Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Would you go to an August wedding?

158 replies

bendmeoverbackwards · 11/07/2021 10:33

Been invited to a wedding early August that was rearranged from last year.

It’s a large wedding being held indoors in a hotel.

I’m excited to go but a bit nervous. Dh and I are both double jabbed and I imagine most of the guests are too.

Just the thought of a large group of people indoors is a bit worrying.

Or maybe we need to get on with life 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
duffeldaisy · 11/07/2021 12:41

"How low do you need cases to get so you feel ‘safe’? I just think you need to be prepared for that not happening tor a very long time."

Well, ideally a lot lower than now, at average of over 30,000 per day.
And as the government themselves have said possibly 100,000 per day in the next month or so, most definitely lower than that.

In Australia, there are lockdowns for cases in single figures. It is possible to do things differently. It doesn't have to be so soon, and it doesn't have to be all or nothing for restrictions.

MarianneUnfaithful · 11/07/2021 12:44

Yes.

PattyPan · 11/07/2021 12:46

If it was quite a small wedding then maybe but not a big one unless I was really close to the couple (like it was my sister or something)

TheKeatingFive · 11/07/2021 12:47

Well, ideally a lot lower than now, at average of over 30,000 per day.And as the government themselves have said possibly 100,000 per day in the next month or so, most definitely lower than that.

That’s a bit vague. I suspect you’ll be waiting a long time.

In Australia, there are lockdowns for cases in single figures. It is possible to do things differently. It doesn't have to be so soon, and it doesn't have to be all or nothing for restrictions.

Clearly the U.K. isn’t adopting the same approach as Australia and isn’t going to now. All restrictions involve costs, except arguably masks. With vaccines in play, the equation changes, we’ll have to see where the equilibrium lies now, but this is a new phase of pandemic management and it will be very different.

LilyPond2 · 11/07/2021 12:49

What I can't understand is that some people can't seem to grasp the idea that other people can have a lower level of risk tolerance than them without them being "wrong". Very little in life is 100% safe, but for most risks in life we accept that people have different levels of risk tolerance, eg some people are happy to go on holiday to places with much lower safety standards than the UK and very basic healthcare facilities. Others wouldn't want to take that level of risk. It's not that either set of people is "wrong". Personally, in places where Covid weekly infection rates are running at rates of more than one in a hundred people, I don't think that it's extreme risk aversion to decide that you want to avoid crowded indoor places where possible. I understand that other people may want to live their lives exactly as they did pre-Covid and take a "what will be will be" approach to catching the virus. However, I think that "learning to live with the virus" includes being understanding of the fact that (as with all other risks in life) different people may have a different attitude to you regarding what is an acceptable level of Covid risk.

duffeldaisy · 11/07/2021 12:51

It's not at all vague. I follow the stats very closely, including local ones, so have an idea of what's going on, and you can tell from the number of people around you who have it/are isolating because of it. And right now it is not good.
We don't need to have all these cases. This is the result of bad choices.
Yes, maybe I will have to wait a long time. It's depressing. But there isn't much choice now.

BonnesVacances · 11/07/2021 12:54

What I can't understand is that some people can't seem to grasp the idea that other people can have a lower level of risk tolerance than them without them being "wrong".

Probably because someone's lower risk level tolerance can impact on someone else's outcomes. It's not just a case of whether someone is ok to accept the risk of catching it themselves. It's the knock-on effect this has on others.

Some people can't understand or accept that many people only care about how it affects them. They expect or hope that they might consider other people too.

One of the downsides of this pandemic is that it has exposed those whose main concern is themselves, which makes people who see and consider the wider impact feel uncomfortable and disappointed in them.

TheKeatingFive · 11/07/2021 12:57

It's not at all vague

Well you won’t give a number, just ‘not now’

Yes, maybe I will have to wait a long time.

Well it’s your life, up to you how you live it.

Sisisimone · 11/07/2021 12:58

I went to a wedding last night. Think the numbers were slightly reduced, about 80, but other than that no masks, everyone dancing, singing etc. Basically everyone having a fucking good time. Felt so good to he getting back to some normality.

GirlAloud · 11/07/2021 13:03

I’m double jabbed, and yes of course I would go to a wedding. The whole point of being fully vaccinated is so we can back to living normal lives.

Which part of that are people struggling to understand?

BonnesVacances · 11/07/2021 13:08

@GirlAloud

I’m double jabbed, and yes of course I would go to a wedding. The whole point of being fully vaccinated is so we can back to living normal lives.

Which part of that are people struggling to understand?

The bit that being fully vaccinated doesn't stop you from catching it or passing it on. If you think that you being fully vaccinated means everyone can go back to living normal lives, maybe you're struggling to understand?
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 11/07/2021 13:09

I have no clothes that fit anymore and I wouldn't even know what size to buy online so unless pyjamas are ok I really couldn't

LizJamIsFab · 11/07/2021 13:11

I’d definitely go and enjoy the company more than ever before. I think we have to start reversing some of the fear. Weddings are (ideally) joy, love and hopefulness!

igelkott2021 · 11/07/2021 13:12

Yes I would go. I'd just leave before everyone got too drunk and started hugging each other.

loulouljh · 11/07/2021 13:13

Why would not go to an August wedding?????

