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Original poster

Is anyone worried about their primary-age child?

354 replies

pistachionuts · 22/01/2021 20:26

My son is 9 and seriously seems to be struggling mental health wise as the pandemic has dragged on, and seems to be getting worse :( he never had any problems before, was always a happy easy well-rounded child who has now transformed into an anxious boy who loses his temper quickly, cries easily and is always getting stressed and angry.
He hates homeschooling and it’s an absolute struggle trudging through all the work school sets whilst he rubs his eyes and fidgets and stares at the laptop, he always plods on and finishes it but has little motivation and no enjoyment.
I’m trying everything I can to try and make the time at home as nice as possible but there’s only so much I can do.
Is anyone else finding this with their children? He’s like a completely different person im so sad and worried :(

OP posts:
blue25 · 23/01/2021 16:57

Mine have been fine so far. They seem to enjoy home learning, but who knows if that will last. They do miss their friends though.

Hnowell · 23/01/2021 17:00

This reply has been deleted

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bookworm14 · 23/01/2021 17:05

Piss off, spammer.

Original poster
pistachionuts · 23/01/2021 17:10

Wow overwhelmed at the number of others going through the same thing. Heartbreaking to read but reassuring that we’re not the only ones (also happy that others have found reassurance from this thread)

So many good points made, I agree about the ‘two-tier’ system with schooling and hadn’t really thought of it that way. It really is so unfair to the kids missing out.

Somebody mentioned about the oak academy videos as well that resonated. My sons teacher was going on about how great they are for parents because you can leave them to it. DS sits and watches one but then has no clue how to do the worksheet afterwards so I end up having to sit and explain everything that was supposedly covered in the video 🙄 Most of the work is just so dull and soulless and seems to be stamping out any love of learning.

He saw a couple of our neighbours kids playing on the green infront of our house yesterday and I let him go and have a kick-about with a football with them for about an hour. It definitely seemed to lift his spirits and he was more cheerful for the rest of the afternoon. It gives me hope that he can return to his old self, one of my fears is that this is going to have a long-term impact on him mentally (And educationally) and that we will be picking up the pieces for years :(

OP posts:
DoWeDontWe1 · 23/01/2021 17:16

@TadlowDogIncident

Mine is really struggling- he's 10 and an only child. He hasn't seen another child, or anyone except me and DH, since December. At the present rate I"m not expecting him to till Easter at the earliest. I don't know what will be left of him by then. We can't form a childcare bubble as we don't know anyone who would be willing to. Our families are hundreds of miles away.

He is (or was) an extrovert, sociable child. He needs to see other people. He sings and plays an instrument, and it's so hard to stay motivated to do either when I can't truthfully promise him that he'll be able to be in a choir or an orchestra again this year. (I'm not convinced he'll ever sing treble in a choir again.) There is no way on earth I would have had a child if I could have known he was going to have basic necessities like education and seeing other children snatched away from him.

This made me cry. Also makes me feel even more mad with the lockdown lovers who seem to revel in the whole thing and simply dismiss all of us who are saying this is just terrible for most children.
MarshaBradyo · 23/01/2021 17:18

@TadlowDogIncident

Mine is really struggling- he's 10 and an only child. He hasn't seen another child, or anyone except me and DH, since December. At the present rate I"m not expecting him to till Easter at the earliest. I don't know what will be left of him by then. We can't form a childcare bubble as we don't know anyone who would be willing to. Our families are hundreds of miles away.

He is (or was) an extrovert, sociable child. He needs to see other people. He sings and plays an instrument, and it's so hard to stay motivated to do either when I can't truthfully promise him that he'll be able to be in a choir or an orchestra again this year. (I'm not convinced he'll ever sing treble in a choir again.) There is no way on earth I would have had a child if I could have known he was going to have basic necessities like education and seeing other children snatched away from him.

Sad
CodyBurns · 23/01/2021 17:34

He's struggled to sleep this time - probably because we are lacking in time outside between the weather, the schooling and having a job to do too!

Mine is struggling to fall asleep at bedtime too. It’s the lack of stimulation, mental and physical. There’s a reason they are knackered when they go back to school. Real learning, play and interaction with their peers properly tires them out. A walk and some worksheets just doesn’t cut the mustard.

Mine is usually fast asleep by 8pm after a regular school day. At the moment he’s just not tired until much later and by that point I’m knackered myself and desperate for a break/some space.

People say ‘get them out for a walk and run off their energy!’ I am a lone parent trying to homeschool and run a business at the same time. I don’t have time to go on a 5 mile hike in addition to everything else I’m trying to do, when I would normally be working and my child would normally be at school.

It’s damaging for children and it’s not sustainable for parents.

