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People who would like lockdown indefinitely

223 replies

PooRaulsRagDace · 22/02/2021 19:28

Some of the threads on here have me thinking of my mother. She’s no longer with us but l know that if she were still alive then this pandemic would have been a gift from god.

Put bluntly she had no life, she never wanted to leave the house, go to work, learn to drive, she had no friends, no hobbies, no interest in anything at all except daytime TV and having a drink.

She knew that she was judged for her lifestyle and she knew she was very much in the minority and deep down it bothered her.

She loved snowy weather - snow days meant you couldn’t leave the house! No one judged you for staying in all day, you were fully expected to stay at home.

The pandemic has allowed people like this to relax and be safe in the knowledge that no one is expected to leave the home. All the people in my circle continually calling for further lockdown are people who don’t or don’t like working, never go anywhere, never do anything and have few friends and no outside interests.

People with young children who are not sending them back to school at all - I suspect so they don’t have to bother getting dressed to take them. It’s the same type of people!

No one that I know who is working, who has hobbies, friends, interests are calling for further lockdowns - only people with no lives anyway.

Anyone else notice this?

OP posts:
IcedPurple · 23/02/2021 15:44

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

But risk averse people will be more scared of Covid, so that will be their main consideration.

It’s a sliding scale. At one end I’d fear of Covid, at the other is no fear of anything at all. Everyone else falls somewhere in between.

Again, you're assuming that the only risk is Covid! And for most people, it is a tiny risk, even if it's a major risk on a society level.

I'm not in the least bit scared of Covid. If I catch it, I'll very likely have only a mild illness.

However, I'm very scared of the consequences prolonged lockdown will have on my profession, my income, and on my life in general. And I'm not the only one.

Also, the notion that people are inherently 'risk averse' is suspect. People weigh up diffeent risks differently. To give myself as an example, financially I'm very risk averse and always go for safe options even though I'll never make much from them. However, I've travelled to places many people would consider very risky. Not to mention that the human brain is very poor at evaluating risk.

faerin · 23/02/2021 15:44

I find it baffling how offended people are by this post.

OP has made an observation and a correlation. There is not actually a SINGLE judgement - good or bad - made in the entire post! She didn't even call these people "boring"!

I can only imagine the people expressing deep offence to this feel personally called out because it's making them think about how uneventful their lives are? Bizarre.

Sillyduckseverywhere · 23/02/2021 15:47

The first thing I thought of when reading this thread was an old neighbour of mine.
Never went out, ignored us calling to see if he was OK. Wasn't registered at a dentist etc.
He'd been dead 6 weeks when they found him.
I wonder how many of these behind closed doors deaths there will be?

Januaryissodull · 23/02/2021 15:48

It's interesting how defensive people get about the op.

There is definitely certain people, who, for whatever their reasons, are relishing in the drama of all of this. But not only that, they are enjoying the way of life so much that they'd extend it longer than necessary if they could. They dress it up as genuine fear and concern when it isn't.

There's a difference between enjoying/being ok about lockdown, and actually calling for it to go on longer no matter how many lives it destroys just because it suits you.

MoiJeJous · 23/02/2021 15:50

Very weird post. There is definitely a lot of judgement in OP’s post.

I have actually loved lockdown. I have plenty to do and I have enough friends and family, but i’ve enjoyed spending more time at home and not having to spend half of my life commuting.

Don’t put people in categories/make judgemental comments when you have no idea what people’s reasons are for doing certain things or feeling a certain way.

LucilleTheVampireBat · 23/02/2021 15:53

It's surprising how vicious the replies are.

For months anyone who dared to question the narrative on here was insulted and belittled. My stand-out phrase will always be "selfish weaklings" which was aimed at people who were struggling mentally.

Yet OP points out that actually there are a great many people who want this to continue, and is subjected to an outpouring of abuse!

Bluntness100 · 23/02/2021 15:55

@Januaryissodull

It's interesting how defensive people get about the op.

There is definitely certain people, who, for whatever their reasons, are relishing in the drama of all of this. But not only that, they are enjoying the way of life so much that they'd extend it longer than necessary if they could. They dress it up as genuine fear and concern when it isn't.

