agree as a family? There's no compromise!

OP posts:

toomuchlaundry · 30/08/2021 01:08

Have you been out and about since lockdown 1?

Wellbythebloodyhell · 30/08/2021 01:09

I'm vaccinated DH isn't I respect his choice he respects mine no big deal

Original poster

melonhead · 30/08/2021 01:10

Not really no, we both work by ourselves and have not travelled or been to any restaurants since this all started.

OP posts:

Wellbythebloodyhell · 30/08/2021 01:12

If you want it, have it , I don't really see what the issue is tbh

toomuchlaundry · 30/08/2021 01:13

Have the DC been to school?

Backofbeyond50 · 30/08/2021 01:13

What a difficult situation OP.

Mintjulia · 30/08/2021 01:13

I've been vaccinated. My body, my choice, I didn't consult anyone else.

I'm also primary carer for ds so I decide. He will be back at school on day 1 and will have the vaccine as soon as it is offered. I'm the one who cares for him if he is sick, collects him from school etc. so I decide.

EmeraldShamrock · 30/08/2021 01:14

Not really no, we both work by ourselves and have not travelled or been to any restaurants since this all started.
Wow that is horrendous, the poor DC.
There is many precautions you can take but to hide away will do far more damage than covid.
Let the DC go back to schools it'd have been better if you got vaccinated in July.
Has he spoken to a professional about his fears.

TooBigForMyBoots · 30/08/2021 01:17

My brother is vaccinated, my SiL is not and has no intentions of doing so anytime soon. Each is an adult, capable of making the choice for themselves.

Original poster

melonhead · 30/08/2021 01:20

@EmeraldShamrock

Not really no, we both work by ourselves and have not travelled or been to any restaurants since this all started. Wow that is horrendous, the poor DC. There is many precautions you can take but to hide away will do far more damage than covid. Let the DC go back to schools it'd have been better if you got vaccinated in July. Has he spoken to a professional about his fears.

It's not horrendous! We've had plenty of picnics and deliveries and days at the park and the beach! We're not keeping them locked away. But we disagree on the back to school and vaccination issues.

OP posts:

toomuchlaundry · 30/08/2021 01:24

It will still be circulating round school after the first 2 weeks. Why doesn’t he want the vaccine?

EmeraldShamrock · 30/08/2021 01:24

Have you been out and about since lockdown 1?
My mistake. I thought you were replying to this question above.
I know families who have been isolating since lockdown 1.
I think it is sad. I'm sorry I assumed you were one of them.

Original poster

melonhead · 30/08/2021 01:31

@EmeraldShamrock

Have you been out and about since lockdown 1? My mistake. I thought you were replying to this question above. I know families who have been isolating since lockdown 1. I think it is sad. I'm sorry I assumed you were one of them.

They did go back to school and we've been out, but no events or visits. It's been lovely really during the school holidays, but now it's back to school time our difference of opinion has come to a head.

OP posts:

BruceAndNosh · 30/08/2021 01:34

Has your husband asked his GP whether he should /could be vaccinated?
Or does he simply not want it?

Kokeshi123 · 30/08/2021 01:35

my husband would rather isolate to avoid catching it than get vaccinated. He has real concerns as he takes certain autoimmune medication, he is 50. Of course I am my own person and can decide for myself, but we generally discuss life issues and agree. He doesn't want the children to go back to school for the first couple of weeks until we see if there's a spike.

It's all very well to say "His body, his choice," but it sounds like he is drifting in the direction of imposing restrictions on his kids so that they are less likely to give him the virus. I'd be concerned that he's just going to find more excuses to keep them away from school and social opportunities for longer and longer while continuing to refuse the jab.

I understand that everyone has to make their own choices, but ethically I have a real problem with the whole idea of "I, an adult, am too precious to get the vaccine---so the kids can bear the burden of ongoing restrictions to protect me." Adults need to take responsibility for themselves and protect children, not the other way round.

SpringRainbow · 30/08/2021 01:39

I'm not vaccinated yet but plan to be this week, it's causing big problems at home as my husband would rather isolate to avoid catching it than get vaccinated.

You see I don’t get this? Just because your vaccinated it doesn’t mean that you suddenly have to start going out and about and get close to everyone.

You can be vaccinated AND still be careful. If you want to still mostly isolate from others after vaccination, you can if you want to.

It doesn’t have to be one or the other?

Original poster

melonhead · 30/08/2021 01:45

@SpringRainbow

I'm not vaccinated yet but plan to be this week, it's causing big problems at home as my husband would rather isolate to avoid catching it than get vaccinated.

You see I don’t get this? Just because your vaccinated it doesn’t mean that you suddenly have to start going out and about and get close to everyone.

You can be vaccinated AND still be careful. If you want to still mostly isolate from others after vaccination, you can if you want to.

It doesn’t have to be one or the other?

I agree. I'm happy to get vaccinated and still stay relatively isolated. I'm very introverted anyway. It's the back to school issue we can't agree on and there's no compromise there :-(

OP posts:

toomuchlaundry · 30/08/2021 01:50

What do you mean there is no compromise? Who will speak to school/EWO if you don’t send them back?

Tippexy · 30/08/2021 01:51

If you are your own person then why didn’t you have it months ago?

Surely you aren’t going to acquiesce to your children missing two weeks of school?

He’s coming across as an ignorant bully, OP. Not good.

HelgaDownUnder · 30/08/2021 02:00

He is within his rights to turn down the vaccine, but he really needs to allow your DC freedom.

I lose all respect for people's anti-vax decisions when they try and impose their risk reduction on others, especially children.
His body, his choice, his risk. I guess he may be concerned that the vaccine could cause a flare up of his autoimmune condition, but children do not get sacrificed for adult comfort.

I'm not sure why you getting the vaccine is an issue for anyone but you. Please tell me he doesn't think vaccinated people 'shed' spike proteins?

Driftingblue · 30/08/2021 02:03

My husband is severely immune compromised and we consulted his doctors for guidance. I would advice that you do the same as every person’s condition is different.

You should definitely get vaccinated. I am shocked his doctors have not had him get vaccinated already. It isn’t as effective for people who are immune compromised, but it’s still worth a try.

For school, it’s not an easy decision and if your husband’s case isn’t extreme the doctor won’t really be able to give you a firm answer. We homeschooled for a year and a half. We were able to get our daughter vaccinated before she went back to school recently (different school year here) and her school is wearing masks. It’s not ideal and we are scared, but we had to balance the risk with the consequences of continuing to keep her home.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 30/08/2021 06:29

He's being very selfish.

Is there a medical reason that he can't have the vaccine? I'd have thought he'd want to be as protected as possible.

Ultimately it's up to him if he doesn't get it but he has no right to dictate to others.

LaBellina · 30/08/2021 06:33

He is being selfish. When I saw the title of your thread I thought you wanted to persuade him to get vaccinated against his will and was ready to reply ‘bodily autonomy above all’ but as I see it after reading your OP, your DH is the unreasonable one here.

It’s his choice to not get vaccinated but his ‘demand’ that you all isolate and the children miss out even more on school is beyond selfish, actually I would say it’s controlling and abusive.

CrunchyCarrot · 30/08/2021 07:22

Unfortunately your DH won't be able to avoid coming into contact with this virus forever. Any of us who are unvaccinated have to understand this, and accept the risk.

OliveTree75 · 30/08/2021 07:33

He is being very selfish. The virus is still going to be around in a few weeks,then what?

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