Looks like today is the day…

[VaccineAnxiety]

I don’t think this will end well for me. I just need a place to scream which I can’t do at home..

The NHS treats everyone, regardless of whether they’ve made sensible health choices or not.

@PurpleDaisies we dont all think the same. I agree with her dh. She needs the jab if they ever want to return to their home country, if nothing else.

[quote Carrott21]**@PurpleDaisies we dont all think the same. I agree with her dh. She needs the jab if they ever want to return to their home country, if nothing else.[/quote]
That makes it ok for him to verbally abuse her?

Hi,if you don’t want it don’t have it.
Your husband is being unkind when he should be understanding and support you.
I have had both jabs but my husband won’t.I haven’t even commented on his decision.He isn’t scared,he is a conspiracy theorist.
I had to have my jabs secretly because he will go mad.This made me scared and anxious.
I was lucky and had support from my friend.
What I am trying to say is try to mentally distance yourself from him and find support elsewhere to make your decision.

@Carrott21 I’m a very nervous flyer/I suffe throughout the flight- can’t eat drink so I’m dehydrated- cry all the way through- cannot sleep and I keep throwing up due to migraines

My husband views anxiety as something I’m willing to happen- he thinks I should just snap out of it

The whole plan of flying back home us talked about with no consideration for the fact that vaccine or no vaccine I cannot do it that easily - but that doesn’t matter, I should snap out if it

I tried cbt over the lockdown- he was mocking that saying how someone over the screen is ever going to help you

He view us there is a question then there is an answer, very binary

I gave an issue go to the doctor take some pills and deal with it…

Also for everyone saying this is tough love I understand there needs to be tough love involved for certain issues - addictions etc but think of this

If I wrote a thread saying I made dinner and my husband shouted at me saying it’s not taking very nice would you take that as tough love for me to brush on my cooking skills?

This is what this vaccine has done- you can be scared, unsure, uncomfortable doesn’t matter label them as a conspiracy looney and shove it down them..,this is not right

Is this the second time you've tried to get the vaccine? It sounds familiar.

Just don't get it. If I honestly thought I wouldn't wake up the next day I wouldn't have it.

I'm not going to comment on the vaccine and whether you should/shouldn't get it. I'll echo previous posters in saying that you should seek some help for your anxiety again, I know you said you tried CBT but I wonder if your husband's comments affected how effective that was.
Do you feel safe at home? I don't think it sounds as though your husband is treating you well at all. Women's Aid can help you leave him safely. Do you have friends you can speak to for support? Or parents from your daughter's school or nursery? Even if you don't know them well. I'd be happy to help out a mum from my kids class if I could.

This is what this vaccine has done- you can be scared, unsure, uncomfortable doesn’t matter label them as a conspiracy looney and shove it down them..,this is not right

The vaccine hasn't done anything but help get us out of this mess. It's your extreme anxiety that's doing this.

You need help.

Although your husband sounds rather unpleasant I imagine he is also feeling incredibly frustrated as it sounds like your anxiety has a major impact on both of your lives and that’s hard work for him too.

I can’t believe all the posters queuing up to excuse the husband’s behaviour here.

@PurpleDaisies

I can’t believe all the posters queuing up to excuse the husband’s behaviour here.

Same. It is because it is about the vaccine, and on MN is acceptable to bully and be borderline abusive to get people to have it.

You urgently need help with your anxiety.

The level of anxiety you're describing must be extremely difficult to have and also very difficult for the people around you.

I have only just read this thread and am sorry for you. Sorry that you have built up such a fear of something that would have been of benefit to you and your family. Even if you are a reluctant flyer you have put yourself in a situation where you will probably not be able to return home. How will you feel when your DH and DD go without you?

Please seek urgent help for your anxiety. You have this out of all proportion. I had both AZ jabs and had no side effects, not even a sore arm. My DS is needle phobic but has had one Pfizer jab, only a slight sore arm, and is now desperate to get his 2nd one so that he will not be excluded from anything. It really isn't a big deal. Good luck to you.

[quote VaccineAnxiety]@Skybluepinkgiraffe yes atleast it felt like I’ve sorted as much as I can- written a will last week , ordered all school staff for my daughter - I’m trying now to distance myself from her so that I don’t feel too sad about leaving her.[/quote]
Ok you had my sympathy until you said you'd started distancing yourself from your daughter. What a shitty thing to do to her.

OP, we're you not scared to take a flight to the UK( I am assuming you took a flight)? How did you manage to overcome your fear at that point?

were you* I meant to say..

Do you have other relatives or friends in this country? It might benefit you to take a physical break from your DH for some time. You can then use the time to work on your mental health; living with someone who shouts when you're frightened is really not going to help anyone, never mind when you have anxiety anyway. It is hard enough to work on your mental health without someone being nasty, especially the one person who should be in your corner. Once you feel calmer, then you can address if the relationship will work for you, as well as whether you want to be vaccinated or not.
A couple of links for you, I suggest you call both for a chat to find out what support is available to you, there will be plenty: www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/ and www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/.

I'm worried that your relationship may be abusive. It's hard to be sure without knowing more, but your husband sounds controlling and critical. Being in an abusive relationship can worsen anxiety. Can you talk to a friend, GP or counsellor in private about it?

I've personally chosen to have the pfizer vaccine and believe it's safer than the risk of covid. I also think, as you're aware, that your fears are exagerrated due to your anxiety, and not a realistic perception of the risk. But no-one should be forcing or coercing you into a vaccine - this should be your choice.

@WaltzingTilda yes I did take a flight when I came her but that was a different me- I didn’t even know what anxiety was. I was a happy hopeful and not anxious individual- that me is long gone so what I did then is almost a distant memory

@MRex I use the mind app - I have no one in this country- we both don’t

Hello @VaccineAnxiety. We're sorry you're feeling this way. We echo the posters here who are encouraging you to seek real life help for your anxiety. You can also take a look at our webguide here for some more links.

We don't feel this thread is helping you now and so we're going to close it to new posts. Best wishes from MNHQ.