There's a difference between enjoying/being ok about lockdown, and actually calling for it to go on longer no matter how many lives it destroys just because it suits you.

I think for some there is an element of that to be honest. For others it really suits them, working from home or furloughed, no school run, partner at home and giving attention, a whole warm little bubble which will be burst apart when normal life returns.

There’s been plenty of threads from people loving it, which is fine. But if the loving it gets so extreme you start to pretend it’s anxiety in thr hop you can get enough people to agree with you that it might have an effect then you’ve kinda gotta focus on getting your life in order, because it’s not going to work.

On the flip side some peoooe have sadly developed extreme anxiety. They are scared to go out. Still wash their shopping. Feel panicked at the thought of normal life, and for those I think it’s about getting help from the gp, as it’s a very different animal, a “the fear is real” thing.

MrsHusky · 23/02/2021 16:09

i'm quite sure there ARE those who want it to continue because its excusing their lack of sociability or verve, or giving them leave to feel OK about staying home without being made to feel guilty by the extroverts they have as family and friends.

I'm not really a 'going out' kind of person, i'm quite happy at home, but you know? I miss the meets i had for my hobby twice a month, i miss just being able to go sit on my best friends sofa, have a cuddle and watch a film, i miss being able to go to the pub for lunch with my mom.

I have a SEN child at home, the time when he and his Dsis are at school is my respite time, to do my shopping, visit friends for a coffee or go for a potter around tesco, The Range or Dunelm for the sheer hell of it.

I miss being able to get in my car on my respite weekends to visit friends in other counties, or being able to just chuck the kids in the car and fuck off to the seaside and walk on the beach.

I miss being able to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries with friends.. i miss my neice and nephew who i used to see most weeks... i miss coffee with my sister in law.

I'm an introvert who is happiest at home with a book and a coffee, but i miss being able to do all that above when i feel like doing it and when i was sick of my own company.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/02/2021 16:12

+Again, you're assuming that the only risk is Covid! And for most people, it is a tiny risk, even if it's a major risk on a society level.

I'm not in the least bit scared of Covid. If I catch it, I'll very likely have only a mild illness*

My friend with a heart problem is more scared of Covid than anything else. My Bil with severe asthma is more scared of Covid than anything else. Not everyone is low risk.

My brother who is in an older age group doesn’t give a shit.

Rainbowsandstorms · 23/02/2021 16:18

Wow, I think you’re very judgemental. I’ve kept my daughter off school because I haven’t felt it’s safe. We’ve been up and dressed every morning ready to do her work. If I was lazy it would have been a million times easier to send her to school and have someone else look after her for the day that to fight to keep her place at school, home school her without any support from school and juggle this with caring for a toddler too!

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 23/02/2021 16:45

@IrmaFayLear

You only have to look back at the threads at the beginning of lockdowns to see the smuggery smug posters who were advocating hunkering down for as long as it takes .

Rarely did they admit that they had secure jobs, or were on a generous pension, had nice homes with big gardens and either small children or no children. There was lots of baying about staying home - with the exception of delivery people who were a covid-infested necessary evil.

I agree that if lockdown suits you - own it. Don't dress it up as faux concern.

Exactly! I'm not against people enjoying lockdown- good for them! But at least have a sliver of compassion and empathy for the fact that for many of us, lockdown has been a hellish existence that has brought us to the brink of poor mental health. Please dont dress up your love for lockdown under the guise of a faux "health concern" because its as transparent as anything that its rubbish and that you want lockdown to continue not for health reasons, but because you are enjoying it, and its had no effect whatsoever on the quality of your life or your finances.

Many of us arent in that position so maybe before you start crowing about how lockdown should go on forever, consider the fact that for many of us, it would be the absolute last straw. I also dont get it because noone is preventing those people from living a lockdown life if they so choose- if you can work from home you can continue and you dont have to socialise if you dont want to. But its almost as if they dont just want it for themselves, they get some weird twisted pleasure from it being forced onto all of us, no matter what the consequences.

Bluntness100 · 23/02/2021 16:48

@Rainbowsandstorms

Wow, I think you’re very judgemental. I’ve kept my daughter off school because I haven’t felt it’s safe. We’ve been up and dressed every morning ready to do her work. If I was lazy it would have been a million times easier to send her to school and have someone else look after her for the day that to fight to keep her place at school, home school her without any support from school and juggle this with caring for a toddler too!
Um, schools are closed and you don’t sound like a key worker?
Rainbowsandstorms · 23/02/2021 16:52

@Bluntness100 she wasn’t in last term either.

