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Original poster

What do you do if a family member is an anti-vaxxer?

379 replies

BrutusMcDogface · 01/08/2021 15:17

I’m so angry with my sibling for putting my parents at risk. So very, very angry.

WWYD? Avoid him? Avoid them?!

Can’t believe he’s being so selfish!

OP posts:
alreadytaken · 01/08/2021 20:04

The cult has invaded mumsnet, wonder if they were paid to do so - because IRL there are not this many of them.

Everyone knows that older people are more at risk from not getting a good immune response. Without knowing your parents age or medical information impossible to say how big their risk is but we all know the vaccines are not 100% effective and the anti-vaxers do increase the risk for everyone, not just themselves. So they are selfish and should only be seeing your parents outdoors from a safe distance.

This is one of many discussions about what the CDC got wrong, not that science makes a blind bit of difference to an anti-vaxer. mobile.twitter.com/sailorrooscout/status/1421111487020609537

Delta is very infectious, it is still racing through the unvaccinated. Therefore I'd suggest saying sorry I cant see you for the next couple of months - I'll see you when you've had covid, if you survive it, because you are very likely to get it soon.

AdoptedBumpkin · 01/08/2021 20:05

Not sure there is much you can do, especially if they buy into all the conspiracy theories.

Lostinacloud · 01/08/2021 20:08

Well considering you’re vaccinated and yet can still catch covid and pass it to your parents then you’d better never see them again either.

See how ridiculous that sounds? That’s what you’re effectively saying about your brother who isn’t really any more or less likely to infect your parents that you.

People have gone mad about this virus and the sooner it’s all over the better!

Spotthedog91 · 01/08/2021 20:09

@EmmaOvary ok ok... The science. Even so, why is it that so many people who are vaccinated are still contacting it and spreading it!!??

Dreamstate · 01/08/2021 20:09

They are not ANTI VAXXERS unless they refuse all vaccines. Stop following mainstream narrative to label people who are just anti covid vaccine as anti vaxxers which is completely different. If your anti vaxxer your against all vaccines!!

So unless the person you know refuses all vaccines then they are not an anti vaxxer!

At least get that bit right!

Againstmachine · 01/08/2021 20:13

The cult has invaded mumsnet, wonder if they were paid to do so - because IRL there are not this many of them.

Nope it hasn't, I'm fully vaxxed you are just making a statement on what someone has said

Spotthedog91 · 01/08/2021 20:13

@Dreamstate Amen! I'm not anti-vax.. I'm pregnant and my child will be vaccinated against all childhood illnesses. However, I am not planning on taking this vaccine. However, would never judge anyone for doing so.... I just wish we all respected one another's choices.

Workinghardeveryday · 01/08/2021 20:14

@BrutusMcDogface
I feel your anger.
My dp of 13 years won’t have it. We have 3 kids.
I am CEV and vaccinated but chances are it won’t have worked on me.
Can begin to tell you how this has affected our relationship.
He truly believes the vaccine will end up being worse than Covid.
I can’t force him to have it but it has really affected how I see his feelings towards me. Tells me he loves me all day long. That’s hardly love is it!!

MareofBeasttown · 01/08/2021 20:16

@riveted1

I genuinely don't understand this persistent view that vaccines are either 100% effective or totally useless, oft used as an argument against vaccination.
So much this. The persistent argument that the brother is as likely to spread Covid as the OP is doing my head in, defying all the data we have ( not counting the CDC which is still controversial and needs further analysis).
Spotthedog91 · 01/08/2021 20:18

@workinghardeveryday I too have more worries about the vaccine than I am covid. Don't get me wrong.. I don't believe some of the shit that's being said like it changing our DNA and tracking devices lol. However I do know more people directly in real life who have had side effects from the vaccine than people who have been seriously ill with covid.

NeedNewKnees · 01/08/2021 20:19

My Turkish SIL is an antivaxxer and so is her extended family. My kids gave her such a hard time about it when they last spoke to her.

I avoid the topic because I know I will want to rant at the sheer stupidity.

wasthataburp · 01/08/2021 20:19

What should you do? Sweet f*ck all, that's what. Oh, and mind your own business

EmmaOvary · 01/08/2021 20:21

@Spotthedog91 Most of the population are vaccinated now so it stands to reason that there will be more cases than before of the vaccinated having it. Eventually, most of the hospital cases will be vaccinated, because that's what most of the population will be. But this strain is also more prevalent because it's more virulent, and therefore spreading more in the general population, ie school kids etc. If there is more of it about then more people will get it, and some of those will be vaccinated.

Dreamstate · 01/08/2021 20:21

@NeedNewKnees

My Turkish SIL is an antivaxxer and so is her extended family. My kids gave her such a hard time about it when they last spoke to her.

I avoid the topic because I know I will want to rant at the sheer stupidity.

So she refuses all vaccines does she? Or just the covid one meaning she isn't anti vaxx but anti covid vaccine....
alreadytaken · 01/08/2021 20:21

If someone claims they are not anti-vax, just anti this one then quotes factually incorrect statements then they are clearly not well acquainted with the truth.

I repeat IRL the majority of adults are vaccinated - of course there could be a lot of teenagers being teenagers.....

EmmaOvary · 01/08/2021 20:25

@Spotthedog91 are they side effects, or are they temporary immune responses that show the vaccine is working? I don't know what you've witnessed in your circle, but I know of people feeling wiped out for a few days and having to take to their bed, that's the worst one. That's one person. Everyone else ranged from nothing at all, to very mild and short-lived effects, ie headaches, body aches etc (that was me).

