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Original poster

If you have an only child -

188 replies

Workyticket · 23/01/2021 17:47

have they played with anyone else since Christmas?

DS is 8. We play, chat, cook together etc and he chats with pals on the xbox but he's not played with another child since before Christmas and I'm struggling with the thought of him not having the opportunity for god knows how long

It's his birthday next week too which I think is making me feel more emotional about it.

OP posts:
TheOtherMaryBerry · 23/01/2021 22:03

I wonder why they chose not too and if that is allowed.

I honestly don't know. It's a very small preschool and they spend a lot of time mixing with the reception class and share a big, two side, classroom, so I think in this case it's been treated like an extension of reception. It's annoying because we had the option of sending him to a private nursery that's just next door but went for the preschool for a few reasons, but it looks like the wrong decision now. I did enquire at the nursery but they don't want to take anyone on at the mo. I'm just hoping it won't be too long!!

Sewfrickinamazeballs · 23/01/2021 22:05

DD is 4 (almost 5) and not seen another child since before Xmas too. Our play parks have now been closed so even fewer chances of ‘seeing’ a child in real life. It’s so hard to hear her cry about not having any friends to play with. Breaks my heart.

BejeweledCrocs · 23/01/2021 22:08

No my 6yo hasnt. Since mid December (when his school bubble closed) we managed one meet up with a friend. Then schools shut and its been tier 4 or lockdown.

He doesn't seem very bothered but I feel sad about it. I dont want to break rules, but have no judgement for those who needed to meet up if they were suffering. It's been a shit time hasnt it x

LadyCatStark · 23/01/2021 22:13

DS (11) skateboards with his 2 friends on the street. They’re naturally apart when skateboarding and stay outdoors. DH and I have worked from home since March and DS is remote learning so if we catch Covid from them, the buck stops with us. We’re in a support bubble with my sister as she’s a single parent so he can see his cousins indoors. My sister is also WFH so again she’s not going to pass anything on to anyone vulnerable.

I’m happy to follow the rules as adults but like hell am I going stop DS seeing any other children for months on end. In the first lockdown he didn’t see a single other child for 3 months.

UsernameFail · 23/01/2021 22:13

My 6yr old only hasn't seen anyone since before Christmas. We don't have any family and recently moved schools so he is just starting to make friends. It's a nightmare. The school are doing online classes and he's really struggling. I feel so bad for him

indemMUND · 23/01/2021 22:16

@GalesThisMorning No, no one to bubble with, my sisters have made their own bubbles with in laws (they have babies). Neighbour on one side is elderly and shielding. Neighbours the other side have teenage/adult kids. DD's father has been absent for over a year and due to his behaviour there's no contact I can make with her half sister (2 years old now). It's just us two for the foreseeable. It's like we're stuck on a little island. I haven't spoken to another adult in person for more than a minute for a long time. But it's DD I worry about.

timeforanother1 · 23/01/2021 22:18

Gosh everyone I'm welling up reading this.

Mine is 3 and at nursery as dp and I are keyworkers. So many times I have thanked my lucky stars Covid hasn't impacted much.

It's so sad to hear especially as there isn't much you can do.

I would definitely arrange with other parents a time you can go to a local park so they can chat/ play. A park is communal so chances are they'll be playing by other kids- so why not their friend. If local exercise is done at the same time and adults stay apart I'm pretty sure the rules aren't being broken.
Obviously some won't be comfortable with this so I suppose then it's zoom / FaceTime chats.

GalesThisMorning · 23/01/2021 22:22

Wow. That sounds really tough. How is your daughter coping? Wish you lived in my village, we all talk to one another on the street and there are plenty of kids about. I hope your daughter is managing okay. And you too Flowers

equuscaballus · 23/01/2021 22:24

This is just so sad.

As a parent for a long time, I have been feeling very uncomfortable about my being complicit in my child's enforced isolation.
Do I quietly draw the line myself? or wait for the government to notice the damage being done to only children and introduce measures to help them?

MessAllOver · 23/01/2021 22:26

My 3yo is at nursery 2.5 weeks a year. He's also very outgoing so we always seem to pick up stray children at the playground or in the park. Last week, a boy who was maybe six months older than my DS adopted us and started following us around and calling me "Mummy" Confused. DS and this boy had a great game of chase all around the playground. His dad was sitting on a bench on the other side of the playground, earphones in, tapping away on his phone and ignoring the child Angry. I find it awkward atm to know where to draw the line with the children DS befriends...I don't allow hugging and encourage DS to give other children "space" because of the "nasty Covid bug" which jumps from person to person, but obviously I don't want him to end up getting negative ideas about other children or being frightened about interacting with them. I also don't want to treat other small children as lepers.

