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Original poster

Feeling so low about this new world of vaccines

999 replies

blue12345 · 07/07/2021 21:36

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me? For many reasons, I've decided not to get the Covid vaccine. I' have all my vaccines and all my kids are vaccinated. I state this to show I'm not an anti-vaxxer, although I increasingly feel like one.

I'm feeling very isolated from my friends and family as a result of this. Everyone I meet asks me am I booked in yet, am I double-vaccinated. I don't bother getting into conversations about it , but it still causes me anxiety and has led to friction. A very close friend has asked me a few times have I got an appointment for my vaccine yet and I've tried to brush her off, as I think she will be unlikely to want to spend time around me after she finds out I'm not getting it. I've also found that lots of friends have cut back on their contact with me.

I am very comfortable with my decision, but I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted.

OP posts:
Peoniesandpeaches · 08/07/2021 00:25

There are people too young for the vaccine who are vulnerable. I wouldn’t choose to associate with someone who didn’t have the vaccination in the same way I wouldn’t associate with those who don’t give their children the MMR because I’m not comfortable risking passing an illness onto one of the vulnerable I know.

Mulhollandmagoo · 08/07/2021 00:30

I'm discussing the reduction in hospitalisations, even with the terror surrounding Delta, as it highlights the little risk it seems I would pose to healthy vaccinated friends. But again, I understand it is there right to make their own personal decision about this

For.some, it might not even be about getting seriously ill, it could be that testing positive and isolating means time off from work on SSP that they can't afford - self employed people would get nothing. There was a thread on here that a family had to cancel their holiday they were due to go on this weekend because of a positive test.

People have missed on on so many things, and faced financial difficulty, lost jobs and businesses that they just want to know it's not going to happen again so will take any precaution necessary

Butterfly44 · 08/07/2021 00:32

People tend to be friends with those that share their same viewpoints and outlook. This is always subject to change when something comes to light that widens the gap. People have very strong opinions about this and rightly so; it's life changing and people have died. It's their right to minimise contact with you. Not much you can do about it.

babbaloushka · 08/07/2021 00:35

@WeatheringStorms22

There comes a point where self preservation takes over

That's the point when you go for the lower risk option and have the vaccine?

That's a matter of opinion. I'm comfortable with my decision not to take the vaccine after weighing up the pros, cons, risks and unknowns of each option.

I just like a quiet life...and whilst I'm not really affected by the viciousness and insults I read online (mainly on MN) I'm not willing to deal with that in rl. Hence, anyone that knows me thinks I'm vaccinated.

That's unbelievably reckless of you to lie and put others at risk. Don't know how you sleep at night.
oohmethumb · 08/07/2021 00:43

Not having the vaccine doesn't put others at risk. Covid puts people at risk. The vaccine doesn't stop you getting Covid.

Cocogreen · 08/07/2021 00:45

@Butterfly44

People tend to be friends with those that share their same viewpoints and outlook. This is always subject to change when something comes to light that widens the gap. People have very strong opinions about this and rightly so; it's life changing and people have died. It's their right to minimise contact with you. Not much you can do about it.
Yes this sums it up really.
TentTalk · 08/07/2021 00:45

But that's just one sibling's experience? Doesn't mean it's the same for everyone.

But you aren't the person they thought you were. The unvaccinated (of any vaccines) I know have shown me a side of them I wasn't aware of prior (unless we've previously discussed it) and it has fundamentally changed my opinion of them, usually negatively - especially if unwilling to discuss their reasons or those reasons are rooted in misinformation (not all unvaccinated are of course). So whilst you haven't changed, you have TO THEM.

Snugglybuggly · 08/07/2021 00:46

@blue12345

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me? For many reasons, I've decided not to get the Covid vaccine. I' have all my vaccines and all my kids are vaccinated. I state this to show I'm not an anti-vaxxer, although I increasingly feel like one.

I'm feeling very isolated from my friends and family as a result of this. Everyone I meet asks me am I booked in yet, am I double-vaccinated. I don't bother getting into conversations about it , but it still causes me anxiety and has led to friction. A very close friend has asked me a few times have I got an appointment for my vaccine yet and I've tried to brush her off, as I think she will be unlikely to want to spend time around me after she finds out I'm not getting it. I've also found that lots of friends have cut back on their contact with me.

I am very comfortable with my decision, but I'm just so sad that we now live in a world where the segregation of vaccinated and unvaccinated people is allowed, in both interpersonal relations and also looking more and more likely that services like restaurants and travel will be similarly restricted.

So just have the vaccines and protect yourself
Snugglybuggly · 08/07/2021 00:52

It is unbelievable that so many people on MN not only refuse a life saving vaccine for no good reason but also post threads on here about how terrible it is for them! I hope you are denied entry to pubs restaurants and theatres and not allowed to travel

strawberrydonuts · 08/07/2021 00:54

I have read your posts and whilst I can see how you have framed all this in a way that makes sense to you and feels reasonable, it is still a selfish logic.

My understanding is you feel that everyone else is vaccinated now and it's Covid is not that bad anymore, so you don't need to be vaccinated.

You don't like intefering with your body but are happy for everyone else to do so for the greater good and to combat this virus.

