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Original poster

Unvaccinated friends and vulnerable dh

60 replies

Jennybeans401 · 23/08/2021 02:54

Both myself and dh and double vax, dh is still very vulnerable following treatment last year.

I have a very good friend who refuses to vaccinate and her dh feels the same way. Her friends also see Covid as a massive conspiracy (they are all unvaccinated too) and she talks about a book she's bought about it, her mind is made up.

Our dcs are close friends and I've tried to stay away from any Covid conversations because I have very different feelings about it to my df. I try to meet her and her dcs outdoors to minimise any risks to dh. Occasionally we have met indoors but I have worried about carrying Covid back to dh.

I just wondered what other people think. Would you still mix with someone who refuses to vax? I feel like a bad friend for feeling like this bit as time goes on I'm more concerned that we might catch Covid. The vaccine is not 100% effective.

OP posts:
splitnighthelp · 23/08/2021 03:20

I don't understand why people care or not about others having the jab. You can still spread and catch covid if you have the jab but you're less likely to end up seriously ill so the only person who benefits from you having the jab is you. Unfortunately whether your friend has the jab or not they can still pass covid on to you.

Mary1Mary · 23/08/2021 03:21

If your kids have been going to school and you've been going to work or the shops you will have had contact with countless unvaccinated people.

ohidoliketobe · 23/08/2021 03:37

Unless yourself and the rest of the household are going to fully isolate, there's as much chance you'll bring it into the house from school / work/ supermarket. And I say that as pro-vax

UnsuitableHat · 23/08/2021 05:22

I’d mix with someone who was unvaccinated- they’ve chosen their risk- but not if they went on about it. Perhaps your friend doesn’t though?

Knittingupastorm · 23/08/2021 05:29

I’d struggle to be friends with someone who thought covid was a conspiracy, because I don’t have a huge tolerance for crap like that.

But purely on the risk of her being unvaccinated, your kids are unvaccinated and will be mixing with unvaccinated kids at school in a week or two, so I’m not sure how much additional risk your friend adds.

canigooutyet · 23/08/2021 05:39

I'm cev and mix with the unvaccinated everyday as I have a child and his friends come into my home. I'm also unvaccinated due to health reasons. If adults have the vaccine or not I wouldn't have a clue. Same with I have never known if they have the flu or pneumonia ones either.

All I have ever enforced is if they are ill to stay away from me. Of course there have been morons over the decades who thought this didn't apply to them, and probably still moan that I wouldn't let them in.

Mybalconyiscracking · 23/08/2021 06:57

I couldn’t be arsed with people that think they are so bloody special and have such contempt for the majority of the human race.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 23/08/2021 07:11

My concern wouldn't be that they are unvaccinated, it would be that their attitudes might mean that they are will take risks or less precautions than others would such as testing or self isolating with symptoms.

Usual2usual · 23/08/2021 07:18

Given that they keep saying how vaccinated people can still spread Covid - you are a bigger risk to your friends than they are to you because if they catch it they don't have the vaccine protection and you and your DH do.

I totally don't understand this whole 'fear of the unvaccinated' narrative.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/08/2021 07:19

I currently have Covid which I caught from a double vaccinated person so it wouldn't bother me.

canigooutyet · 23/08/2021 07:35

And don't forget if your double vaccinated and come into contact with someone who has tested positive, you don't have to isolate.

PurpleDaisies · 23/08/2021 07:38

You don’t usually know who is vaccinated and who isn’t. I’d hope all my friends are but I won’t be instituting my own covid pass check at my doorstep.

As others have said, if you spend time with under 16s, they won’t have been vaccinated.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 23/08/2021 07:46

DH (double vax) caught Covid at work from a colleague (double vax) but didn't catch it from DD (unvaccinated, symptomatic) living in the same house a few months ago when at that point he had only had his 1st jab. The whole thing is random and bizarre and I think the main thing is that you are vaccinated and the rest is in the lap of the gods.

