Parents refused the vaccine and now have covid

[ofallthedays]

Even worse, they looked after my dd today as we are moving house and this has now meant we can’t see DPs parents tomorrow, on his birthday, for the first time in 6 months.
I am devastated. Worried for them (and me as I am pregnant). But most of all bloody angry and I don’t know if iabu to feel this way. But I can’t help being annoyed they didn’t have the vaccine. They have turned it down twice both from work and the GP.
I don’t even know what to say to PILs at the moment as I am embarrassed at the way my parents have handled the whole pandemic..and it has now cost PILs seeing their grandchild
Not a question really, just wanted to vent. Maybe it’s my fault for letting them look after her? But didn’t feel I could blackmail them to make them have the vaccine. It’s so shit.
Any ideas to help me salvage DPs birthday much appreciated. I don’t even have a cake as MIL was bringing that.

@Blessex OP would still have had to have self isolated whether they had been vaccinated or not so conversation around data is irrelevant right now to this situation

[quote SamsonTheBunny]**@Sansaplans* was this one about the PILs they live 2 hours away, and unlike mine are very strict with the rules*[/quote]
I find adult children can be very judgmental about what their parents do. It can come from a good place but while going out to work and living their lives some seem to think an elderly parent opening the front door is risky and not being "strict with the rules." Personal experience.

@ancientgran fair enough and I’m guessing from your user name that you see this from older parents perspective, but the rules have been very clear throughout. It’s for OP to qualify the extent to which this was “judgemental” but quite frankly given that adult children are the ones who have very much accepted being most greatly affected population in terms of by job losses, job changes, home schooling and economic impact in order to largely protect older populations, they’re well within their rights to question when older parents are breaking the rules. In our case our PILs were breaking them throughout “in a safe way” which directly resulted in seven family members catching Covid and one dying.

. If anything happens I will blame myself for not being more adamant with them

Because they are small children?

I despair with the whole " over 50= stupid"

Cannot roll my eyes hard enough

My point is that no one should be exempt from rules or exempt from judgement.

Do you think your parents were being a bit 'loose' with the timings , OP ? They both felt unwell yesterday afternoon, both took a PCR test [a drive thru one ?] and all this happened presumably while they were looking after your daughter ?

Glad you have ordered a pulse oximeter it honestly helped me a lot as several times my oxygen levels dropped and I didn't know about it.

I'm recovering from a moderate case I did have a little trip to hospital due to crazy heart rate but some tips for your parents if they develop a moderate case would be the following:

1: Use a oximeter regularly (every few hours in the day) to check levels are not dipping below 95 if staying below 95 on retesting at hour intervals call NHS 24. If drops below 90 then it's an ambulance. Silent hypoxia is a real issue with covid. You don't feel it (I just felt more tired)

2: sitting up will help their lungs despite wanting to feel like laying down I used a beanbag to keep me more upright including for sleeping

3: if they develop burning lung sensation, compression or constriction in the chest feeling call NHS 24 and they will usually get a covid Dr to call them back. A Dr can usually prescribe steroids to help and they certainly do help!

4: Keep fluids up and have them order a online shop which consists of premade soups easy to heat up. Even though they may not feel like eating they need to eat

5: rest as much as possible!

6: pain relief is also key Ibruprofen is safe to use as well as paracetamol

7: don't push it just because one symptom disappears. In total I have had 10 different symptoms.

8: use the zoe app its helpful for listing a load of symptoms and also has very useful info on it.

I hope they only have mild cases but if not they shouldn't hesitate to call NHS 24.

My toddler was also positive and didn't have a single symptom. It's best to test her from 3 days onwards from exposure.

@Sansaplans thanks! I didn’t know that they gave results straight away. Handy I suppose so long as results are accurate

[quote CatsHairEverywhere2]@Sansaplans thanks! I didn’t know that they gave results straight away. Handy I suppose so long as results are accurate[/quote]
Well....they're meant for asymptomatic testing and the accuracy is dubious, they recommend with symptoms to have the proper test- but I feel they fall into the 'better than nothing' category for their intended use.

Their body their choice. If they aren’t old and don’t have severe health issues that would be aggravated by contracting covid19 then they will probably recover soon. Most people are asymptomatic or are only ill for a couple of days. Are you and your family healthy or are you at risk of being hospitalised?

These tests aren’t always accurate either.

The average age of people admitted to hospital with COVID is 59.

They have every right to their own opinion and own choices.

So do I.

I work in a school and am not yet on the list for even being eligible for the vaccine. My opinion is that I have no sympathy for them. At all.

@ofallthedays

As for their reasons - I am not really sure. I was shocked when they refused it any if I’m being honest upset that they wouldn’t do everything to keep us protected. We don’t have any other childcare options.

It's not their responsibility to have the vaccine to reduce your nuclear family's risks though.

They can decide whether to not have. You could have paid for childcare, but was willing to overlook this because it saved you money and now are complaining! If you genuinely had such an issue, you'd have prevented this by not using them for free childcare.
Yabu.
Your ohs birthday is irrelevant really, more an annoyance that happens to coincide. Had your child been in paid childcare her "bubble" would have most likely have broken multiple times in the last year. So you've been "lucky" that it's only the once imo.
Given the vaccine passports mean they're now deemed "safe" for 6 months, means you can continue with the free childcare. Critiquing their choices, but saving. £££.

