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Original poster

What do you do if a family member is an anti-vaxxer?

379 replies

BrutusMcDogface · 01/08/2021 15:17

I’m so angry with my sibling for putting my parents at risk. So very, very angry.

WWYD? Avoid him? Avoid them?!

Can’t believe he’s being so selfish!

OP posts:
Picklypickles · 01/08/2021 17:09

My uncle is an anti-vaxxer, we all just leave him to his funny ideas really and hope he doesn't get really sick from Covid, there's no point in trying to talk him round as he's the type who always knows better. The rest of the people I care about are vaccinated and he doesn't visit anyone very often.

ChloeCrocodile · 01/08/2021 17:10

I just don't get drawn in to antivax conversations. I can't be doing with conspiracy theorist, fake science bullshit. But I also wouldn't pay any attention to a sibling who was trying to stop me seeing my own parents. IMO your behaviour is far worse. He is choosing his own medical treatments. Your parents are choosing to see their son. You are trying to control your brother and parents and ignoring their wishes.

Bodily autonomy is a red line for me, and I have no patience with people who try to bully or coerce others into medical treatments they don't want.

By all means stay away yourself if you are worried for yourself and/or your DH/DCs.

bumbleymummy · 01/08/2021 17:10

@Saidtoomuch

I would say "your body, your choice. DPs and I are double jabbed, so are unlikely to become ill, but please let us know - just in case - which songs you would like us to play at your funeral."
This is a really silly thing to say. You realise it’s not a case of vaccine or guaranteed death from the virus, right? Even before the vaccine the majority of cases were mild.
Againstmachine · 01/08/2021 17:11

I agree it is cult like.

Not really you do realise insisiting everyone is vaccinated is equally cult like.

I've had both my vaccines but this fear of the unvaccinated is unhinged, you haven't got much confidence in the vaccine if so afraid.

Neverrains · 01/08/2021 17:14

@MareofBeasttown

On MN you just say " Your body your choice" and carry on. IRL some of us make different choices.
You see I find the opposite. It’s only on MN that I see people with such a deep fear of the unvaccinated. In real life everyone I know has been vaccinated and trusts that it will protect them from serious illness, so they don’t really care what other people choose to do.
MareofBeasttown · 01/08/2021 17:16

It really depends on whether you are involved in the care of your parents. I am involved in the long distance care of my 76 yr old mother. I would be furious if my unvaxxed sibling dropped in, gave them Covid, and then left expecting me to take care of the fallout ( hypothetical situation).

Also once again numerous statements saying the vaxxed can spread covid. FAR less likely. Far.

delilahbucket · 01/08/2021 17:18

Both myself and DP have a sibling each who is anti vax, one who is just lazy and one who at one point was saying covid didn't exist, then that it wasn't harmful to anyone and if they got it they wouldn't isolate, and then after them and seven (yep seven) other households all getting it from each other a year ago, because they kept mixing during lockdown, they have issued the classic "we've had Covid so don't need vaccinating". We've said nothing, it isn't our place and it wouldn't change anything if we did say something. If our parents want to see them or not see them, it's up to them.

Saidtoomuch · 01/08/2021 17:19

Saidtoomuch

I would say "your body, your choice. DPs and I are double jabbed, so are unlikely to become ill, but please let us know - just in case - which songs you would like us to play at your funeral."

This is a really silly thing to say. You realise it’s not a case of vaccine or guaranteed death from the virus, right? Even before the vaccine the majority of cases were mild.

No it isn't a silly thing to say @bumbleymummy, its an opinion and its what I would say to a sibling. If that makes me a bitch then I'll own it, but you can't argue with the research that shows you are less likely to die of covid if you are double vaccinated against it.

Mantlemoose · 01/08/2021 17:21

Nothing you can/should do. Not your body, not your choice. If your parents want them to visit that's their choice just as its yours not to be in contact with your sibling.

Nuuktown · 01/08/2021 17:22

Nothing

NoiceDifferentUnusual · 01/08/2021 17:26

@Againstmachine

I agree it is cult like.

Not really you do realise insisiting everyone is vaccinated is equally cult like.

I've had both my vaccines but this fear of the unvaccinated is unhinged, you haven't got much confidence in the vaccine if so afraid.

In the example of my friend, I’ve never insisted she get vaccinated or vaccinate her children, but she judged me for getting vaccinated - a lemming apparently.
GoodForTheSoul · 01/08/2021 17:27

I'm confused. I thought the vaccine only protects the person who had it? Because vaccinated people still get and spread Covid. So why would you avoid unvaccinated people when you couldnpotentially be the one who gives them Covid? And they will be much worse off for it...

