I’ve written my notice. Someone tell me I’ve done the right thing...

[readyplayer2]

I’m due back to work in 4 weeks time after being on maternity leave for 14 months.

I work in a large office and my employer throughout the whole pandemic hasn’t sent anyone to work from home!

I’m 35 have a BMI of 40 and I’m asthmatic, I also have psoriasis for which I am unmedicated.

I’ve been extremely careful, limiting social contact, avoiding supermarkets etc since last year.

I’ve written to my employer as asked if I can wfh but today have received a written response to my request which states that due to business requirements, I will need to be back into the office.

I’m due to work 3 days a week and my son will go to nursery.

I’ve weighed up my risks and I feel like it’s too much of a risk me being in the office and my son being at nursery.

My husband wfh and has done since last March!

I feel like my son would benefit so much from nursery but I just don’t think it’s worth the risk to me, especially if it means I could leave him without a mother.

I was hoping I would be vaccinated by the time I go back to work but I haven’t heard a single thing, I had a Drs appointment last week and they confirmed I am group 6 and need to wait my turn.

I can’t extend my return to work date as I’ve already done this and used all of my annual leave allowance.

Hate what Covid has done to us all :(

@readyplayer2 that sounds like a plan.

@balloonsintrees

So, self diagnosed then...
Any hospital admissions for asthma in the past 3 years?

Self diagnosed? What are you talking about...?

I did not self diagnose my asthma.

You are patronising.

@balloonsintrees is correct. She is not saying you are self diagnosed as having asthma, she is saying you are self diagnosed as being highly vulnerable to Covid. She is correct. This is objective fact that you are struggling to grasp because of your unmedicated anxiety.

I would have a chat with nursery to see if they have had any cases there? Transmission rates for that age group is very low, to put it into context my DS has isolated twice now due to being in close contact with someone who tested positive.

He's been absolutely fine on both occasions, DP developed some symptoms first time round, however tested negative so was probably just a bad cold.

Its daunting after being off for so long and going back to work under normal circumstances, I would definitely ask for a meeting to discuss how the workplace is covid secure.

[quote Onjnmoeiejducwoapy]@balloonsintrees is correct. She is not saying you are self diagnosed as having asthma, she is saying you are self diagnosed as being highly vulnerable to Covid. She is correct. This is objective fact that you are struggling to grasp because of your unmedicated anxiety.[/quote]
@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

I’m group 6 for the vaccine 🤷🏻‍♀️

@MrsTiffin

I would have a chat with nursery to see if they have had any cases there? Transmission rates for that age group is very low, to put it into context my DS has isolated twice now due to being in close contact with someone who tested positive.

He's been absolutely fine on both occasions, DP developed some symptoms first time round, however tested negative so was probably just a bad cold.

Its daunting after being off for so long and going back to work under normal circumstances, I would definitely ask for a meeting to discuss how the workplace is covid secure.

@MrsTiffin

I spoke to them Friday, they said they haven’t had any cases since November.

Hi op, I agree I agree with others re your relatively low risk. However as I have read through the thread I feel like perhaps deep down inside this is more about you not wanting to or feeling ready to send your DS to nursery. Perhaps this is tied up with having a covid baby and being with him in the house a lot?
You may well feel lot better once he has had his settling sessions, or if you feel concerned about the actual setting perhaps you could look into a different place or type.
Its daunting going back to work, especially with covid issues, but you shouldn't quit your part time job if you cant afford it long term.

@Ploughingthrough

Hi op, I agree I agree with others re your relatively low risk. However as I have read through the thread I feel like perhaps deep down inside this is more about you not wanting to or feeling ready to send your DS to nursery. Perhaps this is tied up with having a covid baby and being with him in the house a lot? You may well feel lot better once he has had his settling sessions, or if you feel concerned about the actual setting perhaps you could look into a different place or type. Its daunting going back to work, especially with covid issues, but you shouldn't quit your part time job if you cant afford it long term.

@Ploughingthrough

I’m not sure why people keep saying this.

If I didn’t want to go back to work because of leaving my son, I would just say that.

I wouldn’t go to this effort of saying it was beside of a fear of Covid.

because *

Op, nursery IS expensive, yes. Do you have any idea how expensive being out of the workplace for 6 months and having to apply for flexible, part time roles is? Clue - a lot more than one month's nursery fees.

