Just can't take any more of this new normal

[JuneMoonstone]

I'm feeling incredibly low and depressed. I am just so, so utterly fed up of Covid. I can't be bothered to go anywhere, do anything, make plans. I've been waiting months for my 5 year old to start swimming lessons and they kept getting put off due to covid. I found out that she can start lessons next month but once she turns 6 she'll no longer be eligible so she'll only get a couple of lessons, so there's no point in her starting. Before anyone has a go at me, I completely understand there are many people far worse off than me and I am very grateful that I have not suffered from covid or lost anyone due to covid. I just feel so so despondent and depressed about the future. Everything is a chore now, there is zero fun to be had. The variants will keep coming, the threat of future lockdowns continue to loom for God knows how long, maybe forever. We're told that Covid will never go away and the old normal will never return. If I didn't have a child I think I would end it. Life has just become very small, dull, joyless, wearisome.

@bluebellscorner

I feel like I am living in airport security since March 2020. This was always my least favourite bit of travel - queuing, being barked at by the airport security staff about where to stand and what to do - but this is part of everyday life now. We queue to pretty much everything and get told what to do all the time. Apply hand gel, wear your mask, stand on the dot on the floor, follow the arrows, don't touch anything, shop alone, the list goes on. Depressing

Thats a good analogy to make.

I was stood in massive queue at bank 2months ago with lady screaming at everyone in queue don't get too close to her.

Last week I went charity shop all masked up hand gel the works when the manager told me if standing to side if till customers had be infant if screen at all times but I couldn't wait in front as the other customer before me was dawdling and trying keep distance.

I swerve on pavement and paths bit get close to anyone.

Cant see doctors or go in.
No toddler groups.
Supermarket became stressful military operation..
Haven't attempted pub as toddler won't behave the local pub beer garden removed the children play equipment fit more seats.

The constant rain and queuing in rain mostly at bank with their stupid restricted hours .
Smaller shops and chemists have queues.

We have uk self cater holiday booked July trying postive about that.
My year 6 won't have year 6 residential or leavers event.
My sporty teenager won't have school sports day, inyer sport competition or even after school sports clubs as year 10 not o the list.

At least we're not in an actual war zone. I daresay people there get even more depressed

What an unhelpful comment.

Oh, your husband died? At least it wasn't all your children.
Why are you fussing, only one leg got amputated, some people lose all their limbs.
And so on.

@Jaxhog

I think we all do. But that isn't going to make the problem go away. All we can do is sit tight, follow the rulest until it's safe to do something else.

At least we're not in an actual war zone. I daresay people there get even more depressed.

Very helpful. Hey as long as we're not in a war zone, all's rosy!

Is that really the benchmark now? It's basically the same argument that rich people are never allowed to be depressed or stressed about anything in life, because there's always someone else worse off.

We get one chance to live life, and yes by accident of birth some of us are born in far better circumstances than others. Why would I not want to take that chance to actually live my life to the full whilst I can, and feel upset at all that's been lost over the past year? Why does someone always have to come on and belittle the feelings of people who are struggling?

Is that really the benchmark now? It's basically the same argument that rich people are never allowed to be depressed or stressed about anything in life, because there's always someone else worse off.

It shows a complete ignorance of human nature.

People don't measure their well-being by comparing themselves to people in war zones on the other side of the world. Or to their grandparents who kept calm and carried on during the war. They compare themselves to those around them, or indeed to themselves.

Speaking for myself, I had a really nice life until about 15 months ago. I got to travel, meet loads of interesting people and do a job I loved. That's all gone now and perhaps will never be back, at least not how it was. Objectively, I'm still quite privileged in many ways and I'm aware of and grateful for that. But that doesn't mean I can't be sad that the life I loved was basically taken away from me overnight.

I can relate OP. I was hugely looking forward to 17th May and even feeling hopeful about 21st June, but I feel like there is a cloud over everything with this new variant. I'm still going to do as much as possible that is legal now, but it's more in the spirit of "Do it now while you can" than "We're coming out of this long dark tunnel at last, woohoo!".

I agree it is a ridiculous and unhelpful comment to say "well people living in a warzone have it worse".

I do think it is no bad thing for people to realise that life can change forever in an instant (for society as a whole, obviously everyone knows on an individual basis your life can change immeasurably from one minute to the next). Nothing is permanent.

