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Stuck in a loop no matter what we do.

34 replies

3asAbird · 14/07/2021 14:30

Anyone else feel like we in never ending cycle.
Collective responsibility relying on others to do right thing will fail especially if we get rid all legal restrictions.

So far last 18 months we have been a family that followed the rules
We hardly seen family and freinds
We had no parties
Mostly go Essential shopping/ school work or dog walk.
Cleaned door handles and clothes frequently.
Never quarantined post of disinfectant food shop and always went to supermarket not online as none of us cev so never wanted take any slots away from anyone who needed them.
So we mostly stayed home protect others and nhs.
We always try and socially distance and wear mask.
We regularly tested 3/6 in house done pcr tests and everyone except toddler has done regular lft tests.
Both myself and husband had 1 jab booked as soon as we could took ages to get 40s done locally but my 15 year old and soon to be 12year old will be taking a public bus to high school sept and not be allowed choice to vaccinate.

Now rules changing we will continue to wear masks, distance if we can and loads handwashing and cleaning.
Husband works non essential retail where they all jabbed going to contine to wear masks and test if have symptoms so feel his workplace lower risk.

We will be cautious over summer meeting family and freinds outdoors.
Ensuring we have least 2 weeks supply food in house and lft tests.

None of us family 6 caught covid yet.
The biggest risk comes from schools.
Will have 2 at high school, 1 primary and 1 nursery school this September.

My local area covid rates are huge work than 1st or 2nd wave.
Local a and e struggling already and only summer.
Getting appointments with gp still impossible.

By biggest worries and frustration is spent so long avoiding covid doing the right thing feels inevitable.
Even 2 jabs won't stop me getting covid, feeling pretty rough or passing it onto others.
So feel like we less likely see grandparents and older relatives this autumn/ winter.
That the local hospitals will struggle
That we still won't be able see face to face after ringing hundred times.
That if any of us catch thats us all isolation at home 10days as assume whole household still self isolates as close contact meaning husband misses work and we potentially losing income .
Also will be doing some online remote learning or will school give up providing that as assume if education staff or pupils get covid or someone in their household does they have stay at home.

So summarise

Fair chance lots have self isolate this autumn winter.
Rising case numbers, hospital admission and deaths will follow.
The NHS, schools and other services may well be short staffed.
If gets realy bad we back to lockdown again.
The vaccines may weaken links but not sever.
They don't stop you getting ill or transmitting.
We not sure how long immunity lasts.
The vaccines rollout only really possibly due to so many volunteers.
If we end up where we began some will wonder what's the point.

Why do people on news say this is exit wave 3rd wave..
Could there not be 4th or 5th.

Skeptical will get back to normal this year or next.
Despite doing all the right things other than not catching covid theres no rewards.
The kids education will de disrupted for 3rd academic year..
Doubt I be able to do school tours as have apply for year 7 place and reception.

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/07/2021 14:33

Unfortunately l think like this. I don’t see a way out.

The west might achieve some lev of normality but it affects the whole world. And foreign travel just makes it spread faster.

Cosybelles · 14/07/2021 14:55

Eventually the evidence that the vaccine helps will be strong enough for more people to relax. Some people have already relaxed. Some aspects of life will be adjusted for a while yet, but either they will go back to normal or we will get used to the new way. We're just trying to take each day as it comes and not worry too much about the future. Easier said than done.

HugoToWin · 14/07/2021 15:07

We are the same. Families like yours and mine and making sacrifices for those with less of a conscience.

Bobholll · 14/07/2021 15:21

Get out & live. You sound scared. Let your children enjoy summer. You can hug & see friends & family, you can go out to eat, go to the cinema, go to softplay, go swimming, the theatre, indoor trampoline parks .. all the lovely things you can do for yourselves and/or with kids. Life is pretty normal now for me, I don’t feel stuck in a loop. I’m out living life to the max available at the mo. My diary is chokka, I cannot tell you how fab it is to be out socialising with friends, eating dinner, lunches, even had a few afternoon teas.. and having fun family weekends packed with activities indoor & out. All within ‘the rules’ on the whole although I’ve long forgotten the rule of 6 & children counting towards that. I regularly meet up with 3,4,5 mum friends & our multiple children. But I’m not out having a massive party, it’s just 5 adults and maybe 6 pre-schoolers.

