My 5 year olds future

[JuneMoonstone]

I'm really worried about what the future might be for my 5 Yr old daughter due to coronavirus. Is she ever going to be able to go to dance classes with more than 6 pupils allowed per class, each standing on a circle that they can't move from? Will she ever be able to go swimming without me having to book weeks on advance and without strict, complex rules? Will she be able to complete a whole year of school without school closures? Will she ever be able to go on a school trip? Will she ever be able to go to the theatre or to see a pantomime at Christmas? I'm seriously worried about what her future will be like. Life has changed beyond recognition. Is life going to be this shit from now on, or maybe not this bad but nowhere near like it was pre covid?

Children under school age generally only had friends if their parents friends had children the same age. Otherwise they made do with siblings.

How does my only child make do with siblings?

@imwingingit123 Completely agree with you.

@EarringsandLipstick

Why are people so nasty on threads like this!

It's not really nasty to point out that this will end & normal life will resume though? If anything, it's surely reassuring. Op & other posters are worried about long-term effects on their children.

That's an understandable fear, but it will end, life will resume again. Kids will be fine.

No what's nasty is people calling the OP selfish for worrying about her kids!!

Yeah it will end, that doesn't mean it isn't having a very real impact now

It won’t be like this for much longer. And it’s not selfish to think about your own family and your child’s future. We have to get over this sense of responsibility for every other person it has never been like this before. It’s not selfish to put your own families needs first after a year of this!

Op, YANBU for how you feel but you do need to be rational about it too.

This sums it up perfectly!

You can feel sad/disappointed like we all do but you have to make the best of any situation as like could be a lot worse.

@TempsPerdu Only children might be lucky and have another child nearby, but unless they were close in age, they still wouldn’t be in the same class.
Otherwise, they were expected to be a bit shyer, and allowances were made.
We made friends at school, not before school.

I’m just trying to say, your children won’t be permanently scarred.

I understand feeling a bit sad that things are so weird but a 5 year old really is not one of the people who has suffered most from this. I think a lot of people are being quite over the top here. Most of what is being discussed are huge privileges anyway that plenty of kids miss out on even in this country let alone other countries due to circumstances or lack of money. Dance classes are nice and fun but it’s really not going to scar your child for life if she can’t do them for a year or two. A lot of stuff that kids normally do now are very recent editions to children’s lives eg big birthday parties, soft play, cinema trips. At the risk of sounding old, when I was a kid a lot of kids activities like this either didn’t exist or were too expensive for most people. Weekends were spent going to the shops with mum, helping dad in the garden, playing with siblings, watching tv. All quite dull and normal. A lot of that stuff can still happen, yes I agree it sucks not seeing extended family but at least most people now have the technology to be able to FaceTime etc.

Oh and don’t worry about their education, they will most probably be absolutely fine. Especially if you have the money and resources to usually send them to extra curricular stuff and you buy them books and games and paints etc.

The kids will be fine. They will get it as children and never get properly sick from it as adults because they will have residual antibodies / t cell recognition, rather like chickenpox.

It will become a seasonal thing. Winter will be cold, flu and covid season. Us oldies will be vaccinated.

It will all be fine.

Clutch your pearls for the teens

Some friends in New Zealand posted photos on social media this morning and I was so insanely jealous. They emigrated a couple of years ago and in the pictures their children are laughing, playing with friends and look so carefree - not a mask or any social distancing in sight.

If countries like New Zealand and Australia can manage the virus in ways that mean people can live normally then we ought to be able to do similar. I get that we are much more connected and more densely populated but personally, I'd rather never have another foreign holiday and be able to take the kids to school and soft play than carry on like this. I'm sure there must be other reasons it's not possible but right now I think total elimination looks like the only sensible route forwards.

Yes I guess we are incredibly densely populated... The price to pay

I wouldn't be too worried about a 5 year old. They have plenty of time to catch up on education and experiences. They will be adaptable and they won't know any different.
I am more worried about my 15 year olds (Ye 10) whose GCSE results will be damaged and they cannot catch that up as it's too close to the end of their education.

This too shall pass.

Our country has experienced the most wicked, heartwrenching wars. Wars during which children were born. Wars through which children lived. This land has experienced pandemic before. Our great grandparents saw pain and suffering and strove to protect the children from it. Despite all hardship those children were more resilient than we give them credit for.

Those dreadful situations are in the past. They ended. Never let go of that fact.

Families saw loss, pain, devastation, but they moved on to become the remarkable, wise, strong relatives and ancestors we have come to love. In turn, we shall be the wise, strong matriarchs raising and supporting our surprisingly resilient children and grandchildren.

This too shall pass.

Hang on to that fact.

@MoiJeJous

This week alone, I know of 5 people who have died. Thank your lucky stars that the biggest worry about all of this is being able to go to the pantomime.

