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The Psychology of those who look to depress others

267 replies

Outseyeder · 20/01/2021 02:18

This situation has created a unique opportunity for a particular group of people. Those who gain enjoyment and self-esteem from controlling others emotions, specifically people who are looking for reassurance about when the existing restrictions might be eased.
The pattern is now quite clear. First there is an OP saying words to the effect of "when do you think we will have a normal life again". Sometimes there are specific variants like "Am I being optimistic booking a holiday for x date".
You can almost smell the glee in the Controllers' when they see post like this (or are they planting them there themselves??). They pounce with a formulation along the lines of "if you think this is going to be over by y you're going to be sorely disappointed. I think it will be at least z...." with some added justifications and virtue signalling. The Controllers seem to have engineered a sort of reverse takeover of MN, especially this section, and lurk and lurk waiting to pounce.
It is hard not to conclude that these people are absolutely REVELLING in the lost quality of life of others around them, and their great ally is uncertainty. This allows them to make prediction after prediction, once they have assessed the expectations of the other side which they want to undermine. They will never ever admit to being what they are, but they are all over this website at the moment and it is time they were called out.

OP posts:
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Nellodee · 21/01/2021 19:07

I think it's clear that my point is that often people (like yourself) say that people have said something terrible, and then when you investigate it, it becomes clear that what they actually said was never that outrageous in the first place, but became mythologised.

Do you have any comment to make about my theory?

TheKeatingFive · 21/01/2021 19:09

The sobbing and shaking definitely happened. I remember it clearly. Not sure what it was about, something innocuous like going to a shop. Pretty sure it was genuine.

FourTeaFallOut · 21/01/2021 19:17

I present to you...sobbing and shaking with emotion

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3883065-have-you-told-anyone-to-step-back-aibu

Nellodee · 21/01/2021 19:20

Nope, that's not it, sorry. That's someone humorously referencing the sobbing and shaking thread.

FourTeaFallOut · 21/01/2021 19:22

Are you sure, the second post? Confused

Nellodee · 21/01/2021 19:27

Yep, the same poster made this thread, they were definitely taking the piss. I think a lot of these really dramatic "dementor" things didn't happen at all.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3919279-Did-anyone-actually-put-cheese-in-their-coffee

FourTeaFallOut · 21/01/2021 19:33

Well, key phrases aside, I don't think you'd have to make more than a casual stroll through the coronavirus board to see shitty tactics of using posters worries as a platform to launch into hyperbolic predictions about life in the future.

GoldenOmber · 21/01/2021 19:35

There definitely were people claiming that milk wasn’t an essential/cucumbers didn’t count as essential/tomatoes weren’t really NEEDED just WANTED etc. Not to mention the Great Easter Egg Rows of April.

But I think a lot of that came from fear, and not quite the same motivations as the “New normal is here to stay. Sorry.” posters or the Zoom Weddings Forever woman.

TheKeatingFive · 21/01/2021 19:38

Not to mention the Great Easter Egg Rows of April.

I don’t even understand that one. Weren’t people in the supermarket already? What difference was sticking an egg in the trolley supposed to make?

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 21/01/2021 19:39

@GoldenOmber

There definitely were people claiming that milk wasn’t an essential/cucumbers didn’t count as essential/tomatoes weren’t really NEEDED just WANTED etc. Not to mention the Great Easter Egg Rows of April.

But I think a lot of that came from fear, and not quite the same motivations as the “New normal is here to stay. Sorry.” posters or the Zoom Weddings Forever woman.

There were, I was told I was thick and DH because he went to the shop for milk and bought me some chocolates while he was there. Apparently he shouldn't have been buying milk in the first place. I don't think that came from fear, it was an idiot who decided lockdown wasn't being done properly if we could buy milk.
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 21/01/2021 19:40

*and DH was an idiot

Nellodee · 21/01/2021 19:42

I think I've missed most of those threads, or I'm interpreting them totally differently. I see a lot of people making what I think are very reasonable predictions and being called dementors, being gleeful about lockdowns and revelling in other people's misery.

I also wonder if a lot of the threads I miss take place on AIBU, rather than on here? I don't visit that much, so that could explain my "bubble" being different to the one people are talking about on this thread.

psychomath · 21/01/2021 20:32

But I think a lot of that came from fear, and not quite the same motivations as the “New normal is here to stay. Sorry.” posters or the Zoom Weddings Forever woman.

I don't know who the zoom weddings forever woman is, but to be fair, even when there's no pandemic I often read MN and feel like some people live in a completely different reality to me and everyone I know. Maybe there's a disproportionate number of people on here who really do believe that Normality As We Knew It Is Gone Forever and are bewildered that the rest of us don't 'understand' that.

I'm not being facetious. If people have crippling anxiety and catastrophise everything, or are insular to the point where they believe this is literally the worst thing that's ever happened in all of history, chances are they aren't meeting a wide range of people in real life, so the rest of us are more likely to encounter them online. Maybe a lot of people still are extremely fearful, and we just don't notice most of the time because none of them are going out.

FourTeaFallOut · 21/01/2021 21:07

This is on another thread at the moment. It's in response to an op who is desperate at the thought of lockdowns extending in to summer:

Lockdowns will never end.
Another virus will come along and it will start all over again.
People need to rise up, like they have in Italy 🇮🇹 for example,and demand their freedoms back

So, there you go. There was an opportunity to capitalise on the worry of another poster to launch thier own campaign of misery and political opinion and they took it. It's not about keywords. It's about shitty tactics.

FourTeaFallOut · 21/01/2021 21:10

I can actual spell, believe it or not - I just think my thumbs take no notice to my brain when I'm cross.

Truelymadlydeeplysomeonesmum · 21/01/2021 21:47

Some people should be ashamed of themselves. To turn a person's worries into a excuse to push a political agenda or tell people to riot is disgusting.

Hoiking · 22/01/2021 07:47

The Dementors remind me of those nutcase survivalists in America. Thrilled to be able to 'survive' on no milk, eating shit meals because it's The End Times.

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