Are you still sticking to ALL of the rules?

[CallTheSheriff]

Our family has followed all rules to date but with two weeks left until social contact restrictions are lifted I see more and more people using a ‘common sense’ approach for their own risk.

My DC go to school (primary), attend swimming lessons, attend dance classes and indoor football classes but we decline the offer of play dates with other DC in their class.

DH and I have not mixed indoors with any other adult since last March. We both WFH and are both partially vaccinated. We do not attend gyms etc as we didn’t pre covid anyway.

Our friends and family think we are being OTT, especially in not allowing DC to visit others after school but allowing them to attend classes.

It made me wonder how others are doing it?

@Worldgonecrazy

The situation has allowed a lot of virtue signalling and smugness. It has allowed people whose lives were mundane and drab to feel like heroes and that they are sacrificing for ‘the greater good’. Of course there is a sector of society that wants the rules to continue long past requirements because the situation allows them an iota of self worth.

Let’s face it, when the previous highlight of your week was catching up on Eastenders , feeling self important and that you are able to (finally) look down on other people, it’s a hard thing to let go of. Hard to believe it, but there are some people who finally feel that they have worth.

I think you are onto something here re: for some people it has finally given them a sense of worth, purpose, and identify. It's really sad because it does far more damage than good.

No, I don't think they meant everyone who follows the guidelines falls into this category, just a small sub-group of people.

Not really anymore. Why would anyone looking at current data. We are not meant to live like we have been.

Call the sheriff no it was from someone who travelled, (legally I’m sure for work or family reasons) local cases zero and no cases in school until this index patient child of travelled family, so actually yes we have a good idea where it came from, back in lockdowns I would say it could be from anywhere but currently its much easier to tell, if I broke isolation now and someone got it off me in Tesco or the pub then they would have no idea how they got it, we are part keyworker household (hospital doctor) and have avioided until this very specific cluster, i did acknowledge in my post above the parent could well have followed all rules and the virus will do its thing anyway

I find it interesting that I was talking about ‘a sector of society’ and ‘wanting the rules to go on longer than required’ and the situation giving some people ‘an iota of self worth’ some posters decided I was talking about them ....

Fancy admitting that the situation has made you feel smug and able to look down on others .....

@yomommasmomma have you had any help for your hypochondria?

The situation hasn't made me feel smug or look down on others... It's just I come on to Mumsnet to look for support, advice, and friendship, as I have done for the last 15 years, and in the last year it seems that there is a massive chasm between people with one side shouting 'Selfish' and the other side shouting 'Lockdown Lovers'.
I am still following the rules, because my child is extremely vulnerable and because it seems to me that the fastest and safest way out if this for everyone is to try and come out of lockdown with caution. I'm no lover of this shit show of a government or the Tories and believe they have fucked things up from the very start, but there are scientists and drs who I do trust, who also advise caution.
It does worry me when I hear people talking about sleepovers with their school kids etc because my sonis now back in school, unvaccinated, but still extremely vulnerable.
So no, not smug, missing my old life terribly and to be honest barely holding it together after a year of shielding my son, dealing with my mother's death, not being able to see my only remaining family, stopping working and suddenly developing health issues...so just very tired and very very sad.

HazeyJanell sorry you are feeling so sad, it’s all been an awful exhausting year, you are doing the best you can , hopefully things will get abit easier soon

I don’t feel bad about my own choices, so I don’t need anything to make me feel better about them @yomommasmomma.

I hope you can get some help soon though for your own issues, being so terrified of life going back to normal that all you can do is hurl insults at other people can’t be pleasant.

@pommedeterre

Not really anymore. Why would anyone looking at current data. We are not meant to live like we have been.

I agree we are certainly not meant to live like this. No one wants to continue like this, I certainly don't want to for a minute longer than needed.

Some people just seem to care more about society as a whole and can cope with not being able to do what they want better and some care only about themselves and/or are not resilient enough to cope.

@RedcurrantPuff

I don’t feel bad about my own choices, so I don’t need anything to make me feel better about them *@yomommasmomma*.

I hope you can get some help soon though for your own issues, being so terrified of life going back to normal that all you can do is hurl insults at other people can’t be pleasant.

As I said, say whatever you need to to justify yourself.

I am desperate for life to go back to normal and can't wait to start having friends and family to our house again and going out for dinners and drinks and even taking my children to the bloody soft play! I don't want restrictions to go on a second longer than is needed.

I am just giving some reality about the selfishness of those who have been breaking the rules consistently and therefore jeopardising the freedoms, health and livelihoods of others by doing so. It's all about them and what they want.

@HazeyJaneII that does sound a hard situation for you. I have also seen the chasm this year between those who think others are selfish for breaking rules and those who think others are selfish for wanting lockdown to continue. I think the problem is though that there are different wants and needs from both sides so neither is wrong really. There are people like yourself who need people to follow the rules as your son is vulnerable and you want to keep him safe. Then others who need to break the rules as they are low risk to covid and lockdowns are much more of a risk to them.