Oh give it a rest.

I want to say this in the gentlest way and completely non judging way possible. But I have noticed that the parents who worry about this have kids who worry about this.

Of course it’s natural for us to worry though so it is hard.

All we can do is try to let them grow up as happily as possible under the circumstances.

I think your concerns are justified and I understand... I’m just trying to offer an alternative view of coping.

It is absolutely pants right now but even a few decades ago young children didn’t have the things we worry ours are missing.

It sounds like you have one child so I realise it must be harder than having two or more of a similar age right now.

I don’t know what the answer is at all but I would try to get outdoors as much as possible whatever the weather and just be silly whenever you can. Art and music work wonders for children as well. Can you join any online dance or creative workshops for now?

This will pass. I missed almost avyear of school through illness at five and barely remember it. They’re stronger than we think.

It’s hard for all of us and worry is relative so if you’re worrying your concern is genuine for you. It’s ok that you have your concern. Just maybe try thinking about what she can do now rather than can’t and hope she follows your example. I mean this kindly and I know it’s not easy.

Uni students are a real worry for me. Investing £60,000 for sub-standard teaching... no live lectures for a year, no practical work, no networks or work placements. Yet every uni is still claiming full fees. This is their time, they won't get it back, they're not allowed to pull out or defer. They're not getting the education they signed up for and their career and income could be affected forever. Such a stressful situation and real impact on their health and well-being.

I understand the worried in relation to younger children, but they will make up for lost time quickly once they get back to school/social life . The stakes are a lot higher for older teens/ young adults.

@OwlWearingGlasses

I wouldn't be too worried about a 5 year old. They have plenty of time to catch up on education and experiences. They will be adaptable and they won't know any different. I am more worried about my 15 year olds (Ye 10) whose GCSE results will be damaged and they cannot catch that up as it's too close to the end of their education.

You don't need to be dismissive of OP because her child is at a different stage to yours. All children are affected.

@RosesforMama

The kids will be fine. They will get it as children and never get properly sick from it as adults because they will have residual antibodies / t cell recognition, rather like chickenpox.

It will become a seasonal thing. Winter will be cold, flu and covid season. Us oldies will be vaccinated.

It will all be fine.

Except for the 13% of children who get long Covid. Latest ons figures. Not accounting for new variant.

I don't read Owl as being dismissive. More reassuring....especially if she has an older teen....looking back you can see how there is time for a five year old to catch up.....the primary years last a long time and are quite flexible.

I feel the same and o don't know what's worse. The 5 yo who at least remembers stiff a and wil have photos of when he got to live a free live, or my twins who have never known it, born Dec 19. Oh I have a photo of me in a mask at a small soft play place when things eased. Wow.

O know people say it can't last forever but 18 months ago they'd have said they can't stop the world for a year, pay millions not to work, close down all the schools etc so that doesn't really reassure me. Because even of this strain is contained, it'll just keep happening won't it. And when things do open up, because it'll be restricted numbers the prices will sky rocket so it'll go back to the rich having access to everything and the working class not being able to

I agree about the uni students. They’ve been robbed.

I hear you! My eldest 8 was upset yesterday about maybe having two lockdown birthdays 😢 trivial but not for him and I think we are all aloud to feel sad about things. Knowing people are worse off just makes it worse, it doesn’t take those feelings alway.

It will get better though. We try and talk about what we’ve had that we wouldn’t have had without covid (a little pool table in the lounge for starters!) and what we will have afterwards because of covid - BIG BIRTHDAY PARTIES!

We do talk about how lucky we are and touch wood and cross fingers this continues, but it’s okay to feel sad and worried for the future. I do but like the PPs believe things will keep improving from Spring onwards.

Allowed!

@Sendingasurprise

I don't read Owl as being dismissive. More reassuring....especially if she has an older teen....looking back you can see how there is time for a five year old to catch up.....the primary years last a long time and are quite flexible.

Of course it's dismissive to pop along to a thread where someone is worried about their 5 year old just tell them your teens are suffering more

What do you remember of being 5?

Dance classes
Going to the ballet
Birthday parties (mine and my friends)
Learning to ride a bike in my best friends garden
Going to stay with my gran
Playing out on the street with friends
A trip to London zoo
Being a bridesmaid at my Aunty’s wedding
Getting my first Walkman for Christmas. It was a big family Christmas at my gran’s house.
Going to a pantomime in the local city
Swimming lessons (mainly the crisps out the vending machine)

I don’t really remember playing at home with just my brother, which is pretty much all kids can do now.

I don’t worry about DC2 who is 1, but I do worry about DC1 who is in reception. It breaks my heart when they ask me how long the virus will be around for and whether they can see their grandparents soon. As a parent all you want is a good life for your kids. That doesn’t mean you want other people to die. I would think it pretty weird of any parent that was happy with the life their kids currently have.