Spotthedog91 · 01/08/2021 20:27

@alreadytaken I don't quote incorrect statements. I have only quoted my own truth. I have watched what's happened around me and based my decision not to have the covid vaccine on that. People always assume our decision is based on "lies told on social media".. That's not always the case.

Spotthedog91 · 01/08/2021 20:34

@EmmaOvary No. I've known people be wiped out from the vaccine, but that never worried me as thats no different to my son having a temperature after his MMR. I've known two people seriously effected with covid:

  1. My friend ended up in ICU - he has severe asthma 33 years old.
  2. My friend ended up on covid ward (Not ICU - no underlying head issues) 29 years old.

I know five people who have been effected by the vaccine.

  1. My best friend has been getting recurring nose bleeds (29 years old)
  2. My distant friend has stopped having periods (31 years old)
  3. My sister in law has been getting heart palpitations (30 years old)
  4. My husbands work colleague had a heart attack three days after vaccine (33 years old)
  5. My husbands old school friend is currently in ICU with a blood clot on the brain (33 years old). He had the vaccine 2 weeks ago

I have heard of other people being seriously effected by covid and also the vaccine. However, I do not quote them as I do not know them directly so wouldn't want to say that's definite truth

EmmaOvary · 01/08/2021 20:43

@Spotthedog91 I can see how you might be concerned based on those situations. Nobody can say for sure that they are or aren't related to the vaccine, of course, and it would be glib for me to just say they weren't. I don't know that. I have heard some anecdotal evidence of the vaccine affecting periods, however more in terms of them becoming heavier, that type of thing. Did that person have the jab recently?

I've just seen from another comment that you are pregnant. It is up to you, of course, and it is your body, but I was just wondering if you'd seen the advice from the midwifery council last week about pregnancy and the vaccine?

MondieBee · 01/08/2021 20:46

How is he putting your parents at so much risk? Presumably they're double jabbed. He's at the most risk? What's the point of anyone being vaccinated if even the vaccinated are at enormous risk if they're near anyone who isn't?

This is a genuine question. I'm not anti vax but if your parents are now protected against serious disease, whats the problem beyond your brothers own safety? I feel I'm missing something

blue12345 · 01/08/2021 20:50

@riveted1 Do you not think that the CDC may very well have additional information to the India study? It was a massive decision to bring back masks indoors for the vaccinated, so I doubt it was a decision they took lightly.

Quote from Fauci: Amount of virus in breakthrough delta cases 'almost identical' to unvaccinated

thehill.com/homenews/sunday-talk-shows/565831-fauci-amount-of-virus-in-breakthrough-delta-cases-almost-identical?amp

It's clear that the data on breakthrough infections in the US has not been collected accurately. Many states have yet to share any information on breakthrough cases.

Anecdotally, there have been many reports in the US media of multiple vaccinated members of hospitals/sports teams/event attendees contracting and spreading Covid in recent weeks.

Spotthedog91 · 01/08/2021 20:53

@EmmaOvary my friends period stopped her cycle after her vaccine. So once she had her vaccine she didn't have another period since. My other friend said someone she knew is having very heavy periods.. However I don't know this person so not sure on its truth.

Yes I've seen it :-) it did make me consider it and scare me a bit. I rang my midwife and she advised me to get it. I asked her how many women in my local hospital have had complications in their pregnancy due to covid and she said none. However there have been women across the country who have had complications. I am also part of a mummy group with over 300 women due in October (same time as me) and many of them have had covid with no complications.

Also I'm a bit cross with the statistic of "98% or pregnant women in hospital with covid are unvaccinated". We were advised not to have it until 28 weeks.. So most women who've been pregnant since the vaccine was classed as safe for pregnant women haven't had time to have the vaccine. All the women due around the same time as me have only just had their first, so I think that's a bit unfair. However, of course I'm not denying there are some pregnant women who have been effected and I'm obviously sorry for them.

I don't want to offend or argue with anyone.. I'm just trying trying to share my view so some people don't assume we're all nut jobs with tin foil hats on haha x

blue12345 · 01/08/2021 21:00

@Spotthedog91 It's nice to hear other people with similar concerns.

Like you, I loath the anti-vaxxer tag. My kids and I have had every vaccination going.

I read an excellent post somewhere about how pregnant women aren't allowed to eat patê, shellfish, or equally take many medications , but a new vaccine is somehow totally fine?

Also, like you have pointed out, if the hospitals were full to the brim with pregnant women dying
with Covid or their babies suffering complications, I would take my chances on a new vaccine. But as it stands, the risk appears minimal.

Mangomammy · 01/08/2021 21:02

@EmmaOvary
There have been no long term studies on any covid vaccine. No one can say for sure it won’t cause long term issues for mother/ baby. The advise is simply that there is no “evidence” that the vaccine can harm your baby, but that is because there is no long term data to get this evidence from.

EmmaOvary · 01/08/2021 21:02

@Spotthedog91 I don't think you're a nut job, you're trying to make a difficult decision based on very little information and I think you've been failed by this government. The chopping and changing you describe (28 weeks etc) is not great. I'm not sure, is it because the results of that American study on pregnant women came out? In any case, not reassuring for you when advice is changing.

It's a point worth remembering, you're right. that vaccine hesitancy is a spectrum. On the extreme end are the 'sheeple, Bill Gates can see your thoughts now, everyone will start to die in two years' crew, and at the other end are people who don't have answers to their questions. Shouting at everyone and lumping them in together isn't helpful to anyone. I need to remember that too! Good luck to you @Spotthedog91 on a happy and healthy pregnancy x