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Original poster

Just can't take any more of this new normal

231 replies

JuneMoonstone · 18/05/2021 10:03

I'm feeling incredibly low and depressed. I am just so, so utterly fed up of Covid. I can't be bothered to go anywhere, do anything, make plans. I've been waiting months for my 5 year old to start swimming lessons and they kept getting put off due to covid. I found out that she can start lessons next month but once she turns 6 she'll no longer be eligible so she'll only get a couple of lessons, so there's no point in her starting. Before anyone has a go at me, I completely understand there are many people far worse off than me and I am very grateful that I have not suffered from covid or lost anyone due to covid. I just feel so so despondent and depressed about the future. Everything is a chore now, there is zero fun to be had. The variants will keep coming, the threat of future lockdowns continue to loom for God knows how long, maybe forever. We're told that Covid will never go away and the old normal will never return. If I didn't have a child I think I would end it. Life has just become very small, dull, joyless, wearisome.

OP posts:
Needanewhat · 18/05/2021 15:30

It honestly would have been better if the government had levelled with us at the start and said look, this will end but we are in it for the (relatively) long hall.

All the scientists were saying 18 months - 2 years assuming no virulent variants and working vaccines.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 18/05/2021 15:30

@Redlorryellow

Just want to say that those posters who feel anger, grief, etc at the last year, you are valid and you’re not wrong. Personally I’ve had a mental health crisis unfold in the past 12 months that now has me off work, in continuous therapy, and suffering from panic attacks, agoraphobia and an eating disorder (where previously, throughout my whole 30something years of life, I was an avid traveller, very career driven, and able to manage my stress.) The shock of losing my pre pandemic life has been immense and I never thought I’d be like this.
I'm so sorry @Redlorryellow and I really hope things get better for you soon. I get it- it's had a huge impact on me too and I was hanging on by the skin of my teeth pre-pandemic after an awful couple of years.

I finally got out of an abusive marriage in the summer of 2018. I had just over 18 months of freedom before it was all snatched away again and being able to live again was the only thing getting me through some very tough times.

FlorenceWintle · 18/05/2021 15:31

But normal life is returning. I went clothes shopping yesterday and stopped for tea & cake in a cafe. I’ve been to the office, DC is having a friend round for tea this week and I’m going to the pub at the weekend. It feels almost normal and far, far better than at any point since it started.

What I’m getting at is that I felt like you in lockdown but feel much better now and I’m wondering why it doesn’t for you?

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 18/05/2021 15:35

@FlorenceWintle

But normal life is returning. I went clothes shopping yesterday and stopped for tea & cake in a cafe. I’ve been to the office, DC is having a friend round for tea this week and I’m going to the pub at the weekend. It feels almost normal and far, far better than at any point since it started.

What I’m getting at is that I felt like you in lockdown but feel much better now and I’m wondering why it doesn’t for you?

For me it's the feeling that it will all be snatched away again that makes it mentally horrible still.

And let's face it- it's not the same if you are someone who likes going to football matches, live music, even the pub as it's pretty shit wearing a face mask and it not being anything like normal.

It's better but it's not normal and should never allowed to be 'the new normal'- fuck I hate that phrase so much.

Needanewhat · 18/05/2021 15:35

What I’m getting at is that I felt like you in lockdown but feel much better now and I’m wondering why it doesn’t for you?

Probably because of the Indian variant. To me it feels like massive deja vu.

MarshaBradyo · 18/05/2021 15:39

@FlorenceWintle

But normal life is returning. I went clothes shopping yesterday and stopped for tea & cake in a cafe. I’ve been to the office, DC is having a friend round for tea this week and I’m going to the pub at the weekend. It feels almost normal and far, far better than at any point since it started.

What I’m getting at is that I felt like you in lockdown but feel much better now and I’m wondering why it doesn’t for you?

Things felt like they were going very well and they still might be ok. But personally I feel this variant thing is another cloud looming.

It’s not so much the variant that concerns me (my risk is very low and will get lower with second vaccine), more what will be decided to try and control it. I don’t know what will happen. I’m not particularly depressed and can be happy around the dc etc but I really don’t want more restrictions coming back. That’s the part that is unsettling to me.

CottageGardener · 18/05/2021 15:40

@bookworm1632

Feeling sorry for yourself is always a choice.
Twat
WhySoSensitive · 18/05/2021 15:41

It frustrates me how everything needs booked. We do a lot of free activities, but so many of these now also need booked and time slotted...
We are planning on going for lunch later in the week so that will be different for us!

CheltenhamLady · 18/05/2021 15:45

@JuneMoonstone

But that doesn't mean I can't be sad that the life I loved was basically taken away from me overnight. That's exactly how I feel. Sad (deeply sad) for the life I loved taken away overnight. I didn't even realise how much I loved my pre-covid life at the time, but I realise it now.
This really rings true for me too.

It is like being at airport security and having that feeling that you have inadvertently done something and you are going to be pounced on.

I am usually a positive person, but I am really having to push myself to find the positives at the moment. Groundhog day.

The light at the end of the tunnel keeps slipping further away it seems, despite all the hoops we have jumped through since March 2020.

Croleeen · 18/05/2021 15:47

I sympathise and totally agree. I had a major milestone birthday that's been postponed 4 times and even the new date in the summer now looks doubtful. We are moving to the US for good in August and so this was my last 18 months in my home country, forever. Increasingly I am finding that I agree with the 'conspiracy theorists' that we should not continue with these lockdowns and just get on with life and take the risk of Covid just like we do everything else. I'm going on the march in London on 29th May to protest any further lockdowns.

1forAll74 · 18/05/2021 15:58

You will just have to get yourself into thinking more positively.most people have all had to relinquish their normal lifestyle for all this time. A virus cannot be stopped at the press of a button, but there are all sorts of people in the world,trying to deal with it every day,to try and get some normality back into the world..

