Is anyone worried about their primary-age child?

[pistachionuts]

My son is 9 and seriously seems to be struggling mental health wise as the pandemic has dragged on, and seems to be getting worse :( he never had any problems before, was always a happy easy well-rounded child who has now transformed into an anxious boy who loses his temper quickly, cries easily and is always getting stressed and angry.
He hates homeschooling and it’s an absolute struggle trudging through all the work school sets whilst he rubs his eyes and fidgets and stares at the laptop, he always plods on and finishes it but has little motivation and no enjoyment.
I’m trying everything I can to try and make the time at home as nice as possible but there’s only so much I can do.
Is anyone else finding this with their children? He’s like a completely different person im so sad and worried :(

Yes, DS 7 is struggling this time. He was ok last year, but we could get him out of the house a lot, DH was furloughed so had loads of time and work day by the school was minimal.

This time DH and I are both WFH, there's a lot more schoolwork set and getting him out of the house is a struggle. He's also been in tears about missing his grandparents and his sleeping is awful.

I think for him, everything going back to reasonably normal - schools open, being able to see grandparents occasionally - then shutting down again has been too much.

This thread is so sad but it is a relief to see that so many others are having the same experience as us. My DD6 was largely ok last time but is really struggling now. She is usually such a happy child but has been stressed and quick to tears, it is heartbreaking to see the change in her.

We do the best we can with her while also juggling working from home but she needs to socialise with friends.

It is so hard knowing that over a third of her class are in school being taught by the usual teacher and TA while my DD just gets worksheets every day. In three weeks she has only had two half hour video calls with her class. Although they just highlight what a nice normal experience the kids in school are having so that is upsetting for her to see anyway.

I’ve not read the thread, so apologies if the discussion has moved on.
YES! I’m
So worried about our little boy. He’s 5 and become so easily upset & anxious. I’m actually a child therapist & it breaks my heart to see him going through this. I’m also heartbroken to see the number of kids being referred into the Camhs I work for similar issues. And the number of teens we have who are ending up in hospital is devastating.

It seems you can’t talk about the impact on the children without getting shot down as a teacher basher or covid denier on here. I don’t understand why that is. I don’t think worrying about covid and worrying about the impact of this on children can’t coexist.

Our nhs hasn’t had the capacity to deal with mental health problems in children & adults for years. But no one cares because it’s not going to impact their emergency or whatever care if they need it. The impact of isolating children and families like this will be catastrophic, yet no one will hear about it.

I don’t know what the answer is, but I’m not sure we have the right one at the moment.

My DS is 7 (y2) and has had difficulty sleeping and containing his emotions. He says he is sad all the time. I've been thinking it was normal 7 year old behaviour, but so many of these stories resonate with me. I'm going to bear this in mind from now on and give him more benefit of the doubt. And think of some strategies which might help him.

What's a real eye opener for me is that some schools are carrying on as normal for those in school and just giving worksheets to those at home! At ours, the teacher is at home and everyone logs on to the lesson. Key worker children in school also log on from school and are supervised by the TAs between lessons. It's appalling from the schools that some children at home are being left behind.

The country is in the peak of the epidemic and there are no alternatives at the moment.

Do you really believe there are no alternatives to schools being shut? Do you really think sacrificing children's education and socialisation is worth the risk of them spreading the virus? Who are they spreading it to? Surely they shouldn't be in contact with their elderly relatives anyway (the largest group who require hospital treatment and at risk of death) and If it really were concern over infection rates then surely the key worker children of people who work in hospitals are of far higher risk to spreading CV than my son whose parents never really come into contact with another person.

@ParadiseLaundry

The country is in the peak of the epidemic and there are no alternatives at the moment.

Do you really believe there are no alternatives to schools being shut? Do you really think sacrificing children's education and socialisation is worth the risk of them spreading the virus? Who are they spreading it to? Surely they shouldn't be in contact with their elderly relatives anyway (the largest group who require hospital treatment and at risk of death) and If it really were concern over infection rates then surely the key worker children of people who work in hospitals are of far higher risk to spreading CV than my son whose parents never really come into contact with another person.

Agreed

It's been a repeated endlessly how dc are vectors for the virus. Super spreaders!

I don't know which press conferences you watch... It's very clear from the ones I see that children and schools are massive mixing pots for the virus.

There’s loads of other threads about risk in school/ opinions of closures etc etc. It was nice to have a conversation about the children without more of the same and without judgement

I'm so sorry for all your children. It's such a travesty that so many countries are doing this to their youngest and most vulnerable. In my opinion closing schools shouldn't even be on the table, except very very short term. It's an absolutely essential part of society for all the reasons mentioned here. Schools should be as non-negotiable as hospitals, it just shouldn't be an option to take away children's right to an education and right to play with their peers. And I honestly don't believe these things are possible through a computer screen for the vast majority. This thread is heartbreaking to read.

Why can’t we do our own risk assessment? We don’t see grandparents. My children’s education is the most important thing. I’ll happily stay inside for a year to achieve this.

It’s a travesty what we are doing to our children.

Yep I’d put dc first too

teachers should be vaccinated and parents can make their own choice if they want their dc in school

Surely they shouldn't be in contact with their elderly relatives anyway (the largest group who require hospital treatment and at risk of death)

My DH is at the very least vulnerable (the advice on his condition has been contradictory and we've not been able to get in touch with his consultant), you don't have to be elderly to have an increased risk of serious illness or death.

