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Original poster

Ds is seriously down about the (possible) school news

116 replies

Fuckadoodledoooo · 22/02/2021 15:03

He's year 13. In college. He hates it. Hates the college, hates his course.

We moved here 8 weeks before the last lockdown. So he didn't make any friends (we had a drastic move so his accent doesn't fit, he just had a few of them taking the piss when he spoke, they nicknamed him Prince Harry the little shits).

Honestly if it wasn't for lock down he would've quit. He only had to go back one day a week sept - dec and because of teachers isolating and bubbles bursting he only had to go in three times.

He's only got a few months left but if I say that he gets so down. Nothing he can do about the course as he's so close to finishing. He'd have to do another 2 years in something else. He's fine well on the course at home.

He had to chose that course as he failed maths gcse the first time and it was the only option his old school, where he had friends and was happy to stay did so he sucked it up there just to get the ucas points basically. We had to move suddenly, with 6 weeks notice. But at this new place he's miserable. But it was the only college here that would take him due to the course and the units he'd already done etc.

Sorry didn't know what topic to put this in.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckadoodledoooo · 22/02/2021 15:10

Just wondering if anyone else's teens are feeling low about returning. All you seem to hear is how kids can't wait to get back to that it's ruining thier education, but he's the opposite.

OP posts:
nicetoseeyoutoseeyou · 22/02/2021 15:13

My son is 13 and not happy about going back. We've moved to a new area and he was supposed to start his new school in January but obviously, this hasn't happened. It's prolonged the apprehension, to be honest. I think he would be very happy to have blended learning. Not saying that is the best option for society, just saying that yes, not everyone is excited about going back. I would imagine that those children that suffer bullying are far from pleased either.

Downriver · 22/02/2021 15:15

Yes my DS, year 8, really miserable. Never bonded with anyone, school is really strict under tier conditions and his form tea her left. Really does not want to go back under these conditions.

Original poster
Fuckadoodledoooo · 22/02/2021 15:15

Sorry to hear your son isn't happy either.

Ds is 18 so I'm so scared he'll just quit. The guilt I have for moving him is unreal but we had no option.

OP posts:
teaandcustardcreamsx · 22/02/2021 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DavidsSchitt · 22/02/2021 15:19

Can't he just get a job? What course is he on?

User5768 · 22/02/2021 15:20

My dd is dreading it too. She cried when I told her

She’s year 6 and there seems to have been a lot of drama in school since September which has resulted in dd hating it

Original poster
Fuckadoodledoooo · 22/02/2021 15:21

@DavidsSchitt

Can't he just get a job? What course is he on?
No, he's got a specific career path in mind with the emergency services. He needs to finish the course and get the ucas points for the uni course.
OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 22/02/2021 15:27

Can you stretch out his home learning? Isolate, illness, close Covid contact etc. If he can complete his course from home.

Original poster
Fuckadoodledoooo · 22/02/2021 15:31

I've got his dad and grandparents telling him he just had to get on with it, but he doesn't talk to them the way he talks to me. So they don't know just how bad it's making him feel.

I just need to get him to June. Then it's done and he never has to go back there.

OP posts:
Oneweekleft · 22/02/2021 15:31

Well its part of life really isnt it. Its a very short time he'll have to put up with it and he'll have to just do if he needs to finish his course. In the future there might be jobs he hates but again has to put up with. Id try and frame it in a positive light to him.

tinylittleyou · 22/02/2021 15:34

My 9-year-old DS a bit down too- I think he feels like he will be having worst of both worlds in a way. Full-time school but no clubs, no play dates or socialising out of school, no days out or seeing friends and family at weekends. He’s excited about seeing classmates though.

Beebityboo · 22/02/2021 15:38

My daughter couldn't cope with secondary after all of the restrictions happened, she couldn't cope with the masks and the lack of access to her safe spaces like the library etc, she was suicidal. I pulled her out and am home educating until school is more normal. Appreciate not everyone can do this but I haven't regretted it. Now that masks are looking like they'll be needed in class she'd be wearing one for seven hours a day plus on the bus ride there and back.

mumonthehill · 22/02/2021 15:38

Honestly he needs to look at it in small chunks of time, so keep going until Easter, then keep going until may half term, then he is nearly done. We had this with ds as he repeated year 12 after one subject went pear shaped! We took to talking about short bursts of time so for it not to feel too long for him. He hated college but he kept going and is now at uni. He is too close to the end to give up now, it will be worth it if he gets where he wants to be in September. Just keep positive!