Right now, I’m choosing not to worry about the future. What will be will be. I’m not a worrier in general & I don’t see the point of wasting time worrying about what might happen to the detriment of enjoying life in the moment. I’ll cross that bridge if & when things change in Autumn.

Please, please just go enjoy life as much as you can. Tomorrow isn’t promised.

30degreesandmeltinghere · 14/07/2021 15:37

We have played by the rules..
For seems like years.....
Double vaccinated.. Still caught it...
Dc been mask wearing, in bubbles at school, not seeing anyone outside of school, still caught it...
Minefield what we do now...

3asAbird · 14/07/2021 16:43

@Bobholll

Get out & live. You sound scared. Let your children enjoy summer. You can hug & see friends & family, you can go out to eat, go to the cinema, go to softplay, go swimming, the theatre, indoor trampoline parks .. all the lovely things you can do for yourselves and/or with kids. Life is pretty normal now for me, I don’t feel stuck in a loop. I’m out living life to the max available at the mo. My diary is chokka, I cannot tell you how fab it is to be out socialising with friends, eating dinner, lunches, even had a few afternoon teas.. and having fun family weekends packed with activities indoor & out. All within ‘the rules’ on the whole although I’ve long forgotten the rule of 6 & children counting towards that. I regularly meet up with 3,4,5 mum friends & our multiple children. But I’m not out having a massive party, it’s just 5 adults and maybe 6 pre-schoolers.

Right now, I’m choosing not to worry about the future. What will be will be. I’m not a worrier in general & I don’t see the point of wasting time worrying about what might happen to the detriment of enjoying life in the moment. I’ll cross that bridge if & when things change in Autumn.

Please, please just go enjoy life as much as you can. Tomorrow isn’t promised.

Bob holl. Not scared just frustrated. I'm actually in well deserved self catered family holiday in South west we canceled holiday and moved from last year. Not bothered about going abroad glad we managed get away as my son had 2 lots isolations and daughter 1 isolations 6weeks so we pretty sick of our house and garden. We went to beach yesterday. Today sadly was unable book swimming at all as apparently holiday makers book swimming months in advance I had no idea as last came 3 years ago. Its seems quiet as term time. Booked horse riding, outdoor pub beer garden and theme park thankfully all before freedom day Monday 19th.

After next week I think we will be more cautious.
Kids have 3days left of term .

My kids do extra curricular instruments, dance and cricket.
My eldest misses cricket practice Sunday and one if team just been announced postive. So looks like whole team have isolate but only told everyone today Samantha missed first 3 days out of the 10.
I was a bit of rebel removed 1 child from school week before holiday.
Her siblings were self isolating anyway as close contacts and all our daily lft were negative.
Half my daughters school were off anyway so think heads given up and raised fine as pulled her out 2 weeks 10 days 20sessions but im past caring about attendance.

I hate fact I'm in school carpark and get text do not come in bubble burst.
I dread any emails from school
I hate the uncertainty.
I'm bit scared plan and book anything in case any if us gets covid or has to self isolate.
1 cricket parent said cant wait until this is all over I assume they think 16th August.
But after that you still have self isolate if you or your kids get covid and the loosening of restrictions mean you have a greater chance of getting covid.

I can control a little over summer where we go how many we see ,indoor or outdoors.
But come sept I feel the source biggest risk be schools bringing covid home.
I want them to have an education.
But feel autumn/, winter will be hard.
I suspect people without kids will have much more freedom..
Right now it's shit for schools and parents.

I worry about elder gcses as year 11 sept and no ideas if Exams go ahead..
If 3rd child will have a shit year 6 like the 2nd one.

My parents both medically vulnerable double jabbed but in area of low covid and we live in area of high covid over 500 per 100k.

Read 1st jab only 10% effective we yet to get 2nd that takes 21 days so basically not double vaccinated until start of sept anyway and even if double jabbed government sending mixed messages of enjoy freedom but be cautious.

I do think depends where you live on how normal the last 12 months have been.
We will continue do fun outdoor things this summer, try and distance and wear masks.