Athenaena · 23/02/2021 16:58

Well, I have lots of friends and am always out at the weekends seeing people, partying etc. I have a hobby which takes up a fair amount of my time and money (horses) and dogs which I enjoy walking, I enjoy spending time with family too at weekends and love being able to go out to the cinema or just out for dinner if DH and I want a quieter weekend.

I have a very busy and full life in normal times, but you know what, I HAVE enjoyed Lockdown. I can still do my hobby in lockdown, I can still walk my dogs, I can get pissed with friends over zoom if I need a bit of social interaction (but in all honesty, in this lockdown I haven’t, so haven’t) we are lucky though, we live in a big house, with a big garden in a lovely, rural village and tbh some days have been bliss. Pottering about the house, taking the dogs for a good 3 hour walk and then coming home and drinking wine and get a takeaway. I haven’t missed constantly feeling like I need social plans with other people of a weekend, it’s been nice to just chill out and do what I want over a weekend for once . Life hasn’t been that bad at all really and I could go on like this if needed.

BUT, I’m not naive enough to think it’s the same for everyone, or even most people. I completely get why people are fed up and want normal life to resume and I would never ‘call’ for another lockdown etc.

I am looking forward to some aspects of normal life again for sure but I’m not desperate for them. But I definitely don’t fit the ‘loner, miserable, anti social’ narrative in the OP.

RampantIvy · 23/02/2021 16:59

I don’t think the OP was being nasty. Maybe she could have worded her post differently. There have been a number of threads on mumsnet over the last year from posters who have been enjoying lockdown. Not so many lately. They tend to be from people who admit to being introverts and who dislike being in an office with other people, or parents who have spent their lives rushing their children from one after school activity to another, or people who feel obliged to spend every weekend visiting other family members. Or a mixture of all three.

I think lockdown has given them time to take stock and decide what their priorities are, and maybe cut down on doing all the activities once they start up again.

I am so looking forward to restrictions being lifted. I am so bored now.

Newnamefor2021 · 23/02/2021 17:01

This is quite a catty post. I imagine a lot of people are in the middle.

I have plenty of friends, go out with friends a lot, have my own business that involves going into schools and groups, I volunteer a lot - three fairly full on volunteer roles, my children usually have hobbies, swimming, ballet etc. I occasionally go bouldering with my husband but I don't really have hobbies other than going out with friends but I'm pretty busy usually.

I also have children with additional needs, to be fair lockdown has suited them in many ways, and going back is going to be a major adjustment. They do get dressed etc though, we have very rigid routines, which is why the change is difficult and sensory issues which is why being home is easier.

Obviously, they need to be out in the world and will need to readjust at some point but for us, it's easier then we know it will last rather than back and going forth which causes them major problems.

To be fair, the idea of going back to normal now seems huge, I can't wait and dread it in equal measure. I love my Job and miss it but it seems huge now. I volunteer still but not as fully as I used to and it takes up a lot less time. The idea of running around picking up kids, going to clubs, groups etc, working, it all seems a lot suddenly. I suspect I'm probably a bit depressed, but I also suspect I'm not alone in that aspect.

Currently keeping the house tidy feels like shovelling snow in a snow storm, home schooling takes up most of the day, and I wonder where I'll get the time to work, take children to school, volunteer, clubs etc etc etc ...it feels huge but in reality the house won't be so messy if they are not here to mess it up and I won't be spending the day home schooling.

I've always been very outgoing but I'm quite content in my own bubble right now, I suspect it will flip back quite quickly though.

Lovely1a2b3c · 23/02/2021 17:28

There are plenty of 'Oh-my-God-I-can't-survive-another-second-in-lockdown' people who don't really have lives too though. Basically we've been denied the right to shop and to go to pubs/restaurants- there are plenty of other enjoyable things to do!

Someone who is a keen runner but runs outside so is unaffected by lockdown (in this regard) does not have less of a life than someone who regularly goes to the gym.