Teachers and school staff - yes, I agree. I don't feel comfortable sending mine in if it will put their teachers at risk.

Yes both of mine are struggling - mostly because of not being able to do their after-school activities and see their friends. I think the home schooling part is old hat now, it’s what has to come with that which makes it difficult (more time inside, not seeing their grandparents who have helped bring them up etc etc)

@ParadiseLaundry

The country is in the peak of the epidemic and there are no alternatives at the moment.

Do you really believe there are no alternatives to schools being shut? Do you really think sacrificing children's education and socialisation is worth the risk of them spreading the virus? Who are they spreading it to? Surely they shouldn't be in contact with their elderly relatives anyway (the largest group who require hospital treatment and at risk of death) and If it really were concern over infection rates then surely the key worker children of people who work in hospitals are of far higher risk to spreading CV than my son whose parents never really come into contact with another person.

Yes I agree. Gov could have gone with Other options without excluding non keyworker/vulnerable kids, but they wouldn't because it would have involved spending money.

@GrolliffetheDragon

Surely they shouldn't be in contact with their elderly relatives anyway (the largest group who require hospital treatment and at risk of death)

My DH is at the very least vulnerable (the advice on his condition has been contradictory and we've not been able to get in touch with his consultant), you don't have to be elderly to have an increased risk of serious illness or death.

Yes families such as yours should be given the option of protecting yourself from school but the burden should not be carried by young children who deserve to be educated and sociali

My dd (7) has always been happy and confident albeit a little needy towards me at times, but since schools have been closed she's a whole new level of clingy. She follows me around the house all day, if I tell her to go and do something on her own for a little while she will reluctantly go but as I'm hoovering or doing the dishwasher I'll see her head keep popping around the door frame to check where I am. If I go upstairs to the toilet then I can hear her making excuses to my dh to explain why she desperately needs to come upstairs as well. She then sits outside the bathroom door waiting for me. If I go to the shops she gets upset and doesn't want me to leave. It's like she's reverted back to being a toddler. She cries over every little thing that happens and if I say anything even slightly critical she runs away howling and saying she hates me and I'm the worst mum in the world, then reappears a few minutes later saying how much she loves me and trying to get me to hold her like a baby. She will happily do her school work as she's gets my undivided attention during this time (3 hours a day) but once the work has finished she then tries to find ways to keep me close to her, demanding I play constant games with her for example, or talking non-stop to me and trying to show me YouTube videos, even though I also have another much younger child who also needs my attention. My poor youngest is being utterly neglected at the moment, and my poor dd is becoming more and more clingy by the day. I don't know how to deal with this change to her behaviour. She's just so erratic in her emotions 😞 And my youngest isn't getting the attention and quality time he needs with me either and as a result he's now overly emotional as well. I feel stuck, and I just want schools to open again so that I can have my happy children back.

My elder DC is fine, but the younger one is only 7 and struggling. Her teacher is delivering brilliant online lessons from the classroom, however about half of the children are also sitting in the classroom - including two of her best friends. During the lesson she can see these children working together and having fun and she is upset she can’t be with them. Little things matter - like when they were doing art and the children at school were using paints, but we didn’t have any at home so my DD had to use colouring pencils. Such a minor thing, but it affected her. This wasn’t an issue last Spring as the teacher and whole class were all at home so everyone was in the same boat. I can see the difference this time around - she’s desperate to be back in the classroom with her friends.

Can we have a thread or use this one for any ideas that have helped? I’ve woken up to news in The Times that Gavin Williamson is saying probably schools won’t fully reopen to all until May. I need some hope and some ways I can list to help my DC because I’m feeling really overwhelmed and exhausted right now.

Can virtual support groups be set up for example? Are there trained therapists out there who could do this maybe? Supported by parents. The government won’t help us or our DC, is there any way we can ourselves/each other?

I can’t find The Times article not sure why but have googled

May is... no words

It says at least after the Easter holidays (which is awful but probably what most people expected) but could be as late as May. I mean, it's just horrible.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/children-face-months-at-home-as-schools-stay-shut-until-easter-wp5ltpm82

• It's been a repeated endlessly how dc are vectors for the virus. Super spreaders!

I don't know which press conferences you watch... It's very clear from the ones I see that children and schools are massive mixing pots for the virus.*

Children have never been referred to as super spreader in the Downing Street press conferences but have by some scientists - and even then there are just as many who say they aren't.

ONS figures do show an increasing rate in schools but in most the levels are still very low. Logically if no one was in contact with vulnerable relatives as per the rules this wouldn't be an issue. Of course as PP say some have vulnerable parents and are vulnerable themselves but this is the exception rather than the rule and those people should be free to make arrangements that suit their own families.

Ok logged in to read it

Williamson does not give a date

It’s education leaders and NEU bloody union saying as late as May

Why we need their comments as anything interesting is too much

I wish they'd give some indication as to what they mean by 'open fully.' If that means that it'll be May before secondary children are back full time then maybe that's manageable. Do they mean primaries earlier, or everyone part time? I'd certainly take a part time place over nothing. I think the worst thing this whole way along has been the hinting and leaking of information. It's terrible for our mental health!