Being cautious different to being scared.
I'm somewhere in the middle I guess
I don't want go hell for leather freedom this summer with do what you want if means im home schooling or locked down again this autumn.
This all or nothing approach feels wreckless.
I am as frustrated as next person seeing thousands watch sports whilst not going to sports day.
We have a useless education secretary that doesn't want to make schools more covid secure.

None if us actively want to get ill.
Trying avoid covid 18months then told qell if you catch it now its OK you young you won't die

OP posts:
NannyAndJohn · 14/07/2021 16:46

We're in this for the long haul, unfortunately.

Going round and round in circles.

Stuck  in a loop  no matter what we do.
IndiaMay · 14/07/2021 16:53

When is the right time to end lockdown then @NannyAndJohn?

NannyAndJohn · 14/07/2021 16:59

Lockdown ended months ago.

GlencoraP · 14/07/2021 17:01

@Bobholll you sound as if you have only pre schoolers or at least not exam aged children and no older relatives for whom you are responsible . It’s a lot more complicated when you know you have to regularly support vulnerable people or when you gave dc who you need to keep
In school for exams . I feel like a jenga game constantly balancing the needs of each person. I can’t afford to have to isolate because our parents rely on us equally so cannot afford to get ill and possibly infect them.

ClaudiaWankleman · 14/07/2021 17:03

None if us actively want to get ill.

Of course not. I do think a lot of people do think that the chance and risk of getting ill is worth the trade off of lifting restrictions, however.

I don't really understand or agree with your 'all or nothing' approach comment. We have vaccinations which vastly reduce the risk to the whole of society, and are showing that they are working. When you consider that, the picture is much more nuanced.

ClaudiaWankleman · 14/07/2021 17:04

Lockdown ended months ago.

When is the right time to return to the legal freedoms we all had at the beginning of Feb last year @NannyAndJohn ?

PaulaPetunia · 14/07/2021 17:06

I'm far more relaxed than last year about covid as our chances of needing medical care are slashed after vaccination.
Plus I know now to meet up outside/ sit by open windows and that I don't need to worry about surfaces. I'm not setting out to catch it but accept we probably will.
Back to school, well with my teenager I have my concerns but we'll see where we are then.

Doublestar · 14/07/2021 17:10

So maybe just try to enjoy yourself as much as you can this summer? - that's what I plan to do.
We probably are all going to catch it at some point like flu/cold/other viruses. The government know this and have admitted there isn't much more they can do. You're vaccinated so will probably be fine - kids are fine too and rarely very ill with it. You may have had it already and been symptomless. I understand you worrying about your parents but hopefully they'll be ok if they're cautious and are vaccinated.

I don't believe schools will continue with whole year/bubble isolations come September, just the child who has tested positive will isolate.

You sound like you have some health anxiety issues. You've done all you can, great - it's out of your hands so stop worrying. That's the way I see it. I don't fret over stuff I have no control over. Il deal with whatever happens in winter if/when it happens.

Ifitquacks · 14/07/2021 17:11

@NannyAndJohn

Lockdown ended months ago.
For some. Not for those whose family live abroad or those who make their living from the hospitality/entertainment industry for example. When do you suggest we get our full freedoms back then?
TheVampiresWife · 14/07/2021 17:20

Covid is endemic. Infections will probably never be brought under control (what constitutes 'under control' anyway?) permanently, just as flu infections can never be fully controlled. However, like flu, vaccinations will prevent huge numbers of deaths of the like we saw last year/winter. And therapeutics are improving all the time.

It will, unfortunately, become just another disease that those of us who are CV/CEV will have to be vigilant against. But as understanding of it increases, so the dangers will decrease - a year ago we didn't have vaccines, for example. Covid is less deadly than it was (screenshot from the BBC gives an idea of how much less so) and will continue to be so.

Stuck  in a loop  no matter what we do.
Chosennone · 14/07/2021 17:49

Focus on the positives. The situation with schools is nearly ending. September will be relatively normal. Positive cases won't burst bubbles anymore, it will just trigger regular testing of contacts. The vaccine programme is doing amazing things. We recently had Covid and I feel so much better now. DH felt a bit ropey for 2 days but could still eat and loz around watching telly, I was asymptomatic, maybe a bit tired and the kids were negative! I know its not going to be that easy for everyone but it will for the vast majority.
This is as good as we're going to get. Hopefully people will keep wearing masks out of repsect for the vulnerable.

