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Original poster

Adult dc wants to come home.. is it breaking the rules ?

147 replies

Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 20:25

Adult dc .. lives in student house . They are not a student now ... all students returning home for 2 weeks at end of rhe month . Our adult dc has been feeling low for a while and wants to come home too for company .Says will have rapid covid test and therefore no risk to anyone with evidence of a negative test on their phone. But the message is still stay home .. any thoughts ?

OP posts:
DianaT1969 · 01/03/2021 21:04

Your beauty spot village. Hasn't the vaccine reached it yet? Surely the elderly and most of the vulnerable have been vaccinated by now. It's March. Vaccinations started in December.
Your DC won't be going around hugging locals. Tell your neighbours to mind their own business.

Original poster
Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 21:05

Dc does not live alone so is not in support bubble ?

OP posts:
3littlewords · 01/03/2021 21:05

@Whatnow100

All .. and it will possibly raise their anxiety levels . Of course I need to consider others ..? Are we not part of society ?
Balls to society! Put your dc first. Can't believe you are even questioning it if I'm honest. I feel sorry for your son/daughter.
Teentitansonloop · 01/03/2021 21:08

It's probably a grey area but if they are in an extended support bubble with you then that is a reasonable justification. Also if they are vulnerable. If you're worried about neighbours just ask them to keep low profile.

Heyahun · 01/03/2021 21:09

It’s fine if he has a test and isolates from you all for 10!days - maybe gets another test after a few days of arriving?

I’ve been home to my parents to stay for 8weeks when advice was stay at home - I didn’t go near them for 10days and had a test - was in my room away from them and had my own bathroom etc -

How long is your son planning to come home?

starsparkle08 · 01/03/2021 21:12

I feel sorry for your son it sounds like he’s reaching out to you as depressed . He is therefore considered vulnerable .
Fortunately most of the posts are supportive of your son but the few that are not are quite sad to see as it shows that mental health is still seen as not important

LindainLockdown · 01/03/2021 21:12

Wow priorities, nosy curtain-twitching neighbours trump depressed child. What has the world come to.

Original poster
Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 21:12

Of course i want to put dc first. However did anyone see the person up post who said she wished she could visit her mum but it was not on ? I do not think as someone said .. balls to society.. i do not think just to think about this at least and try to be socially responsible in a pandemic is a bad thing .
And of course will have dc back home .

OP posts:
Remmy123 · 01/03/2021 21:13

Oh dear .. what is the world coming to!

Asking a bunch of strangers if your child can come 'home'

Wtf!!!

Remmy123 · 01/03/2021 21:14

My kids come before the pandemic and the 'rules'

I truly hope you said 'of course you can' and not 'let me think about it while I ask munsnet?!'

Smileyoriley · 01/03/2021 21:15

Of course. I would not hesitate if this were me or any of my children

Original poster
Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 21:16

Hey .. thanks for.advice re isolation .. they only want to come for a few days so the ten day rule wont apply .. but thanks .

OP posts:
TillyTopper · 01/03/2021 21:17

Of course you have your adult DC to be with you! I'm amazed someone even needs to ask this. What has CV19 made us? A bunch of people who can't even act like proper parents? I'm sorry OP I do not want to upset you, but if it was my DS, I'd pick them up the minute they asked.

sheilatakeasheilatakeabow · 01/03/2021 21:18

Yes of course. Who would even question that? The world has gone bonkers

Original poster
Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 21:18

Remmy .yes i said of course you can come home .Then I worried about the rules. Which this plan appears to break .

OP posts:
3littlewords · 01/03/2021 21:19

And of course will have dc back home

What was the point of the thread then? Tbh is came across very much that you didn't want dc back home and wanted validation to feel that way, but when that didn't happen of course you was always going to allow them to come home Hmm

rawalpindithelabrador · 01/03/2021 21:19

@TillyTopper

Of course you have your adult DC to be with you! I'm amazed someone even needs to ask this. What has CV19 made us? A bunch of people who can't even act like proper parents? I'm sorry OP I do not want to upset you, but if it was my DS, I'd pick them up the minute they asked.
Totally! Fucking hell, this is unbelievable.
DuzzyFuck · 01/03/2021 21:22

Well this thread is bizarre. I'm 37 and haven't seen my Mum for 18 months, could I still travel home to see her if I didn't fancy a week on my own? The DC in question is a fully functioning adult with a job and housemates, not a first year at Uni.

OP I completely see your dilemma, and I think the decider here is whether your DC is a bit low and in an ideal world would like to come home, or really struggling and NEEDS to come to you for support. Only you can know the answer to that.

Original poster
Whatnow100 · 01/03/2021 21:22

I was simply asking if ot was against the rules.

OP posts:
foxhat · 01/03/2021 21:24

OP you appear to have a much greater sense of social responsibility than some responders here! Thing is if you say 'balls to society' and we all mix with gay abandon because otherwise we are low (applies to 50% plus of people I'd think???) then Covid would spread more and some of the people we are mixing with because we said 'balls to society' would get very ill or worse. It's a fallacy to think we can separate out the individuals and the society. I do think it's about how low tbh and only you and her can really judge that. I am low and struggling a great deal. I've seen no family in 6 months as can't do so without breaking the rules. I won't say 'balls to it' and go and see them as I feel that we need to all pull together a bit and this will mean some significant hardship. If someone will end up harming themselves if they don't mix though that's entirely different and if my negative thinking grows that little bit more and that becomes a serious likelihood I would have to consider having some more contact. Please do ignore the haters who appear to be trying to convince you that you are some sort of bad mum just because you stopped to think about others and not just yourselves.

MiddlesexGirl · 01/03/2021 21:24

Some very odd responses here given that yes it is currently illegal unless exemptions apply.
I can understand your dilemma although I too would of course have my dc home.
I wonder what the answers would be though if dc was 30 or 40.

Redsquirrel5 · 01/03/2021 21:25

I thought if someone has mental health problems that they can move. I would let my child come home because I would worry about their mental health what if they couldn’t cope what if...

Justforphoto · 01/03/2021 21:25

How old does the dc need to be before the laws actually kick in. Yes students can go home but this dc isn't a student. Yes people living alone with no other adults can form a support bubble, this dc doesn't live alone. Yes you can move home but this isn't moving, this is a clear staying at another house and is against the rules. The op wanted to check the rules and yes this breaks them however I'd still say to hell with it and find some loophole i.e. escaping from risk of harm.

LindainLockdown · 01/03/2021 21:27

Sometimes people who are brave enough to admit being "a bit low" are actually desperate for help.

Littlefluffyclouds13 · 01/03/2021 21:29

I'm amazed at how far down the 'hole' people have fallen.
Of course he should come home, he's your son and struggling!

My friend came to my door today, her dh is leaving her, she looked broken, so guess what? I let her in, made her tea and we sat as far apart as we could in the largest room in my house and she talked to me.

Should I have turned her away? So many on here would probably say yes!