ParadiseLaundry · 23/01/2021 18:30

People say ‘get them out for a walk and run off their energy!’ I am a lone parent trying to homeschool and run a business at the same time. I don’t have time to go on a 5 mile hike in addition to everything else I’m trying to do, when I would normally be working and my child would normally be at school.

Exactly, and the kind of walk you can do with them doesn't stimulate them and tire them out in the same way that flinging themselves around and playing with other children at school does. Just 'Going for a walk' is not enough for a young child.

ParadiseLaundry · 23/01/2021 18:31

Sorry, not the kind of walk YOU can do with them, the kind of walk any of us can do, they need peer interaction.

bookworm14 · 23/01/2021 18:33

My five year old won’t just ‘go for a walk’. She requires an incentive, like a playground or ice cream. I assume a love of walking for its own sake comes later.

MarshaBradyo · 23/01/2021 18:37

A walk is ok. A playground is ok for my three year old.

But it’s play with others that she needs. It’s part of key development going by emails I get from nursery.

This play together, sharing, co operating etc would be part of school

formerbabe · 23/01/2021 18:43

Oh fgs, the sodding walks. We've been walking for a year now. It's freezing, it's boring...

Treaclepie19 · 23/01/2021 18:43

Yep my 5 year old is struggling. He's got a 4 month old sister to try and get used to as well. I feel for him.

Treaclepie19 · 23/01/2021 18:45

And despite my own fears I sent him back for that one day in January. I wish I hadn't because how cruel to snatch it right back away from him.

LickEmbysmiling · 23/01/2021 18:52

Marsha can she play with others in a play ground?
No exactly the same as nursery or toddler group but mine used to play with others in play ground.

I have to sit with mine during oak academy from the start and supervise the whole thing. I use use of tech, chatting to friends as leverage to get work done, she can do what she likes if work is complete. We only do the core subjects and reading.
Unfortunately I've not been good at getting them out much but that will ease soon.

Those with dc missing friends can they play on line with them.. Mine craft or do what's app voice calls?

I wish dd 2 was a reader because amazing time to flood those that are with tons of books!!

MarshaBradyo · 23/01/2021 18:55

Lick she’s ok as at nursery but I do really get those who have reception age and a bit older as they are missing this.

My 11 year old can chat with friends on school platform in a way that doesn’t help reception age. Although of course it’s still a screen based substitute

I really get why posters are concerned about their dc

Christmasfairy2020 · 23/01/2021 18:58

Go on amazon and buy lots of fidget toys

SilenceIsNoLongerSuspicious · 23/01/2021 19:06

@Christmasfairy2020

Go on amazon and buy lots of fidget toys
Yeah. Did that last April.
CoffeeWithCheese · 23/01/2021 19:39

@Christmasfairy2020

Go on amazon and buy lots of fidget toys
Wow helpful. Next you'll be telling us to buy arts and crafts materials.

We did all that back in March/April back in the initial lockdown. You can't PVA glue a broken spirit back together. (You can't glitter over a lack of empathy and shove a fidget spinner on the top of it either)

MarshaBradyo · 23/01/2021 19:41

@Christmasfairy2020

Go on amazon and buy lots of fidget toys
I don’t think plastic tat will cut it
sortmylifeoutplease · 23/01/2021 19:41

It's tough. I do think lockdown is right at the moment but I am scared for the impact on my kids. I think if action had been taken earlier or schools had had some sort of rota system in place, we wouldn't be facing such a long lockdown. They are happy at home, but two are v close in age, so have a friend in each other, but the homeschooling aspect is really stressful and making week days miserable, takes a lot of input, so I'm thinking of backing off and doing our own thing. As for the baby, it's rubbish as she has had no interaction outside our family really.

Wherediditgo · 23/01/2021 19:48

@stealthbanana

Honestly, I would not hesitate in your situations to break the rules. Bubble with a couple of other families and home school together, need at the park, whatever you need. An under 10 should not be bearing the brunt of this current situation.

I have a 2 and 4 year old and so far so good, but if the schools are shut when my 4 year goes into Reception in Sep there is not a chance in hell I’d be keeping him home /isolated from his peers 24/7

I agree with this.
LickEmbysmiling · 23/01/2021 19:49

Oh that's good marsha.

cansu · 23/01/2021 19:51

I think everyone recognises the impact on children but this isn't something people have chosen. The country is in the peak of the epidemic and there are no alternatives at the moment. I have a disabled ds whose mental health is very fragile, but it isn't anyone's fault that all his normal activities are not available. In many ways he is in a much worse situation as his disabilities mean he can't self soothe or zoom or anything at all really. I have a primary class. Out of 28, I usually have about ten children attend our daily meet session. Some parents have told me there kids don't want to get up early just to have the opportunity to speak to their teacher and see their classmates.

cansu · 23/01/2021 19:51

sp their
before the mumsnet hordes start to criticise my spelling!

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