My 5 year olds future

[JuneMoonstone]

I'm really worried about what the future might be for my 5 Yr old daughter due to coronavirus. Is she ever going to be able to go to dance classes with more than 6 pupils allowed per class, each standing on a circle that they can't move from? Will she ever be able to go swimming without me having to book weeks on advance and without strict, complex rules? Will she be able to complete a whole year of school without school closures? Will she ever be able to go on a school trip? Will she ever be able to go to the theatre or to see a pantomime at Christmas? I'm seriously worried about what her future will be like. Life has changed beyond recognition. Is life going to be this shit from now on, or maybe not this bad but nowhere near like it was pre covid?

@TheKeatingFive

I totally agree.

However, I think there is a limit to how much people will put up with these restrictions and we’re fast approaching it, whether the vaccine alleviate things or not.

I’m already there. My child is playing with his friend down the road. As soon as the grandparents are vaccinated, they will see them as normal.

The other stuff will return in time. Not much use to the 5 year olds I know, but I’m in ROI and shebeen culture is re-emerging with a vengeance. People are taking matters into their own hands.

Is that hitting people with a truncheon 😂

What Shebeen?

No it’s an unlicensed pub.

Well what do they say. We are all in the same storm. We just have different boats.
This pandemic has affected everyone in different ways.
My ECV dh has barely left the house. But he is lucky to be able to WFH although his salary has dropped a little.
Dd1 had her exams cancelled and is now facing disruption to her year 12 courses and has of course missed out on her hobbies. But can see bigger picture and is making best of it.
Dd2 doesn’t give a toss about school and hobbies but has missed out on therapy for ASD.
Dd3 is totally fine.
I meanwhile am drowning trying to keep younger 2 going with homeschooling etc etc. Sleeping on sofa to protect dh as I WOH.
However I really feel the end is in sight and we just need to hang in there.
There may still be some restrictions until cases / admissions and case severity drop sufficiently but of course it will take years for the NHS to catch up on cancelled clinics and procedures.

@TheKeatingFive

What Shebeen?

No it’s an unlicensed pub.

Oh shit sorry 😂😂😂

Yes of course she's going to be able to do all these things. She's 5 and this won't go on for years!

And fwiw I barely remember a thing about being 5, just the odd snippet. My 7 and 10 year old don't even remember it all. In a couple of years rime at 7 your dc will be doing all the things you listed and being at home or doing different activities will just be a distant memory. For now my girls are learning to ride.

@midnightstar66

Yes of course she's going to be able to do all these things. She's 5 and this won't go on for years!

I agree with your sentiment but it’s not like this is an unfounded worry, we’ve had a year of pandemic restrictions where a lot of things haven’t been available for most of the time.

I absolutely believe things will improve but I also completely understand that this is based on nothing more than a confident belief because at the moment the evidence in front of my eyes is bleak.

It's been nearly a year since the start but the restrictions haven't been this tight all along, it's like this currently because it's winter. As with last year things will start to relax as flu season comes to an end, my DD's had a term or more of brownies and guides face to face, they've had swimming lessons in the autumn term (neither run over the summer anyway or would been more I'm sure). They now have the covid safe risk assessments and practices in place so much easier to re open this time round once infection rates are down. Outdoor activities are more common and much more appealing during better weather and lighter days anyway. It's common to feel desolate in late January even in non pandemic times. It's unlike many primary aged dc will grow up with this being more than a vague memory, especially at 5. I do have concerns on the schooling side for dd in her last year of primary but not for my 7 yo.

No, I concede that the summer was much better and there was a lot we could do, I’m hoping for much the same this year even if we bodge aspects of some of the plans to get out of lockdown. I really think that seasonality is a big part of covid’s virility; if nothing else it’s much easier to do things outside when the weather picks up.

I’ve tried to be realistically positive throughout this but must admit that it’s much harder to rationalise during the winter after a year that’s already drained reserves.

EarringsandLipstick

CountessFrog
I regret having had my children now.

Oh for goodness sake!

Yes, it's crap for everyone at the moment. Small kids, slightly older ones, teens & young adults. And ourselves!

Mine were in miserable form today.

But - we have no choice at present, it will pass & life will resume, to a greater extent, normally.

This kind of thinking is nuts, really it is.

Op, YANBU for how you feel but you do need to be rational about it too”

Agree. With this mindset, you’re making the whole thing much worse for your children too. They’ll pick up on it, however well you think you may be hiding it (which I really hope you’re trying to do).

In a year or two, they’ll have forgotten all of this.

The pandemic will end but the economy is doomed.

And fwiw I barely remember a thing about being 5, just the odd snippet.

Why does this matter?

By this sentiment we should never bother doing anything with or for our children until they are older, because they won't remember it

Doing is the important factor, not remembering

I’m more worried about the lack of employment opportunities as jobs get outsourced abroad or automated.

Op ignore all the people downplaying your feelings and calling you selfish.

I feel worried and pissed off about my children's lives and future too.

I don't believe for one second that this pandemic will go in forever, but I do worry that it will go on so long that they will miss out on a huge chunk of their childhood being able to behave normally and that it will mess up their education as we know it.

I'm not selfish, of course my priority is going to be my children's welfare and happiness. I'd be fucking abnormal not be be worried about my children in all of this.

Childhood is short but what you experience has a lasting impact on the future.

By this sentiment we should never bother doing anything with or for our children until they are older, because they won't remember it*

Yes this.

Babies don't remember, but we still know that what we do with babies and toddlers is important.