But that doesn't mean I can't be sad that the life I loved was basically taken away from me overnight. That's exactly how I feel. Sad (deeply sad) for the life I loved taken away overnight. I didn't even realise how much I loved my pre-covid life at the time, but I realise it now.

Back when the roadmap was first discussed I sort of envisaged the 21st june to be a huge party with people tearing up the "stand here" spots on the floors, huge facemask bonfires, street parties.

I'm not being funny but those of us listening to what the epidemiologists were saying always knew full well that was not going to be the case, not with international travel allowed.

No country is safe until every country is safe.

@JuneMoonstone

But that doesn't mean I can't be sad that the life I loved was basically taken away from me overnight. That's exactly how I feel. Sad (deeply sad) for the life I loved taken away overnight. I didn't even realise how much I loved my pre-covid life at the time, but I realise it now.

My life of little over a year ago seems like an impossible dream now. With every day that passes, it's slipping further and further away.

@Needanewhat

I agree it is a ridiculous and unhelpful comment to say "well people living in a warzone have it worse".

I do think it is no bad thing for people to realise that life can change forever in an instant (for society as a whole, obviously everyone knows on an individual basis your life can change immeasurably from one minute to the next). Nothing is permanent.

Things may change but literally no one in modern history has been told they cannot go into their own parents/childrens/friends homes. Not in the UK. To have now been told they are 'allowed' to hug their loved ones. For a virus that yes is horrible but is not bubonic plague. Can there not be some acknowledgment for what a head fuck that is?

I'm not being funny but those of us listening to what the epidemiologists were saying always knew full well that was not going to be the case, not with international travel allowed.

Well you quite clearly are being 'funny' aren't you. Aren't you the clever one, listening to the epidemiologists. Who are just that, epidemiologists. Not taking into account all the other horrendous effects of continued restrictions.

Not in the UK.

That^ is the crux of it I think. There was a real attitude before this whole thing properly kicked off of "that won't happen here."

People forget that warzones weren't always warzones. My Dad camw hwew A refugee. He grew up in a liberal, westernised, left wing, very free society. Overnight, that turned into a place where there was a curfew, people were shot in the street and you could be sent to prison for owning a book by a particular author.

I'm not unsympathetic btw, I know why people are feeling so miserable and they're entitled to. But when you have a family legacy like that one, you sort of live your life knowing that sort of thing can and does happen.

Not taking into account all the other horrendous effects of continued restrictions.

Do you think that without the restrictions people would be happier and everything would be OK? Genuine question.

The restrictions aren't in place because "only covid deaths matter". They're in place because without them deaths (including non covid deaths) would increase and the economic shitshow we are currently in would be even worse than it already is.

That is what people don't seem to get. It is not that we have "chosen" to lock everyone up to protect the elderly and vulnerable and if we hadn't done that everyone else could have been free and happy. It's that the alternative would have been worse. Do you really think that a Tory government would choose to trash the economy and prioritise the vulnerable if the alternative was more economically viable?

@Needanewhat

Not in the UK.

That^ is the crux of it I think. There was a real attitude before this whole thing properly kicked off of "that won't happen here."

People forget that warzones weren't always warzones. My Dad camw hwew A refugee. He grew up in a liberal, westernised, left wing, very free society. Overnight, that turned into a place where there was a curfew, people were shot in the street and you could be sent to prison for owning a book by a particular author.

I'm not unsympathetic btw, I know why people are feeling so miserable and they're entitled to. But when you have a family legacy like that one, you sort of live your life knowing that sort of thing can and does happen.

And that is absolutely horrendous @Needanewhat- and shows the importance of human rights and civil liberties and why people should never be complacent about them being taken away.

Can we not turn this into yet another discussion about whether or not restrictions are justified or how long they should go on for?

There are approximately 173 active threads on just that subject. This discussion is about people's feelings after a year of restrictions, not about whether those restrictions were right or wrong.

the importance of human rights and civil liberties and why people should never be complacent about them being taken away.

I do understand what you're coming from but I can tell you that my Dad, having lived through an actual dictatorship (you know, one where actual children were shot), would take extreme issue with the comparison tbh.

We are MASSIVELY coveted in the west.