Someone who likes to have take-away coffees at a local beauty spot rather than sit in a busy cafe can enjoy their life just as much.

Spending hours commuting is hardly 'living' any more than working at home.

It's all just perspective really.

Maverickess · 23/02/2021 17:40

You only have to look back at the threads at the beginning of lockdowns to see the smuggery smug posters who were advocating hunkering down for as long as it takes .

I wasn't 'smug' but I was willing to put up, well maybe not even willing, but resigned maybe? To having lockdown for as long as it was deemed necessary by those who are in possession of far more facts and education around the subject than me, because I do think that a virus does what a virus does, and by preventing it skipping as much from host to host, would hold back the tide and spread it out enough to ensure that services coped, not just the NHS, but anything really that relies on humans to function. By its nature a virus, as I understand it, especially a 'new' one with no natural immunity in the population, once in a setting (any setting) would infect nearly everyone in that setting within a 2-3 week timeframe, with a range of reactions from no symptoms to death. Which would have meant many places grinding to a halt, quickly, with no warning or support and causing many of the issues we've seen with lockdown anyway. We'll never know if not locking down and going with that would have caused more or less problems in the long run, because we can't go back, change it and see. I do think on a personal note, that it would have been even more chaotic than lockdown has been. Your favourite restaurant closed because everyone is infected and not enough staff to run it, isn't a massive issue (for wider society) but when it starts to get to schools, shops we need for food, care homes, gp practices etc, things that we rely on, there would have still been closures of these services due to not enough people to run them.

Rarely did they admit that they had secure jobs, or were on a generous pension, had nice homes with big gardens and either small children or no children. There was lots of baying about staying home - with the exception of delivery people who were a covid-infested necessary evil.

I didn't have a secure job, or any of those things, but I don't think my job would have been any more secure if the sector hadn't been closed either. If we'd simply run out of staff well enough to work, and customers well enough or 'brave' enough to venture out, which was a possibility, my job still may well have gone, just sooner and without the initial support of furlough and things like payment holidays, which would have seen me further up a certain creek, without a paddle and with a hole in the boat too.
I did stay at home apart from the essential stuff, because work took up so much of my time, I had very little else to occupy me outside of work, it was normally blitz housework and sleep. The first 3 weeks after hospitality closed, we're good for me. After a busy Christmas period, and the scrambling to sort everything out, catching up on everything at home, and sleep was great. In the same way that having a couple of weeks annual leave are. There was literally nothing I could do about my financial situation, I had no idea if, or what amount or conditions would be attached to any furlough or anything, and although I worried, I quickly came to the conclusion that I needed to see how the land lay before making any big decisions regarding anything. I just hunkered down and did my best really.

I agree that if lockdown suits you - own it. Don't dress it up as faux concern.

As I said in a pp, lockdown didn't really change my life an awful lot this time around. That doesn't mean I can't see it has for many, and the effects it's had though, or that I want it to continue. Fully open or locked down, it won't really affect me.

I do wonder though, why concern expressed for the effects of covid are seen as virtue signalling and 'faux' but concern for the effects on the economy and education, business and mental health are valid?
I'm touched a little by all of that, there's a middle ground where you can be concerned about the possibility of the NHS being overwhelmed by covid patients that it can't function any more, but also worried about what closing schools means for children's futures, closing industries means for businesses and the economy and the effects on people who have been isolated and whose mental health has taken a battering.
Why does it have to be one side or the other, with derogatory comments and remarks being flung around? Both sides accusing the other of selfishness and not seeing another pov, while not accepting an alternative pov themselves.
I don't think that most people, off Mumsnet, have such polarised opinions either way. You're likely to be swayed by your personal circumstances, and what you've experienced through this, but does that make either side totally incapable of seeing a different effect?

IcedPurple · 23/02/2021 17:46

@Lovely1a2b3c

There are plenty of 'Oh-my-God-I-can't-survive-another-second-in-lockdown' people who don't really have lives too though. Basically we've been denied the right to shop and to go to pubs/restaurants- there are plenty of other enjoyable things to do!

Someone who is a keen runner but runs outside so is unaffected by lockdown (in this regard) does not have less of a life than someone who regularly goes to the gym.

