Is anyone worried about their primary-age child?

[pistachionuts]

My son is 9 and seriously seems to be struggling mental health wise as the pandemic has dragged on, and seems to be getting worse :( he never had any problems before, was always a happy easy well-rounded child who has now transformed into an anxious boy who loses his temper quickly, cries easily and is always getting stressed and angry.
He hates homeschooling and it’s an absolute struggle trudging through all the work school sets whilst he rubs his eyes and fidgets and stares at the laptop, he always plods on and finishes it but has little motivation and no enjoyment.
I’m trying everything I can to try and make the time at home as nice as possible but there’s only so much I can do.
Is anyone else finding this with their children? He’s like a completely different person im so sad and worried :(

It’s a non story spun out for maximum effect

We still don’t know much more than not half term. Which is small surprise

Williamson does not give a date

It’s education leaders and NEU bloody union saying as late as May

Ah, I see...that's helpful of them!

There’s loads of other threads about risk in school/ opinions of closures etc etc. It was nice to have a conversation about the children without more of the same and without judgement

I agree really and don't really want to get bog down in another debate about whether schools should be open or not but I just find it incredibly infuriating that people say that there is no alternative and feel I must challenge it.

May?! Gosh, my children are stuffed then. The children in our school have small classes with their teacher and TA...my KS1 gets 20 minutes of me plus 7 hours Minecraft as I have to work my hours. My KS2 is alone in his room all day, trying his best. The inequality of this is astounding, my children (and many many more in the same boat) mean nothing to this Government. The gap academically and socially is going to be massive, once again. My mental health is on the floor today.

'Do they mean primaries earlier, or everyone part time? I'd certainly take a part time place over nothing.'

I agree. It would be something to help children along educationally and socially and would be a decent compromise.

Yes sorry I have re-read properly and you’re right it’s not Gavin Williamson saying that, he’s refusing to give a date. Sorry if I’ve upset anyone even more. It says they may not go back until after Easter holidays and that he is expected to prepare parents for many more months of home schooling. They quite a government spokesperson saying ‘we are in this for the long haul.’ And they are going to give parents more information so they can start ‘managing expectations’ then says they’ve not arrived at a date yet but it won’t be after Feb half-term.

@TheOtherMaryBerry

Williamson does not give a date

It’s education leaders and NEU bloody union saying as late as May

Ah, I see...that's helpful of them!

Yep just hanging around always ready to drive a knife early Sunday morning

Arses
I know they wish it to be so but how are they helping exactly

My 4 year old had a class zoom this week. He asked why some of his friends were allowed in school as he could see them. My honest answer (that I didn’t give) was - their parents chose different jobs to yours. Whilst we can manage some of the basic education (with grandparent help) I am so upset at the amount of socialisation he’s missing. I am going to make a real effort to meet up with another parent outside for him to play now. I’m not standing by and watching him not allowed to interact with another child of his age for months.

I just wanted to add that although it doesn't stop the worry I think everyone is really struggling this time.
My year 7 goes to school three days as me and Dh are keyworkers and she is still down in the dumps this time. Even the kids in school it's not 'normal' school and weird bubbles and routines . Also weekends are a bit relentless now trying to find something fun .
I Think all the reliance on screens probably doesn't help either - I'm sure if mine were reading and playing Lego , baking or whatever they'd be calmer

I am going to make a real effort to meet up with another parent outside for him to play now. I’m not standing by and watching him not allowed to interact with another child of his age for months.

This is exactly what DH and I have just said to each other. We're going to try to get at least two play dates a week with different children.

I think many more people will soon start to meet up outside with other children so that their children start to have social interaction again. Social interaction on a screen isn’t great for adults (zoom fatigue anyone?!) but it’s practically impossible for primary ages children, especially under 8s.

Ironically, my younger DD has been invited on several play dates recently - with children who have a place in school! I’ve said no, but if my children are still at home after half term, I may end up doing this. I suspect many others will too. Maybe lots are doing it already?

My 5 year old is doing ok this time, but I do remember the last lock down - his personality just became so flat and lifeless. At the start of this lockdown I decided we'd be doing infrequent 1:1 playground play dates with friends. I don't care what the law says I'm not going to keep him from seeing other children for 12 weeks again. It's crazy that he can go to the playground and play with random kids (which he does) but not actually arrange to see his friend which carries exactly the same risk but without the massive MH boost he gets.

Frankly if his peers' parents can interpret the rules in bad faith to get their kids a spot in school allowing them to carry on with their lives then we can spend a chilly 60 mins playing outside with friends.

I've found those fairing better have:

• Given children lots of time outside, even unsupervised in their own garden. Den building, brush and bucket, ball games, toys to support creative role play

• Free time to create with homemade play dough, or other messy play such as painting, model making ( even boxes) or drawing.
• Played board and card games - at home or arranged as a group of friends.
• Lego, duplo, knex type toys, but left out and developed over time so that the child continues the play. Even better to share this via zoom with another child.
• screen time with friends, but with a focus - joint watching of a tv programme whilst on screen, joint play, a 'shared' pizza, cake, tea, delivered/made at the same time. Gives children a link with each other.
• outdoor play at the local field or park, if other 'known' children 'happen' to be there, then so be it. Follow SD, take hand sanitiser, wipe down equipment. Absolutely no different (and actually safer) than being in a classroom with other pupils.

