Page 11 | I can’t get out of bed

Original poster

fireflylanegirls · 09/04/2021 13:34

@bambootle

Earlier she said she had financial resources to pay for private therapy. Then she backtracked. She's not committed to getting better

Hang on a minute....

I said I had the financial resources BEFORE I had been informed that private therapy is £60 p/h, which I found out after an inquiry I made.

It’s recommended to have 2 hours per week.
That’s 480 a month. I barely earn that on my part time wage and our savings took a huge hit last year when my husband was furlough for 20 weeks and I was on statutory mat leave!

I am taking Sertraline, I’m having CBT (stage 2)
I called my Gp yesterday and have increased my Sertraline dose.
I called the crisis team last night.
I’ve called my GP back this morning and am awaiting a call back to discuss more intense CBT.

It’s so unfair for you to say I’m not committed to getting better, and you’ve made that judgement based on what... the fact that I can’t afford a private therapist?!

OP posts:

Original poster

fireflylanegirls · 09/04/2021 13:37

@bambootle

If someone told her that there was a drug available that would guarantee no blood clots but cost the price of a car she'd find the money right now

and this is utter nonsense. Not sure how I would find such money..! 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

FlattestWhite · 09/04/2021 13:38

On the fact that you are not engaging at all with the root problem ,but continue to focus on the clots and getting reassurance for that, despite so many people telling you that is really isn't helpful.

You need to look into what everyone is saying about the anxiety being the problem, convincing you to worry about the wrong things, and getting a grip on you that will never go away if you only try to deal with the things it is making you worry about.

Original poster

fireflylanegirls · 09/04/2021 13:42

@FlattestWhite

On the fact that you are not engaging at all with the root problem ,but continue to focus on the clots and getting reassurance for that, despite so many people telling you that is really isn't helpful.

You need to look into what everyone is saying about the anxiety being the problem, convincing you to worry about the wrong things, and getting a grip on you that will never go away if you only try to deal with the things it is making you worry about.

@FlattestWhite

So would you tell everyone that has a headache that they are just anxious? Or would you say, oh well given that there is a risk of a blood clot after your vaccine, then you are right to be worried.... 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

FlattestWhite · 09/04/2021 13:45

I'd not engage with their worries about clots or anything else at this stage, if they were displaying the degree of health anxiety that you are, and I would tell them that I was very concerned about their anxiety and that I hoped that they would agree to deal with that and acknowledge it as the root problem.

FusionChefGeoff · 09/04/2021 13:51

No, a headache being caused by a clot it is not a justified risk in any way I look at it.

You are very very ill please please step away from social and mainstream media whilst your treatment increases.

Bordois · 09/04/2021 13:55

An informative post from OPs last thread. I linked to it earlier but it may be more useful to quote it directly:

By user Navigationcentral

A really useful parallel is Health Anxiety. Health Anxiety manifests itself as very super specific anxiety about specific conditions - all of which “could” occur. The sufferer then seeks reassurance - through research, friends, family, forums and doctors - about that specific condition. Reassurance arrives. The suffering pauses. It starts again and cycle repeats till that condition no longer holds worth. The anxiety then latches on to a different condition. The cycle begins again.

Here is a really useful reading on the relationship between Anxiety and Reassurance and how reassurance seeking and finding is the key meat of the cycle that keeps the cycle going -

houstonocdprogram.org/reassurance-seeking-and-health-anxiety/

In this cycle - if friends and family or PP here get too drawn into addressing and providing vaccine specific reassurance it will unfortunately not help OP in long run.

‐---------

As well meaning and kind it may seem to try to reassure the OP it doesn't help her underlying anxiety and is actually making it worse. I actually think MNHQ have a duty of care here as the OP is obviously in the grip of a major crisis and this is just making it worse for her.

Itsalonghaul · 09/04/2021 13:58

But your vaccine was 28 days ago op. It would have shown by now if you had a clot. I am sorry you are very unwell with your anxiety, and hopefully some proper intervention and assistance will help.

I hope dh was able to talk to the GP on your behalf, and you are getting some RL support now.