Someone like that doesn't fill me with confidence as being a good friend and a responsible member of society. So yes unfortunately I can see why people are going a bit cool on you, regardless of what impact your decision may or may not have on Covid outcomes, it's your somewhat selfish attitude that would put me off.

XenoBitch · 08/07/2021 00:54

@Snugglybuggly

It is unbelievable that so many people on MN not only refuse a life saving vaccine for no good reason but also post threads on here about how terrible it is for them! I hope you are denied entry to pubs restaurants and theatres and not allowed to travel
It is not a life saving vaccine though. Covid is not a death sentence. I am sorry you have been so scared into thinking this way.
Snugglybuggly · 08/07/2021 01:00

I know covid is not a death sentence but it has killed thousands of people and the vaccine prevents that. I'm sorry you are so stupid

ravelston · 08/07/2021 01:01

@MySocalledLoaf

You’re not the same person, they’ve found out something about you that has made them realise that you aren’t who they thought you were.
This. I imagine your friends, although respecting your decision, will look at you differently and as such alter their interactions with you,
GrimDamnFanjo · 08/07/2021 01:02

I'm confused as to why I should feel bad for your decision? You do you.

XenoBitch · 08/07/2021 01:02

@Snugglybuggly

I know covid is not a death sentence but it has killed thousands of people and the vaccine prevents that. I'm sorry you are so stupid
I am stupid, so you got me there. Now what?
Elys3 · 08/07/2021 01:04

For fucks sake show some sensitivity @XenoBitch

COVID is a death sentence to some.

want2bemum · 08/07/2021 01:04

@XenoBitch Not a death sentence... err apart from all the people who actually have died from it? Confused

I know what you are trying to say though. In young, healthy, fit people, Covid is unlikely to kill them (unlikely, but still can and still does).

There is a general lack of understanding amongst the public about viruses, vaccines and how they actually work.

If young and healthy people do not get vaccinated and go on to contract Covid, yes they probably won't die, but with each person it infect, the virus has more and more chances to mutate into something worse. It could become something which kills an awful lot more people, something we don't have a vaccine for, and we are back to square one. We're already seeing variants of Covid such as Delta appearing - not getting the vaccine increases the chances of more variants, and nastier ones.

Is this catastrophising and a worst case scenario? Maybe. But this is what scientists are discussing and this is something that can and does happen.

This is why as many people as possible need to get this vaccine, EVEN if they are young and healthy, so that we can get it under control as much as possible and give it as few chances to mutate and grow stronger as possible.

XenoBitch · 08/07/2021 01:06

@Elys3

For fucks sake show some sensitivity *@XenoBitch*

COVID is a death sentence to some.

It is, but it is not 100% certain.. and people who think it is are scared and angry.. and I get that. Some people feel that way about having the vaccine. There is so much sensitivity for people who are scared of Covid, but not the vaccine. Why is that?
SophieGiroux · 08/07/2021 01:08

It's sad how when people can't debate properly they have to resort to name-calling Hmm

oohmethumb · 08/07/2021 01:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

XenoBitch · 08/07/2021 01:08

[quote want2bemum]@XenoBitch Not a death sentence... err apart from all the people who actually have died from it? Confused

I know what you are trying to say though. In young, healthy, fit people, Covid is unlikely to kill them (unlikely, but still can and still does).

There is a general lack of understanding amongst the public about viruses, vaccines and how they actually work.

If young and healthy people do not get vaccinated and go on to contract Covid, yes they probably won't die, but with each person it infect, the virus has more and more chances to mutate into something worse. It could become something which kills an awful lot more people, something we don't have a vaccine for, and we are back to square one. We're already seeing variants of Covid such as Delta appearing - not getting the vaccine increases the chances of more variants, and nastier ones.

Is this catastrophising and a worst case scenario? Maybe. But this is what scientists are discussing and this is something that can and does happen.

This is why as many people as possible need to get this vaccine, EVEN if they are young and healthy, so that we can get it under control as much as possible and give it as few chances to mutate and grow stronger as possible.[/quote]
The vaccine take up in the UK has been amazing.. but we are not the only nation on Earth. There are countries that have very low uptake, if they are even able to offer the vaccine at all. Mutations will come from them. Delta was from India. But yeah... blame the small minority in the UK for a global pandemic.

Cocogreen · 08/07/2021 02:36

OP the only way you can get your friends' trust back is to get vaccinated or lie to them.
That's entirely in your hands and on your conscience.
You can do what you want but don't expect your friends to accept your decision not to vaccinate. I'm sure they're like all of us,thought long and hard about it and they're not happy with you.

CorianderBee · 08/07/2021 03:10

I had to. I couldn't start my new meds without it as I'd have been likelier to die. Just gotta suck it up. It is a bit weird to not have it. Seems like you don't care about the lives of other.

But if you feel persecuted you could always just say you can't have it (as I wouldn't have been able to if I stated my meds before the pandemic). Either way it's odd to feel persecuted for a CHOICE.

Gothichouse40 · 08/07/2021 03:26

It's one of these things that people really had to make their own decisions. Perhaps your friends would still meet you outside? I do agree with you though that these islands are more divided than ever.

1forAll74 · 08/07/2021 03:56

It's a choice you have made,, but you just have to accept that others have made a decision to try and stay safer, and so naturally they might avoid you. If you think they always make comments to you about not having the jabs, you have to put up with this I suppose.