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Original poster

“No onesies please as it makes the children in school jealous”

954 replies

Lemons1571 · 30/01/2021 15:43

A message from the head of our primary. Please could all parents at home please ensure their primary children are fully dressed in day clothes ready for their class 9am zoom. No onesies. Apparently the children actually allowed to go to school are annoyed seeing their classmates lounging at home in onesies / pj’s / loungewear.

Ummm, I’m sorry, I thought I heard you issuing instructions on what I must / must not do in my own house. What possible authority does a school have to do this? Kids forced out of face to face education. Being shown some lovely examples of the artwork done by the kids at school over zoom with the caveat “oh don’t worry I know you can’t do this at home”.

Read the room ffs. Just another request to put other people’s children before my own. As it happens my primary child gets dressed of his own accord, but if he wanted to wear a onesie then quite frankly anyone else’s opinion can fuck off.

Physically going to school = uniform worn as per school rules.
Physically barred from school = my house my rules.

No doubt I’m overreacting but it annoyed me!

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 03/02/2021 07:21

mumwalk the luxury of what? A chair and a table?

I wouldn't necessarily say they're luxuries, but that poster is right when they point out not all children have an appropriate place to work.

katiegoestoaldi · 03/02/2021 08:11

These comments are so depressing. Let the kids wear onesies if they want. Kids are going to learn best when they feel comfortable. Mine would feel discombobulated wearing their uniform in the house. You wear clothes according to the setting, they're not in school

I'm also concerned at a Head thinking they can dictate what children do in their own homes

Lockdownbear · 03/02/2021 08:23

@katiegoestoaldi

These comments are so depressing. Let the kids wear onesies if they want. Kids are going to learn best when they feel comfortable. Mine would feel discombobulated wearing their uniform in the house. You wear clothes according to the setting, they're not in school

I'm also concerned at a Head thinking they can dictate what children do in their own homes

The head didn't ask for uniform, just day clothes. I really don't think it's a big ask that kids are dressed before going on zoom / being seen in public.
mumwalk · 03/02/2021 08:37

@effyouaeekay Most people I know don't have separate table and chairs for each child. We are both in back to back calls all day so it doesn't work for the kids to sit with us at the table. The dining table is too small anyway and we can't all fit around it with all the kit we need for work let alone school. My kids are lucky to have a bedroom each but they don't have desks, nor do they have space for tables in their rooms. I think at the moment space and facilities are very much a luxury that some might take for granted.

Frodont · 03/02/2021 09:01

Mine wear hoodies and pj's for most of the day. As do I!

wildchild554 · 03/02/2021 10:24

@EffYouSeeKaye We didn't have a dining table even till a couple of years ago when we were given one, wasn't a priority as bills and food etc comes first so don't assume what people have. We didn't have a washing machine till recently for 2 years till I could save up. If I hadn't been given a dining table I still wouldn't have one and they'd have to manage on their laps. Yes when your income is low it's not a priority it is a luxury.

Nonamesavail · 03/02/2021 10:33

I asked my Dd (8) if her and her friends that are in school would care and she doesn't think she would even notice and no one would care, they are all doing the call whether at home or school.

EffYouSeeKaye · 03/02/2021 10:33

I think it’s the ‘most people’ element of not having a chair and a table to sit at that I’m surprised at. I’m sure some don’t, but not most.

Lockdownbear · 03/02/2021 10:38

@Nonamesavail

I asked my Dd (8) if her and her friends that are in school would care and she doesn't think she would even notice and no one would care, they are all doing the call whether at home or school.
Ask her how she'd feel about her friends parents or stangers seeing her in her pjs?
wildchild554 · 03/02/2021 10:42

@EffYouSeeKaye probably depends where you live, i wouldn't be suprised where I live a lot of low income families plus those in flats don't have much room to have one.

Streamingbannersofdawn · 03/02/2021 10:48

My friends children like onesies, They are washed and hair brushed, well fed etc...they just like to be in a onesie.

Avidreader12 · 03/02/2021 11:38

Don’t know why people are surprised at not having chair table for kids to work on can you not imagine two adults working from home with associated computers equipment then add in multiple kids which don’t have a device each. a lot of people are working on their dining table which is then supposed to double as a classroom/ adult work station/ and place for family meals. Not everyone has spare bedrooms room in kitchen for a table etc.

thirdfiddle · 03/02/2021 13:56

We have a big house and consider ourselves well off - but 2 adults working at desk and spare table, secondary school kid working at dining table: primary school kid is mostly making do with sofa and side table, or knee as side table is very low.

