The Psychology of those who look to depress others

[Outseyeder]

This situation has created a unique opportunity for a particular group of people. Those who gain enjoyment and self-esteem from controlling others emotions, specifically people who are looking for reassurance about when the existing restrictions might be eased.
The pattern is now quite clear. First there is an OP saying words to the effect of "when do you think we will have a normal life again". Sometimes there are specific variants like "Am I being optimistic booking a holiday for x date".
You can almost smell the glee in the Controllers' when they see post like this (or are they planting them there themselves??). They pounce with a formulation along the lines of "if you think this is going to be over by y you're going to be sorely disappointed. I think it will be at least z...." with some added justifications and virtue signalling. The Controllers seem to have engineered a sort of reverse takeover of MN, especially this section, and lurk and lurk waiting to pounce.
It is hard not to conclude that these people are absolutely REVELLING in the lost quality of life of others around them, and their great ally is uncertainty. This allows them to make prediction after prediction, once they have assessed the expectations of the other side which they want to undermine. They will never ever admit to being what they are, but they are all over this website at the moment and it is time they were called out.

This isn’t the first post/thread I’ve seen saying that the “negative” people are enjoying it.

What makes you think that? Does it say something about your character I wonder?

I don't think 'the negative people are enjoying it'. I think there's a subset of people who revel in sounding very authoritative about their negativity, who do indeed seem to find some enjoyment in dreaming up ever worse scenarios.

I feel like this is about the eighteenth time now someone has pointed out the OP is talking about a very specific type of negative person, not just anyone who isn't an optimist...

Yes of course on an open anonymous forum you expect a range of opinions. No one's stopping anyone else from posting.

However, if a woman with a newborn in the depths of despair posted on here looking for hope there was light at the end of tunnel and I posted as a mother of a 16 year old saying it was basically all downhill from there and she should suck it up and accept it, I'd be well within my rights to say that but I'd be a complete dick, wouldn't I?

I feel like this is about the eighteenth time now someone has pointed out the OP is talking about a very specific type of negative person, not just anyone who isn't an optimist...

Yep. Posters are wilfully misunderstanding.

There was one particular ray of sunshine who was very prolific on here on the early days of the pandemic, who had these long detailed scenarios about how the NHS would collapse because of all the knife injuries from the riots and civil unrest following lockdown, and who'd post things like "Wait until you're shaking in fear because someone coughed in front of you and you know what that means..."

Someone like that is neither 'just being realistic' nor seriously trying to help people. They're just not.

I feel like now is the time to remind everyone of the poster who suggested that milk and bread are not essential, as you can put cheese in your tea

@GoldenOmber I think I remember that poster. She actually inspired me, in a way, because I decided that even if an enraged covid positive rhino was charging towards me, I'd still try and make a point of NOT sobbing and shaking in fear, just to spite idiots like her.

The best example of this sort of poster in more recent times is the one who keeps name changing to post that all weddings and cups of tea with Mum will be via zoom and there will never be any concerts ever again.

As someone whose father grew up in an actual war zone and then came to this country as an asylum seeker, I do wonder whether some people in this country have led such cosseted existences that they get a thrill out of the drama of believing this is the end times.

My Dad has been pretty pragmatic about the whole thing (whilst being careful) because he has always said, I've lived through some of the worst things you can possibly imagine (and he really has), and I know that better times always come.

I wonder if for some people asserting the negative scenarios might be offering the same psychological benefits as being subscribed to a conspiracy theory, where you feel like you are one of the ones “in the know”.

I removed people asserting the “negative” theories this time last year that the virus might come here and cause problems were laughed at called crazy doom mongerers.

I was glad I stocked up on tinned food and 100x loo rolls in early Feb. 😁

Personally I think this will be a lot better by March/Easter. So a grim couple of months. Vaccine is here, rates are dropping, summer is coming.

But there’s a little part of me worried about the new variants......little part of me worried the vaccines may not be as effective as thought. Little part of me worried this might go on for longer. But I’m not revelling in those thoughts at all. I hate lock down, hate the virus, I’ve lost people I know to the virus, I feel as depressed as fuck with working from home.

Remember not removed. Bloody autocorrect

What a shame. Like Blackcat I actually thought his thread would be really interesting.

But it's just bullshit. I take no glee in telling someone they are idiotic to think this will be over soon.

I said in the first week of jan that schools wouldn't open after Feb 1/2 term. I thought it'd be after Easter. I still think it's true.

What makes you think I'm a psychotic? Misanthropy?

I'm not. I just am straight talking and can't stand idiots. But I take no pleasure in bursting someone's bubble. The fact you've assumed a person does it what is actually wierd here.

