I am currently away abroad on holiday with my husband 2 young children on holiday. My mum who is 64 is home in the UK with Covid at home by herself. She is unvaccinated, believing all the conspiracy theories on facebook. She also believed that if she had not contracted Covid for all this time she wasn’t going to get it now, it would not happen to HER. She worked full time in a hospital throughout.
My mum and I have always had a very strained relationship, at its worst during the teen years and then we slowly ‘drifted apart’ when i left for university. I kept in contact but found our relationship, and her very difficult at times. She became more bitter after her divorce. We were not close although we did always speak once a week.
A week ago she told me she had gotten covid from a patient at work who tested positive during a routine test and had no symptoms. She already was home for 1 week with it when she told me (2 days before i was due to go on holiday with my family) She seemed ‘ok’ as far as mild covid goes, I rang her the night before our trip. However it’s now been 2 weeks of her being home with it and she sounds dreadful when i call (i call daily and text) She has an awful barking cough, can barely get a few words out together before she has to stop to rest and catch her breath, she cannot finish a sentence also due to barking cough. She’s on her own at home (divorced) She does have friends and family calling her daily to check on her but obviously no one has been to her house to physically check on her. Our family are dotted all over the UK and don’t live close to her, her friends are all mid 60s to mid 70s so even double jabbed i doubt anyone would physically enter the house and take that risk for themselves/ their own families at their age (sorry I would assume that’s not even the right thing to do anyway)
Being a nurse she has blood pressure monitor and other monitors at home she’s checking herself with daily and they are all on the borderline for still JUST ok. But she’s had a fever for now 2 weeks, a horrible barking cough, breathlessness and weakness when talking. She’s not eating and has vommited a few times. She said she passed out once too when getting out of bed. She’s taking painkillers for the headache and fever but due to very little to no eating they are giving her intense stomach pains now as she’s been on them 2 weeks.
She’s stubborn and will not call an ambulance. She won’t go to hospital as believes once they put her on a ventilator she won’t come off it and will die there. She believes her home is cursed and she will die at home- lots of bad things have happened in her house (even prior to her moving in there) but i’ve told her that over such a long period bad things can happen in any house. Her mother, my grandmother died in her sleep in the house and she says she will probably go the same way.
She has plenty of food at home as does online deliveries, but says too weak to make food or even eat it once made. She said she ordered herself a take away one night but binned it all as as soon as she smelt the food she became very nauseated.
I am still aboard for another 2 weeks and very worried. There is a private doctor my family and I have used in the past for a few more serious issues, and I emailed him yesterday to please call my mum at home for some advice. I trust him and value his medical advice. He called me straight away and we arranged a call for him and my mum.
He believes my mum may have a secondary infection such a phenumonia and has greatly encouraged her to call an ambulance that day or the next day (today) As a professional has told her i hope she’s thinking about it seriously and will do this (but i’m my heart I feel she still won’t) He said her stats seem ok so far but he’s concerned she has a high fever for 2 weeks and is so weak on the phone. He will not prescribe her anything to take at home as believes the situation is too serious now and she should be on antibiotics and steroids in hospital.
When I gently encouraged his advice last night she went a bit weird… telling me what a mess her house is that she hasn’t cleaned and started painting it right before she became unwell so there are now paint pots everywhere. I asked why any of that matters as we are talking about her health but then she just went silent. Is she worried what ambulance staff will think of her ‘messy’ house?!
I barely slept last night, I am so worried.
For reference she is overweight with some minor heart issues, nothing else.
Can anyone please advice what they would do if this was their parent. I’m abroad for another 2 weeks and just don’t know what to do.
Thank you