@ofallthedays

We saw them in their garden for about 45 minutes yesterday so need to check with test and trace in the morning. If we don’t have to isolate I will definitely be telling him to go meet them on his own.

Is it wise for your husband to go and see his parents? Presumably he has been in contact with your DD. So if she has caught it, there's a risk he has caught it, and could then pass it on to his parents.

I don't mean to sound like I assume your DD has caught it. Hopefully none of you have or will. But the risk is obviously there.

Sorry to hear about this, can see why you're so upset and frustrated.

Breathlessness and low oxygen levels are often worst around day 10 of symptoms so it will be a good couple of weeks before they can be sure they'll be OK and not need hospital. Great you've sent them the pulse ox machine.

Please make sure dp doesn't see his parents today. Even if technically he's 'allowed' by the letter of the law how on earth could you cope with the stress of waiting 2 weeks to see if they get it and the guilt if they do. I'm hoping as they're strict about the rules they'll also have common sense to just delay the birthday celebrations a couple of weeks.

I have professional experience of covid and it is a horrible random disease. Hoping your parents stay well.

Your parents only have themselves to blame. Fancy rejecting the vaccine only to get it a little while later.

What a pairs of numpties.

It's not their responsibility to have the vaccine to reduce your nuclear family's risks though

Yes it is.

Absolutely bonkers that people working in a school have refused a vaccine. It shows a total lack of intelligence and empathy.

Why are people insisting the vaccine doesn't stop you getting covid? They are 70 to 90% effective. That doesn't mean you get a 70% effective illness.
It means if you have the jab you are at least 70% less likely to catch covid. Only a small minority of people who have been vaccinated will catch covid. And if they do, they won't die of it or need hospital treatment.
And only 30 people in the UK have had the blood clotting complication, out of the millions who have been vaccinated. 7 died. The numbers are so tiny, they could be naturally occurring, and nothing to do with the vaccine.
Roughly 40 people a day are still dying of covid.
Sorry to be repetitive, but you are risking people's lives by spreading these lies.

@Somethingkindaoooo

. If anything happens I will blame myself for not being more adamant with them

Because they are small children?

I despair with the whole " over 50= stupid"

Cannot roll my eyes hard enough

Me too These are young people in their 50s who have a brain of their own.

They can try nebulising or vapourising colloidal silver with a few drops of food grade hydrogen peroxide added

To give their bodies the best chance I’d cut out all inflammatory foods that make the body more acidic like gluten containing foods oats, wheat, pasta, bread and lactose foods like milk cheese yogurt
I’d not eat meat,
Just vegetable soups and broths with garlic, leeks, onions, .
Maybe as they start to feel a bit better eggs and a bit of chicken but definitely an alkalising diet.

Lots of water. A good sized glass full every hour.
Grate some fresh ginger and drink warm with half squeezed lemon and lime .

Some zinc ascorbate, Vit d3 with k2 . Plenty of vitamin c.
Herbal tinctures..echinacea very good.

Get them to do what they can to help the body to eliminate the pathogens and heal

@Moomoolandmoomooland

You can still catch the virus even if you have had the vaccine. Even if they had it, you may well still be in the same position you are right now.

You obviously have no understanding of how important vaccination is...

January 21 : 1820 dead. 38k new cases.

35 million people are smart enough to get a Vaccine ..

April 5th : 26 deaths and 2762 new cases.

Is that because vaccines make no difference? Or because some medja guru with absolutely no background in epidemiology, virology or vaccine efficacy has pronounced it so.

I think it's telling that 'vaccine hesitancy' is highest amongst those with the lowest educational outcomes and lowest with those with the degree level or equivalent educational attainment . (ONS March 21)

Is it simply down to people having no ability to do basic research and determine what is a reliable source of information. ? Preferring instead to grab on to a 'headline' rather than actually realise that headlines are sensationalist and rarely explain the reality .

Blood clots from the AZ ? Try researching the prevalence of blood clots in the general population.
Then look at the percentage of fatal blood clots in the under 45s .

Then compare that with the percentage of Covid fatalities in the under 45s.

Done that ?
Great. Now you know that
depending where you get your base stats from you are between 33 and 35 times more likely to die of Covid than the vaccine.

There really is no excuse for stupidity.

It's not their responsibility to have the vaccine to reduce your nuclear family's risks though.

Yes it is. In fact it’s everyone’s responsibility to reduce everyone else’s risk. Because we live in a society. If you refuse the vaccine you shouldn’t be allowed to leave your house or mix with anyone imo until this is over. Otherwise you are risking killing people. Unfortunately many people are selfish.

Some of these replies are really harsh. They have the choice whether to get the vaccine or not, and even if they had had it they may still have tested positive so the problem would be the same!

The vaccine is mainly to protect them from getting seriously ill, it doesn't necessarily stop them contracting COVID.

They can't be blamed for picking it up when working in a school.

They can't be blamed for picking it up when working in a school. As somebody who worked throughout the pandemic looking after key worker's children they absolutely CAN be blamed for not having protection, even if it's not 100%.