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Covid

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Original poster

Unvacinnated family

119 replies

shellstarbarley · 25/07/2021 10:13

My SIL and family (5 kids over 18) and partner have not had the vaccine and have no intention to. My eldest nephew's partner has which caused huge rifts within the family. Anyway it is my MIL's 70th birthday soon and we would like to organise a family get together everyone else in the family is double jabbed and no one is happy inviting 7 unvacinnated people to a gathering. MIL wants to totally exclude them - it is her party so her choice really. They live in an area where it is rife at the moment. You would like to think that everyone else has been double jabbed so we shouldn't get it too badly if we do pick it up. WWYD???

OP posts:

MareofBeasttown · 26/07/2021 17:29

LFTs are often not accurate , and a 70-year-old woman is perfectly entitled to make her own determination of risk. My 76-year-old mother is not seeing a brother- in-law who has refused to vaccinate. She could see him outside the house, but he is not willing to sit in her garden. His loss really.

Wellbythebloodyhell · 26/07/2021 18:46

@MareofBeasttown

Surely it's a loss to her too! Extremely sad families are being divided like this

XenoBitch · 26/07/2021 18:49

Her party, her rules. Although, the reason is sad and I hope there is a relationship to salvage after all of this.

Megasausagehead · 26/07/2021 18:50

Choices on both sides have consequences to both sides.

It's fair enough.

TheTallOakTrees · 26/07/2021 18:59

@Aquamarine1029

Your MIL doesn't want them there. It's her party, therefore they aren't invited.

It's her party, her choice really. Regardless of what others say it is up to her.

I hope she has a great party.

Lottie4 · 26/07/2021 19:05

I've actually said to DH, I wouldn't be comfortable with having someone socially in our house who hasn't been vaccinated, given there would be an increased chance of them having it and passing it on. His response was, we only socialise with people in our house who've been double jabbed (with exception of DD who has been very careful, her main risk seems to be through work), have windows open even if cold. It's been a real walking point here though, and everyone we know with exception of one have all be vaccinated, so it's not a problem. The person who hasn't has found it hard to get pregnant, lost every one up until this point. This is the closest she's got to having a baby, but still thinking along the lines of having the vaccine around 31/32 weeks so she's not such a risk to midwife during labour. At the moment though, she still wants to be extremely careful, distancing outside and we both do LFTs 2/3 beforehand.

whatthejiggeries · 26/07/2021 19:05

So is she banning all kids under 18 too? Because they carry the same risks as the over 18s? If she not it sounds like she's banning them based on their choice not to have the jab rather than the actual risk which is strange behaviour from a mother I think!

FflosFfantastig · 26/07/2021 19:13

It's sad that vaccinated people live in so much fear of the virus that they wouldn't allow any unvaccinated person even such as a child into their house ever again. That level of fear and paranoia must be quite paralysing.

MareofBeasttown · 26/07/2021 19:18

@Wellbythebloodyhell I think 'families divided' is a bit dramatic in my case. Every single person in my family who is eligible is vaxed. So the only person being left out of gatherings is the anti vaxxer brother in law who is 74, btw. Nobody is missing him frankly. His choice. His wife ( my mother's sister) is severely CEV and he still wont get it. My mom isn't losing any sleep over not seeing him.

aSofaNearYou · 26/07/2021 19:19

@FflosFfantastig

Yes, but also quite valid when you are vulnerable to the virus. Why do people insist in ignoring that?

canigooutyet · 26/07/2021 19:20

IF people banned me from their house because I cannot have the vaccine, I would wonder wtaf is wrong with them tbh. Isn't the point of the vaccine to help protect people like me?
I also wonder if they are going to be contacting SS to take their children away.
Never mind how they will cope when it's only the vulnerable and their carers that are getting the booster from the looks of things. Will this create yet another divide?

MareofBeasttown · 26/07/2021 19:24

I suppose the 'fear and paranoia" in letting unvaxxed people into your house is the same as the fear and paranoia of those who have refused the vax without medical reasons. Yes? Living with your own children is mandatory. Meeting refuseniks is extremely optional.