Jasmine11 · 23/08/2021 07:53

I wouldn't hang out with a covid conspiracy nutter anyway but I understand people sometimes have to mix with people they wouldn't necessarily choose to as their children are friends. In your position I would limit indoors meet ups with them - although if your children are going to be at school all day together anyway that might be a bit pointless.

bigbaggyeyes · 23/08/2021 07:56

In your shoes op, if my dh was vulnerable, I'd sick to meeting them outside. Neither of you are right or wrong, you've simply got different thoughts and beliefs towards vaccination. and if they are good friends they will feel the same.

BenjiMcSchmenzie · 23/08/2021 07:56

I’m not vaxxed (but I don’t go on about it and I’m not a conspiracy theorist Grin. I’m waiting for an appointment with an allergy specialist to see if I can get vaxxed or not). I wouldn’t be offended if you didn’t want to meet me indoors given your circumstances OP. We all do what we think is for the best, and there’s been enough divisiveness over Covid and vaccines without needing to make drama out of this. I hope your DH stays well.

PurpleDaisies · 23/08/2021 08:13

@bigbaggyeyes

In your shoes op, if my dh was vulnerable, I'd sick to meeting them outside. Neither of you are right or wrong, you've simply got different thoughts and beliefs towards vaccination. and if they are good friends they will feel the same.
The conspiracy friend clearly is wrong. Why can’t we say that? I respect everyone’s right to make their own decision but that doesn’t mean saying all beliefs are valid. Some absolutely aren’t.
ifonly4 · 23/08/2021 08:16

If your friend is a true friend, she will respect you have different views, and be prepared to meet up outside if she really wants to see you. I'm very lucky to have quite a few friends and all of us are still being careful, meeting outside (pubs, cafes, gardens, parks, country walks) - we've done this throughout even a winter walk while it was snowing.

I have a friend who won't have the vaccine right now (and I totally understand why in her case), but she's trying to be very careful in terms of not catching covid herself and not passing it to others. We meet outside, distanced, but we can still get together, have a good chat/laugh.

WrongKindOfFace · 23/08/2021 08:19

@SilverGlitterBaubles

My concern wouldn't be that they are unvaccinated, it would be that their attitudes might mean that they are will take risks or less precautions than others would such as testing or self isolating with symptoms.
This. If they think covid is a conspiracy you can bet they’ll still be going out and about with a cough and won’t get tested.
QueenofLouisiana · 23/08/2021 08:21

Recent research is showing that the vaccinated can spread delta variant more easily than was previously hoped. So, in your situation, I’d be meeting outside whenever possible- not just these people.
I’d be worried that people who think it’s all a conspiracy will be doing other things that make them more susceptible to catching this virus.

underneaththeash · 23/08/2021 08:29

The most recent research shows that AZ is 61% effective in stopping infections. You cannot easily pass on an infection you don’t have - unless you (for example) have it on your hands/face, when washing would remove it.

I would only see them outside, if they’ve fallen down the conspiracy hole, they probably wouldn’t test either if symptomatic.

jewel1968 · 23/08/2021 08:30

I think (but am no expert) that unvaccinated if they get COVID will likely have higher viral load so more likely to transmit.

Those of you that say you caught it from double vaccinated people - how do you know for sure who you caught it from? Unless you have very limited contact with people couldn't you have caught it from anyone. I know there might be the more likely person (someone at work who is positive etc ..) but could you not have caught it from a random person in the shops?

Hardploc · 23/08/2021 08:31

Everyone I know who has had covid in the last few months has been double vaccinated

DancesWithTortoises · 23/08/2021 08:35

You need some new friends who aren't stupid, OP.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/08/2021 08:35

@jewel1968

I think (but am no expert) that unvaccinated if they get COVID will likely have higher viral load so more likely to transmit.

Those of you that say you caught it from double vaccinated people - how do you know for sure who you caught it from? Unless you have very limited contact with people couldn't you have caught it from anyone. I know there might be the more likely person (someone at work who is positive etc ..) but could you not have caught it from a random person in the shops?

I could possibly have caught it from a random person in the shops, but considering my work colleague who sits opposite me came into work after being a close contact with a positive case, subsequently tested positive herself and then I tested positive a couple of days later, I'm fairly confident that I caught it from her.