If you have something bad to deal with now, you will generally feel much better when things get better again, and appreciate everything much more.

Needanewhat · 18/05/2021 16:08

I honestly think the government were so utterly negligent in telling people it would be fine in 12 weeks. It's fucking criminal.

To anyone reading beyond the media it was so obvious this was going to be something that would drag on for a couple of years. People should have been prepared for it by the government.

MarshaBradyo · 18/05/2021 16:09

@Needanewhat

I honestly think the government were so utterly negligent in telling people it would be fine in 12 weeks. It's fucking criminal.

To anyone reading beyond the media it was so obvious this was going to be something that would drag on for a couple of years. People should have been prepared for it by the government.

It wouldn’t have helped.

Not here anyway.

Needanewhat · 18/05/2021 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pootle40 · 18/05/2021 16:34

@Needanewhat

Lewisham is definitely rising. Cases up by 39 yesterday. 60 today (that's on the zoe app).
But that might mean nothing. If they are actual 'cases' we don't know if they have symptoms and we don't know if they will be seriously ill. It's the obsession with 'cases' that is affecting my mental health as that means hee haw.
Needanewhat · 18/05/2021 16:36

Sorry I actually meant to post that on a different thread!!! I'll ask MN to remove it.

FlorenceWintle · 18/05/2021 16:44

@Needanewhat

I honestly think the government were so utterly negligent in telling people it would be fine in 12 weeks. It's fucking criminal.

To anyone reading beyond the media it was so obvious this was going to be something that would drag on for a couple of years. People should have been prepared for it by the government.

He never said that, and I’m no Boris fan. He said they hoped to ‘turn the tide’ on the pandemic within 12 weeks. And we did do that, in fact. It just didn’t stay that way in the long term.
MaxNormal · 18/05/2021 16:45

If you have something bad to deal with now, you will generally feel much better when things get better again, and appreciate everything much more

I had something bad to deal with. It left me with ongoing health issues, PTSD and a life changed permanently for the worse.
But thanks for the thought.

frozendaisy · 18/05/2021 18:03

Seeing your friends, your close ones, in person is a tonic regardless of your circumstances.

For all struggling, and I understand from personal experience, make a diary date and get hammered (if that's your thing) or eat cake with a bestie.

It's a good tonic and just for a small amount of time the pandemic world will fade into the distance.

shetlandponies · 18/05/2021 18:25

@Rno3gfr

I feel the same. All the restrictions kind of usurp the joy of any activity you try. I know the masks are not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but I have always suffered with mild anxiety, often triggered by sensory things like busy crowds and small spaces, etc. It’s now at a moderate level if I’m inside and wearing a mask. I tried to have a look around the shops but I had to leave and stand in the rain because I started having a panic attack (somewhat caused by the heat around my face and not being able to see properly). I’m not even sure if anxiety would make you exempt, even if it did I wouldn’t feel comfortable having to explain this to every security guard, shop assistant and Covid Marshall that spots me without a mask.
From what you say....You are exempt. I have the same, I have tried but it gives me anxiety. I also feel slightly dizzy, I wonder if that is lack of oxygen. It also seems to affect my peripheral vision, and on top of all that my glasses fog up and not being able to see properly makes the anxiety worse. Just go mask free you may occasionally get an over zealous shop assistant say something but tbh I've literally only had this happen a couple of times.

None of us should suffer in a mask just to appease the judgey twats. Makes me sad so many do

Chatterbox1987 · 18/05/2021 19:05

I dread once this is all over... garuntee every single week there will be a news story about a potential new virus most of which will be hot air.

RedcurrantPuff · 18/05/2021 19:28

Yep, it’s all so fucking dreary and pointless. All the fun and spontaneity has been sucked out of life. I went swimming last week. You have to book a slot a week in advance, daft one way systems and rules on what changing rooms you can use etc. Nuts. Who the hell ever got Covid from a normal swimming pool set up?

Also I’ve had 2 vaccines fgs. When am I actually going to be able to reap any kind of benefit to that? Why are we still treating the fully vaccinated as lepers?

shewalkslikerihanna · 18/05/2021 19:53

We are out and about every day
N Yorks is glorious right now
So even just a drive in the stunning countryside can lift the heart.
Yesterday went to a brewery/ pub and a lovely indoor meal with friend in a coaching inn
Today to a market town for a mooch
Got some interesting books from oxfam and another good mooch in there and a lovely cup of tea and cake in the sunshine
On way back stopped at a beautiful lake teeming with wildlife
There’s a pheasant outside croaking it’s head off
Apart from a few people clinging to their masks life a life raft it’s ok

Remember it all stops when we stop complying
Numbers are down
Where’s the problem

shewalkslikerihanna · 18/05/2021 19:54

@Chatterbox1987

I dread once this is all over... garuntee every single week there will be a news story about a potential new virus most of which will be hot air.
Exactly and dr Mike yeadon who worked for Pfizer said a scariant only varies about 0.3 per cent anyway
shewalkslikerihanna · 18/05/2021 19:56

@shetlandponies

Quote

From what you say....You are exempt. I have the same, I have tried but it gives me anxiety. I also feel slightly dizzy, I wonder if that is lack of oxygen. It also seems to affect my peripheral vision, and on top of all that my glasses fog up and not being able to see properly makes the anxiety worse. Just go mask free you may occasionally get an over zealous shop assistant say something but tbh I've literally only had this happen a couple of times.

None of us should suffer in a mask just to appease the judgey twats. Makes me sad so many do

Totally agree. I’ve never worn one, as long as people do we will never get out of this this year

If people stopped complying and voted with their feet ..it could end in a matter of days.
Nothing stronger than people power