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Original poster

If you have an only child -

188 replies

Workyticket · 23/01/2021 17:47

have they played with anyone else since Christmas?

DS is 8. We play, chat, cook together etc and he chats with pals on the xbox but he's not played with another child since before Christmas and I'm struggling with the thought of him not having the opportunity for god knows how long

It's his birthday next week too which I think is making me feel more emotional about it.

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 23/01/2021 19:21

@Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear

I strongly believe that it is wrong that only children can be deprived of the company of other children for months on end

I totally agree, it’s utter shit and would do the same as you.

But; I don’t think my 2 year old is much company for my 4 year old... intact they argue over toys the WHOLE TIME!!!!

lockdownbreakdown · 23/01/2021 19:26

Of course he has played with other children! We go to the playground every day and there are plenty of other children to run around with. I'm certainly not compromising my childs mental health by preventing him from going to parks when they are open! That would be cruel given how hard it is to catch outside. We do have very low cases here though compared to the rest of the country.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 23/01/2021 19:26

Definitely sympathise with that Rainbow! It is hard on so many children at the moment.

InglouriousBasterd · 23/01/2021 19:27

Yes, single parent so bubbled with her best friend’s family! It’s been a lifesaver tbh

EatingAllTheCookies · 23/01/2021 19:35

If I had an only child. Without a doubt I'd let them meet in a park. Or scooter ride etc.

TheOtherMaryBerry · 23/01/2021 19:40

Of course he has played with other children! We go to the playground every day and there are plenty of other children to run around with. I'm certainly not compromising my childs mental health by preventing him from going to parks when they are open!

No, I agree. It's all so different up and down the country though. We live opposite a small park with a playground and have a slightly larger playground down the road. I take DS every single day but we barely encounter anyone. It's quite a small quiet area and I think a lot of children are still at school here. There were a couple of babies there one day last week but that's no help. I don't drive so struggle to get to anywhere busier but we manage maybe once a week or so but even then it's difficult as it's still not that busy and there isn't always someone even a vaguely similar age to DS.

SquishySquirmy · 23/01/2021 19:53

My only dc is 7, and she has played with other children since Christmas.

Always outside, and while sledging/walking/playing in a playground. We don't let them sit on each others laps on the zip wire etc, but don't enforce a 2m distance. So not 0 risk, but safer than playing indoors.

I'm in Scotland and kids don't have to socially distance outside.

Each time it has been children we already know who live locally to us. We don't arrange to meet, but if we bump into friends on a walk or in the playground we let the kids play.
If another family subsequently comes down with symptoms, we trust that the parents would let us know (we have each other's contact details) and we would of course isolate as appropriate. So this, to me, is safer than mixing with strangers (in that at least we have less chance of passing it on whilst asymptomatic).

It's not every day and I'm trying to mitigate risk, but I am not eliminating it completely- my dc lights up when she plays with other kids and she really needs the social interaction. I'm trying to balance the risks and benefits as best I can.

GrolliffetheDragon · 23/01/2021 19:59

No, DS hasn't. I don't think any of his friends are on Zoom and he's not allowed to play online games. If he had friends that were we might have relaxed that, but I don't know of any who are and only know one mum really (I didn't do drop offs and pick ups).

Wherediditgo · 23/01/2021 20:01

Luckily, our only is 3 and is in nursery so he is socialising.
I would do as others have suggested and let them play outside with other kids if nobody in your household is CEV or you don’t come in to contact with loads of other people.
If you’re WFH and not going out otherwise then I don’t see the issue?

trumpisaflump · 23/01/2021 20:04

We're in Scotland and children under 11 don't have to socially distance and no rules on meeting up with other children thank goodness. My 10 year old DS goes out to play almost every day with local friends. Thank goodness he doesn't feel the cold!
It's a real shame this isn't the case for other children in the UK. I'm no fan of the SNP but this is one policy I'm happy about.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 23/01/2021 20:05

That was my thinking where. DH what, I don't work and DS is being homeschooled. We have a weekly delivery slot so no supermarkets. The only inside place we go is our own home. The risk of meeting one small family (the same family everytime) outside once a week must be tiny.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 23/01/2021 20:06

DH wfh!