I'm a realist. Probably a glass half empty, pessimist realist.

I don't want to know your unrealistic thoughts that schools will be open after Feb 1/2 term, Because you can't stand the thought of them being closed until April. you can't bear that. More fool you.

I don't wanna hear from people who think it's all going to be over from April, or all ok by summer, because I know that realistically it's not.

I'm a realist. I want to know facts, the truth, no bullshit, no fantasy, no ideals. I just want to know what's really going on.

I like the truth.

unfortunately in this covid situation, you can't! but you can still be realistic about things. Plus history shows time and time again governments muck things up.

ohcomeallyechristmas number 3 looks perfectly reasonable to me. Apart from the 2025 but. I'd say 2022.

And the fact you call a person who posts 3 mentally unwell or nasty.

Is very odd.

I said in the first week of jan that schools wouldn't open after Feb 1/2 term. I thought it'd be after Easter. I still think it's true.

Yes but again not really what the OP is talking about, is it.

And that is the thing isn't it.....this post is about the psychology of depressing people. The ones who want to do that have completely missed the point are are here telling us the miserable future ahead.
Crabs in buckets theory proven.

MN, can we please have a crab emoji.

Crabs are everywhere so it's no surprise they've infested this thread

See, we have posts about how this isn’t about your regular realists (and us regular realists, despite being right all the bloody time, have received a shed load of vitriol over the post year) and then we have the last post, which just shows that many people do view the regular realists as the crabs in buckets.
I see the people who form groups like the anti dementors as your basic school ground bullies. It’s all a matter of perception, isn’t it?

then we have the last post, which just shows that many people do view the regular realists as the crabs in buckets.

Yes but they don't.

Jeez Louise. Are people just unable to read?

BTW I am saying that as someone who back in March was derided as being a doom monger. I knew it would go on til this point because the government were not putting the correct measures in.

I do not think that saying some restrictions will be around til Christmas (or whenever) is doom mongery. But that isn't what the OP is talking about. They are talking about posters who jump on threads where the OP is clearly struggling with, say, homeschooling and say "well you'd better get used to it as no schools til 2022 as far as I can see", or if they are struggling with not seeing family say "this is the way it will always be now, there will be no more family gatherings - that part of life has ended".

I also think part of it is people jump the gun and don't read stuff properly. So when Chris Witty says some restrictions will be needed into next winter he is talking about masks on public transport and in shop, quarantining if you have symptoms or test positive and SD with random strangers in shops etc. He isn't referring to full on lockdown from now until then.

"Crabs are everywhere, so it's no surprise they've infested this thread".

Typical bullying. Use of the word "infested", which is never a sign of a pleasant person. Obviously referring to the fact that the poster believes that some of the people posting DO indeed fit the description of the OP.

"The ones who want to do that have completely missed the point are are here telling us the miserable future ahead.
Crabs in buckets theory proven."

Again, this is aimed at posters on this thread, not at some nebulous doom lovers elsewhere.

Of course, the posts are left vague, so the bullies can claim they weren't aimed at specific people.

What this post really displays is the prevalence of othering and the failure to see other people's opinions as valid.

My way of coping is to follow the advice and see how the situation unfolds. I find speculation quite stressful. People wondering when life will be normal again seems pointless; just wait and see. I believe life will go back to normal at some point but I don't want to put a mental deadline on it and get disappointed when it doesn't happen. I also don't want to know if it's not going to go back to normal, I'd rather just find that out in time.

This approach means I'm never going to be a world leader but I'm fine with that. I'm not particularly interested in slating how things have been handled as no one could possibly know exactly what to do at the start and have everyone later agree that all their decisions were right.

I liken it to weather forecasts. My MIL always looks at different weather forecasts to see if she can find one that matches how she'd like a day to be. She then settles on that forecast and says that's what will happen. I rarely bother with a weather forecast and don't massively trust them, unless the forecast is for today, as they generally change. I'm happy to wait and see whereas she wants certainty and gets reassurance / enjoyment from that.

Just different approaches.

For me I feel it's fine that there are optimists (sometimes it seems unrealistically so) and pessimists .
Its fine if people say "I think your scenario (going to a concert/going on holiday this summer for example) is unlikely. I think we may still have restrictions then"
But I hate the sort of post that starts asserting their opinion, as if it is fact, with an air of authority or superiority (without any qualification to back this up) like they're scolding naughty child.
It usually starts with "Sorry.... " or "I'm afraid"

"I'm afraid there will be no holidays or flights until at least 2025, and the sooner everyone gets used to that idea the better"

Also the type of people who knew this would happen in December 2019 the first time covid was mentioned and they want a "I said it first" ot "I told you so" sticker.