GrassIsRiz · 01/08/2021 17:28

@ChloeCrocodile

I just don't get drawn in to antivax conversations. I can't be doing with conspiracy theorist, fake science bullshit. But I also wouldn't pay any attention to a sibling who was trying to stop me seeing my own parents. IMO your behaviour is far worse. He is choosing his own medical treatments. Your parents are choosing to see their son. You are trying to control your brother and parents and ignoring their wishes.

Bodily autonomy is a red line for me, and I have no patience with people who try to bully or coerce others into medical treatments they don't want.

By all means stay away yourself if you are worried for yourself and/or your DH/DCs.

This, with bells on.
finalcall · 01/08/2021 17:29

I'd say nothing. All my family are double jabbed. We've got many people in the family who work for the NHS and also as doctors overseas who would be unamused if any of us hadn't had their jabs after all they've been through. The two friends who've caught Covid badly recently and been properly floored by it were both unvaccinated (hadn't got round to it, not anti). They didn't pass it onto their families who were vaccinated so really they only hurt themselves.

MareofBeasttown · 01/08/2021 17:31

@GoodForTheSoul

I'm confused. I thought the vaccine only protects the person who had it? Because vaccinated people still get and spread Covid. So why would you avoid unvaccinated people when you couldnpotentially be the one who gives them Covid? And they will be much worse off for it...
You are wrong.
User135644 · 01/08/2021 17:35

@BrutusMcDogface

I’m so angry with my sibling for putting my parents at risk. So very, very angry.

WWYD? Avoid him? Avoid them?!

Can’t believe he’s being so selfish!

Idiots. Without the vaccine we'd be in lockdown now, would they prefer that?
GoodForTheSoul · 01/08/2021 17:35

Care to elaborate? I know multiple people who have tested positive post vaccine. They've not been very ill of course. But the unvaccinated are really hurting themselves more if OP's parents are double jabbed.

alila · 01/08/2021 17:41

Currently going through this with my own DB and started a thread on it last weekend. He is bring extremely selfish and thinks the jabs are experimental poison and that the pandemic is a scam.

He's putting at risk our vulnerable elderly parents, his vulnerable wife and kids, and my DH is vulnerable too so DB cannot visit our house until he is jabbed.

But he says he is "at peace with his decision not to take an experimental vaccine".

A very sad and frustrating situation Sad

viviennedoesitagain · 01/08/2021 17:42

You accept that others have their own opinion and yours is no better or worse.

MareofBeasttown · 01/08/2021 17:50

@GoodForTheSoul I don;t disagree with your statement that the unvaccinated are hurting themselves, but they aren't hurting only themselves. I also disagree that the vaccine only protects the person who has had it. There is tons of data that shows vaccinated people are less likely to be infected and infect others ( which does not mean they have a zero chance of this) but I don't see the point in trotting it out again here 1.5 years into a pandemic.

Only on MN are anti -vaxx opinions the same as getting vaxxed, no better or worse!

Mangomammy · 01/08/2021 17:55

It’s up to the individual if they want to get a vaccine, any vaccine. I’d say you’re being disrespectful and they could have a number of reasons for not getting a covid vaccine right now.

NB - not getting one vaccine doesn’t make you “anti-vax” Hmm

silkience · 01/08/2021 18:00

I think your brother would be better off without this level of hysterical, completely OTT vilification in his life. So I would suggest you go with avoid.

Were you also calling the police on your neighbours and sharing pictures of packed beaches bleating about how SELFISH everyone is?

This pandemic has exposed something very disturbing in our society, and I find it terrifying how many people on this thread support your mindset.

BillieSpain · 01/08/2021 18:09

But if THEY are double jabbed, they are protected, he is the one who chooses not to be. Which is completely up to him.

And it IS a trial, emergency vaccine.

It is absolutely none of your business what an individual does.

FlyLight · 01/08/2021 18:10

God it really is all or nothing with people on here isn't it?! You do realise that not wanting this specific jab, or wanting to wait until there's more data, doesn't necessarily make one a tin foil hat wearing 5g conspiracy nutter don't you?

If the parents are jabbed then what's the issue? 2 people at work caught covid recently and passed it on to at least 5 others, all double jabbed. Nobody got particularly ill but clearly the jabs didn't stop them catching and transmitting. Your poor brother!

Anonawoman · 01/08/2021 18:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at OP's request.