LondonJax · 14/07/2021 18:53

Assuming it arrives and stays in place, we will not have to self isolate from 16th August if we come in close contact with someone. That's double vaccinated and kids in school/college. Although, of course, that doesn't stop you actually catching it.

But, assuming it's like it is currently in our local secondary school, where we have 2 positive cases at the moment and a total of 21 people having to isolate, only the two with Covid will have to if it were 16th August. The others would have to take a PCR test (maybe multiples I don't know the details) but they can carry on if those prove negative.

Hopefully that'll stop so many isolations for kids doing exams and will keep most kids in school which mean parents can carry on working.

I presume that same rule applies if DH goes down with Covid after 16th August - DS and I would be able to get out and about based on a clear PCR test as DS is 14 and I'm double vaxxed.

NannyAndJohn · 15/07/2021 00:24

@ClaudiaWankleman

Lockdown ended months ago.

When is the right time to return to the legal freedoms we all had at the beginning of Feb last year @NannyAndJohn ?

Who knows?

Not for the foreseeable, that's for sure.

If we'd gone for Zero Covid back in February 2020 then we'd have been safe to open up yonks ago.

XenoBitch · 15/07/2021 00:28

A few of the measures you said you have are still following have not been in place for a long time. Honestly, if you are not going to non-essential shops or seeing friends/family, that is on you and no one else. Guidelines about those have been gone for months. You wont get a medal for still following them.

ClaudiaWankleman · 15/07/2021 07:40

If we'd gone for Zero Covid back in February 2020 then we'd have been safe to open up yonks ago.

There’s not a single country which has managed to pursue a zero COVID strategy and retain all the freedoms they had pre COVID.

Not for the foreseeable, that's for sure.

Why so sure?

Ifitquacks · 15/07/2021 07:56

If we'd gone for Zero Covid back in February 2020 then we'd have been safe to open up yonks ago

Like Australia, which is in lockdown again?

SummerTimeIsLovely · 15/07/2021 08:16

You’re very focussed on yourself.
I notice you say it’s shit for parents with young kids - I get that.

But it’s also been shit for students - online Uni for a year - isolating in student residencies away from family and with the Uni not even bothering to check they’re ok.

Young adults who cannot get jobs and are back living with parents when they should be starting independent lives. Again separated from friends they made at Uni/ no longer knowing people in their local area. Pretty shit when your 23 and relying on your 50+ year old parents for a social life.

You really need to get realistic about this and make the most of summer.

It will go on a while, but this inward looking attitude of yours is going to be more damaging to you and your children than anything Covid throws at us.

Letsbeeavenuee · 15/07/2021 08:32

I try and just live now. I've kept my life very minimal. We've not left the local area. We've just done tons of walking and not been to anyone's houses. I have not had the vaccine yet and I believe it's my choice. I am being constantly harrassed by my parents and they told me eventually it will get me and if I die my kids won't have a mum. My parents are terrified. It's extreme how people are being. Don't get me wrong there's many people who are vunerable and the elderly etc. I also know it's getting young people. But it's rare for it to be bad. That doesn't cancel it out.

I live My life based on anything could happen to anyone. We don't have control over many things. Cancers. Loosing a pregnancy. Catching a virus. The weather. But we keep living.

I think we need to be hygienic but start living.

My son's 3 and started mixing again in march. Got him in with a childminder. He's had two awful coughs. A bad cold. Tonsolitis. A really bad stomach bug. All because he's not been mixing and getting exposure. We have got to start living again.

TheVampiresWife · 15/07/2021 08:40

@NannyAndJohn well, zero covid isn't going to happen now, unfortunately. And even if we had gone for it in February last year, it wouldn't have stayed at zero for long. It's a pointless argument.

That being the case, when is the right time to open up? Now, when hospitalisations are far lower than in previous waves when infection rates were as high as they are currently/school holidays almost upon us/no extra winter pressure on the NHS or shall we wait until the autumn, when schools are open and respiratory illness season is in full swing? I mean, how much pressure do you want to put on the NHS?

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