Ds is seriously down about the (possible) school news

[Fuckadoodledoooo]

He's year 13. In college. He hates it. Hates the college, hates his course.

We moved here 8 weeks before the last lockdown. So he didn't make any friends (we had a drastic move so his accent doesn't fit, he just had a few of them taking the piss when he spoke, they nicknamed him Prince Harry the little shits).

Honestly if it wasn't for lock down he would've quit. He only had to go back one day a week sept - dec and because of teachers isolating and bubbles bursting he only had to go in three times.

He's only got a few months left but if I say that he gets so down. Nothing he can do about the course as he's so close to finishing. He'd have to do another 2 years in something else. He's fine well on the course at home.

He had to chose that course as he failed maths gcse the first time and it was the only option his old school, where he had friends and was happy to stay did so he sucked it up there just to get the ucas points basically. We had to move suddenly, with 6 weeks notice. But at this new place he's miserable. But it was the only college here that would take him due to the course and the units he'd already done etc.

Sorry didn't know what topic to put this in.

@Chewingle

I think *@Mummyoflittledragon* that we ate just a little baffled by your brutal approach to the OP’s son of saying he he cracks on unless on verge of breakdown.

Don’t know about you - but I don’t want my teenager close to reaching breakdown point

Yes I get that. It’s not how I meant it to come across. I do think it’s important to support to support his mental health at the same time as encouraging him to finish the course. For me stopping and starting all over again could be more detrimental. That’s why I disagree with throwing almost 2 years away unless he really can’t go on.

When ds1 finally hands his x NEAs in (next month) we are having a party 🥳
Balloons and everything 😬😁

He needs to look at small chunks its a few weeks back then easter hols then another few weeks then may half term and then few weeks and finished
And most college courses are not full time in every day , my ds year 13 is in 2 days , one day home learning and other 2 off at home to complete assignments .
How often does your ds have to go in?
My 2 are looking forward to going to school for the socail side tbh

@Bunnybigears

Fuckadoodledoooo to be fair he is 18 so whilst you maybe didn't have a choice about moving, he did. Also you say he has to stay as he has a career path in mind, well if thats the case then he has to go. He has to weigh up his future happiness with his happiness between now and June and make an adult decision about what he wants to do.

Well he didn't though. Where would he have lived while we upped and left? A room in our old area was £700 per month, we have no family he could've stayed with. As a 17 year old, he had to come with us really. And he wouldn't have wanted to be separated from us.

But yes. He's just going to have to do it, I know. It's just hard seeing him so unhappy when we are to blame for it by moving him.

Could he volunteer to meet some people locally, that might make it more tolerable. Fairly sure 18 yr olds can volunteer with the police.

www.police.uk/pu/careers-and-volunteering/

Sounds like he is dealing with some terrible bullying which is awful, and particularly bad for 18 yr olds. Yes he does just need to stick it out but I’m sure it is still awful for him.

My ds also doing quite a practical course so lockdown has meant his course has missed a lot of the fun stuff

@donewithitalltodayandxmas

He needs to look at small chunks its a few weeks back then easter hols then another few weeks then may half term and then few weeks and finished And most college courses are not full time in every day , my ds year 13 is in 2 days , one day home learning and other 2 off at home to complete assignments . How often does your ds have to go in? My 2 are looking forward to going to school for the socail side tbh

His tutor was taking about 4 days, maybe one of them a half day.

He has to be there 9-5:30 though as that's when the college coaches run (it would take twice as long on public transport and cost a lot).

@LH1987

Could he volunteer to meet some people locally, that might make it more tolerable. Fairly sure 18 yr olds can volunteer with the police.

www.police.uk/pu/careers-and-volunteering/

Sounds like he is dealing with some terrible bullying which is awful, and particularly bad for 18 yr olds. Yes he does just need to stick it out but I’m sure it is still awful for him.

He can't while he's going through the application process apparently, or that would have been a good option.

Will he even pass if he hates it so much? There’s not long to go but there’s always another route into Uni ( and most jobs). Was he going straight to Uni in September ? If not I’d let him quit get a job and do access course if he still wants Uni in a few years.

Can you help him out with the journey in and back or maybe sign him off fir a bit with long Covid or something if he’s desperate for Uni in September.

My son is doing btech as well and he finds it harder without some face to face teaching so its different for them all

@Thewinterofdiscontent

Will he even pass if he hates it so much? There’s not long to go but there’s always another route into Uni ( and most jobs). Was he going straight to Uni in September ? If not I’d let him quit get a job and do access course if he still wants Uni in a few years.

Can you help him out with the journey in and back or maybe sign him off fir a bit with long Covid or something if he’s desperate for Uni in September.

Yeah he's getting good marks. It's always just been a means to an end but he's bright.

Sorry, the police degree is slightly different. It's a degree through a uni, but not at uni. It's two days a week in a training centre, he'll be working in the police the other days.

And they have rolling starts, the application process is a long one.

Luckily my son can walk so onky goes in for when needed , can you get a def finish date as I know mine is due to finish potentially earlier as they are ahead on the assignments? Even a week or 2 earlier might make it more bearable for him, also maybe if he can do a day at home under circumstances as guess some remote provision will still be provided for those isolating etc

I really feel for you and him. My DS (now at Uni) really struggled in his last A Level year. He had weeks and weeks of counselling, we had family appointments, nothing helped. I made an offer to give up school and home school with me if he wanted to. This would have been very hard as it was A Levels and he was already behind. He really appreciated the offer and considered but decided to stay as the time was so short. As it happened he then broke up in March 2020 and then never went back. But perhaps make him the offer and don't make him go? Bullying is absolutely awful and I feel very sorry for you both, it's really not easy.

I'm sorry for him. Is the assessment exam based or coursework? Can you find out if he can take the exam independently? He would get the syllabus from college now, studies at home and deals directly with the exam board.
Has he considered joining the local Territorial Army unit in your area to make friends?

@DianaT1969

I'm sorry for him. Is the assessment exam based or coursework? Can you find out if he can take the exam independently? He would get the syllabus from college now, studies at home and deals directly with the exam board. Has he considered joining the local Territorial Army unit in your area to make friends?

TA is a great idea.

They cancelled the jan exam. I think they cancelled all this years btec exam? God knows anymore.