“No onesies please as it makes the children in school jealous”

[Lemons1571]

A message from the head of our primary. Please could all parents at home please ensure their primary children are fully dressed in day clothes ready for their class 9am zoom. No onesies. Apparently the children actually allowed to go to school are annoyed seeing their classmates lounging at home in onesies / pj’s / loungewear.

Ummm, I’m sorry, I thought I heard you issuing instructions on what I must / must not do in my own house. What possible authority does a school have to do this? Kids forced out of face to face education. Being shown some lovely examples of the artwork done by the kids at school over zoom with the caveat “oh don’t worry I know you can’t do this at home”.

Read the room ffs. Just another request to put other people’s children before my own. As it happens my primary child gets dressed of his own accord, but if he wanted to wear a onesie then quite frankly anyone else’s opinion can fuck off.

Physically going to school = uniform worn as per school rules.
Physically barred from school = my house my rules.

No doubt I’m overreacting but it annoyed me!

It is a reasonable request and note the word request. No one is going to break down your door and force you, it's just a polite request, one that I don't think any reasonable person would refuse.

Zoom calls are likely to be the future for work and business and you wouldn't take one in your pyjamas. If anything, it is good practise for children to learn good work habits.

It does effect learning too. There is a big difference between sitting at a desk fully dressed compared to lounging in bed in your jammies.

I'm not so sure the poverty line applies here too either. In my experience, parents that are struggling go above and beyond to make sure that their children are well presented and have what they need, even if it means sacrificing their own clothing and meals. They are keenly aware of their financial situation and don't want their children to be labelled with it.

Often, you find it is middle class parents and those who are more well off who don't really care what their children wear. It's almost a fashion statement to have long unruly hair and hand me down play clothes etc.

@OnlyBejoking gosh mine would rather be in school too. All this jealousy this and jealous that

Own clothes are fine but they should be dressed in day clothes.

YABU. Of course the head can specify what children wear during lessons. Yes, he does have that authority. He also has authority to impose school rules over anyone dressed in school
Uniform, where ever they are. And to ban any student from online learning if they are not dressed in uniform. I suggest you Teach your children to follow the rules, or they are going to have a miserable time at school, and poor outcomes

I'd reply sarcastically and say sorry we don't get up until 8.55 so will continue to wear our onesies as we see fit, otherwise we will be late to the call.

As a teacher, what is the head thinking as a parent, the head can do it!

Is the call a social : catch up or a lesson?

Your house, your rules? I might even stir the boat more and have my child in fancy dress, see how that went down!

Oops - my little boy did his meeting in board shorts and a T-shirt with a beach background the other day 😐

My son's school have said no zooms in bedrooms, no onesies or pyjamas, no food or drink even a water bottle during a call, definitely no filters or backgrounds. I actually thought all schools were doing similar but I suppose my son's school is quite strict.

I can understand the school not wanting children to join online calls in their pjs, but the wording of the email doesn't sound good or the reasoning given.

Our 3 DCs are attending school on days our shifts overlap, meaning we can't have them at home. In our schools they are not getting "an education" - it is not their teacher looking after them, they are not doing PE or art. It is basically - "there's a computer, get on with the work set" They have the same access to their teachers as the children at home.

I would much rather have them at home where I know I can keep them safe, they would much rather be at home. But DH and I have to carry on working to help in getting us all through this. Our children know that each time we leave for work we are at risk, and that we could bring it home. Hearing people say they are jealous of our children is ridiculous. This isn't a choice for us, or them, it's a necessity.

I agree with most - it is a very reasonable request.
Well, what is a poor reflection is the fact that parents have to be reminded, and can't understand / work out for themselves it is inappropriate for their dc to be on camera in their nightware all day.

I provide online tuition for a secondary school: their policy is "no pyjamas" for pupils.

I think it's a reasonable request.

I'm with you OP.

It's a really challenging time right now.