Alright, you know how you feel. Get your anxiety treated then as its ruining your life and will effect your DS eventually.

[quote Onjnmoeiejducwoapy]@balloonsintrees is correct. She is not saying you are self diagnosed as having asthma, she is saying you are self diagnosed as being highly vulnerable to Covid. She is correct. This is objective fact that you are struggling to grasp because of your unmedicated anxiety.[/quote]
Thank you!

If you have private health care with the company then see private consultant about this and have a chat. Have they not given you advice for your skin condition?

@GaryUnicorn

If you have private health care with the company then see private consultant about this and have a chat. Have they not given you advice for your skin condition?

@GaryUnicorn

I had light treatment for it a few years ago.
I’m going to start some medication but I’m currently breastfeeding so can’t at the minute.

People keep saying it, because in reality you're not at really high risk, you're just at a very slightly increased risk. It's more likely that if you caught covid you'd have moderate symptoms rather than mild. It doesn't mean you're definitely going to die! If you were at serious risk you'd have been advised to shield

Your problem here is your severe anxiety, supermarkets are nothing to be afraid of, you've lived in a very secure bubble and the thought of having to leave that is terrifying you, you over ingest bad news and hyper inflated headlines and (often untrue) social media posts which is playing in to your fears, so you need to stop. You need help with your anxiety, you have an irrational fear of covid because of your anxiety!

It would be ridiculous to give up an amazing part time job with great benefits for the sake a few weeks until you're vaccinated, being unable to pay your bills in six months time will be a far bigger problem when it arises and is really, very very real. You catching covid and becoming seriously ill is not guaranteed and is hugely hypothetical. Call your GP on Monday morning and explain that your anxiety has become debilitating and see if they can give you some help whilst you wait for the CBT

Sorry op. I think you're in denial and are using this as an excuse.

My advice to those that are more at risk:

Double mask- the CDC advocate this. I normally just advise knotting or twisting the straps on a T2FRSM but as I'm assuming non-healthcare, you won't have access to them

Ventilate- open the windows for 10 mins every hour to eliminate an airborne risk (it's a build up of airborne particles in an enclosed area that's the airborne risk, not just someone breathing in the same room as you)

Hand hygiene- any time you touch something that you haven't cleaned, gel or wash your hands. This includes touching your mask or face

Cleaning- wipe down your work area twice a day. Wipe high touch point areas- eg the handle on the boiler in the kitchen, fridge door etc.

Masks- change a minimum of every few hours or if they get damp. Wash your masks in a 60 degree wash if cloth. Clean you hands after putting on your mask, removing it or touching it

Only remove your mask when seated either at your desk or eating lunch a minimum of 2m away from anyone else.

Follow the above steps and you will be safe

See if your employer has enrolled into employee testing twice a week. This is free and supported by the local council

Your baby being in nursery offers a tiny, tiny risk of transmission. There's a reason nurseries never closed this lockdown. Even with all that drooling and close contact, babies don't spread the virus. Nursery outbreaks are generally staff to staff from them not following the rules correctly with other staff, eg not distancing on breaks

They are, and people on here are always talking about how Covid is air borne

I am really lucky that I have robust mental health but I have had to make a conscious decision to avoid the Covid board on here. Ten minutes reading some of the threads can make me panicky and anxious. I’m only on this thread because it came up in Active. I’m sure there are those who have found it helpful but over the last year it has been a hothouse where incredibly anxious people have congregated and I reckon it has really exacerbated many people’s poor mental health if they were already prone to it. Whatever you do as part of your next steps, hide the Covid topic. You need contact with the real world again to see that most people are taking sensible precautions and getting on with their lives within the restrictions.

Gosh ! I think this is very rash. You'll get vaccinated soon and you say you can't afford to quit your job. I think you're about to cause a lot more stress and anguish without a job in this current climate than the risk to you with covid.

Group 6 is being done, you'll be vaccinated soon. In the meanwhile I'd seek help for anxiety and go back to work.

I'm CEV and I've worked throughout and am not having the vaccine for many reasons and I work in a much much higher risk job than in an office , covid absolutely ripped through our school and I didn't catch it ...twice!

You're making a mistake OP....

@JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson

They are, and people on here are always talking about how Covid is air borne

I am really lucky that I have robust mental health but I have had to make a conscious decision to avoid the Covid board on here. Ten minutes reading some of the threads can make me panicky and anxious. I’m only on this thread because it came up in Active. I’m sure there are those who have found it helpful but over the last year it has been a hothouse where incredibly anxious people have congregated and I reckon it has really exacerbated many people’s poor mental health if they were already prone to it. Whatever you do as part of your next steps, hide the Covid topic. You need contact with the real world again to see that most people are taking sensible precautions and getting on with their lives within the restrictions.

ABSOLUTELY THIS OP!!

It's really no good for those already suffering with their MH imo. I too avoid it other than the good news thread.

Ime people on here, on the Covid board, tend to be far, far more negative and gloomy about the whole thing than anyone I know or speak with IRL. I genuinely believe some posters enjoy being as morbid as possible about the whole thing and worse, others do it on purpose to scare others. Please stop reading it.

No. You are making a mistake. You will be vaccinated soon. Even if you do catch Covid the risk of being very ill with it is small. I'm in the shielding category. (But didn't) and caught it. I've had worse colds.

@JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson

They are, and people on here are always talking about how Covid is air borne

I am really lucky that I have robust mental health but I have had to make a conscious decision to avoid the Covid board on here. Ten minutes reading some of the threads can make me panicky and anxious. I’m only on this thread because it came up in Active. I’m sure there are those who have found it helpful but over the last year it has been a hothouse where incredibly anxious people have congregated and I reckon it has really exacerbated many people’s poor mental health if they were already prone to it. Whatever you do as part of your next steps, hide the Covid topic. You need contact with the real world again to see that most people are taking sensible precautions and getting on with their lives within the restrictions.

Agree with this

If you are just reading the covid board and looking at the daily deaths then no wonder you think covid is lurking on every corner and being expelled by everyone you meet.

It's not reflective of real life and seems to attract the overly anxious as confirmation that their behaviour and thoughts are validated along with those that seem to get off on saying how the world will never recover and we need to stay like this forever. I know no one who bleachers their shopping or quarantines their post or jumps out of the way of someone briefly passing in the street.

No one I know in RL thinks like this. Everyone seems to understand the risk, not the MN version of risks.

And if you are looking for confirmation that you are being sensible about handing in your notice you will always find people who will agree with you.

However, this and your other thread should be a wake up call that what you plan to do isn't a good idea but it will ultimately come down to whether you simply confirmation or not.

Unemployment in these times when you can't afford to be out of work won't be anxiety free.

OP
You know you are being irrational.
You cannot live your life at this level of fear for what is a tiny risk.

I am 50, my BMI is 38. I am at far more risk than you for age alone. My DH has a heart condition that puts him in group 6 and is the same age as me. My older sibling is also obese with coeliac, psoriasis and asthma. None of us are being stupid. We don't go round people's houses. We do use masks and sanitizer.

Last term before Christmas the rates locally were into the 800s per 100000. They are 1/8 of that now. At that time I had 4 kids in 4 different settings - a primary, a secondary, a huge sixth form college and an office. Two of my kids were on public transport twice a day. I wfh when I could but was visiting other schools a couple of days a week. Again we masked and gelled and washed hands when we got home. I go to the supermarket weekly.

None of us got it. None of my kids even got quarantined.

We were lucky, but you seem to think the second your son steps foot in a setting he will get covid, bring it home, and you will die. This is your anxiety talking. Life is much less scary when you take part in it. If you like, you have become radicalized into covid fear over the last 14 months. This is not at all unusual, but it is disproportionate.

Apart from anything else you have been immensely privileged to have been able to zero your exposure but your child now needs to mix with others to stimulate his immune system to ordinary bugs. It's not good for children not to get all the preschool coughs and colds, it can have long term health implications.

Go and visit your office. Take gel in your bag and antibac wipes. It almost certainly will feel a lot more manageable than you expect. Pragmatically, being back at work will also help your weight loss.

OP I meant to add- my sibling is in a nursery in London. Rates locally well over 1500 per 100000 before Christmas. Obviously zero social distancing in the kids in the nursery.

They have had ONE confirmed covid case in her room during the entire pandemic - a 3 year old last August - and no other child or carer caught it.