Someone who likes to have take-away coffees at a local beauty spot rather than sit in a busy cafe can enjoy their life just as much.

Spending hours commuting is hardly 'living' any more than working at home.

It's all just perspective really.

FFS, a year on and a variation on the "All you're being asked to do is sit at home and watch Netflix" nonsense.

We've been denied an awful lot more than shopping and going to restaurants. We can't visit friends or family, have our children educated or do anything much other than go for one of MN's beloved walks. Not to mention that millions or livelihoods are threatened, perhaps for good.

Your post is a bit 'let them eat cake'.

IrmaFayLear · 23/02/2021 18:00

Well, I think I can see each side perfectly well in that I am in shielding category and am flippin’ terrified of contracting covid. We have been quite comfortable at home, working, getting deliveries etc etc.

However, I have dcs and my desire to limit their lives for my own comfort is nil. It’s not all about me.

And there have been some very nasty posters who have said (and yes, I could find the posts if I spent enough time advance trawling) that schooling is not important, it’s all fine online, that what does it matter if pubs/restaurants close, and that this is “the new normal” - we should round up everyone who said this phrase and sit them in the Mumsnet stocks.

Nocares · 23/02/2021 18:20

I agree OP. There are 2 groups who enjoy it.

  1. Who have an active social life and job but have enjoyed the slow pace and having time to recharge batteries. Probably feel a bit overwhelmed at things going back but accept it. Likely feel a mixture of excitement and dread. Like the first day back at school after summer holidays when small.
  1. Who don't have an active social life for whatever reason. Likely not through choice even if they think it is. They sit on days off watching everyone else enjoying an active social life and going places and seeing people. Watching others have a life full of love, company and enjoyment but they are not a part of it. It highlights what they are lacking yet believe everyone else has.
So lockdown has given them a percieved level playing field. Everyone else is spending days off without going places and meeting people too. Its comforting for them. They don't want things to go back to how it was. To feel alone and watch others resume that enjoyment they never had in the first place.

I feel sorry for group 2. They knew this day would eventually come but probably not so soon and thought they had longer. They will be feeling complete depression at the thought of life going back to how it was.
Again, like being in school and the teacher splitting you up into small groups in class and everyone's separated from their usual clique. For a short time everyone is a bit awkward and it's equal. Then the bell rings and people go back to their cliques happily and the loner is back to being on their own.

We must show empathy and compassion to those people even if they appear selfish because that won't change those people. However if you identify yourself in that group you must take steps to change it and acknowledge that you aren't happy 'pottering'on your own and you do want friendships. Then you can get the right advice and support.

I hope that makes sense.

IrmaFayLear · 23/02/2021 18:26

Good post @Nocares .

There was a post the other week where someone was saying “Now you all know how I feel” and was quite triumphant. Social media unfortunately is these people’s hobby and outlet and this has been Their Time.

Pissedoff1234 · 23/02/2021 18:32

Before the pandemic hit I lived a super busy life. I had 2 part time jobs, 2 voluntary jobs that I am the lead in, 4 kids who all do clubs, lots of friends and a close family circle. I certainly hope to be doing all these things again.

However, I can't say I've hated all of lockdown. It's been nice to spend a bit more time with the kids, slow down a bit without thinking about the calendar and DH has been working from home so less commuting. I also suffer with health anxiety so have been pretty stressed with the whole virus thing. I am a bit worried that the kids are going back a bit early and I'm hoping that we aren't going to fast. This does not mean I am a lockdown lover. I think it's a bit judgemental to tar everyone with the same brush.

Anna12345678910 · 23/02/2021 18:39

My neighbour earlier today said she loves this simpler life. She won't be having the vaccine said she has no interest in travel or holidays and everything she wants at home. She doesn't work her husband does. She has a home loves tv, her dog and has an acre field and says she needs no more. She said she hates people and since she fell our with her neighbour next door to her is probably not joking.

Some people like a very simple basic life and that is great for them. She really isn't fussed at all about the restrictions they don't bother her.

Me - total opposite and hate the restrictions, love to travel and socialise so total opposites. Each to own.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 23/02/2021 18:46

I wish in this age of mental health awareness people wouldn’t label those who suffer with anxiety as “lazy”, ironically that’s a lazy stereotype.

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