EveryoneRevealsThemselves · 09/04/2021 14:00

I am in agreement with @Bordois as this point. The OP is deeply mentally unwell and whilst we’re all keen to help, I’m not sure this thread is actually able to aid them and could be helping make things worse.

BlipBlopYourNipNop · 09/04/2021 14:06

Op have you actually taken any painkillers for your headache? And had a large glass of water? Had a decent breakfast?

When I get a headache I think I need a glass of water and a brufen. I don't think I have a blood clot. Even after having the vaccination.

Cinderellashoes · 09/04/2021 14:13

This is classic health anxiety. There is a real risk of you getting a clot from the vaccine. There is also a risk of dying from covid. How small or large is that risk though? Probably very very small. Nothing in life is risk free. People die from falling and banging their heads when getting their trousers on, but we still get dressed every day don’t we? You need high intensity cbt to understand these thoughts.

waterlego · 09/04/2021 14:14

I am taking Sertraline, I’m having CBT (stage 2)
I called my Gp yesterday and have increased my Sertraline dose.
I called the crisis team last night.
I’ve called my GP back this morning and am awaiting a call back to discuss more intense CBT.

Just want to acknowledge the steps that you’ve taken so far. Well done OP. You will get through this, you really will. It’s just a rocky road that you have to travel in the meantime. 💐

Original poster

fireflylanegirls · 09/04/2021 14:23

@BlipBlopYourNipNop

Op have you actually taken any painkillers for your headache? And had a large glass of water? Had a decent breakfast?

When I get a headache I think I need a glass of water and a brufen. I don't think I have a blood clot. Even after having the vaccination.

@BlipBlopYourNipNop

Yes I have. I do need to drink more.

It’s not a painful headache. It’s a pressure, like a tight band around my forehead and temples. 😖

OP posts:

OliveTree75 · 09/04/2021 14:25

Agree with @Bordois

RoomForPud · 09/04/2021 14:28

Anxiety is clever like that. You know the symptoms of a clot are a headache, so your body has given you one. I’ve 23 days past now, have a constant niggling headache, it’s worse when I’m just sitting (because it has focus!) it may be the vaccine, it could be anxiety, it could be too much screen work, it could be a tumour or a clot I have no way of knowing. But I do know that I can only carry on. Busy yourself op, sitting thinking about it gives it so much more power.

Cinderellashoes · 09/04/2021 14:33

Th antidote for this type of anxiety is movement. Get up, get out? Get some fresh air. I would say you are at no more risk or currently having a blood clot right now than you are of suddenly turning into a unicorn.

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 09/04/2021 14:37

@RoomForPud

Anxiety is clever like that. You know the symptoms of a clot are a headache, so your body has given you one. I’ve 23 days past now, have a constant niggling headache, it’s worse when I’m just sitting (because it has focus!) it may be the vaccine, it could be anxiety, it could be too much screen work, it could be a tumour or a clot I have no way of knowing. But I do know that I can only carry on. Busy yourself op, sitting thinking about it gives it so much more power.

Have you considered seeking medical advice?

Original poster

fireflylanegirls · 09/04/2021 14:37

@Cinderellashoes

Th antidote for this type of anxiety is movement. Get up, get out? Get some fresh air. I would say you are at no more risk or currently having a blood clot right now than you are of suddenly turning into a unicorn.

@Cinderellashoes

But that’s just not true.

No one has ever turned into a unicorn.

People have developed clots after the AZ vaccine.

OP posts:

Sparklehead · 09/04/2021 14:39

I’m sorry you are feeling this way, it sounds like you have developed extreme health anxiety triggered by the Covid pandemic and seeking help/medication is exactly the right thing to do.
I have also had bouts of health anxiety for many years so I understand how overwhelming and terrifying it can feel. Mine is also linked to a huge fear of dying and leaving my children behind. One of the best ways I have found of managing it is telling myself that every day that I am crippled with HA is a day that I miss out on living my life, a day missed of being with my children, of being in the present, of enjoying the life that I desperately want to leave. I ask myself, what if I did drop dead tomorrow? Would I want to have had my last days spent in fear and unhappiness? Absolutely not. This can often jolt me out of the fear and irrational thoughts. Also, remind yourself that what you’re feeling is completely irrational. Even if every fibre of your mind is telling you the opposite, your mind is tricking you. It’s been 4 weeks since your vaccine, you will not get a blood clot. The chances of you ever developing one are vanishingly small and now non-existent. It really is all in your mind, which you do have the ability to control.
And finally, think about the 7 billion people in the world, and how lucky you are to be born in a country where you have already been offered the vaccine, and where your life chances are hugely better than most people living in this world. You are so lucky, let yourself live and enjoy your life.
Sorry I’ve rambled a bit, but these are all things that I will think when I start to spiral with HA. Good luck.

