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Original poster

If you have an only child -

188 replies

Workyticket · 23/01/2021 17:47

have they played with anyone else since Christmas?

DS is 8. We play, chat, cook together etc and he chats with pals on the xbox but he's not played with another child since before Christmas and I'm struggling with the thought of him not having the opportunity for god knows how long

It's his birthday next week too which I think is making me feel more emotional about it.

OP posts:
DianaT1969 · 23/01/2021 23:10

This thread reminds me of the summer. We were allowed out. I took every opportunity to meet friends in outside restaurants and coffee shops while the rate of infection was low. We knew the winter was going to be worse, and that stricter measures would apply. Yet lots of people on MN said they were staying inside!
Get outside for playdates with their best friend from school.

EnigmaticIcelandShopper · 23/01/2021 23:14

@DianaT1969

Why aren't these children meeting a friend outside? As someone said, if they were going to school, they'd be mixing with 30 people inside. Sort out a playdate outside people!
It's not as easy as that for everyone I'm afraid. We almost got fined last week for driving 1.5 mile to our local park. I explained to the officer that it's our most local park. We don't have pavements outside our house and the walk would be along a national speed limit single track country lane... So not the safest. We got escorted back to our car reminded to exercise from our front door only and told that next time it would be a fine. My sons school is over 5 miles away, so most friends are over the border... No chance of socialising.
Original poster
Workyticket · 23/01/2021 23:15

It's so sad for them - I'm not naturally a role play parent (hate playing lego and cars) but have forced myself to.

We're both teaching online at home so ds has to wait a lot to speak to us too which is hard and I'm working on structuring my lessons so that i can set students off and pay him attention

We spend loads of time playing family Trivial Pursuit, dominoes, Harry potter quizzes and love a cuddle up with an audio book

It's not the same as playing footy with his pals or dreaming up new quests for their imaginary school hacker

I'm keen to get him together with a pal but when lockdown one was coming to an end it was me who broached it with his 2 best friends' parents to get them together and they took ages to think about it before reluctantly agreeing which made me feel a bit pushy and rule breaking!

OP posts:
GrolliffetheDragon · 23/01/2021 23:26

@DianaT1969

Why aren't these children meeting a friend outside? As someone said, if they were going to school, they'd be mixing with 30 people inside. Sort out a playdate outside people!
I don't have anyone to contact to arrange it. I know one mum in passing and that's it. I work full time, I didn't often drop off DS at school or pick him up.

We've gone past the playground a few times on walks, DS doesn't want to go in. Plus DH is vulnerable (possibly could be classed as CEV, but the advice for his condition is confused and contradictory so we've been in limbo on that...) so DS being in school was a worry.

It's all a bit crap really.

WeatherwaxOn · 23/01/2021 23:29

No. We've bumped into people out walking and the kids have chatted, and there have been a few times when people have dropped shopping to us/vice versa.
School is online and there is the brief opportunity for them to chat. Right now we have a lot of birthdays and they're all doing zoom parties.
Phone has been set up for DC to video call friends (with permission from friends' parents), as well so they're able to see each other.

noblegreenk · 23/01/2021 23:33

Yes. My two year old has been back in childcare 2 days a week since September. To be fair, she's pretty good at entertaining herself and being entertained at home with me, but I'm so pleased she can see her friends at the childminders.

PrtScn · 23/01/2021 23:37

Yes, my son goes to nursery and when we weren't in lockdown has played with his cousins (in our bubble).

KylieKangaroo · 23/01/2021 23:37

My DD hasn't played with anyone either. She is also so attached to her cuddly toys now whereas she wasn't bothered before. She does think I'm her friend though and me or my other half have to play with her all day long!

seethingsdifferently · 23/01/2021 23:53

Ds went for a walk with a friend today. That's the first time he has met a friend since schools closed. A different friend phoned him a few days ago which was nice. Neither of them are friends from school. I wish he kept in touch with friends from school.

williowrosenburg · 24/01/2021 00:22

Our DD has just turned 5 and yeah hasn't played with another child since her last day at school before Christmas break .
She is desperate for someone to play with. Both DH and I are working full time. We really don't know what to do to be honest.

Her best friend is an only child but her mum is a teacher so they are both in school! Other wise I'd have her round in a heart beat!
My DH is really cautious so doesn't want her playing in the park 😞 I'm dreading that this will go on till April.

roundturnandtwohalfhitches · 24/01/2021 00:27

DS is 12 and hasn't seen anyone. He does message his mates etc but he said today they are doing it less as they don't have much to talk about now there's no school. That made me v sad.

namechangetheworld · 24/01/2021 00:46

My five year old hadn't seen any children other than her baby sister since schools closed before Christmas. She's great at entertaining herself and doesn't seem bothered to be honest. I'm not sure if that's a good sign or not. She does have a huge attachment to her stuffed animals, and will spend hours playing schools with them, holding full blown conversations on their behalf!

Littlewhitedove2 · 24/01/2021 00:48

@DianaT1969

Why aren't these children meeting a friend outside? As someone said, if they were going to school, they'd be mixing with 30 people inside. Sort out a playdate outside people!
Because we are not meant to be ‘arranging play dates- it’s currently against the law!’ You are allowed (in England) to meet with one person outside for exercise at a distance. Children in England are included in this. You are NOT allowed to meet with a mum, and your child and their child. That makes 4 of you. Sadly if your child is not old enough to go out alone then there will be a group of 4 of you. You are not allowed either to look after another child unless it’s your support bubble or childcare bubble. Technically you could be fined for this. It’s absolutely shit and so so damaging to children. My own children haven’t seen anyone either since before Christmas except through a screen. We have been to the play park within walking distance but not seen anyone we know there Absolutely awful
0gfhty · 24/01/2021 01:11

@TheOtherMaryBerry

I wonder why they chose not too and if that is allowed.

