Unvacinnated family

[shellstarbarley]

My SIL and family (5 kids over 18) and partner have not had the vaccine and have no intention to. My eldest nephew's partner has which caused huge rifts within the family. Anyway it is my MIL's 70th birthday soon and we would like to organise a family get together everyone else in the family is double jabbed and no one is happy inviting 7 unvacinnated people to a gathering. MIL wants to totally exclude them - it is her party so her choice really. They live in an area where it is rife at the moment. You would like to think that everyone else has been double jabbed so we shouldn't get it too badly if we do pick it up. WWYD???

CoopsMalloops

You can still pass it on and get it when you’re vaccinated

Yes.

This.

With any disease.

But people like to wind themselves, and others up.

Stupid.

@Wellbythebloodyhell

If you exclude part of the family now its probably safe to say you've excluded them forever it would be hard reconnect later. I certainly wouldn't want to reconnect at all if my family cut me off for excerising my right to choose if I had a medical procedure or not

I always wonder if people that post comments like this are the one's choosing not to get vaccinated and they feel defensive about it. She's not excluding them due to them exercising their right to choose, she's excluding them because of the knock on effect of that choice on her. You can question whether it's worth it for the level it reduces the risk, but it seems obtuse not to see how the decision is not about someone making a choice that only effects themself.

Obviously MIL isn’t close to them if she plans to exclude them for this.
Anyone can pass it on vaccinated or not. If she really wanted a covid safe party and all her family members there she would be asking people to test beforehand.

@aSofaNearYou I'm double vaccinated thank you very much

Eek. Tricky situation.

Haven’t met anyone yet who hasn’t had or planning to have the vaccine. I guess it’ll happen one day.

Thanks for your views. Quite a mixed bag really. It is sad as she hasn't seen SIL and grandkids for 2 years now due to the pandemic. She is 69 and vulnerable and lost 2 friends and a cousin to covid in the midst of the 2nd wave so she is very scared of the consequences. I agree it is their choice but they will have to suffer the consequences. MIL has a few elderly vulnerable friends who she would like to attend her party and if they contracted covid from her daughter and grandchildren she wouldn't forgive herself. I think the only option is to maybe have 2 parties one for MIL's friends and family and then a seperate gathering for SIL and family. My niece and nephews are in their 20's so always out and about mixing with others,

@shellstarbarley

Thanks for your views. Quite a mixed bag really. It is sad as she hasn't seen SIL and grandkids for 2 years now due to the pandemic. She is 69 and vulnerable and lost 2 friends and a cousin to covid in the midst of the 2nd wave so she is very scared of the consequences. I agree it is their choice but they will have to suffer the consequences. MIL has a few elderly vulnerable friends who she would like to attend her party and if they contracted covid from her daughter and grandchildren she wouldn't forgive herself. I think the only option is to maybe have 2 parties one for MIL's friends and family and then a seperate gathering for SIL and family. My niece and nephews are in their 20's so always out and about mixing with others,

How is MIL going to make sure the vaccinated people she invites are covid free??

Does you MIL plan on cutting them off forever? That's potentially what could happen here

@Savannahnanana

As others have said, it’s her party so it’s up to her but I find it incredibly sad that she feels the need to divide the family like this. As a mother, I can’t contemplate why she is thinking like that.

Because she is 70 and catching it when you’re 70 is scarier than for someone our age?

@Remmy123

Your MIL sounds like a delight .. any vaccinated person there can give her covid just as much as the unvaccinated!!

Well no they couldn’t. That’s the point. Vaccination afford protection to the vaccinee and reduces transmission.

I think it’s fair enough.

I hope this doesn't turn into a permanent rift between MIL & others... but it's not really your place to patch up their relationship.

How many people would be attending Birthday party not counting the uninvited ILs? If someone really doesn't want covid, should not attend large indoor social gatherings.

As for potentially cutting them off forever - they are likely to get the Delta version of covid quite soon and MIL may be happy to see them once they have recovered.

@Fre3DoM

The soviet union stopped freedom of movement for healthy people and they also foced injections on people. How many millions died? Wake up and learn some history people.

Who’d you vote for at the last election?

Vaccination afford protection to the vaccineeandreduces transmission.

It doesn't eliminate it completely though and I think a lot of people assume it does. The safest way to ensure no transmission at a gathering would be for everyone to test on the day.

In the last 2 decades the establishment has completely destroyed Libya, Iraq, Syria and Afghanistan, killed millions of men women and children and now you people want to believe they care about your lives. Wake up please.

[quote Wellbythebloodyhell]@aSofaNearYou I'm double vaccinated thank you very much [/quote]
Well that's why I said I wondered!

Far better asking everyone to do a lateral flow day of party. I’m double jabbed and currently have Covid

In the last 2 decades the establishment has completely destroyed Libya, Iraq, Syria and Afghanistan, killed millions of men women and children and now you people want to believe they care about your lives. Wake up please.

How are the vaccines destroying us?

I wouldn’t knowingly sit in a room full of unvaccinated individuals.

I would say it is your MIL's choice but also that all guests should do a lateral flow test before attending. We all do this before visiting my elderly parents and in-laws.

Hope it gets resolved and you all have a lovely time.

@shellstarbarley

Thanks for your views. Quite a mixed bag really. It is sad as she hasn't seen SIL and grandkids for 2 years now due to the pandemic. She is 69 and vulnerable and lost 2 friends and a cousin to covid in the midst of the 2nd wave so she is very scared of the consequences. I agree it is their choice but they will have to suffer the consequences. MIL has a few elderly vulnerable friends who she would like to attend her party and if they contracted covid from her daughter and grandchildren she wouldn't forgive herself. I think the only option is to maybe have 2 parties one for MIL's friends and family and then a seperate gathering for SIL and family. My niece and nephews are in their 20's so always out and about mixing with others,

If I had vulnerable people to consider at a party (I don't), I think

• the people mixing heavily are more of a concern than their vaccination status

• it's to the vulnerable to assess their own risk

• vaccinated people still get & transmit coronavirus

• If you think of it like swimming lessons - it won't stop you falling in but it'll help you not die if you do. And it will stop the NHS being overwhelmed, which is the main reason for it being encouraged so strongly

• don't have a party at the tail end (🤞) of a pandemic and expect everyone to be of the same mindset as you

2 parties seems like a reasonable option if MIL is comfortable with this.

I think I would go with what what mil wants. It wouldn't be nice to have her feeling uncomfortable at her own party. If they are all too scared for whatever reasons to be vaccinated I don't think you can get up on your high horse about someone else being too scared for whatever reasons they are scared.