There are approximately 173 active threads on just that subject. This discussion is about people's feelings after a year of restrictions, not about whether those restrictions were right or wrong.

EVERY thread is about how people feel about the restrictions, what are you on about?! There's hardly a shortage of threads on that subject.

In any case, I am telling you how I feel about the restrictions, or is that not allowed because I am saying the wrong thing?

I'm not saying anyone should not feel miserable or angry or fed up. I understand why they do. I certainly do.

@Needanewhat

Not taking into account all the other horrendous effects of continued restrictions.

Do you think that without the restrictions people would be happier and everything would be OK? Genuine question.

The restrictions aren't in place because "only covid deaths matter". They're in place because without them deaths (including non covid deaths) would increase and the economic shitshow we are currently in would be even worse than it already is.

That is what people don't seem to get. It is not that we have "chosen" to lock everyone up to protect the elderly and vulnerable and if we hadn't done that everyone else could have been free and happy. It's that the alternative would have been worse. Do you really think that a Tory government would choose to trash the economy and prioritise the vulnerable if the alternative was more economically viable?

Your posing that question as though we are in May 2020, not May 2021.

Was it the right thing, to lockdown in March 2020? I think it was. For all the reasons you state. Is it right to continue lockdowns, now that nearly all of the vulnerable are close to being fully vaccinated, and a huge number of the population have had one vaccination? No, I don't believe it is. After this length of time the effect on people's mental health, on businesses, is too much.

In any case, I am telling you how I feel about the restrictions, or is that not allowed because I am saying the wrong thing?

You're 'allowed' to say what you want, but turning this into yet another boring, circular discussion about whether or not restrictions are justified is off-topic.

@IcedPurple

Can we not turn this into yet another discussion about whether or not restrictions are justified or how long they should go on for?

There are approximately 173 active threads on just that subject. This discussion is about people's feelings after a year of restrictions, not about whether those restrictions were right or wrong.

People always have to come on and tell us how stupid we all are though @IcedPurple, how selfish we are, we should listen to epidemiologists, COVID doesn't care, the restrictions are necessary because blablablablabla 🥱

So sadly it does end up being this endless inane conversation on restrictions vs actually living a life again.

Was it the right thing, to lockdown in March 2020? I think it was. For all the reasons you state. Is it right to continue lockdowns, now that nearly all of the vulnerable are close to being fully vaccinated, and a huge number of the population have had one vaccination? No, I don't believe it is. After this length of time the effect on people's mental health, on businesses, is too much.

If the variant is more transmissible, there really isn't any difference. It's been extensively explained why the fact we now have a lot of people vaccinated doesn't really matter in the face of a much more transmissible variant (if this one turns out to be one of course). The outcome is the same.

I know people don't want to hear it. I don't either!

how selfish we are

I don't think anyone is selfish. I think people are frustrated, sad, angry and defensive. With good reason.

@Needanewhat

Was it the right thing, to lockdown in March 2020? I think it was. For all the reasons you state. Is it right to continue lockdowns, now that nearly all of the vulnerable are close to being fully vaccinated, and a huge number of the population have had one vaccination? No, I don't believe it is. After this length of time the effect on people's mental health, on businesses, is too much.

If the variant is more transmissible, there really isn't any difference. It's been extensively explained why the fact we now have a lot of people vaccinated doesn't really matter in the face of a much more transmissible variant (if this one turns out to be one of course). The outcome is the same.

I know people don't want to hear it. I don't either!

The difference is that people are not going to comply in the same way as before. Far more people were scared in the early stages of the pandemic. They aren't any more. People have been waiting for the vaccines and now the patience has gone.

The difference is that people are not going to comply in the same way as before. Far more people were scared in the early stages of the pandemic. They aren't any more. People have been waiting for the vaccines and now the patience has gone.

I agree and the outcome of that will sadly be pretty catastrophic.

The government's handling of the whole thing has been truly shambolic.

Just want to say that those posters who feel anger, grief, etc at the last year, you are valid and you’re not wrong. Personally I’ve had a mental health crisis unfold in the past 12 months that now has me off work, in continuous therapy, and suffering from panic attacks, agoraphobia and an eating disorder (where previously, throughout my whole 30something years of life, I was an avid traveller, very career driven, and able to manage my stress.) The shock of losing my pre pandemic life has been immense and I never thought I’d be like this.