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Covid

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Original poster

Adult dc wants to come home.. is it breaking the rules ?

147 replies

Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 20:25

Adult dc .. lives in student house . They are not a student now ... all students returning home for 2 weeks at end of rhe month . Our adult dc has been feeling low for a while and wants to come home too for company .Says will have rapid covid test and therefore no risk to anyone with evidence of a negative test on their phone. But the message is still stay home .. any thoughts ?

OP posts:

Original poster

Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 22:24

Fifth . Its option b . Not a mental health crisis.
If thought it was I wd get in the car now and get dc .

OP posts:

MrsBrunch · 01/03/2021 22:25

OP how long has he been away?

grenadines · 01/03/2021 22:25

@MrsBrunch

It's been 2 months since Christmas, not six.

People in tier 4 were not allowed to see family at Christmas even on the day itself.

Scottishskifun · 01/03/2021 22:30

@BackforGood gently saying that you understand but loads of people feel the same doesn't change the reach out for support. Would you really tell your child to wait til allowed if they asked?!

Like I said everyone knows the rules mostly, yes a few don't give two hoots but I wouldn't play down someone reaching out for help if they ask. It's incredibly hard to ask! Especially now when everyone knows lock down rules.

Sadly I have lost 4 male friends to suicide pre covid. I know of another 5 suicides of friends of friends during covid. Many people would never admit they were feeling that low so its really important to look for the small hints.
Reaching out for help to a family member saying they are low can often be a sign. It's not a case of "just low as everyone is".

OP only you know your son of it was me I would put aside worries about society and concern myself with them.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 01/03/2021 22:31

Loads of students stayed in halls for Christmas. Are you sure he's going to be on his own for Easter? What people say and what they do are two different things. If it's against the law for him, it's against the law for them.
Everyone is low right now. Longest Jan/Feb on bloody record. If you have real concerns for his health then make a judgement call even if it means you lay in lots of food and don't see anyone for the two weeks he is home?
I think you are right to question it. A lot of people have made sacrifices and a lot of people have died. We are nearly there though surely most of the old dears locally will have been vaccinated by Easter.
The weather may pick up, a few may decide to stay after all and the world make seem better with a few planned bbq's and beer by April. Why don't you keep in touch and see how it goes?

Original poster

Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 22:35

Remmy . Do you have a problem understanding ethical dilemas. ?
I think you should perhaps read the context.

Of course I am being a parent. Dc does have a low mood but it is like 1000s of us at the moment. My gut says that they come home. .. my question is in my own mind , alongside my gut instinct, to have adult dc home , was seeing as they are no worse than many at the mo .. is it ok for them to possibly break the rules when so many are in the same boat but cannot see their loved ones .. is it ok to poss break the rules for us .. when others in similar situations are not. Maybe stop the insults ?
..

OP posts:

Scottishskifun · 01/03/2021 22:39

@Whatnow100 trust your gut. Ethical dilemma aside.

ohwaitthatwasme · 01/03/2021 22:39

@Remmy123 isn't someone I would listen to tbh. The hypocrisy is too big for me to take them seriously.

Original poster

Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 22:40

Hi tread. Adult dc is not a student. But they live in a house with students all of which are going home . One will be there a week .. in the second week no one else will be there.

OP posts:

Original poster

Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 22:42

Ohwait . What do you mean re the hypocracy re remmy ?

OP posts:

3littlewords · 01/03/2021 22:45

@Whatnow100

Fifth . Its option b . Not a mental health crisis. If thought it was I wd get in the car now and get dc .

You say in your OP your dc has been feeling low for a while and has suggested being tested before they come home. Your words not mine! Clearly not just fancying a little break away from the norm due to boredom and has even considered how to make things a bit more safer for all by offering to be tested beforehand.

Original poster

Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 22:48

3 little. They suggested that as I have asthma . And dc lives in a mixed household. Yes , dc has been low in mood for a while . As many have , we speak often and it does not refer to a mental health crisis .

OP posts:

ohwaitthatwasme · 01/03/2021 22:51

@Whatnow100

Ohwait . What do you mean re the hypocracy re remmy ?

The post has been deleted, so I can't really repeat it but I'm sure you know what I mean. Shouting about you being so bad because of the potential mental health issues of your dc whilst missing the fact they could be contributing towards some bad feelings of yours. If someone wants to be a supporter of all things good and right they should be able to do it without saying horrible things to others.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 01/03/2021 22:52

@Whatnow100

They just want to come for a few days .of course want to support . We live in a beauty spot were cars are written on if they are seen to be visitors .. that wd add additional stress for dc . My heart of course says come home. Was asking tho if it is against thr rules.

Sorry, I know the thread has moved on a bit but what does 'cars are written on' mean? Someone actually writing on cars? What are they writing?

3littlewords · 01/03/2021 22:52

@Whatnow100 don't use the "low mood for a while" card then if you don't want people to link it to mental health issues, what you really should of said is, my dc is going to be home alone for a week and wants to come back to the family home for a holiday

truetuesdays · 01/03/2021 22:57

Is this for real???

A family friend was found to have committed suicide in their dorms once.

Just let them come home.

Original poster

Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 22:58

Oh wait . Im not sure if I saw the thread !

OP posts:

MrsPernicious · 01/03/2021 23:03

Government guidance says that students currently at uni shouldn't travel home in the Easter holidays.

@Whatnow100 check the Uni advice page, your DC's house mates should not be going home.

Runnerduck34 · 01/03/2021 23:04

Please let them come home, end of.
I wouldn't hesitate, and if they will be a single person Household at the end of the month then you are allowed to form a bubble, I think you can also form one for support and mental health concerns.
But frankly I wouldn't care what the rules were my priority would be my child, adult or not , so get them home with you.
The fact the parents of all the other housemates havent quibbled and they are all returning home to their parents house speaks volumes, most parents wouldnt hesitate and it is ok to do it

Trees123456789 · 01/03/2021 23:08

In my opinion, if your child needs you, no matter their age, you should be there.

Original poster

Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 23:11

Mrs p . Yes am aware the students in the house shouldnt be going home. They are also medics on wards .

OP posts:

Scottishskifun · 02/03/2021 09:41

@Whatnow100 please focus on the flags this is showing with your son!

He lives with medic students.... They don't break rules unless are also struggling with it all
He has asked you to come home for a week because he doesn't want to be alone.... Big flag he doesn't want to be on his own maybe because it scares him what will happen if he is
He has said he's feeling low again flag
He has said he will do testing he has researched ways to be safe...... Again this isn't just a whim and a flag

Phonecalls don't cut it compared to being physically with someone.
Many people have said feeling low doesn't equal suicide, sadly suicide is the biggest killer in men between 18-40. Please listen to your gut and potential flags. It might be what he needs to help him. It's not worth the risk and I say this as a person who has lost male friends to suicide.

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