Sparklehead · 09/04/2021 14:40

*desperately DON’T want to leave!

Pinkflipflop85 · 09/04/2021 14:41

The headache you are describing sounds exactly like the headache I get whenever my sertraline dose is adjusted.

Rubyrecka · 09/04/2021 14:41

@fireflylanegirls

I feel like my life is over. I literally couldn’t get out of bed this morning, the way I feel is just too bad.

I spent over a year worrying about Covid, not just worrying, obsessing.
Panic attacks, sleepless nights, I couldn’t focus on my family life, couldn’t concentrate because of the worry.

I was finally vaccinated and although initially I didn’t feel any better, within a few weeks i started to feel so much happier.

Then the shit news comes about the clots from the vaccine.

I feel absolutely numb. I’ve spent the last 24hours just crying. I wish I’d never had the vaccine now.
It’s been 4 weeks and I’m such a nervous wreck.

My husband has had to drop our son at my mother in laws today because I’m in no fit state to look after him.

I’ve called my GP and have been told to increase my Sertraline to 100mg.

I absolutely hate living with this fear.

I knew this vaccine was too good to be true 😩

Sounds like you need to get therapy for your health anxiety.

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 09/04/2021 14:41

No one has ever turned into a unicorn.

People have developed clots after the AZ vaccine.

A lot of vaccines have very rare potentially fatal side effects. You know the rotavirus vaccine they give newborns? The oral drops? Very small risk of bowel intussusception, fatal if left untreated- if you read the small print for virtually any medication or vaccine there are pretty scary looking complications.

Ultimately it's a numbers game and there's nothing you can do about it. What was it Newt Scamander said in that film- worrying just means you suffer twice?

Elliania · 09/04/2021 14:43

OP the headache you describe sounds EXACTLY like a stress/tension headache which you are problaby causing yourself by getting so worked up. The above poster is right - you have zero symptoms of a blood clot & if ANYTHING you're actually increasing your already miniscule chances of developing a clot by being immobile & not drinking enough.
Get up & go for a walk, go get some fresh air, drink plenty of water & you'll feel much better. You are NOT developing a clot all you are doing is making yourself unwell through stress, worry & not taking good care of yourself.
Carry on with your CBT, see if you can get some more intense therapy & try as much as possible to keep yourself occupied so you're not letting the intrusive thoughts overwhelm you.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 09/04/2021 14:55

@Bordois

An informative post from OPs last thread. I linked to it earlier but it may be more useful to quote it directly:

By user Navigationcentral

A really useful parallel is Health Anxiety. Health Anxiety manifests itself as very super specific anxiety about specific conditions - all of which “could” occur. The sufferer then seeks reassurance - through research, friends, family, forums and doctors - about that specific condition. Reassurance arrives. The suffering pauses. It starts again and cycle repeats till that condition no longer holds worth. The anxiety then latches on to a different condition. The cycle begins again.

Here is a really useful reading on the relationship between Anxiety and Reassurance and how reassurance seeking and finding is the key meat of the cycle that keeps the cycle going -

houstonocdprogram.org/reassurance-seeking-and-health-anxiety/

In this cycle - if friends and family or PP here get too drawn into addressing and providing vaccine specific reassurance it will unfortunately not help OP in long run.

‐---------

As well meaning and kind it may seem to try to reassure the OP it doesn't help her underlying anxiety and is actually making it worse. I actually think MNHQ have a duty of care here as the OP is obviously in the grip of a major crisis and this is just making it worse for her.

I posted similarly to this yesterday but worded it very badly. I agree with this.