Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

What do you do if a family member is an anti-vaxxer?

379 replies

BrutusMcDogface · 01/08/2021 15:17

I’m so angry with my sibling for putting my parents at risk. So very, very angry.

WWYD? Avoid him? Avoid them?!

Can’t believe he’s being so selfish!

OP posts:
Hawkins001 · 01/08/2021 15:18

That's understandable, do what you think is currently best

aiwblam · 01/08/2021 15:21

Nothing you can do.
How old are sibling/parents and what is reason for refusing?

lannistunut · 01/08/2021 15:21

I would probably try to avoid being indoors with them, to minimise risk of catching it from them.

I would also state I disagree.

But other than that, what can you do?

In free countries, people are free. Free to be wrong!

userperuser · 01/08/2021 15:22

I’d respect their choice. If your parents vaccines aren’t protecting them it’s not the fault of your sibling.

iloverunningslow · 01/08/2021 15:36

We have a similar situation. Relatives have always been hardcore antivaxxers and conspiracy theorists.
The only thing that works for us is to consistently change the subject every single time they bring it up, and only reply to messages that are about a normal topic (what they are doing this weekend =good, bill gates is trying to kill us all = ignore).

Original poster
BrutusMcDogface · 01/08/2021 15:59

Thanks for the replies!

Yes, it’s his choice but he is putting his nearest and dearest at risk, isn’t he? I will 100% be avoiding him, and therefore won’t be seeing my parents on Sundays anymore.

OP posts:
NoiceDifferentUnusual · 01/08/2021 16:00

Avoid and/ or ignore. Don’t react to any of the ‘research’ they tell you or send you. I’m no longer on speaking terms with my sibling nor best friend. I put up with them ‘educating’ me for years - pre Covid (MMR, David Icke, Bill Gates, pizzagate conspiracies) and just lost it with both of them this year. So if you want to maintain a relationship with these people, you can’t debate these topics. They do not want to listen nor do they want to discuss; any conversation serves the purpose of trying to make you think the same way as them. It’s cult like behaviour, it’s the only way I can describe it.

Original poster
BrutusMcDogface · 01/08/2021 16:02

I was actually thinking, this could drive a wedge between us (my other siblings agree with me). I always thought blood is thicker than water, etc, but I can’t get past the pure selfishness of it!

OP posts:
Darbs76 · 01/08/2021 16:04

I do think it’s selfish but so many are catching it and spreading it now who are double jabbed (I both caught it and passed it on in the last 2wks) so to be honest I’d say if they are willing to do a lateral flow before seeing your parents that’s just as good if no better for keeping them safe. I think the biggest benefit of vaccine is to yourself, to avoid more serious illness and death

Veebree · 01/08/2021 16:07

I wouldn't engage or argue. Everyone has their own choice whether to get vaccinated or not. If the rest of you are vaccinated the risk won't be that great anyway.

MareofBeasttown · 01/08/2021 16:08

On MN you just say " Your body your choice" and carry on. IRL some of us make different choices.

lannistunut · 01/08/2021 16:21

@BrutusMcDogface

Thanks for the replies!

Yes, it’s his choice but he is putting his nearest and dearest at risk, isn’t he? I will 100% be avoiding him, and therefore won’t be seeing my parents on Sundays anymore.

Not really, they would be making their own choice whether to see him surely?
Againstmachine · 01/08/2021 16:31

People make their own choices and if you and others have have had vaccine why the worry.

Stuffin · 01/08/2021 16:44

Surely it's up to your parents to decide whether he is putting them at risk. You don't get to decide that for them. Obviously if you think he is putting you at risk stay away.

I am vaccinated but don't get all this angst about people deciding they don't want it.

CommanderBurnham · 01/08/2021 16:48

It depends. If he is not really exposing himself to the virus, then fair enough. Absolutely do what you think is right for your family, but at the same time respect his wishes not to vaccinate. Alienating him or being judgy is not going to encourage him to get the vaccine.

We have plenty of people at work who think now that their doubly vaccinated, they're bulletproof. Many have had Covid recently, so it's avoidance behaviour as well as vaccinations that prevents spread.

Neverrains · 01/08/2021 16:50

Well I wouldn’t do anything. The person they’re putting most at risk by not being vaccinated is them-self.

lannistunut · 01/08/2021 16:50

I am vaccinated but don't get all this angst about people deciding they don't want it. Me either, I am assuming some of the people I come into contact with will be unvaccinated.

Any children are going into plague pits in September anyway, they will take it straight to Grandparents soon enough.

I think the vaccine-rage is just misplaced general Covid-rage?

TheTallOakTrees · 01/08/2021 16:57

@BrutusMcDogface

I was actually thinking, this could drive a wedge between us (my other siblings agree with me). I always thought blood is thicker than water, etc, but I can’t get past the pure selfishness of it!
Yes it is selfish but once people go down that particular rabbit hole and mention Bill Gates, sheeple, control and reset they have been indoctrinated into the cult. They won't see that their research isn't research but regurgitation of misinformation.

Distance yourself and perhaps ask him to at least test himself before close contact with the vulnerable.

bumbleymummy · 01/08/2021 16:59

Is he actually anti-vaxx or just not having this vaccine? Are your parents vaccinated? Do they go out and about? If so, I think you’re over reacting.

TheTallOakTrees · 01/08/2021 17:00

@NoiceDifferentUnusual

Avoid and/ or ignore. Don’t react to any of the ‘research’ they tell you or send you. I’m no longer on speaking terms with my sibling nor best friend. I put up with them ‘educating’ me for years - pre Covid (MMR, David Icke, Bill Gates, pizzagate conspiracies) and just lost it with both of them this year. So if you want to maintain a relationship with these people, you can’t debate these topics. They do not want to listen nor do they want to discuss; any conversation serves the purpose of trying to make you think the same way as them. It’s cult like behaviour, it’s the only way I can describe it.
I agree it is cult like. I feel sorry for a former friend who says the most bizarre things. People laugh about her and roll their eyes. It's a bit sad really.
RoseRedRoseBlue · 01/08/2021 17:02

@Stuffin

Surely it's up to your parents to decide whether he is putting them at risk. You don't get to decide that for them. Obviously if you think he is putting you at risk stay away.

I am vaccinated but don't get all this angst about people deciding they don't want it.

Exactly. People need to let this go, as there is nothing they can do about it and it is not their business either.
TheTallOakTrees · 01/08/2021 17:02

I mean when someone says things like "you will all wake up when people start dying from the vaccine population control " what can you do but walk away 🤔

lannistunut · 01/08/2021 17:05

@TheTallOakTrees

I mean when someone says things like "you will all wake up when people start dying from the vaccine population control " what can you do but walk away 🤔
I just ignore (and hope they are wrong!)
Saidtoomuch · 01/08/2021 17:05

I would say "your body, your choice. DPs and I are double jabbed, so are unlikely to become ill, but please let us know - just in case - which songs you would like us to play at your funeral."

RoseRedRoseBlue · 01/08/2021 17:08

What a ridiculous comment, without any real basis.