I honestly don't know. It's a very small preschool and they spend a lot of time mixing with the reception class and share a big, two side, classroom, so I think in this case it's been treated like an extension of reception. It's annoying because we had the option of sending him to a private nursery that's just next door but went for the preschool for a few reasons, but it looks like the wrong decision now. I did enquire at the nursery but they don't want to take anyone on at the mo. I'm just hoping it won't be too long!!

A preschool nearby in a nursery that is mixed with the reception class did this also. However last week the council said to them that they had to offer a place to all those early years children or they would lose their funding (the 15 or 30 hours nursery children get). So it may be worth contacting the local authority.
0gfhty · 24/01/2021 01:17

@DianaT1969

Why aren't these children meeting a friend outside? As someone said, if they were going to school, they'd be mixing with 30 people inside. Sort out a playdate outside people!
Because they're too young and need an adult to go out and meet a friend by themselves
hopeitsnows · 24/01/2021 01:35

Mine hasn't seen a dc since 8th December when their school shut. It's awful. We live rurally. I've taken them to the park and it's empty as the weathers so rubbish.
They FaceTime play but it's not the same and it's so utterly sad. My dc turned 7 in the last lockdown. I try to play as much as possible with them but I'm breaking from trying to homeschool work and be the main entertainment somehow. S

I feel so sad for my dc but I try to reassure myself better times are coming and if I just get them through this it will be better at some point.

pixelplane · 24/01/2021 01:57

Mine is young enough to be at nursery thank goodness, so she is getting all her peer social interaction there. Outside of nursery she doesn't see any other children - well I take her to the playground and she sees children there, but she doesn't play with them (we never see anyone we know and she's too shy to just play with a random child). I do loads of play with her but to be honest I'm much better at structured activities. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that nurseries can stay open (and that schools will be back to normal by the time she starts school).

Oneweekleft · 24/01/2021 07:33

I have 3 ds's, we meet up with ds2's friend a couple of times a week (they're 6). It benefits ds 2 but mostly benefits his friend who is an only child and really missing social interaction. If I had an only child I'd definitely find some other children and their parents who'd be willing to meet up. It could be just one other child they can see regularly. I really think it's cruel otherwise. We wouldn't deprive a child food as it's neglectful so we shouldn't deprive them of social contact with friends as it's a basic need.

Paddingtonthebear · 24/01/2021 07:54

No, my 8yr old only child hasn’t seen/played with another child since before Xmas. The kids she is friendly with at school are all in school together too. Half of her class is in school. She seems ok but yes I do feel bad for her. I haven’t suggested meeting up outside as i thought it wasn’t allowed.

Raindropsonrosesand · 24/01/2021 07:58

My 8yo hasn't played with another child since this lockdown started. Before Christmas (in tier 4), she played with one of the neighbouring children at a time. I'd love her to be able to do that again, but we made the call to stop - even though cycling together on the street would be exercise with one person - because Dr friends have told me how bad it is in the hospitals around here just now.

bookworm14 · 24/01/2021 08:05

My DD is 5, and I have recently been breaking the rules to allow her to meet with one friend at a time in the playground. It’s either that or she sees no one, and I’m not prepared to sacrifice her mental health indefinitely. In Scotland under-12s are exempt from the rules on meeting up outdoors - this should be the case in England and Wales too.

Ilovethewild · 24/01/2021 08:17

So sad reading these comments. My ds9 is going into school but we have also regularly meet with friends in the park (at least once a month but often twice), for footy/play in playground with a couple of friends. Parents stand away from kids and chat/ wear masks.

It’s vital for my ds mental health to be playing with his friends.

Bumblebee1980a · 24/01/2021 08:24

@TheOtherMaryBerry

I wonder why they chose not too and if that is allowed.

I honestly don't know. It's a very small preschool and they spend a lot of time mixing with the reception class and share a big, two side, classroom, so I think in this case it's been treated like an extension of reception. It's annoying because we had the option of sending him to a private nursery that's just next door but went for the preschool for a few reasons, but it looks like the wrong decision now. I did enquire at the nursery but they don't want to take anyone on at the mo. I'm just hoping it won't be too long!!

Our preschool is split into there sections (lower nursery, upper nursery and reception) but they mix intermittently during the day.

The lower and upper are there and reception isn't so I honestly don't see why they can't open.

As another poster mentioned I would contact your local authority. I personally think the nursery side of it should be open.

Bumblebee1980a · 24/01/2021 08:25

@bookworm14

My DD is 5, and I have recently been breaking the rules to allow her to meet with one friend at a time in the playground. It’s either that or she sees no one, and I’m not prepared to sacrifice her mental health indefinitely. In Scotland under-12s are exempt from the rules on meeting up outdoors - this should be the case in England and Wales too.
I can't say I blame you. Mental health is just as important. Our kids need social integration, especially with children their own age.
Alfaix · 24/01/2021 08:31

TBH I think one child meeting one other child (with parents staying distanced while supervising) outside for play/ exercise is in the spirit of the rules. The government have just forgotten about kids as usual.