By this sentiment we should never bother doing anything with or for our children until they are older, because they won't remember it*

Don't be silly, no one is suggesting that. Of course it's detrimental to sit a child in a room and never do anything, but that's not what is happening. They are just doing different things for a period of time til their normal things can and will resume.

Excessive screen time is a poor substitute for face-to-face real-life interactions for children. Hopefully hard lockdown will be over by Easter and we can go back to a normal way of life (with some restrictions) allowing young people to see each other.

YANBU to worry about your child's longer term future (education, employment etc) However I doubt a 5 year old will remember these events a couple of years from now. I am puzzled by the people on MN who are weeping because their 4 year old has missed out on playing with their friends or because their first year of schooling has been disrupted. They really won't be scarred for life by missing a few months of Reception. Most children outside of the U.K. don't even start school until they are 6. Millions of kids grow up in places where they don't have a lot of other children to play with. My neighbour grew up on an Island near Scotland with 2 other kids. He is fine. There is a lot of melodrama on MN.

And fwiw I barely remember a thing about being 5, just the odd snippet

I hate the minimising of lockdown’s impact on young children too. Pps are technically correct to assert it’s unlikely under 5s will remember much about this time, but developmentally the early years are crucial and the lack of socialisation, communication and life experience that accompanies lockdown will be having a significant effect on this cohort. In many cases it will mean they are less school-ready at 5, and may struggle to access the Early Years curriculum unless it’s adapted for them.

I strongly suspect in a couple of years’ time Early Years teachers will be flagging up a variety of issues. Schools and government will need to plan ahead (hollow laugh there in the government’s case), provide support and make changes where necessary.

Most children outside of the U.K. don't even start school until they are 6

But they’re not sitting at home with stressed out parents and no facilities for them open either, are they?

In many of these countries where formal school entry is later, eg Scandinavia, there is much more consistent and longer term attendance at Early Years settings - kindergartens and forest schools - where a lot of early education takes place. In many cases it’s almost the equivalent of our Reception year (mainly free-flow play with a bit of basic number work/phonics etc). They’re certainly not all cooped up indoors with Mum.

@TempsPerdu

And fwiw I barely remember a thing about being 5, just the odd snippet

I hate the minimising of lockdown’s impact on young children too. Pps are technically correct to assert it’s unlikely under 5s will remember much about this time, but developmentally the early years are crucial and the lack of socialisation, communication and life experience that accompanies lockdown will be having a significant effect on this cohort. In many cases it will mean they are less school-ready at 5, and may struggle to access the Early Years curriculum unless it’s adapted for them.

I strongly suspect in a couple of years’ time Early Years teachers will be flagging up a variety of issues. Schools and government will need to plan ahead (hollow laugh there in the government’s case), provide support and make changes where necessary.

Agree with this. I grew up in a small place with few children my age, but I spent my childhood seeing my parents have friends and family over and visiting them, hanging out doing not much with other kids of all ages... In contrast, my toddler now backs off whenever people come too near, and he wants to learn about relationships (like whose mummy I am etc) but it's hard, because my family and my exes family live overseas, he sees very little of his dad, and he had to stop nursery when I lost my job due to covid, so he has no meaningful face to face relationship with other adults, nor sees role modelling.

I'm.sure he'll pick up.a lot.later, but this experience will have to come with some.scars.

@TempsPerdu

Most children outside of the U.K. don't even start school until they are 6

But they’re not sitting at home with stressed out parents and no facilities for them open either, are they?

In many of these countries where formal school entry is later, eg Scandinavia, there is much more consistent and longer term attendance at Early Years settings - kindergartens and forest schools - where a lot of early education takes place. In many cases it’s almost the equivalent of our Reception year (mainly free-flow play with a bit of basic number work/phonics etc). They’re certainly not all cooped up indoors with Mum.

Also agree with this. I'm tired of hearing about the schooling thing, I have family in one of the Scandinavian countries always mentioned, and their kids were in full time, highly subsidised state nursery from the age of 1, and could read and write before they started school. I do.wish that UK nurseries and schools were as good at encouraging outdoor time and spend less time on grammar, but other than that the difference is not.as huge as people think.

Climate change should be your biggest worry really. Unless we do something about it, there will be more pandemics to come

I think the biggest risk for children right now is probably parents who are catastrophising and who lack proper coping strategies. The current situation is difficult, yes, but if you choose to highlight the negatives, your kids will suffer much more than they otherwise would. If, on the other hand, you choose to see the current situation as an opportunity to teach good coping strategies and develop their resilience, they are much more likely to get through it without lasting damage.

Life is full of shit that we can't control. I'm trying to teach my dd ways in which she can actively manage her stress levels, look after her own wellbeing and process her disappointments. My own mental health isn't great, I miss my family and my friends, and I'm really worried about the fact that I've lost my job,but I'm determined not to pass on my issues to dd, and I'm trying to respond to the changing situation in the most positive way that I can. Focusing on the things that I can control, rather than wringing my hands about the stuff that I can't. Ultimately, I think our kids' experience of this period will be very much what we make it.

I can understand how you feel but i think ways to spin this into a positive.

Your kids will have the luxury of time to catch up academically after this

It will be over when your child is sitting important exams

It will be over when they are going off for their first year in uni

It will be over when they are looking at finding their first job and most companies are laying off rather thsn taking on

It will be over when they have their own house and kids to support and are being left jobless

It is tough for them loosing that routine and the fun things they do, but its our job where we can to just try and keep them as happy as possible. Im so glad our DS is not in exam years or a high school really.