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Original poster

A Few Things Missing from the Leak

53 replies

CheeseJalapenoBread · 22/02/2021 11:24

I’m a bit concerned that the leaked roadmap doesn’t include a formal ceremony in July in which the phrase “(socially distanced of course)” is buried a 500m deep pit, set alight and covered over with reinforced concrete.

OP posts:
RedskyBynight · 22/02/2021 11:30

How many "socially distanced of course" guests would be allowed at this ceremony?

Original poster
CheeseJalapenoBread · 22/02/2021 11:38

@RedskyBynight

How many "socially distanced of course" guests would be allowed at this ceremony?
1,000. Socially distanced of course.
OP posts:
Covidcorvid · 22/02/2021 11:56

Sounds like a funeral to me so is that 15 or 30 allowed? Grin

ChilliChaos · 22/02/2021 11:58

Can ‘Whilst shopping for essentials’ have the plot next to it please?

Toomanyparsnips · 22/02/2021 12:01

Also "daily exercise".

AfternoonToffee · 22/02/2021 12:03

I guess it will help keep employment rates up for a while too.

Wrongsideofhistorymyarse · 22/02/2021 12:05

Can we throw in the word 'bubble' while we're at it?

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/02/2021 12:12

@Wrongsideofhistorymyarse

Can we throw in the word 'bubble' while we're at it?
Into the same communal plague pit as “sadly died”, “life will never be the same again, I’m afraid” and “so so selfish.”
Original poster
CheeseJalapenoBread · 22/02/2021 12:14

@Wrongsideofhistorymyarse

Can we throw in the word 'bubble' while we're at it?
No, because I have bubbles with my mum, my dad, my gran, my other gran, my best friend, her two kids, the local badger, my tennis partner, my tennis instructor, the old lady whose bins I take out, Janet who lives over the back, and my cousin in Runcorn.
OP posts:
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 22/02/2021 12:14

How about 'alas'?

goingpearshaped · 22/02/2021 12:17

Unprecedented? I used to like that word but not now. Also, covid times. I just caught myself saying it. I should also be in that plot as a result.

Scarby9 · 22/02/2021 12:17

But if you bury 'alas', a thousand drinking games lose their raison d'etre.

Truelymadlydeeplysomeonesmum · 22/02/2021 12:19

I want to throw in the actual people that write Stay Safe or Covid Safe on personal emails

goingpearshaped · 22/02/2021 12:20

Can we add thursday clapping?

Truelymadlydeeplysomeonesmum · 22/02/2021 12:21

Definitely

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 22/02/2021 12:25

@Scarby9

But if you bury 'alas', a thousand drinking games lose their raison d'etre.
Maybe that's the only reason there has been an increase in problem drinking in lockdown. Grin
TheOrigRights · 22/02/2021 12:35

"these difficult times"
"stay safe"

Dontlickthetrolley · 22/02/2021 12:36

What about Next Slide Please?

Fancymarmite · 22/02/2021 12:39

I would like to add ‘due to covid’ when used to explain shit customer service that is most definitely not ‘due to covid’!

Tronkmanton · 22/02/2021 12:43

Please can I add ‘the new normal’ ?

Tiktokersmiracle · 22/02/2021 12:44

Hand face space
And that bastard "look them in the eye" advert needs fucking right off into a pit

Doyoumind · 22/02/2021 12:46

Comtesse, you may enjoy this.

A Few Things Missing from the Leak
Onedaysomedaynowadays · 22/02/2021 12:48

If we're burying alas also gotta chuck alack in right after itGrin

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 22/02/2021 12:52

We could burn our masks?

How about a bank holiday Bozzer? Get the hospitality industry going again

ClaudiaWankleman · 22/02/2021 12:52

I'd like to add all 'you wouldn't survive the Blitz', 'our grandparents suffered more than this for years' and 'you're only being asked to sit and watch Netflix for a bit' comments to the bonfire.