Xerochrysum · 23/01/2021 20:06

My 12 yrs old is an only child. He seems fine, have interaction with friends via phone and online, working on some online project together.

Wherediditgo · 23/01/2021 20:08

@Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear

That was my thinking where. DH what, I don't work and DS is being homeschooled. We have a weekly delivery slot so no supermarkets. The only inside place we go is our own home. The risk of meeting one small family (the same family everytime) outside once a week must be tiny.
I agree - it would of course be entirely different if you worked in a care home or were a front line worker in any way. But if you’re literally not mixing elsewhere then I don’t see the issue.
Glenthebattleostrich · 23/01/2021 20:10

my childminding assistant has a daughter 1 year younger than DD who comes with her on the day she works. It has saved DD from slipping into a deeper depression than shes already in because of lockdown.

Glitterblue · 23/01/2021 20:10

Mine hasn't seen another child since they broke up for Christmas but she does video call her friends regularly.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 23/01/2021 20:11

I think the age might have an impact xero, DS is only 4 so no online interaction with friends. When we have arranged zoom calls they last about 5 mins before interest is lost whereas in person they will happily play for hours.

firstimemamma · 23/01/2021 20:11

My child is 2 and plays with a little friend of his about once a week. I find it bonkers how that's not 'allowed' yet if we had £50 a day to spare we could just drop him off at a nursery full of children and that would be 'allowed'. Makes no sense so we are doing our own thing and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

LittleRa · 23/01/2021 20:12

My DD is an only child at my house but at her Dad’s house, his partner has two daughters around a similar age and I’ve been so grateful during the lockdowns that she has had those two girls to play with. I think she would’ve really struggled without that interaction.
I am actually 33 weeks pregnant (my DP’s first baby) so she won’t be an only child here for much longer, and is very excited about being a big sister, although obviously the baby won’t be very interactive to begin with!

Frozenintime · 23/01/2021 20:13

14 year old. Only saw a friend a few times in summer. That's it, since March 2020

LittleRa · 23/01/2021 20:13

@LittleRa

My DD is an only child at my house but at her Dad’s house, his partner has two daughters around a similar age and I’ve been so grateful during the lockdowns that she has had those two girls to play with. I think she would’ve really struggled without that interaction. I am actually 33 weeks pregnant (my DP’s first baby) so she won’t be an only child here for much longer, and is very excited about being a big sister, although obviously the baby won’t be very interactive to begin with!
Just to add- she’s 6yo
PaperMonster · 23/01/2021 20:13

Yes. Been for a walk with friends and sledged with a classmate.

CaraDuneRedux · 23/01/2021 20:14

True for my 13 yo too Sad

We were chatting about it today as we walked the dog - he is bored to tears, missing his friends, worried sick that his education is being irreparably screwed up (he has dyslexia so has always known he has to work twice as hard as his friends just to keep his head above water, but now with home schooling feels like he's just slipping inexorably behind) and feels like he has nothing to look forward to.

It's horrible to have to watch and know I can do nothing about it.

LittleRa · 23/01/2021 20:15

@Frozenintime

14 year old. Only saw a friend a few times in summer. That's it, since March 2020
Was he/she back at school in Sept til Christmas?
SquishySquirmy · 23/01/2021 20:16

Has anyone else noticed a stronger attachment to cuddly toys? DS has always loved his lion but now he literally will not put him down, won't even leave the house without him without a fuss! He's six.

Yes!
In the first lockdown when dd was 6, she didn't meet up with any children at all and we noticed a renewed interest in her cuddly toys! Mainly playing schools etc with them, or lining them all up for ballet lessons, or they were having arguments with each other and making friends again... basically recreating all the social interactions she was missing! It was so funny (and slightly bittersweet) hearing the conversations the toys had when dd was making them talk to each other.
She was much clingier with her favourite toy as well.

This time round she has been seeing friends outside so she's not doing it as much.