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Original poster

Unvaccinated friends and vulnerable dh

60 replies

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 02:54

Both myself and dh and double vax, dh is still very vulnerable following treatment last year.

I have a very good friend who refuses to vaccinate and her dh feels the same way. Her friends also see Covid as a massive conspiracy (they are all unvaccinated too) and she talks about a book she's bought about it, her mind is made up.

Our dcs are close friends and I've tried to stay away from any Covid conversations because I have very different feelings about it to my df. I try to meet her and her dcs outdoors to minimise any risks to dh. Occasionally we have met indoors but I have worried about carrying Covid back to dh.

I just wondered what other people think. Would you still mix with someone who refuses to vax? I feel like a bad friend for feeling like this bit as time goes on I'm more concerned that we might catch Covid. The vaccine is not 100% effective.

OP posts:
user654654 · 23/08/2021 09:03

You are asking on a board that has been taken over by anti-vaxxers OP

It is a genuine truth that 90% of the people in ICU with Covid are unvaccinated.

Do like Jennifer Anniston, people who voluntarily refuse the vaccine are so fundamentally different to you that it is not possible to stay friends with them. The kids can play at school and be friends if they want, but there is no need for you to put yourselves at increased risk by mixing with this idiots.

beigebrownblue · 23/08/2021 09:06

@SilverGlitterBaubles

My concern wouldn't be that they are unvaccinated, it would be that their attitudes might mean that they are will take risks or less precautions than others would such as testing or self isolating with symptoms.
This would be my concern also.

The experience I have with the only non vaccinated parents i know is that they are so hypocritical.

They wax lyrical about safeguarding (DD of theirs is sixteen) and are overprotective, yet when it comes to weighing up the scientific evidence, and the provided by the NHS on risks and advantages, then these people suddenly dismiss it all and safeguarding, keeping their fellow citizens safe, doesn't exist anymore.

I spoke to a vaccinated friend this morning and we both said we were grateful to live in a country with an NHS. There are many people in countries out there who don't have access to vaccinations at all.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/08/2021 09:09

@user654654

You are asking on a board that has been taken over by anti-vaxxers OP

It is a genuine truth that 90% of the people in ICU with Covid are unvaccinated.

Do like Jennifer Anniston, people who voluntarily refuse the vaccine are so fundamentally different to you that it is not possible to stay friends with them. The kids can play at school and be friends if they want, but there is no need for you to put yourselves at increased risk by mixing with this idiots.

Who is anti vax? I'm not at all. But I caught Covid from a fully vaxxed person so I'm not convinced they are any safer than unvaxxed people.
CBUK22 · 23/08/2021 09:47

Would you choose to mix with someone who drink drives?

I'd put the two on a similar morale level.

CBUK22 · 23/08/2021 09:49

@Waxonwaxoff0 - the latest data shows COVID transmission by fully vaccinated people is 40-80% lower than vaccinated people.

As 85% of adults have had the jab, you're still more likely to catch COVID from a vaccinated person just on sheer numbers alone.

MrsScrubbithatescleaning · 23/08/2021 09:54

I had a friend who is anti vax and full of stupid conspiracy theories.

I ditched them and told them why.

Yes, the kids can mix at school but you don’t have to entertain the parents’ nonsense.

My 12yr old DC had his first vaccination a week ago so he’ll be getting his second one soon. I will feel much happier when he’s had it.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/08/2021 09:55

[quote CBUK22]@Waxonwaxoff0 - the latest data shows COVID transmission by fully vaccinated people is 40-80% lower than vaccinated people.

As 85% of adults have had the jab, you're still more likely to catch COVID from a vaccinated person just on sheer numbers alone.[/quote]
Which is why I'm not bothered about who is and isn't vaccinated.

SpnBaby1967 · 23/08/2021 09:59

A board taken over by anti-vaxxers?? Bit dramatic.

I dont understand the fear around unvaccinated given even the double jabbed can spread covid. In your scenario OP you are more of a risk to your friend than she is to you because she is unvaccinated.

As for the doesnt believe in covid. Ignore it. Everyone has their opinions, rightly or wrongly. You wont change her mind.

Usual2usual · 23/08/2021 10:12

I don't see much anti vax on this board am I missing something?

I have had both jabs so I'm not worried about the vaccine status of others because I am as protected as I can be. I also have two DC in prinary school so if we are to avoid the unvaccinated then I had better ask them to find somewhere else to live.....

CBUK22 · 23/08/2021 10:21

@Waxonwaxoff0 - You're not bothered because having the jab dramatically reduces to transmission - ie - people who've not had the jab are a lot more likely to give you it? A strange attitude.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/08/2021 10:27

[quote CBUK22]@Waxonwaxoff0 - You're not bothered because having the jab dramatically reduces to transmission - ie - people who've not had the jab are a lot more likely to give you it? A strange attitude.[/quote]
As I said, I caught it from a double vaxxed person and statistically I'm more likely to catch it from a double vaxxed person as the majority of adults are double vaxxed.

jewel1968 · 23/08/2021 10:29

@Waxonwaxoff0 but given they are double vaxed does that not mean the random person in the shops is at least as likely. If my understanding is correct that double vaccinated have lower viral load.