RedskyBynight · 22/02/2021 15:39

You could perhaps try posting in Education or Further Education as it sounds like his lack of enjoyment is probably at least partly due to moving at a non-standard time into a place that wasn't of his choosing. And of course, lockdown has not helped him to make friends. Have you spoken to pastoral care at the college? They might be able to suggest something or at least keep an eye on him.

DishedUp · 22/02/2021 15:40

Look hes 18, its only a few months. He's there to work, he just needs to go in do the lessons and go home again. The alternatives are not great

Realistically he does just have to get on with it. Its tough but he will have jobs he hates in the future and its a useful exercise in sticking it out to get what you want, which is presumably his job in the emergency services

Stilllivinginazoo · 22/02/2021 15:42

All 3 of mine prefer online learning
Eldest (16)has anxiety and depression and can pace herself better at home
DS(15) hates school,copes much better at home,has no friends
Youngest (13)sees no reason to return as can complete all tasks remotely and has exceeded expectations.her friendship group has crumbled due to 2kid leaving which has added to her not wanting to return
Tonight's announcements going to cause fun and games here....

MyCatLovesFish · 22/02/2021 15:43

My DS Year 13 would prefer not to go back as he vastly prefers the online teaching. He is also worried about bringing covid home to me as I have a handful of conditions which mean I would probably be really ill.

Original poster
Fuckadoodledoooo · 22/02/2021 15:45

@RedskyBynight

You could perhaps try posting in Education or Further Education as it sounds like his lack of enjoyment is probably at least partly due to moving at a non-standard time into a place that wasn't of his choosing. And of course, lockdown has not helped him to make friends. Have you spoken to pastoral care at the college? They might be able to suggest something or at least keep an eye on him.
Yeah, they were really understanding when he first started there but there isn't much they could do. The accent thing is a huge barrier for one - Ds is really confident but refused to present in class after jeers and being mocked. Lockdown has helped as he doesn't mind doing the presentations remotely.

The college is an hour away from where we live as well (it was really hard to find somewhere that would take him on the course at such an awkward part way through it), so he says there's no point getting to know anyone as most are local to the college.

He's being trying to get a part time job to maybe meet some local people but there are no jobs here so it's been futile.

I'll just have to keep telling him to keep his eyes on the end point.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckadoodledoooo · 22/02/2021 15:48

@DishedUp

Look hes 18, its only a few months. He's there to work, he just needs to go in do the lessons and go home again. The alternatives are not great

Realistically he does just have to get on with it. Its tough but he will have jobs he hates in the future and its a useful exercise in sticking it out to get what you want, which is presumably his job in the emergency services

I know.

It's just so bloody hard when you see them going through things like this and being so down about it. Especially as it would've been so different if we didn't have to move so far away just to be able to afford to rent.

OP posts:
IaltagDhubh · 22/02/2021 15:50

DD1, year 10, likes school, but she has health issues that may make her more vulnerable so she’s scared. She’s been getting on really well with school work online and enjoying it, so she’s not at all impressed with the thought of having to cram back into a classroom with lots of other people again.

SoupDragon · 22/02/2021 15:51

I just need to get him to June. Then it's done and he never has to go back there.

This is what you have to remind him of... it is only til June. He has a clear idea of what he wants to do and this is just a shit bit he ha to deal with on his way.

I'll just have to keep telling him to keep his eyes on the end point.

Yes. It's such a short length of time compared to his future career.

Good luck!

Etinox · 22/02/2021 15:52

Poor kid. Can you do a timeline with him? It’s very short time with a glittering prize at the end. Does he know where he’ll go with the UCAS points? Can you make plans to visit- maybe at May half term to have something to motivate him/ look forward to? And do anything trivial you can to help him fit in (even if it goes against every fibre of your being 🤯) DD still wears her £800 Moncler bought for her 18th ‘to fit in’ she’s 24 now!

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/02/2021 15:52

Emergency services is really hard with lots of rude unpleasant people to deal with.

I find that sometimes little tricks help. Have him think of it as the clients he is practicing on. How would be deal with some big bloke, who's high, taking the piss out of his accent?

It is rough, but it is time limited, and he will have to deal with shite if this is his chosen profession.

It's horrible when your kids are sad. Sad

B33Fr33 · 22/02/2021 15:53

If he wants to work in the emergency services as awful as it sounds he needs to look on some of this as dealing with the worst of the public. They are frequently rude, stupid, ignorant, obstructive and impossible to reason with.

But yes, stringing out until Easter should be straight forward. Dividing the time up to keep focused on his goal and fuck the rest of them.