Myself for example, lockdown is more dangerous to me as I suffer from long term depression and anxiety, the few months not being able to see anyone was disastrous for me and I now have a baby so will not put myself in that position again. Having made the decision to see family and friends from March I am much happier and more able to go about my life. I also won't allow my baby to be harmed developmentally so she is playing with other children, including babies and school children. Low risk children should be allowed to play with other children properly as it is harmful for them not to.

It's hard when it feels like people on here are judging me and others in similar positions for rule breaking when to me it feel pretty essential. I can see why it would be worrying for you in your situation, but for me my family does come first, just as yours comes first for you.

You’re shouting into the abyss, @yomommasmomma. People consistently breaking the rules don’t care what anyone thinks and some (most) of the breaches on here are pretty insignificant and likely not putting anyone at risk or causing restrictions to continue longer.

@XenoBitch

No. I have had enough. Had a friend at mine (not bubbled) once a fortnight all through this year's lockdown. Saw plenty of people in my street do similar.

do you mean indoors? Because you were able to meet someone outside throughout lockdown, as long as you were moving. And not just once a fortnight.

[quote Racoonworld]@HazeyJaneII that does sound a hard situation for you. I have also seen the chasm this year between those who think others are selfish for breaking rules and those who think others are selfish for wanting lockdown to continue. I think the problem is though that there are different wants and needs from both sides so neither is wrong really. There are people like yourself who need people to follow the rules as your son is vulnerable and you want to keep him safe. Then others who need to break the rules as they are low risk to covid and lockdowns are much more of a risk to them.

Myself for example, lockdown is more dangerous to me as I suffer from long term depression and anxiety, the few months not being able to see anyone was disastrous for me and I now have a baby so will not put myself in that position again. Having made the decision to see family and friends from March I am much happier and more able to go about my life. I also won't allow my baby to be harmed developmentally so she is playing with other children, including babies and school children. Low risk children should be allowed to play with other children properly as it is harmful for them not to.

It's hard when it feels like people on here are judging me and others in similar positions for rule breaking when to me it feel pretty essential. I can see why it would be worrying for you in your situation, but for me my family does come first, just as yours comes first for you.[/quote]
Everyone has a reason why it's "essential" for them to break the rules when the reality is it's actually only essential that people don't break the rules for the sake of the posters with vulnerable children and families, like the poster you have been talking to.

If you had had a baby then presumably you have a partner who you can talk to and you can see and your baby can interact with anyone you like outside. Why the need to break the rules and put vulnerable people at risk by being inside? I agree outside in the park etc isn't ideal with little ones, but it's do able for a little bit longer surely?

@osbertthesyrianhamster - so you call out the effect on mental health, but you're happy publicly shaming a highly anxious individual & then boasting about it online. Nasty behaviour.

@yomommasmomma I'm sorry but I don't think it is selfish to want and need to see family. Having a big party at the moment, maybe, but not seeing a few family and friends. As I said in my previous post everyone is in a different situation and yes some people aren't able to cope as well as others with isolation for various reasons and that is ok, its a bit unfair to say that people aren't resilient enough as if it's their own fault.

Great for you if you are so able to cope well with it and are happy to continue with lockdown but many of us aren't willing to do that and need to see others and need our kids to see others.

I’m seeing the people I need to see who are an integral part of my whole life and being. And I’ve been going out of my local area outdoors, because that was always a pointless rule. Seeing my family and accessing open land are just not things the government can have authority over.

@Worldgonecrazy - such a nasty bitter comment. Firstly you know nothing about anyone & secondly it's not your place to judge other people's lives & project. Be kind.

Generally but not always. We have protected the NHS and the most vulnerable so I have no issue with the odd rule break here and there within reason.

Seeing my family and accessing open land are just not things the government can have authority over.

Totally agree. The people who can decide who comes in my house and when are both named on the title deeds.

Everyone has a reason why it's "essential" for them to break the rules when the reality is it's actually only essential that people don't break the rules for the sake of the posters with vulnerable children and families, like the poster you have been talking to.

So a family vulnerable to covid is more important than my family vulnerable to lockdowns then? That's nice to hear. So if I was to become unwell and not able to look after my baby, or I die because of lockdowns that doesn't matter as long as I kept to the rules to spare another family that may become unwell or die because of covid?

when the reality is it's actually only essential that people don't break the rules for the sake of the posters with vulnerable children and families, like the poster you have been talking to.

Why do only Covid related vulnerabilities count here? Why are the needs of a new mum, struggling with isolation and depression not important?

Why would that poster override what she needs to keep herself healthy and sane for the sake of people she doesn’t know?

If you had had a baby then presumably you have a partner who you can talk to and you can see and your baby can interact with anyone you like outside. Why the need to break the rules and put vulnerable people at risk by being inside? I agree outside in the park etc isn't ideal with little ones, but it's do able for a little bit longer surely?

@yomommasmomma this just shows your complete lack of understanding of mental health issues. No seeing my partner is not enough, no seeing the odd person outside in the rain and cold is not ideal with my baby and is also not enough, and certainly not enough for my babies development and wellbeing either.

@yomommasmomma
clearly you are just weaker people

Fine, I am weaker 🤷‍♀️