Just can't take any more of this new normal

[JuneMoonstone]

I'm feeling incredibly low and depressed. I am just so, so utterly fed up of Covid. I can't be bothered to go anywhere, do anything, make plans. I've been waiting months for my 5 year old to start swimming lessons and they kept getting put off due to covid. I found out that she can start lessons next month but once she turns 6 she'll no longer be eligible so she'll only get a couple of lessons, so there's no point in her starting. Before anyone has a go at me, I completely understand there are many people far worse off than me and I am very grateful that I have not suffered from covid or lost anyone due to covid. I just feel so so despondent and depressed about the future. Everything is a chore now, there is zero fun to be had. The variants will keep coming, the threat of future lockdowns continue to loom for God knows how long, maybe forever. We're told that Covid will never go away and the old normal will never return. If I didn't have a child I think I would end it. Life has just become very small, dull, joyless, wearisome.

I totally agree , especially as the uncertainty of 21st june gets nearer , i felt quite cynical about it anyway but hints in the press are happening as with all the other u turns so far , leak a bit to soften the blow when plan undoubtedly fails .
Another year passing us by .
I know its a negative attitude and lots have it so much worse but your entitled to your own feelings and opinions.

There is so much to enjoy with kids OP? Just this week we’ve got 2 softplay sessions booked, a splash park & a farm.. my little one is delighted. Can you take DD swimming at the weekend? Do you have a splash park with slides near-ish you could travel too (ours is an hour away but worth it). Are there other classes she could do if swimming are being flakey? Seems odd, we’ve been back swimming since April.. there’s so many kids activities if you look for them usually. You can meet friends with kids indoors?! Or up to 30 outdoors! Do you have anyone you could play date with on a weekend?

I don’t mean to be all look at my life but honestly, if you get out & about it really does feel reasonably normal now! And it really helps your mood if you can push yourself. I was really low & struggling over winter with two young kids but I’ve embraced things opening when they have & I feel happy & upbeat again. Seeing friends & family is a huge mental boost. I’ve sat and eaten lunch in a thick coat in the rain (under cover) several times. I wouldn’t choose to do it but I felt so much happier for doing so! Seeing my kids playing with friends or running around softplay really lifts my mood too. I just want them to be happy & for this sodding pandemic to pass them by best it can..

It’s time to start living again in my opinion. I’ll evaluate personal risk & I'm getting on and enjoying things. Stop worrying about the greater good, stop watching the news, stop reading mumsnet .. you sound pretty depressed. If you are genuinely suicidal bar your child, please please seek help.

It's so hard at the moment op. I try not to think about the f2f speech and language therapy my child missed , or the fact that my other child has done most of their GCSE work and learning at their desk in their room.

I tried to cheer myself up by booking a table for dinner on Saturday night , only to discover that 90% of the restaurants around here won't be reopening due to lack of footfall from office workers.

I know we must keep putting one foot in front of the other but it's like walking through syrup right now.

I know what you mean. DD was getting excited over the school activities (that replaces her year 6 residential as it is) and I’m so worried that once again, what she’s looking forward to will come crashing down as everything else has in the last year. It’s just the constant unknown - don’t get excited, it will probably be cancelled.

Many sympathies, it's been very tough re children's activities.

In case it helps, my DC 9 is now just starting several types of activities - dance lessons, drama, theatre technical skills, singing, netball, tennis, face to face keyboard lessons and cricket several times a week. These are either outdoor or in very small groups. DC is very happy & making up for lost time! We're lucky that we can arrange or pay for these I know.

We haven't got back to swimming yet, that's the only activity group gap really. Oh, and we aren't going to church/ cinema/ theatres as these tend to involve larger groups indoors.

We are doing stuff now that's more local, and more in our village or with kids from the same class. We're generally careful as shielding till recently with a mix of vulnerabilities.

Are there any other activities you could do alongside whatever swimming is available? Rugby tots? any music or dance classes re-starting?

Also I would agree with pp in taking what there is (and indicating you are interested in more if at all possible, you never know something could come of that)

www.ecb.co.uk/play/all-stars Cricket all stars offer from age 5 up (in case it helps)

rugby tots - I think the taster session was free www.rugbytots.co.uk/Class/Find

is your child's school doing any after school clubs?

I totally agree and find the relentless pushing back of goal posts depressing. There always seems to be a reason to hold things back.

A year ago, we only needed t

Annoying.....

Anyway a year ago we only needed to vaccinate the oldest and weakest to save the NHS - now - we are into the 30 year olds and probably looking at having children vaccinated at some point.

And it's not just about swimming or holidays etc it's the missed opportunities, the life passing us by, the inability to plan or look forward.

To me, it might only be a holiday but it's the second year I have had to cancel and I probably only have a year left before my child doesn't want to come with us anymore.

There's a lot worse off I appreciate but we are all allowed our own "worst"

I feel much the same way.

One thing has jumped out at me from your OP - you have said that you are grateful not to have lost anyone to Coronavirus or to have had it. I wonder if part of how you are feeling is that you now anticipate having someone tell you off for not feeling the “correct” way or not being “grateful” enough.