Sugarandtime · 23/08/2021 10:34

Of course I would still socialise with them. Having 2 injections doesn’t make anyone at any more greater risk of contracting the virus from somebody who hasn’t had any injections or vise versus.
I would make sure there is good hygiene and ventilation but would do that anyway.

You really need to stop falling for this divide bring made in society.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 23/08/2021 10:34

I would leave her to her own choices but wouldn’t stop being friends with someone just because of this, but would be very clear that any social interaction would have to take place outside in a socially distanced way in order to protect your entire family.

Siameasy · 23/08/2021 10:37

Yes id still meet I’ve had the jab x 2 still caught it and mildly too (fingers xd).

Sugarandtime · 23/08/2021 10:38

@user654654

You are asking on a board that has been taken over by anti-vaxxers OP

It is a genuine truth that 90% of the people in ICU with Covid are unvaccinated.

Do like Jennifer Anniston, people who voluntarily refuse the vaccine are so fundamentally different to you that it is not possible to stay friends with them. The kids can play at school and be friends if they want, but there is no need for you to put yourselves at increased risk by mixing with this idiots.

What a truly unpleasant person you appear to be.
Gooseysgirl · 23/08/2021 11:27

If they are buying into all the ridiculous conspiracy theories, personally I wouldn't be hanging out with them.. BUT otherwise if your DH is double vaxed I don't really see the issue. A close friend of mine is not vaccinated but she is not a raving anti-vaxxer, it's just personal choice and that's up to her. I've no problem being in her company at all whether it's indoors or outdoors.

Mybalconyiscracking · 23/08/2021 12:21

@bigbaggyeyes

In your shoes op, if my dh was vulnerable, I'd sick to meeting them outside. Neither of you are right or wrong, you've simply got different thoughts and beliefs towards vaccination. and if they are good friends they will feel the same.
Nope, your friends are wrong!
Cattaxi · 23/08/2021 20:40

This has been an issue in our friendship group recently.
One friend had been increasingly loud in her anti-vax stance. So loud that a few of us have been put off hanging out with her and the kids. No one wants to listen to her bullshit.
Evidence is pretty clear that you are less likely to catch and pass it on when you are fully vaxxed. I have avoided her all summer as I don’t want our plans ruined.
Her whole family are now all pretty rough with covid and they have passed it on to loads of people as they didn’t think they could possibly have it and didn’t correctly follow rules regarding testing & isolation.
The families they’ve infected include a mum who is ECV. She is double vaxxed, but very afraid of ending up very ill or worse.
Most of the group have had holidays / days out / birthdays ruined are now wishing they’d stopped socialising with the anti vax family.
I’m sure we aren’t alone in this experience. Right to chose goes both ways and I think more and more people will chose to only mix with vaccinated people.
Risk assessment isn’t just about eliminating, it’s about mitigating. Vaccines are mitigators.

sleepwouldbenice · 24/08/2021 02:33

@SilverGlitterBaubles

My concern wouldn't be that they are unvaccinated, it would be that their attitudes might mean that they are will take risks or less precautions than others would such as testing or self isolating with symptoms.
This is the main issue to me. Overall attitude
sleepwouldbenice · 24/08/2021 02:37

@Usual2usual

Given that they keep saying how vaccinated people can still spread Covid - you are a bigger risk to your friends than they are to you because if they catch it they don't have the vaccine protection and you and your DH do.

I totally don't understand this whole 'fear of the unvaccinated' narrative.

Wouldn’t give a damn about their risk given their overall attitude to be honest
stepleftorright · 24/08/2021 03:09

@SilverGlitterBaubles

My concern wouldn't be that they are unvaccinated, it would be that their attitudes might mean that they are will take risks or less precautions than others would such as testing or self isolating with symptoms.
This is the problem. If they are unwell they won’t test and will be out and about unless they are physically unable to. That’s what would worry me.
Usual2usual · 24/08/2021 07:19

Evidence is pretty clear that you are less likely to catch and pass it on when you are fully vaxxed

you say this then go on to say how this anti vax person has given covid to fully vaccinated people - so those fully vaccinated people did catch it and can pass it on then - thereby being just as much of a risk as a non vaccinated person?

Wouldn’t give a damn about their risk given their overall attitude to be honest

I wasn't meaning that OP should care about whether she infects them just that the friend is not vaccinated and therefore more likely (although still unlikely in the grand scheme of things) develop more serious symptoms.

My point is that people don't need to fear the unvaccinated. Are you scared of people who are not vaccinated against other diseases? Do you ask people their vaccine status for measles for instance? I mean thats a pretty serious virus.

EmmaOvary · 24/08/2021 09:58

I wish there was a vaccine against conspiracy nutters.

Catma2021 · 24/08/2021 10:02

I wouldn’t see them. They don’t give a shit about your DH.

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