Original poster

shellstarbarley · 26/07/2021 19:25

I think she is more worried about the guilt she would feel if other members of the family or her friends picked up covid from the unvacinnated people. We are having 2 parties now one for her friends and the elderly realtives of a in her garden then a picnic/afternoon tea outside for SIL nieces and nephews, SIL is quite proud to not be vaccinated and has told everyone so other realtives can choose which party to artteend. Quite sad really as is making double the work and it is vaxxers v antivaxxers!!!

OP posts:

Micemakingclothes · 26/07/2021 19:28

@canigooutyet

IF people banned me from their house because I cannot have the vaccine, I would wonder wtaf is wrong with them tbh. Isn't the point of the vaccine to help protect people like me? I also wonder if they are going to be contacting SS to take their children away. Never mind how they will cope when it's only the vulnerable and their carers that are getting the booster from the looks of things. Will this create yet another divide?

Because we have a CEV household member, we couldn’t have you in our home, but that wouldn’t be personal. If there is a family event that we both wanted to attend, I would think we would talk and decide which one of us needed to be at that particular event more. Both being in bad positions, we would need to cooperate.

MareofBeasttown · 26/07/2021 19:29

That seems a sensible compromise and what I would do. Of course there are soma people who won't even consent to sit outside.

Wellbythebloodyhell · 26/07/2021 19:53

[quote MareofBeasttown]@Wellbythebloodyhell I think 'families divided' is a bit dramatic in my case. Every single person in my family who is eligible is vaxed. So the only person being left out of gatherings is the anti vaxxer brother in law who is 74, btw. Nobody is missing him frankly. His choice. His wife ( my mother's sister) is severely CEV and he still wont get it. My mom isn't losing any sleep over not seeing him.[/quote]
Ok maybe not so much divided in your scenario but in OPs case it's potentially a divide between mother and child/grandchildren. I really hope it doesn't break down relationships, rifts are very hard to mend the longer they go on, I've experienced it with my own family (not covid related) it's sad that some that we once cared for are near virtual strangers now

roguetomato · 26/07/2021 20:00

@canigooutyet

IF people banned me from their house because I cannot have the vaccine, I would wonder wtaf is wrong with them tbh. Isn't the point of the vaccine to help protect people like me? I also wonder if they are going to be contacting SS to take their children away. Never mind how they will cope when it's only the vulnerable and their carers that are getting the booster from the looks of things. Will this create yet another divide?

I think your situation is totally different, because if you are cv/cev yourself, you are more likely to be taking precautions. It maybe different for people who chose not to, some because of fear or anxiety of new vaccine, and those are more likely to take precautions too, so similar to people who can't have vaccine. In these cases, lft may be enough to minimise the risk.

But if they chose not to get vaccinated because of typical anti- vax reasons, they are more likely to disregard the precautions and more likely to be a risk. And in this case, I'd rather not want them attend if I was a host, because of the inaccuracy of lft.

People take vaccine for many reasons. To protect ourselves, to protect the community, and ultimately end this pandemic. Those who can't take vaccine because of some legitimate reason are those who I want to protect, I'm sure it's same for many pro-vaccine people.

User135644 · 26/07/2021 20:04

if they wanted to go they could get the jab.

They're too brainwashed a lot of these people. Bunch of zombies on Trafalgar Square cheering on that mad ex-nurse and David Icke.

aSofaNearYou · 26/07/2021 20:32

@canigooutyet

IF people banned me from their house because I cannot have the vaccine, I would wonder wtaf is wrong with them tbh. Isn't the point of the vaccine to help protect people like me? I also wonder if they are going to be contacting SS to take their children away. Never mind how they will cope when it's only the vulnerable and their carers that are getting the booster from the looks of things. Will this create yet another divide?

Your situation is totally different, you don't have a choice and as another poster said are likely to be taking precautions. There is a strong narrative with the kind of people who CHOOSE not to take the vaccine, and also feel strongly about "living with it and getting on with life as before", ie, taking risks, that they are being excluded and should take umbrance if their relatives won't risk their lives to see them. That is unfair, it's a huge thing to expect of someone.

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