I feel so sorry for children who have no opportunity to interact with other children, especially the older ones. Children need the chance to laugh and be silly and chase each other round. This is why schools have break time, right? Instead, we're heaping the pressures of homeschooling on them while simultaneously taking away from them their opportunities to de-stress and be children.

MessAllOver · 23/01/2021 22:28

Sorry, first line should read days a week. Scrambled brain tonight Blush.

laidbacklife · 23/01/2021 22:29

Yes we have a friendship bubble. It’d be cruel not to. Young children are very low risk. There is more evidence emerging that even if they do catch Covid (rare in itself) they have v low viral loads. My main concern is my child’s well-being so I absolutely make sure there is still playtime with friends.

GalesThisMorning · 23/01/2021 22:31

Oh my goodness this is such a sad thread. I'm going to resolve to speak to more people when out and about with DS in the hope that someone would take the opportunity to strike up a friendship if they needed to, even if it's just while walking in the same direction with another child for a few minutes.

Hang in there everyone. Its such shit. It won't go on forever and our kids will have long rich lives ahead of them and this pandemic will just be a footnote 🙏

Ledkr · 23/01/2021 22:33

My dd is the same. Not an only but next one up is 19 so not the same
She seems happy with being at home and speaking to her friends on the net but i so worry a lot especially as she is a bit of a loner anyway.
She could go to school as we are both front line but the school is so full i didn't want her to.

Shmithecat2 · 23/01/2021 22:35

We moved (country) during lockdown one. Ds started reception in September. Then with the Tiers (we were 3, then 4), apart from Xmas day with my friend and her children, he's played with no one. Not really had the chance to make any friends. I feel so bad for him, I'm not really a 'playing' kind of mum. The iPad gets a lot of use Blush

RuleWithAWoodenFoot · 23/01/2021 22:36

We've taken her to the park a lot, we've taken her friend for walks with us. She sees a kid every day apart from Wed and Thurs.

RuleWithAWoodenFoot · 23/01/2021 22:38

@GalesThisMorning

It won't go on forever and our kids will have long rich lives ahead of them and this pandemic will just be a footnote

Yep, a good way to look at it.

needadvice54321 · 23/01/2021 22:43

@Ledkr

My dd is the same. Not an only but next one up is 19 so not the same She seems happy with being at home and speaking to her friends on the net but i so worry a lot especially as she is a bit of a loner anyway. She could go to school as we are both front line but the school is so full i didn't want her to.
Exactly the same as our situation, not an only but sibling is pretty much an adult at almost 18, so really he lives with 3 parents. He's a bit of a loner too, likes his own company. He has a small group of friends and they're all at school as key worker children. We're key workers too, but DH is at home so we're trying to avoid sending DS in if we can. If he's not doing his school work, he's sat on his bed Sad
ktp100 · 23/01/2021 22:45

No, and he won't be. It's not worth the risk to us as we are helping elderly relatives.

Mine is fine with lockdown though so I might feel differently if he was struggling.

Can you schedule in regular Whatsapp/Zoom/Teams opportunities to catch up with his friends?

MessAllOver · 23/01/2021 22:47

What I would say is that being a "physical" parent seems to be much more important for children atm. So lots of cuddles, tickling, wrestling and generally horsing about for younger kids. For older kids, cuddles and maybe hair braiding and nail painting if they like that sort of thing. When my DS's bubble shut last year, we had lots of long warm baths together with lots of bubbles and fun toys and that seemed to have a calming effect.

Daffy2020 · 23/01/2021 22:53

I allow my 8yo DD to play in the back garden (safely) a few times a week with her friend who’s family are also sensible about social distancing. I’m not prepared to sacrifice my daughters mental health when to me this seems quite acceptable solution

Chimeraforce · 23/01/2021 22:56

My only is 14 and has met her friend once at the local playground and once I've driven her to bigger park and friends parents drove her mate there in their own car.
They shout at each other online most days, I can hear DD cackling away 🤣🤣🤣
It's not ideal but DD isn't a social butterfly anyhow.
If this happened in primary it would've been awful. She was so sociable then. I feel for the younger onlies x x x

boogiebogie · 23/01/2021 22:58

We meet a friend outside for walks... It has been so lovely for my girl.

EnigmaticIcelandShopper · 23/01/2021 23:05

We're North Wales, only allowed to exercise from the front door and park would be a short drive, no friends locally. My only hasn't socialised since before breaking up for Christmas. He's really not in to gaming and struggles with zoom. Life for him at the moment is a little rubbish.

DianaT1969 · 23/01/2021 23:07

Why aren't these children meeting a friend outside?
As someone said, if they were going to school, they'd be mixing with 30 people inside.
Sort out a playdate outside people!

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