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 11/07/2021 13:14

No. Not given after the 19th it will be free reign for

Ninkanink · 11/07/2021 13:15

Yes I go and I’d not give it another thought, tbh.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 11/07/2021 13:16

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

No. Not given after the 19th it will be free reign for
The virus to spread as likely no restrictions will remain in place and many aren’t already testing or isolating.
duffeldaisy · 11/07/2021 13:24

"Well you won’t give a number, just ‘not now’"

It's hard to give an exact number because it depends where the cases are in the country, and how careful people are being around the area.
I live close to some hot spots, so numbers just haven't come down that much, but if they dropped to, say, 20 per 10,000 in my area I'd start to feel a lot safer and so do more things again.
If my children were double jabbed too, then that number could be higher. There's no one set figure to aim for because it would depend on -
a) number of local cases and which direction the numbers were heading in.
b) number of national cases...
c) what the activity was (for an indoor wedding with 100 people then the numbers would have to be extremely low if my children weren't also jabbed by then)
d) other people in my family/friends' health.

It's quite a personal thing for every family when they feel it's safe enough. But right now, listening to scientists in the actual field of epidemiology and virology, things are not good because people who are even double jabbed can still get the virus, for a shorter time, and for a milder version, but they can still pass it on (again, less than before, but that's cancelled out by the Delta being far more transmissable), and not everyone is fully jabbed yet who wants or needs to be. When all the people who want or need to be jabbed are, then it'll be a different situation. Then I'm going to be celebrating.

TheKeatingFive · 11/07/2021 13:33

When all the people who want or need to be jabbed are, then it'll be a different situation. Then I'm going to be celebrating.

See, I suspect it won’t pan out like this. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if you find something else to be concerned about then, or you’re campaigning for all kids to be vaxxed or whatever.

There’s a strong psychological element at play and lots of goalpost moving from people. Ultimately I think many people won’t feel ‘safe’ until COVID is less all encompassing in the media, we aren’t getting daily case numbers, we start focusing on other stuff. I guess we’ll see.

LilyPond2 · 11/07/2021 13:35

Probably because someone's lower risk level tolerance can impact on someone else's outcomes. It's not just a case of whether someone is ok to accept the risk of catching it themselves. It's the knock-on effect this has on others.
It's not just lower risk tolerance that impacts others. Higher risk tolerance does too. For example, if you are quite happy to sit indoors in a crowded pub in a Covid hotspot, you are not just taking that risk for yourself, you are taking it for anyone you live with, work closely in person with, sit close to on the bus, plus their close contacts and their close contacts and so it goes on.

duffeldaisy · 11/07/2021 13:39

If we stop getting daily case numbers I'll be even more concerned. Plus, if we're expected to take personal responsibility then we need all the information to assess our own risk.

You're making a lot of presumptions there. I want to protect my family from long covid because I've known several people with chronic conditions and know quite how much they've impacted on their lives, their careers, and their long-term health. Maybe I'm extra cautious because of that, fair enough.

But I'm also sick of living in a country where we just do not deal with this properly. We've not had proper lockdowns, everything's been too late, and so we've ended up in a state of risk for so long now. I desperately want to get back to some kind of normality. But this is not the way to do it, and things just are not safe right now for everyone. So then hearing how it's all fine and normal again, it doesn't reflect what's actually going on, and that is stressful.

TheKeatingFive · 11/07/2021 13:44

If we stop getting daily case numbers I'll be even more concerned

Long term, this isn’t how the human brain works. Look up availability bias.

I desperately want to get back to some kind of normality. But this is not the way to do it, and things just are not safe right now for everyone. So then hearing how it's all fine and normal again, it doesn't reflect what's actually going on, and that is stressful.

I think you have this the wrong way round. COVID is here to stay. Life isn’t and never was ‘safe’ and there’s now one more thing out there that can get us.

Statistically, though, the risks for the vast majority of double jabbed are tiny. Life will go on for many, though it’s up to you what kind of life you want to live.

LilyPond2 · 11/07/2021 13:59

I think you have this the wrong way round. COVID is here to stay. Life isn’t and never was ‘safe’ and there’s now one more thing out there that can get us.
I think the "COVID is here to stay" line is too simplistic. Sure, we are not going to eradicate Covid, but we have already seen how different government policies can have a huge impact on prevalence rates and our government's current "Let it rip" policy is a complete abdication of responsibility. Just because you can't eradicate a disease, it doesn't follow that you take no steps to stop it spreading. TB, rabies,

and HIV are all examples of diseases that haven't been eradicated but where public health measures have had a huge impact on limiting the impact of the disease on the population as a whole.

Scottishgirl85 · 11/07/2021 14:08

Yes of course I would, what else are you waiting for?
We were at a very large (300ish) wedding yesterday. Indoors, masks were worn for ceremony. Table service for the meal.
Start enjoying life again, I don't understand why you wouldn't.

Swipe left for the next trending thread