We're all making do and most of us are doing our best. I don't have a lot of patience with people making arbitrary requirements based on their own facilities or habits.

GrannyRose15 · 03/02/2021 14:36

@LolaSmiles

mumwalk the luxury of what? A chair and a table?

I wouldn't necessarily say they're luxuries, but that poster is right when they point out not all children have an appropriate place to work.

Not all children have a table to sit at either. There are many households now without a table where, instead, meals are eaten on knees in front of the TV.

So yes, having a proper desk to put your laptop on, with a proper chair to sit on is a luxury.

And, don't forget, there may be more than one child in the household so they may have to do a timeshare on what equipment there is available.

GrannyRose15 · 03/02/2021 14:38

Sorry, lolasmiles., my message should have been directed at
EffYouSeeKaye not you. I am actually agreeing with you.

EffYouSeeKaye · 03/02/2021 16:18

Point taken about the lack of availability of chairs and tables. I can definitely tell some children are working at tables alongside adults working from home, as they are wearing headphones so as not to disturb each other too much.

As I’ve already said, I just take them as I find them and crack on with the lesson. You don’t know what circumstances everyone at home is under and, for the most part, everyone is just doing their best. If you can make sure the children are fed and dressed before their live lessons, with pencil and paper, or similar, as they would be for school, then great. I’d say that’s a bare minimum and absolutely enough. A table and chair is of course ideal, but not essential.

malificent7 · 03/02/2021 16:45

I think changing out of loungewear in the day is better for mental health and puts us in the work mindset. Yabu.

marshmallowfluffy · 03/02/2021 16:48

Ask her how she'd feel about her friends parents or stangers seeing her in her pjs?

Dressing up in pjs for Children in Need or going to a sleepover is hardly unusual

thirdfiddle · 03/02/2021 19:14

I think changing out of loungewear in the day is better for mental health and puts us in the work mindset. Yabu.

DS lives in joggers and hoodies when not at school. I'm not going to force him into something more fashionable just because covid. Or is 2-piece loungewear okay and one-piece lazy slob? That seems rather arbitrary if so. It would feel hypocritical to tell DD that she can't wear an outfit that's basically identical to DS's but with a seam round the middle.

How about you do what works best for your mental health and let others do what works for theirs?

I think one thing we've learned in this crisis is that clothes doesn't matter much. Kids went to school two days a week in joggers and t-shirts (PE kit = loungewear), just as much work got done and they were comfier to boot. I hope they won't go back to wasting hours getting little ones changed and unchanged. Personally I think they should just make the joggers and t-shirts the uniform.

YorkshireTeacherDad · 04/02/2021 16:02

YABU!!! I joined this site after reading about your opinion in a newspaper. Specifically to ask you to support the school and teachers who are depserately trying to help you raise your child.

katiegoestoaldi · 05/02/2021 00:16

YABU!!! I joined this site after reading about your opinion in a newspaper. Specifically to ask you to support the school and teachers who are depserately trying to help you raise your child.

Oh give over! No one's child is going to go off the rails because they like wearing a onesie!

wildchild554 · 05/02/2021 11:11

I can't believe that this is now in the press. Would have thought there's better things to write about than onesies

NoSquirrels · 05/02/2021 11:57

@YorkshireTeacherDad

YABU!!! I joined this site after reading about your opinion in a newspaper. Specifically to ask you to support the school and teachers who are depserately trying to help you raise your child.
Teachers aren't trying to help parents raise children. They're trying to help educate them. Which is as possible in a onesie as it is in a hoodie and joggers, frankly.

But it's also fine for the school to remind parents that it would be more appropriate for the children to look like they're dressed and ready to learn and that they'd appreciate parents' support on this.

thirdfiddle · 05/02/2021 13:49

I would suggests teachers concentrate their energy on things that matter - engaging the children - not things that don't - what they choose to wear in their own homes. For some people, being formally dressed helps. For others, being as comfortable as possible helps. Some are struggling to tune in at all, you don't know how hard any given family are struggling. Best to just accept pupils for what they can bring in the current circumstances.

youngfarmer · 07/02/2021 16:41

My daughters' schools have requested that pupils attend in full school uniform if they are in school, and have 'suggested' that home schooling pupils do the same, because they believe that it gives pupils differentiation between 'down time' and 'school time', even though the boundaries are obviously more blurred for pupils home schooling. My children are in school and have been happy with this.