Frankly if his peers' parents can interpret the rules in bad faith to get their kids a spot in school allowing them to carry on with their lives then we can spend a chilly 60 mins playing outside with friends.

Yes, this. Other parents are bending the rules to get their kids into school, so I will do the same to allow my only child a limited amount of social interaction.

I'm struggling to understand why anyone expects them to be able to say when they will open?
Before Xmas it seemed quite clear that a good pre Xmas lock would mean that Xmas could go ahead... But Kent cases continued soar they realised with shock that a new worrying strain had mutated.

It's this new strain that seeded at record rates that's causing us these new problems.
We always knew winter would be tough because this virus adores cold weather but this new variant has knocked everything we had previously predicted way off kilter.

I'm feel relief we won't be forcing dc back.

@BraeburnPlace we are doing all those things. two children are coping , two are still really struggling. They are all great and important suggestions I agree, but I really don't think parenting is the key issue here and I am tired of posts implying it is. Their whole world has been tipped upside down, it's quite natural some children are going to find that incredibly hard no matter what resources and opportunities their parents create.

@ParadiseLaundry

The country is in the peak of the epidemic and there are no alternatives at the moment.

Do you really believe there are no alternatives to schools being shut? Do you really think sacrificing children's education and socialisation is worth the risk of them spreading the virus? Who are they spreading it to? Surely they shouldn't be in contact with their elderly relatives anyway (the largest group who require hospital treatment and at risk of death) and If it really were concern over infection rates then surely the key worker children of people who work in hospitals are of far higher risk to spreading CV than my son whose parents never really come into contact with another person.

100%

@KeyboardWorriers YY! Doing the most of that here, flogging myself to provide varied activities and nourishing food and time outside and social opportunities via zoom and also do my normal job and look after my other child and run the house (so that the healthy food and craft supplies can keep coming). It’s still not enough.

@bookworm14

Frankly if his peers' parents can interpret the rules in bad faith to get their kids a spot in school allowing them to carry on with their lives then we can spend a chilly 60 mins playing outside with friends.

Yes, this. Other parents are bending the rules to get their kids into school, so I will do the same to allow my only child a limited amount of social interaction.

Agreed. My daughter is only 1 of 4 students in her class not in school - the other 26 are allowed in under this rule bending. One of the mums works a Saturday shift in tesco, so counts as a keyworker even though her shift has no childcare implications, her daughter is still in school. (I'm not judging her at all, I think she's doing right by her daughter - I'm just bitter at the rules that are keeping my children out of school). Me and my Dh are now both looking for evening/weekend keyworker jobs that fit in around our actual jobs (not keyworker jobs but essential for us keeping a roof over our heads, with DH working crazy long hours and me juggling wfh with 3 dc and homeschooling) so we can get our kids into school.

tappitytaptap my 4 year old (reception child) has also asked, I said that some parents have jobs they can do from their houses on their computers, and some have jobs they have to go outside for like being a doctor or firefighter. He understood and accepted it.

DS1 is a bit sad occasionally, and has bored/naughty moments but overall he is coping fine. He has an 11m old brother that is just about old enough to play with, and my DM comes round every work day and spends the whole day building forts and playing role playing games in the living room. At the weekends he sometimes goes to my parents house for variety/to play in the garden.

He coped a lot worse in the first lockdown when he couldn't see my DM. He'd regularly cry and try to get out the front door (He was 3 then)...we lived with my parents for most of my pregnancy with DS2 as I had hyperemesis so he was used to DM as his primary carer as I pretty much spent 6 months in bed before having DS2 in Jan 2020.

(Gosh that was waffley and long, sorry )

I've not read this all - so apologies if this has been mentioned - on another thread someone had mentioned a report (they thought it may be Oxford study?) that 7 year olds were particularly vulnerable mental health wise.

I would certainly concur!

Under 12s in Scotland are allowed to get together outside and this time I'm finding that's making a huge difference and prioritizing this.

School couldn't give a shit last lockdown. We now have a daily teams call and a few set tasks so it's not overly onerous (though still hell to manage with working!) I think any more school work would push us all over the edge.

However given the horrendous situation we were in last time with our 7 year old I wold be breaking the rules to allow them to see their friends, obviously need the cooperation of other parents!

If we were in England my DC would have a school place, so it's swings and roundabouts. Nurseries are also closed here.

If schools don't open until May then we will definitely be planning some meet ups with other home schooled kids. I'm doing my best to help DS but I can only stretch myself so far aswell. Between home schooling, work, running a home and caring for younger children I'm completely drained and don't know how I can keep going on 😔

@Avaganda yes same here

Agreed. My daughter is only 1 of 4 students in her class not in school - the other 26 are allowed in