DH and I are cat1 keyworkers but have been denied keyworker places for the children as one of ours has SEN and they can't meet his adaptations within the keyworker provision.

Given that, and the strain that puts us under, I will not accept any terms and conditions placed upon us, from the school, in our own home. We need to do what works for us, and what keeps everyone's stress as low as possible. DH in particular is on the Covid frontline, and that's enough stress for all of us.

I don't want this to be the time my kids spent being policed in their own house, being forced to dress smart to sit on a Google Meet all day, while me and DH alternately ignore them for work calls, Teams meetings and virtual consultations, occasionally begging them to be quiet.

I'd prefer them to remember it as a time when they could do unusual things....like completing their Maths while wearing a Pikachu onesie if they want.

If they look back on this as the time they spent 3 months in pyjamas, that's a hell of a lot better than the time they were terrified that their dad might get sick at work and die while their teacher made trivial demands about their clothing.

Did the school actually say it was because the other kids were jealous? Our school says properly dressed as a safeguarding issue.

Yanbu

I'm with you Op.

It's enough of a battle for you as it is.

Expecting all children to be appropriately dressed for zoom calls is completely reasonable and all schools I am involved with have similar requirements. His reasons for asking. For it are badly thought through and we’re bound to piss somebody off.
Surely you can appreciate though that many of the children at school would rather be the ones at home.
I think sharing what the children are doing is fine - as long as it involves work form kids at school and home.
Again, this is how all the schools I’m involved with are doing this.
Maybe instead of moaning about seeing the work in school you suggest that the other kids be allowed to share what they’ve been doing??
Get your kid to put a jumper over the top of his onesie for calls!

I agree with you too! Have no idea if all of the other children are in their PJs as there are no Zoom lessons to see. My children are all dressed but one of the parents did a Zoom meeting on Friday to cheer up the kids and there were a few PJ-esque outfits in there.
Don't think the headmistress has any business trying to dictate what the children are wearing.

YABU
It's not unreasonable so say that students should be dressed for the day and not in sleepwear.

Maybe I should do my online classes in my dressing gown because it's my house and my rulez.

Not the right way to communicate the message but we were asked to ensure children are fully dressed and not in pjs on zooms, also device to be in a communal space in the home. I took it all as safeguarding. I'd be annoyed if I was told to not make kids at school jealous.

I don’t think it’s a reasonable request. Kids are having a shit time with home schooling /being ignored by working from home Parents and not seeing their pals. We need to do whatever is necessary to make them that week but more comfortable or happy and if that means wearing a onesie or a Batman costume or school uniform or whatever then so be. It’s hard enough for them just now and these are extraordinary times so allow them a semblance of control over their lives which at this point in time really only is what they can wear, watch on tv and have for lunch.

Surely getting your kids dressed is normal. They'll be more ready to learn

Have you got any idea what it’s like to have to send your child into school? It is risky and they are scared. You have to refrain from onesies. Poor you. Get a grip.

I think it’s reasonable to ask that the children are not still in their pyjamas and as a parent I would make sure they were dressed ready for the lesson anyway. However I do agree with the part about school showing off what kids are doing there. For a long time I thought we were told that the kids at school were just being looked after and wouldn’t be taught. However we have had several videos sent from the classroom of the children doing certain tasks, doing pe in the hall and it’s really upsetting for the ones sitting at home. I do think there should be discretion on both sides.

[quote Blessex]@worraliberty I am a single full time working mum. I am always too busy.[/quote]
You're always too busy for what?

To make sure your kids are dressed?

Do you manage to make sure they brush their teeth? If so, why not tell them to jump into their clothes as soon as they've done it?

It's not complicated unless you want to make it that way.

@mummyinbeccles onesies hurt

@WorraLiberty ffs. My kids clean their teeth. But if they choose to do their mandarin lesson in their onesie I am not going to lose my shit whilst I am on a call negotiating a contract.