There is no “should” or “must” for how you feel. Chances are that you’ve kept to whatever restrictions have been in place over the last year - they won’t work better for being blissful about them.

It may take a while to start to feel a bit more normal, even once all restrictions have come to an end. That is all right. If you have people in your life who share endless memes about how everyone should be more grateful, mute them for a bit.

No DCs here, but I'm finding that even though now in theory I can go out and do loads more stuff, I just can't be bothered. Everything feels like too much faff, and like it won't be that enjoyable anyway. All the quiet outdoor places I used to go for a walk locally have been discovered by everyone else during the lockdowns, so even that's less enjoyable than it used to be.

Every time I hear another bit of news it just wants to make me stay indoors more. I'm totally over being scared of catching Covid, I've just literally got to the point where I don't care if we are in lockdown or not, as things are rubbish regardless. I'm genuinely really pleased for all the people that are feeling brighter, have been able to resume something close to a normal life, see their loved ones, are happy to go to pubs and restaurants etc. I just don't have it in me. Someone shared this article on another thread last week and it really resonated with me

www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html

I was hoping for some baby and toddler groups...everything was already booked from people doing zoom versions in lockdown, so still feels like lockdown with the park in the rain!

@wonderstuff123

I hear you. Am so fed up with everything.The sodding 1 way systems in my uni library,the signs reminding us to socially distance,the fact that we're now "allowed" hug making news headlines,the them and us rhetoric of the media and politicians between people who chose to be vaccinated and those who chose not to be.

It's shit beyond belief.

Not being facetious - but I don't understand this line of thinking.

If you don't like the social distancing, the one way systems, all the restrictions, then surely you support the vaccine effort, since that's commonly acknowledged to be the only way out of this shitshow?

I've been feeling the same OP, especially with the terrible weather. It makes me wonder whether all the tales of community and support during the second world war might be somewhat rose-tinted, and most of the time it was just endless concessions, bad news and sleepless nights. Is your little girl back in school? Hopefully the summer will bring better times.

I echo the posters saying that ours insensitive to call this a blip. My daughter was approaching 3 when this started, she will be in school when it finishes.

Her whole toddlership passed, and selfishly I'm not sad for her (shes had 3 days a week in nursery, socialised and thrived), but me and my partner have lost that time with her when she is big enough to actively do things, but not yet in school.

We will never get that time back, we won't have another child, it is a feeling of grief for a loss effectively. And all for something which is now finished and was never any risk to her and us anyway.

Yes, poor you. Must be terrible.

Feeling sorry for yourself is always a choice.

I feel a bit like this. I don't have young children to worry about so I know I should be grateful for that, but it just feels relentless in terms of constantly changing goal posts, forever feeling uncertain, and the stupid bloody weather does NOT help. I've had my first jab which I was thrilled about, but now the news seems to suggest that vaccinations might not be enough against new variants popping up, and I do worry that we are never going to get close to "normal" again.

@bookworm1632

Feeling sorry for yourself is always a choice.

Not if you have a mental illness

I am the same, op! But remember, we need to adjust to this new reality as life won’t be back to pre March 2020 again, maybe it would, by by the time that will happen, we, our kids, families would be of dif ages and in dif positions.

I am sad with a change of many daily activities prior to covid, but think adapted to them now. But a huge sodcietak

@bookworm1632

Feeling sorry for yourself is always a choice.

What a narrow minded viewpoint.

Ever heard of mental illness?

@BarbarianMum

Yes, poor you. Must be terrible.

Why the sarcasm

People who come into threads like this and make remarks like @BarbarianMum and @bookworm1632 should be ashamed of themselves. Is that how you speak to your friends or family when they express feelings of anxiety or depression? What are you trying to gain from being so unsympathetic and unkind?

OP - it is shit and incredibly wearing. At some point it will end and we'll come out the other side.

I get you. We usually holiday in the UK and had to rearrange our last year's holiday, which we did to this weekend. I am so not looking forward to it, it's ridiculous. We can't book anything because it's all booked up or needs some crazy amount of a deposit. The weather is shite and the kids are ill at the moment. I've had enough.

It is the endless disappointment op, it has now shifted to feeling relentless.
We were all feeling pretty positive as the vaccines were the light at the end of the tunnel, now it seems they are only a sticking plaster to the possibility, and eventual certainty of a new strain of the virus that outwits the vaccines.
The promise of a total return to normal life now looks unlikely any time soon. Wearing masks everywhere sucks the joy and fun out of everything, the rules ruin any chance of spontaneous fun...

So yes I totally get it.

I competely agree it is never going to end and some people's views on it scare me, we need to live along side this virus and get on with things.

I said to my husband at the weekend, if i did have kids i would kill myself.

I am not depressed i just do not want to live this way of life. Never in a million years did i ever think we would be living like this!

Mandating vaccines for care home staff.( its a basic human right to make a choice weather you agree with it or not)
Masks
Social distancing
Being told what to do
Where we can go
Who to hug
Constant lock downs
Economy in tatteres
All time high in employment
Cutting benefits of thos in need.